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Ragnar and Juliet
Bounty hunting is usually so easy. Flash a little cleavage, mix a roofie cocktail, and Juliet has her man right where she wants out cold, ready to be swapped for cash. Her passions are freedom, trashy clothes, and pie—not necessarily in that order.
Hunky alien ship captain Ragnar doesn't deserve torture at the hands of the psychotic king who hired Juliet; he liberated one of William the Nefarious' illegal concubines. Juliet can't ignore such a noble act. She doesn’t trust men, but this one, with the kindest smile she's ever seen, picks away at her resolve to stay aloof and clothed. He's just so…nice! Crazy she can deal with; sincerity is terrifying.
Before she gives in to her irrational urge to get a timeshare with him (and his cute tail), they're caught by the bad guys. Ragnar disappears and abandons her to her disgusting captors—so much for togetherness. Perhaps he’s not such a saint. Even worse, Nefarious William (who prefers "Bob") has nominated her for Concubine of the Evening. This dubious honor does not thrill her, and only a few hours remain before the king’s mind-altering drugs obliterate her free will.
Sexual slavery might not be fatal, but Juliet would rather die. Of course, the third option (run away to a beach and hump Ragnar silly) is the best, if they can live that long.
Hunky alien ship captain Ragnar doesn't deserve torture at the hands of the psychotic king who hired Juliet; he liberated one of William the Nefarious' illegal concubines. Juliet can't ignore such a noble act. She doesn’t trust men, but this one, with the kindest smile she's ever seen, picks away at her resolve to stay aloof and clothed. He's just so…nice! Crazy she can deal with; sincerity is terrifying.
Before she gives in to her irrational urge to get a timeshare with him (and his cute tail), they're caught by the bad guys. Ragnar disappears and abandons her to her disgusting captors—so much for togetherness. Perhaps he’s not such a saint. Even worse, Nefarious William (who prefers "Bob") has nominated her for Concubine of the Evening. This dubious honor does not thrill her, and only a few hours remain before the king’s mind-altering drugs obliterate her free will.
Sexual slavery might not be fatal, but Juliet would rather die. Of course, the third option (run away to a beach and hump Ragnar silly) is the best, if they can live that long.
81 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 26, 2012
1 person is currently reading
123 people want to read
About the author
Lucy Woodhull
9 books62 followersLucy Woodhull's writing began in the womb, where she composed haiku about being claustrophobic. Unfortunately, her mother interpreted this talent as "heartburn," so Lucy's gifts went unappreciated in the world at large for several years.
In addition to writing le steamy romantic comedy, Lucy pens parody and satire, for she dreams of being the literary Mel Brooks. (You should imagine air quotes around the word "literary.")
Her motto is "Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you'll short-circuit your Kindle." That's why she writes funny books, because goodness knows we all need to escape the real world once in a while.
In addition to writing le steamy romantic comedy, Lucy pens parody and satire, for she dreams of being the literary Mel Brooks. (You should imagine air quotes around the word "literary.")
Her motto is "Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you'll short-circuit your Kindle." That's why she writes funny books, because goodness knows we all need to escape the real world once in a while.
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
February 11, 2018
I'm so glad I read this. It was hilarious! I think my favorite part was the introduction of the king, which won't spoil anything for you:
“King William the Nefarious! PhD in Sports Psychology. King William the Nefarious! Even more nefarious than some who might call themselves nefarious, but who are markedly less nefarious than King William.” He puffed and panted from all his speechifying.
Ragnar and Juliet clapped politely, unsure of what else to do.
“Thank you,” he wheezed. “The king wrote that himself.”
“You don't say?” Ragnar’s tail twitched.
And it got so much funnier when King William actually came out and started scratching his crotch with his scepter. Good stuff, man. Good stuff.
“King William the Nefarious! PhD in Sports Psychology. King William the Nefarious! Even more nefarious than some who might call themselves nefarious, but who are markedly less nefarious than King William.” He puffed and panted from all his speechifying.
Ragnar and Juliet clapped politely, unsure of what else to do.
“Thank you,” he wheezed. “The king wrote that himself.”
“You don't say?” Ragnar’s tail twitched.
And it got so much funnier when King William actually came out and started scratching his crotch with his scepter. Good stuff, man. Good stuff.
September 18, 2011
Despite not being my normal flavor (I'm more of a "rocks fall, everyone dies" kind of reader), I really enjoyed Ragnar and Juliet. It was witty and fast-paced, and a little bit naughty. But who doesn't love a man with a tail? Well worth a read if you're looking for something fun and lighthearted. Or if you're Team Cake (or Pie, really).
September 23, 2011
I loved, loved the book! I have read very few sci-fi romance, and Lucy's was fantastic :)
Simple story - of girl meets boy, and they both have to escape an evil king to get to their HEA, but Lucy has created magic with it. There's a super-rodent aka space ship's first mate to contend with (Eep!) and there're concubines as well! Oh, and there's a tail involved ;)..Umm..there's pies too! OMG! Let me stop here before I giveaway the entire story ;)
Enjoyed every moment of reading it and she made me laugh aloud in almost every page :) Lucy really has a gift with injecting humour within romance!
Thank you for a wonderful, hilarious read, Lucy! I badly needed that this week!
Simple story - of girl meets boy, and they both have to escape an evil king to get to their HEA, but Lucy has created magic with it. There's a super-rodent aka space ship's first mate to contend with (Eep!) and there're concubines as well! Oh, and there's a tail involved ;)..Umm..there's pies too! OMG! Let me stop here before I giveaway the entire story ;)
Enjoyed every moment of reading it and she made me laugh aloud in almost every page :) Lucy really has a gift with injecting humour within romance!
Thank you for a wonderful, hilarious read, Lucy! I badly needed that this week!
January 29, 2012
I reviewed this for TwoLips Reviews, LLC:
Juliet loves her job as a bounty hunter—flash a little cleavage, mix a little ruffie-infused cocktail and bam….she has her man just where she wants him. Out cold and in her brig. Then it’s time to celebrate with pie, something she loves as much as her freedom and trashy clothes.
Liberating one of King William the Nefarious’ illegal concubines has put sexy alien space ship captain Ragnar on Juliet’s bounty list. While Juliet can’t ignore his noble behavior, she doesn’t trust men. Will Ragnar’s kindness and alluring smile convince her to let him go free?
Before Juliet gets a chance to get up close and personal with Ragnar (and his cute tail), they’re captured by the bad guys. Then Ragnar disappears and leaves Juliet in the hands of her disgusting captors. Even worse, William the Nefarious (who now prefers to be called “Bob”), decides to have Juliet become “Concubine of the Night.” Not happy with the dubious nomination, Juliet needs to figure out a way to escape before the king’s mind-altering drug turns her into a sexual slave.
While Juliet would rather run away to a beach and have her way with Ragnar, she’ll have to come up with a plan to end her impending sexual slavery. Will Juliet and Ragnar live long enough to succeed?
Ragnar and Juliet by Lucy Woodhull is a funny, campy Sci-Fi Space Opera filled with a bounty hunter, a sexy alien with a tail, which works like an extra arm, an even stranger alien co-pilot, a psychotic king, and his crazy minions. While there are a lot of funny one-liners, I was a little disappointed in the romance part of the story, though overall the story is fairly enjoyable. This story might have worked better if it had been longer in length and further developed.
Juliet Lawrence loves being a bounty hunter. She loves the freedom, the ability to dress and talk like she wants, and the money she makes. It’s especially fun when the fugitive is a man, who’s easily distracted when she flashes her cleavage and stealthily sneaks a ruffie into his drink, which knocks him out, and then places him in her brig and takes him to collect her bounty. She doesn’t have much use for men except for the occasional sexual partner, which is why she’s surprised by her attraction to Ragnar Manscape, her newest quarry. When she discovers the reason behind his wanted fugitive status, she’s even more intrigued, but still not ready to think of a real relationship. While I liked Juliet’s character, I really felt as if Ms. Woodhull didn’t let us get to know her till the story was almost finished. I liked her sassy spirit but wanted to get to know more about how she became the woman she has become. I also wanted to know why she was so against any kind of relationship.
Ragnar Manscape is a humanoid on the run. While he’s suspicious of Juliet’s intentions on their first meeting, he lets her drug him knowing his alien physiology will protect him in the long run. Tall, handsome, and in great shape, he’s got an interesting little addition—a tail which acts like a third arm, which he’s named “Torval”. While at first the tail is a little strange, it does prove to be interesting as the story develops. While I loved Ragnar’s sense of independence and his sassy wit, I really feel like Ms. Woodhull missed a great opportunity with his character. We literally don’t get to know anything about the planet he comes from, his people, his age, or why he’s still single when he’s such a catch. I would really have liked to have gotten to know his character better.
The scenes between Juliet and Ragnar are full of snappy dialogue and one-liners; the chemistry between them is pretty obvious. There’s even humor when they take turns drugging and holding each other captive. While their friendship develops, I really didn’t see a romance developing from their interactions and then the story changes course because of their capture by King William the Nefarious’ men.
When the secondary characters get involved, things slow down and we meet some rather strange individuals. We meet Pippy, Ragnar’s first mate and co-pilot, who’s a rodent like creature with nimble hands and who apparently comes from Ragnar’s planet. We also meet King William the Nefarious, or “Bob” as he now wants to be called, who in a word is a sexist pig. He’s so vile that I can’t understand why his minions put up with him and haven’t taken him out.
Will Juliet and Ragnar be able to escape King William’s palace? And will Juliet discover Ragnar’s secret ability to disappear, courtesy of his alien heritage? You’ll have to read Ragnar and Juliet to find out.
Juliet loves her job as a bounty hunter—flash a little cleavage, mix a little ruffie-infused cocktail and bam….she has her man just where she wants him. Out cold and in her brig. Then it’s time to celebrate with pie, something she loves as much as her freedom and trashy clothes.
Liberating one of King William the Nefarious’ illegal concubines has put sexy alien space ship captain Ragnar on Juliet’s bounty list. While Juliet can’t ignore his noble behavior, she doesn’t trust men. Will Ragnar’s kindness and alluring smile convince her to let him go free?
Before Juliet gets a chance to get up close and personal with Ragnar (and his cute tail), they’re captured by the bad guys. Then Ragnar disappears and leaves Juliet in the hands of her disgusting captors. Even worse, William the Nefarious (who now prefers to be called “Bob”), decides to have Juliet become “Concubine of the Night.” Not happy with the dubious nomination, Juliet needs to figure out a way to escape before the king’s mind-altering drug turns her into a sexual slave.
While Juliet would rather run away to a beach and have her way with Ragnar, she’ll have to come up with a plan to end her impending sexual slavery. Will Juliet and Ragnar live long enough to succeed?
Ragnar and Juliet by Lucy Woodhull is a funny, campy Sci-Fi Space Opera filled with a bounty hunter, a sexy alien with a tail, which works like an extra arm, an even stranger alien co-pilot, a psychotic king, and his crazy minions. While there are a lot of funny one-liners, I was a little disappointed in the romance part of the story, though overall the story is fairly enjoyable. This story might have worked better if it had been longer in length and further developed.
Juliet Lawrence loves being a bounty hunter. She loves the freedom, the ability to dress and talk like she wants, and the money she makes. It’s especially fun when the fugitive is a man, who’s easily distracted when she flashes her cleavage and stealthily sneaks a ruffie into his drink, which knocks him out, and then places him in her brig and takes him to collect her bounty. She doesn’t have much use for men except for the occasional sexual partner, which is why she’s surprised by her attraction to Ragnar Manscape, her newest quarry. When she discovers the reason behind his wanted fugitive status, she’s even more intrigued, but still not ready to think of a real relationship. While I liked Juliet’s character, I really felt as if Ms. Woodhull didn’t let us get to know her till the story was almost finished. I liked her sassy spirit but wanted to get to know more about how she became the woman she has become. I also wanted to know why she was so against any kind of relationship.
Ragnar Manscape is a humanoid on the run. While he’s suspicious of Juliet’s intentions on their first meeting, he lets her drug him knowing his alien physiology will protect him in the long run. Tall, handsome, and in great shape, he’s got an interesting little addition—a tail which acts like a third arm, which he’s named “Torval”. While at first the tail is a little strange, it does prove to be interesting as the story develops. While I loved Ragnar’s sense of independence and his sassy wit, I really feel like Ms. Woodhull missed a great opportunity with his character. We literally don’t get to know anything about the planet he comes from, his people, his age, or why he’s still single when he’s such a catch. I would really have liked to have gotten to know his character better.
The scenes between Juliet and Ragnar are full of snappy dialogue and one-liners; the chemistry between them is pretty obvious. There’s even humor when they take turns drugging and holding each other captive. While their friendship develops, I really didn’t see a romance developing from their interactions and then the story changes course because of their capture by King William the Nefarious’ men.
When the secondary characters get involved, things slow down and we meet some rather strange individuals. We meet Pippy, Ragnar’s first mate and co-pilot, who’s a rodent like creature with nimble hands and who apparently comes from Ragnar’s planet. We also meet King William the Nefarious, or “Bob” as he now wants to be called, who in a word is a sexist pig. He’s so vile that I can’t understand why his minions put up with him and haven’t taken him out.
Will Juliet and Ragnar be able to escape King William’s palace? And will Juliet discover Ragnar’s secret ability to disappear, courtesy of his alien heritage? You’ll have to read Ragnar and Juliet to find out.
September 27, 2014
Ragnar & Juliet is the first book I’ve read from author Lucy Woodhull. Touted as sci fi romance, there definitely should be comedy added to that description. This book is chalk full of it.
"Bounty hunting is usually so easy. Flash a little cleavage, mix a roofie cocktail, and Juliet has her man right where she wants him: out cold, ready to be swapped for cash. Her passions are freedom, trashy clothes, and pie—not necessarily in that order.
"Hunky alien ship captain Ragnar doesn’t deserve torture at the hands of the psychotic king who hired Juliet; he liberated one of William the Nefarious’ illegal concubines. Juliet can’t ignore such a noble act. She doesn’t trust men, but this one, with the kindest smile she’s ever seen, picks away at her resolve to stay aloof and clothed. He’s just so…nice! Crazy she can deal with; sincerity is terrifying.
"Before she gives in to her irrational urge to get a timeshare with him (and his cute tail), they’re caught by the bad guys. Ragnar disappears and abandons her to her disgusting captors—so much for togetherness. Perhaps he’s not such a saint. Even worse, Nefarious William (who prefers “Bob”) has nominated her for Concubine of the Evening. This dubious honor does not thrill her, and only a few hours remain before the king’s mind-altering drugs obliterate her free will.
"Sexual slavery might not be fatal, but Juliet would rather die. Of course, the third option (run away to a beach and hump Ragnar silly) is the best, if they can live that long."
Right off, if you’re thinking this is merely a romance novel, you’d be wrong. Sure, there’s the romance (though, lust is a better term) between Ragnar and Juliet, but there’s lots of action as well.
As the book opens we’re introduced to Juliet Lawrence, who comes from a long line of wealth, but chose a life of a bounty hunter. Needless to say, as the book describes, she uses her assets to capture her bounties and take them in for the reward. Things go a little upside down when she’s hired to bring in Ragnar Manscape for King William the Nefarious.
Between quick enough descriptions of the time and place, there’s lots of comedy. Whether that’s direct from the characters themselves or through Lucy Woodhull’s descriptive wit. Woodhull manages to put in lots of innuendo without going over the top, and manages to describe what’s needed without taking page upon page to detail the what and where (along with the who, why and how).
A quick read, and thoroughly enjoyable, Ragnar & Juliet is a definite must to anyone who likes high brow (and low brow) comedy intermixed with action in a sci fi universe.
"Bounty hunting is usually so easy. Flash a little cleavage, mix a roofie cocktail, and Juliet has her man right where she wants him: out cold, ready to be swapped for cash. Her passions are freedom, trashy clothes, and pie—not necessarily in that order.
"Hunky alien ship captain Ragnar doesn’t deserve torture at the hands of the psychotic king who hired Juliet; he liberated one of William the Nefarious’ illegal concubines. Juliet can’t ignore such a noble act. She doesn’t trust men, but this one, with the kindest smile she’s ever seen, picks away at her resolve to stay aloof and clothed. He’s just so…nice! Crazy she can deal with; sincerity is terrifying.
"Before she gives in to her irrational urge to get a timeshare with him (and his cute tail), they’re caught by the bad guys. Ragnar disappears and abandons her to her disgusting captors—so much for togetherness. Perhaps he’s not such a saint. Even worse, Nefarious William (who prefers “Bob”) has nominated her for Concubine of the Evening. This dubious honor does not thrill her, and only a few hours remain before the king’s mind-altering drugs obliterate her free will.
"Sexual slavery might not be fatal, but Juliet would rather die. Of course, the third option (run away to a beach and hump Ragnar silly) is the best, if they can live that long."
Right off, if you’re thinking this is merely a romance novel, you’d be wrong. Sure, there’s the romance (though, lust is a better term) between Ragnar and Juliet, but there’s lots of action as well.
As the book opens we’re introduced to Juliet Lawrence, who comes from a long line of wealth, but chose a life of a bounty hunter. Needless to say, as the book describes, she uses her assets to capture her bounties and take them in for the reward. Things go a little upside down when she’s hired to bring in Ragnar Manscape for King William the Nefarious.
Between quick enough descriptions of the time and place, there’s lots of comedy. Whether that’s direct from the characters themselves or through Lucy Woodhull’s descriptive wit. Woodhull manages to put in lots of innuendo without going over the top, and manages to describe what’s needed without taking page upon page to detail the what and where (along with the who, why and how).
A quick read, and thoroughly enjoyable, Ragnar & Juliet is a definite must to anyone who likes high brow (and low brow) comedy intermixed with action in a sci fi universe.
July 7, 2012
A sexy bounty hunter, a hunky fugitive with a tail (called Torval), a psychotic despot in a gold jumpsuit...who could ask for more?
I liked it! ‘Nuff said. However, since the word “review” dictates that I give more explanation than that... The whimsical and irreverent stories like this one appeal to me and I enjoyed this one so much, I read it in one sitting. Pick any Sci-fi adventure and this story reads like a satire of it. Juliet’s as independent as they come, brave, and thoroughly happy with her lot. Ragnar occasionally comes across as more brawn than brain but then he does something completely out of character and proves that the muscle inside his skull gets as much exercise as a certain other one. And Torval…? Let’s just say that, to quote from a certain other Juliet, a tail by any other name probably wouldn’t be as talented.
For lots of fun, some ridiculous situations and even sillier characters, a whole lotta love-making and a darn good story, I wholeheartedly recommend Ragnar and Juliet. Read it and you’ll be glad you did.
Ragnar and Juliet is available from Liquid Silver Books, http://LSbooks.com
This novel was supplied by the publisher and no remuneration was involved in the writing of this review.
I liked it! ‘Nuff said. However, since the word “review” dictates that I give more explanation than that... The whimsical and irreverent stories like this one appeal to me and I enjoyed this one so much, I read it in one sitting. Pick any Sci-fi adventure and this story reads like a satire of it. Juliet’s as independent as they come, brave, and thoroughly happy with her lot. Ragnar occasionally comes across as more brawn than brain but then he does something completely out of character and proves that the muscle inside his skull gets as much exercise as a certain other one. And Torval…? Let’s just say that, to quote from a certain other Juliet, a tail by any other name probably wouldn’t be as talented.
For lots of fun, some ridiculous situations and even sillier characters, a whole lotta love-making and a darn good story, I wholeheartedly recommend Ragnar and Juliet. Read it and you’ll be glad you did.
Ragnar and Juliet is available from Liquid Silver Books, http://LSbooks.com
This novel was supplied by the publisher and no remuneration was involved in the writing of this review.
March 12, 2012
OMG you need to read this book. It's hilariously funny and witty and smart and everything about it is awesome. The characters are super real (the most they can be for aliens), and their interaction was just spot on fun. But on a more serious note, I just wanted there to be more of this book because everything was so well written and made me want to read faster and faster and then I was done and I wanted something else. I couldn't put it down (in the figurative sense because I was reading it on my Kindle for PC, but you get the idea). It's full of internet speak, so if you are not connected with that bastion of technology, you might not find the enjoyment that I did in this book. But even with that, the tone of the novel was something that should not be missed. I wish there was more time to learn more about the characters and how they got started, and I'll be looking out for Lucy Woodhull's future works. Sequel, anyone?
February 5, 2017
Delightfully silly!
If Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Spaceballs had a romance novel baby, it would be this book. Lots of books that use the sort of self-aware humor Lucy does end up skewing past "funny" and landing on "precious" for me, but this book never went there. It was just the thing I needed as an escape from a five-day stretch of flu. And I mean that in the very best way. Pure escapist fun.
If Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Spaceballs had a romance novel baby, it would be this book. Lots of books that use the sort of self-aware humor Lucy does end up skewing past "funny" and landing on "precious" for me, but this book never went there. It was just the thing I needed as an escape from a five-day stretch of flu. And I mean that in the very best way. Pure escapist fun.
Want to read
March 25, 2012The word “Hero” is thrown around a lot these days, but Lucy Woodhull is so amazing I recommend the word be changed to “Woodhull,” as in “That amazing Woodhull dashed into the burning building and rescued the adorable family of cats juggling penguins who lived there.”
October 8, 2011
This book was hot and fun. Kudos to Ms. Woodhull for giving her readers a few hours of lovely entertainment.
September 20, 2011
Fun space romance-y.
November 5, 2011
this was silly and fun read...bad puns and all
August 7, 2014
A really fun read. I've never seen a romance hero with the two particular attributes Ragnar has. Juliet is lots of fun too. I hope there'll be more soon from this writer.
December 13, 2011
SO FUN. must make author my friend.
And watch out for the Star Trek IV line! Cuuute.
And watch out for the Star Trek IV line! Cuuute.
December 17, 2011
I enjoyed this immensely. It's charming and light and funny.
September 30, 2012
A nice, light sci-fi read. Lots of fun. The sequel is great too.
June 7, 2013
So much fun!
January 13, 2015
Fun, action-packed, sexy and able to laugh at itself as well!
November 6, 2012
Clever and funny and silly and smart. A delightful concoction and excellent entertainment.
March 19, 2015
Light and fun space opera adventure/sexy romcom on a spaceship. Just for fun and that's OK.
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews