Wrestling Reality: The Life and Mind of Chris Kanyon, Wrestling's Gay Superstar

by Chris Kanyon, Ryan Clark

A rare glimpse not only into the life of a professional wrestler, but the life of a gay man in a straight world, this tragic memoir is told in Chris Kanyon’s own words, with the help of journalist Ryan Clark.One of the most popular wrestlers of the late 1990s, Kanyon kept his personal life private from his fans until finally revealing his biggest secret in 2004: he was gay. Going through the various roles that Kanyon played, both in the ring and out of it, as well as his battle with manic depression, this book explores the factors that led to his suicide in 2010.In his voice and the way he wanted it told, these are Kanyon’s last words about his experience rising through the ranks to the top of the professional wrestling world while keeping his sexuality hidden.

Genres: Biography, Nonfiction, Sports

312 pages, Paperback

First published October 1, 2008

Reviews

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a major must read for fans of Chris Kanyon, wrestling and/or people who want to know what it is to be a closeted gay man in a strongly heterosexual sport. I knew the outcome, I knew what wound up happening to Kanyon and still wound up crying at the end. Chris' demons weren't the usual wrestling "demons" - his was dealing with being in the closet, fearing losing his job, his family and friends if his secret was discovered; plus, realizing he was bipolar to boot. He was given a burden that no one should have to bear, and ultimately he couldn't carry it any longer. My heart goes out to him and his family. Kanyon was tremendously talented in the ring and had a passion for wrestling that drove him to become as great as he was. Perhaps he was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time as far as getting very far in WWE - most wrestling fans know about the Vince McMahon stereotype he sticks to - and we know things have changed in the past ten years. However, he still would have been dealing with wanting to be out of the closet at a time that Vince was still mocking homosexuals. It's only with Darren Young coming out as gay in the past year and WWE partnering with GLAAD that things are starting to change. At least publicly. Privately, we still have no clue how it is to be gay in WWE. Elsewhere, there are still very few independent wrestlers who are choosing to be public about their sexuality. Should they have to be? No. But it also shouldn't be a problem for wrestlers to have matches with others who are gay. Unfortunately many still do. But hopefully, with this book and more people wiling to be open about who and what they are, the tides will turn.

Sadly, it's too late for Chris Kanyon. But hopefully his place in wrestling history will never be forgotten, and his contributions to wrestling and society as a gay man who revealed his struggle in this autobiography will help change things. I hope so.

Who better than Kanyon? No one. Absolutely no one.

[Jade Eby · Rating 4 out of 5]

Originally posted at my blog Chasing Empty Pavements

When I saw this book on Netgalley, I remembered watching Kanyon on TV and I knew I had to read this book. Plus, I find it so interesting that he had to live a majority of his life hiding his sexuality.

The Good: This did NOT read like a boring biography/memoir AT all. It was so interesting and fast paced, I felt like I was actually just listening to Chris speak out loud. I could almost hear his voice leap from the pages. I really enjoy that we get a solid background on Chris's life and the beginning struggles he has figuring out he is gay. The way he relays his life to us, I can understand why he went through periods of deep depression and tried to hide his sexuality. I think it's inspiring that Chris not only went to college, graduated and worked a full time "real" job before wrestling, but that he continued to follow his dreams and passions despite knowing how hard it would be on him. Throughout the book, you can just tell how educated and thoughtful he is. It really makes me sad for his passing. The most heartbreaking thing comes at the end, because when he and Ryan Clark were finished with the book, he was still alive. The tributes at the end are so sad to read. I really felt that Chris was such a relatable and spirited man, I wish there could have been someone that was able to help him through his rough spots, someone who could of talked him down from the ledge. I think the thing that really surprised me about this book was that there was just enough background and talk about wrestling, to add to the overall understanding and message of the book and Chris Kanyon's life but not SO much that people who aren't interested in wrestling would be turned off. It's the opposite actually, I think there's the perfect amount of wrestling talk to keep the non-wrestling fans interested.

The Bad: A little lengthy in some places....it tended to get bogged down with details that the readers really don't need or want....they don't add anything to his life story or the overall message of the book. However, I think Ryan Clark wanted to stay as true to Chris as he could, and perhaps that's why he chose to include things that were irrelevant.

Overall... I thought this was one of the best biographies/memoirs that I've read. It opened my eyes to a different side of wrestling, really gave me a great understanding of what he was up against as a gay man in that industry. It made me a little angry that he was treated the way he was. If you enjoy reading about the world of pro-wrestling or are interested in the life of Chris Kanyon, I would highly recommend this book! I give it a B+!

**I received this book free from the publisher through www.netgalley.com. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own

[Annie Ashbrook · Rating 3 out of 5]

3/5 Stars!
I had no knowledge about Chris Kanyon (Klucsarits) before reading this book. His story is interesting and meaningful, and I am glad I learned about his life! What an impactful piece of queer history that I was not aware of! It seems like the online wrestling community revers him as one of the greats, and his story reflects that. Everything from this book and what I’ve now read online about him makes me feel heartbroken that he was treated so poorly by the WWE. Kanyon deserved a happy ending to his amazing 15 year career in wrestling.

While I feel like I am coming away from this book more knowledgeable on wrestling and Kanyon’s career, the writing was really hard for me to get through. I think having a more critical editor would help his writing. Kanyon spent a lot of time talking about things that weren’t super important or interesting, and then brushed past the parts that I felt were the most impactful of showing readers a new light into his life.

I am sure the editor struggled with the editing process since this book was still being worked on after Kanyon’s passing. A solid review and honest cut could have made this a 5 star read. Still recommend to anyone interested in wrestling, queer history, or autobiographies!

[Peter · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have always been somewhat of a WWF guy. Growning up in the UK around the 90's BOOM period i had the luxury of both WWF and WCW. WWF more regular through Sky Sports but also WCW at the Cartoon Network TNT switch over. Kanyon was always one of those guys that i watched but would never have a lasting impression of.

Now i am 25, A referee i see wrestlers and there work in different lights, i see more than there overall ablility in the ring. i see there over all contribution to the business and Chris Kanyon in my opinion had IT. I dont say it about a lot of people. I agree Raven has it, i know he has iv worked shows with him and spent time with him he has it. Jake Roberts im not convinced about but Kanyon had IT.

This book highlights the highs and lows of any person in the pro Wrestling business but is even more personal due to Chris's personal demons.

This book is well written and the layout and general story breakdown makes it manageable to read in the sense that your not just looking at pages and pages of words its appealing to me as i kept saying to myself.. "ok well just a few more sections"

At times i think the book went a little to far off story but i guess thats what Ryan took from Chris and it all made the over all book the high and low account which in retrospect is just what Chris's life was all about.

This isnt just a book for wrestling fans, This book would be a great tool for any young, Old, man, Woman, Boy or girl suffering with sexuality issues. This could be a great tool to help them with along the way. Kanyon wrote at the back of the book that he closed his speech at the gay speaking convention he did at the Uni that they were to enjoy the journey and to enjoy life. I put it to you, if any one reads this and is struggling with sexuality or you know someone who is, then just because Kanyons voice might be gone, his words are immortalised forever. Great Read.

[Kevin Thang · Rating 4 out of 5]

Half wrestling journey in the ring, half wrestling with his coming out, an equal parts tragedy.

The life of Chris Kanyon, a closeted gay professional wrestler who felt he was never accepted in his industry and eventually took his own life.

Chris revealing he knew he was gay at the age of seven but throughout his whole life and most of his professional career could not reveal the truth out of fear from his peers and bosses. Coming up in the 90’s a time where majority of professional athletes could not or did not come out in their industry, Chris talks about how he had to hide his private life from his friends and coworkers, almost living a double life: one inside the ring and one outside.

And when he did eventually come out, his fears came true as he felt he role was demoted by Vince McMahon and WWE into a comedic role for his character and led to a legit brutal on screen beatdown at the hands of The Undertaker. And then he felt unfairly fired because of his sexual orientation.

Although the book and story is mostly sad stories given the outcome of his life, there are some positive moments in Chris Kanyon’s career including finally making it when he signed a contract with WCW and then later given more of a backstage role by Eric Bischoff as well as being brought in as a constant for wrestling movies.

[Kalen Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

Even though Kanyon did kill himself after finishing this book it's still inspirational because he didn't give up on his dream. As someone who has gave up on wrestling in a sense it's a real eye opener(recently stopped training due to bisexuality). It showed me that maybe i don't have to give up one to have the other. I just wish Kanyon could have done the same. Despite his story having a sad ending him telling him story helped me and will help anyone in a similar situation. Rest In Peace Chris. "WHO BETTER THAN KANYON"

[Conrad · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such an intense story and finale. The struggles of being closeted along with mental health disorders. I was a fan and am a bigger fan after reading this, even if I disagree on why WWE let him go.

[Tony Farinella · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a tough review to write as Chris Kanyon passed away in 2010 from suicide. He also struggled with mental health issues and feeling comfortable coming out of the closet with his sexuality. I do feel bad criticizing the book, but I have to be honest: The book is easy to read but hard to take seriously. It’s hard to take seriously because he’s an unreliable storyteller. Many times throughout the book, his dates, facts, and information were inaccurate and inconsistent.

The best parts of the book include his stories on Jim Mitchell. Jim is an entertaining individual, and his stories about living with Jim and his antics are hilarious.

I hate to call anyone a liar, but I didn’t believe a lot of the stories in the book as it seemed like he was trying to make things more exciting and entertaining for the sake of being entertaining and exciting. I had read that he wanted to turn his story into a movie. I don’t know if his concussions made it hard for him to remember things correctly or if he was embellishing his story to make it more interesting for Hollywood.

Rest in peace, Chris Kanyon. The book is a quick read, but it’s very much lacking in substance and detail.

[Jeffrey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I grew up a huge wrestling fan. Watching both WWF/WWE and WCW over the years. I never was a huge fan of Chris Kanyon but I knew who he was. Overall a very good read for wrestling fans.

[Liliana · Rating 5 out of 5]

We love you, Chris.

[Ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read Wrestling Reality a couple of years ago and it's still the best autobiography I've ever read. Entertaining and yet so, so sad considering the end of Chris' life. Can honestly say it's the best wrestling book I've read and I'll go back to it many, many times over the next few years.

[Darkness · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was a huge fan of Cris Kanyon in WCW when he debut as Mortis. It was a goofy gimmick to some but I enjoyed the "Blood Runs Cold" angle they were going along side the nWo. As Mortis grew into Kanyon I was more interested in the angle he and Raven were having than anything else going on in WCW. I followed Chris ever since and was literally mouth agape watching some of the innovative moves he did in the ring.

I continued to watch him as his career progressed up until his last run in the WWE, then he just sort of fell off the radar. I read about what happened with the controversy behind his sexuality and ultimately his finale on this plain of existence. I was glad that a book come out to detail his life.

I read tons of wrestling bios, being a wrestler myself it is always interesting to me to see where others got their inspiration to join this insane way of life. How they broke into the business and the hurdles they overcame to get to where they were. Chris went through all of that and more. Where a lot of wrestlers deal with drug addiction as their "demons", Chris' was his sexuality and trying to find a balance between being himself and the character he portrayed as well as the wrestling personas he had to play in the ring. The homosexual aspects of the story are written with enough detail to get the stories across without getting to graphic if you are worried about that aspect of his story, I read a lot of Anne Rice growing up so it was no big deal for me, though some may still be squeamish. The wrestling gets into some details but glosses over a few key incidents as well. Chris was mistreated in WWE along with others around him so he does dish a bit of dirt on the management of WWE and Vince McMahon himself as well as the insanity of WCW's management and even SMW if that's the type of story you're looking for.

I enjoyed learning about Chris' life and was genuinely entertained by the book even knowing how it all turned out. I would put it up there with Mick Foley and Chris Jericho's bios in terms of wit and entertainment.

[Rob · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is the life story of professional wrestler Chris Kanyon. It spans from his childhood and through his career as a professional wrestler. Interwoven with his career is the internal struggle he had with being gay.

I found the book an interesting read. I was never a huge Kanyon fan growing up. I didn't dislike him but he was someone that I didn't really follow. So I was largely unaware of the vast majority of his career. I do remember his WWF run after the demise of WCW, but not the moment he considers his most important angle. Unlike the vast majority of pro wrestler biographies, this one broke a lot of kayfabe. While I knew a lot about how pro wrestlers come up, a lot of what is glossed over is the politics involved in all facets of the business.

What bothered me about the book is that Kanyon messed up the timeline. I realize that certain things get confused in a person's mind. But he would take major angles and confuse the sequence of how they went. Granted, I noticed a vast majority were angles he was not directly involved in.

The other thing that bothered me is that he referred to all his matches as fights. Being a pro wrestling fan, I know that these are typically not legitimate fights. It isn't a big deal, but bothered me as he should be referring to them as matches or bouts. Granted, this book I think was written with the emphasis on the gay, rather than the professional wrestler in the title. Thus, the audience is more so those who are reading it as LGTBQ literature and not as much a pro wrestling book.

Overall, I would recommend this to anyone who was a fan of WCW or Kanyon. The best part of this book is it made no effort to kiss up to Vince McMahon's and his revisionist history of how WCW was second rate. Thus, it gives an unbiased account of working in WCW and working in WWF. It actually shows a lot of insight that is missing in the sanitized WWE books.

[Sally Guillen · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I first read the description of the book I was interested. While I am not a huge, nor was I ever, a big fan of wrestling this book offered more. I wasn't too familiar with Chris Kanyon, but google was able to fill in the gaps. It must have been so tough for him to not only let people in on his homosexuality, but to battle with depression at the same time. Towards the end of the book I so wanted it to be a joke. Like psych he really didn't commit suicide and is laughing his butt off somewhere. He was such a like-able guy and someone that I feel anyone could have gotten along with. Having dealt with depression myself and having lost my older brother to suicide I was a bit scared to read this book. It wasn't about his death, but about his life. He had a great life and I just wished he had seen that, just as I wish my own brother had seen it.

If any of the other wrestling books out there are like this one, then I'll be reading a whole lot more. Thank you to the editors/publishers, the Klucsarits family, and Chris himself for letting all of us read his story.

[Grace Masters · Rating 4 out of 5]

The story of Chris Kanyon in his own words. I loved the WCW in the '90s. I enjoyed going through some of the memories with him of other wrestlers and fights. His personal story... while it did end tragically, he's inspiring. He went after his dream, costs be damned. That's something to admire. It's sad he had to suffer such guilt and shame about being who he truly was (or rather hiding it). I hope that folks that pick up this book will come away with hope and understanding. Hope that one day no one will have to endure the pain he did (both with his secret and mental illness) and understanding that we are all worthy of respect and love.

My only gripe is the with e-book. There were quite a few editing errors such as double wording and missing words.

[Lavie Margolin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have read nearly every pro wrestling autobiography ever written and can safely say that this book is unique from all. Most books will take you along for a wrestler's journey from childhood to the major leagues. Kanyon does it vividly. Most share insight into their run in the major leagues- Kanyon does it with more insight. A major theme throughout the book is Kanyon's struggles with his sexuality. He vividly provides insight into the struggles that he dealt with, tragically leading to his untimely demise. Due to the mature themes on sexuality and suicide, the book is probably best left to those over the age of 18.

[Matt Murphy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've read dozens of wrestlers' autobiographies, and Wrestling Reality was one of my favorites. It showed the passion and dedication of a lifelong fan from his childhood to college, then into pro wrestling as a struggling independent wrestler before he was finally able to wrestle for a living. The book offered an interesting look at some of the top promotions in wrestling, as Kanyon tried to find his place in Smoky Mountain Wrestling, WCW, and WWE. There were a few things I didn't like about Wrestling Reality, mostly factual and chronological errors, but overall it was in the upper tier of wrestling books. I would put it in the Top 10 and highly recommend it.

[Bertrand Hebert · Rating 4 out of 5]

A different book with a great struggle by a very underated talent.

The timeline and facts could have been double check, as some of it just didn't add up. But it doesn't take away from the book.

When you get left behind at the train station letting the train go is just too much when you love wrestling so much, Kanyon is a constant reminder to enjoy the journey !

A must read for every wrestler on the indy scene !

[Oliver Bateman · Rating 5 out of 5]

interesting bits here, esp. the stuff on gender/sexuality. wrestling fans should consider tackling this one after they've finished all the "main" books. the work has added resonance given that kanyon wasn't long for this world after the book's release

[Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a great story but tragic at the same time. I'd definitely recommend this to any wrestling fan.

[Kevin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartbreaking story. Even knowing how it ends before starting you are enraptured with his story. I could not put this down. Shame on you Vince McMahon.

[Jason · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such an awesome, awesome book.