Jump to ratings and reviews
Rate this book

Squeaky Clean #1

Squeaky Clean

Rate this book
Half the Glasgow polis think DI Alison McCoist is bent. The other half just think she's a fuck-up.

No one thinks very much at all about car wash employee Davey Burnet, until one day he takes the wrong customer's motor for a ride. One kidnapping later, he and the carwash are officially part of Glasgow's criminal underworld, working for a psychopath who enjoys playing games like 'Keep Yer Kneecaps' with any poor bastard who crosses him.

Can Davey escape from the gang's clutches with his kneecaps and life intact? Perhaps this polis Ally McCoist who keeps nosing around the car wash could help. That's if she doesn't get herself killed first.

350 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2023

166 people are currently reading
970 people want to read

About the author

Callum McSorley

24 books58 followers
Callum McSorley is a writer based in Glasgow. His debut thriller, SQEAKY CLEAN, was published to great acclaim in 2023 and went on to win the prestigious McIlvanney Prize for best Scottish Crime Book of the Year. His new novel, PAPERBOY, sees the return of SQUEAKY CLEAN's troubled detective, Alison 'Ally' McCoist, newly promoted but sadly no less despised by her peers.

Ratings & Reviews

What do you think?
Rate this book

Friends & Following

Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!

Community Reviews

5 stars
368 (31%)
4 stars
517 (44%)
3 stars
211 (18%)
2 stars
45 (3%)
1 star
17 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 162 reviews
Profile Image for Iain.
Author 9 books117 followers
December 23, 2024
Gangland Glasgow with a vein of dark humour running through it. A collection of misfits and life's losers - including our nominal hero DI McCoist - stumble their way through the novel failing to avoid any number of disasters and pitfalls. Strong language and strong dialect may not be to everyone's taste but help bring the characters to life - and the ending is a great setup for the soon-to‐be published sequel.
Profile Image for David.
145 reviews34 followers
January 24, 2025
Bleak look into the violent underworld of Glasgow, but expertly woven together with humorous patter and wit. The two central characters are well developed and overflowing with domestic and work related issues. Packed full of glorious Glaswegianness.
Profile Image for Sarah Smith.
Author 1 book31 followers
October 5, 2023
Funny, sharp, clever. An absolute cracker of a debut!
Profile Image for Ross Cumming.
728 reviews23 followers
July 28, 2023
This is Callum McSorley’s debut novel which has already been included on the long list for Bloody Scotland’s 2023 debut prize.
Davey Burnet works at a Glasgow car wash and his life is on a downward spiral. Working in a dead end job, separated from his wife and has limited access to his young daughter but things take an even worse turn when he borrows a local gangsters car with near fatal consequences.
D/I Alison ‘Ally’ McCoist has an unfortunate name for a Glasgow Detective but that’s the least of her troubles, as she also has a botched murder enquiry under her belt. Still attached to the Major Investigations Team but she gets allocated all the low level jobs that are deemed well below her rank. However her enquiries keep leading her back to the local car wash where Davy works and which is now under the control of the gang boss, who also may be the same person responsible for manipulating the evidence in McCoist’s murder case. As McCoist delves deeper in the dealings at the car wash, Davey finds his cleaning skills being utilised for more than just car cleaning. They both find that they and also their families are coming under threat and they must devise a way out of the clutches of the gang before it’s too late.
This novel starts out quite funny and initially lighthearted but it’s not long until the subject matter turns a lot darker. Davey finds himself exposed to the dark underworld dealings of people smuggling, enslaved prostitution, drug dealing, torture and ultimately murder. He does what he has to do to keep himself and his family safe but at the same time is working on an escape plan which he’s not entirely confident in. Alison on the other hand doesn’t know what she’s dealing with and has been warned off by a fellow officer but she thinks that by cracking this case it may be a way of redeeming herself and getting her career back on track. The novel is full of dark Glasgow humour but is also quite violent but it is genuinely thrilling, especially as we race towards the final showdown. I also found the scene where Alison is out walking her dog and suspects she is being followed to be particularly scary and that particular chapter has stayed with me !
As a debut it’s a cracking start for Callum McSorley and I look forward to his future publications.
Profile Image for Natalie Mackay.
242 reviews1 follower
March 14, 2023
I thoroughly enjoyed the story here, however, despite being Scottish, I struggled to understand what was being said most of them time and had to rely heavily on context.

3.5
Profile Image for Joan.
451 reviews19 followers
July 8, 2023
About as Glaswegian as it gets! Pretty good look into the underworld.
Profile Image for Jen.
1,679 reviews62 followers
February 18, 2024
Okay. So I will start by saying that I can totally see why this book won the crime novel of the year award. It is a wonderful piece of Tartan Noir - dark, gritty at times, but with a beautiful streak of dark humour that really kept me entertained and fully invested in the books central characters, the equally unlucky DI Ally McCoist and car wash master, Davey Burnett. This is a Glasgow gangland story, but perhaps not as you know it. It's not quite a turf war, but someone is definitely looking to make things very, very difficult for local crime boss, a legend in his own mind, Paul 'Paulo' McGuinn. Unfortunately for our two hapless heros, they find themselves slap bang in the middle of the whole sorry mess. I say unfortunately, but for Ally, a woman very much on the outside of the Police Scotland family, it could just be the route back to, if not glory, then at least tolerance, that she is looking for.

I don't know quite what I was expecting when I started reading the book, but I really enjoyed it. There is no-one, with perhaps the exception of Davey's friend and former colleague, Tim, who really had any what you might call redeeming qualities, but I enjoyed spending time with them anyway. Well, maybe that's being a little unfair to Davey. He loves his daughter, albeit that his family situation is best described as 'it's complicated'. If it wasn't for his lack of organization, lack of judgment, and the absolute desire to do the best by her, he might not quite have ended up in the mess he eventually winds up in. But there would be no fun for the reader in that. One bad mistake later and Davey, whose only real talent lies in his ability to clean up - cars, crime scenes, there is no end to that talent it seems - is caught between a rock and a hard place, and it is that conflict that drives the heart of the story.

As for Ally McCoist - and yes, that comparison does raise it's head many times - she is not your typical police hero. She's flawed, in all the best and worst ways, has as equally as challenging a home life as Davey and, it seems, just as much trouble on a professional front. She is, apparently, an animal lover - something that causes her a wealth of grief - so not all bad, although her actions on that front are not all virtuous, or legal ... I liked her. She's angry - understandably so at times - but she is determined, and against all the odds, more effective than her superiors believe her to be. I really liked the way in which the author has framed the relationship between our two central characters. They both want to do the right thing, and I do think that there is something they recognise in each other which you know will either be their salvation, or their undoing. You'll have to read the book to find out which.

This is a pretty pacy book, with scenes of real jeopardy, but not as dark as you might be expecting. Yes, Davey finds himself in more than the odd uncomfortable (understatement) predicament, and there are many aspects of the book which are completely objectionable. Paulo is, afterall, a crime boss. He doesn't earn his money from selling ice creams or cappuccinos, and there are very clear reasons why he aligns himself to a car wash and to people with a talent for leaving his motor showroom clean. There is sufficient violence, largely off the page, to establish Paulo as a man who takes no prisoners ... at least not ones who live for long. But for each moment of dark, there is a fraction of light in the banter and humour that Callum McSorley has infused in the story. As for the supporting cast of characters, Car Wash owner Sean, Tim, and Paulo's nephew, Colin, they add colour and texture to the book, wonderfully crafted and believable.

Now, just some advice to my none Scottish friends and followers, Squeaky Clean is very heavy on the Scottish/Glaswegian vernacular. I've spent a lot of time over the border over the years, north to south, east to west, so I like to think myself quite adaptable when it comes to translation of some of the colloquial phraseology, but it did take me a bit of time to find my flow, which meant that it took me longer to read than I expected. My brain, limited as it is, kept trying to translate it into 'English' as I read, slowing me down a touch, and when I just read the words as written, I knew what they meant (and any that I didn't are easily understood when fit into context of the scene), I found it much easier to settle into the book.

Please, whatever you do, do not let that put you off - you'll be missing a treat if you do. Give yourself time, let the narrative take you on a journey, and you will be find everything changes so much. You'll see less of the words themselves, and much more of the sentiment, danger and humour that makes the book a joy to read. I'm looking forward to seeing that the author serves up next.
Profile Image for Len Northfield.
168 reviews5 followers
December 9, 2024
Top notch Glesca Noir. Good story, great characters, proper job. Doesn’t feel remotely like a debut.

Looking forward to his next.
Profile Image for Donna Morfett.
Author 8 books68 followers
January 2, 2024
I was at Bloody Scotland when Callum won the award for this. Unlike the Booker prizes etc, the winners of these awards are 100% going to be great reads.
I will admit that I almost gave up on this though. That's only down to the really heavy Scottish language in parts. I thought I had a fair grasp of some of the phrases, but nope!
However, I figured it was my problem, and the story had me hooked enough that I wanted to go back.
It starts off with the story of Davey who accidentally steals one of Glasgows most notorious crime bosses cars and crashes it, and finds himself in his debt.
Paulo McGuinn and his lazy nephew Colin take over the car wash Davey works at.
Then there is Alison McCoist, cast aside and ignored due to a mistake in her last case, who knows something dodgy is going on at the car wash and won't let it go.
I'm glad I finished this and it ends with a bang. The characters are brilliantly formed, I loved Davey, he wanted to do the right thing. He's one of life's losers, barely getting by.
Despite Paulo being the big bad gangster, it was lazy, arrogant, entitled Colin I disliked most.
There are a couple of little twists and red herrings along the way. You can't guess where it will possibly go next. A great read and I look forward to hearing more from this young man who clearly has a very bright future.
Profile Image for Rhian Eleri.
404 reviews21 followers
March 4, 2023
First of all, this book is written so very well , it's not an easy task making a crime thriller funny!
Don't get me wrong, there's violence and tragedy and all the things you expect in a crime thriller, but somehow, the author manages to bring out the giggles from within haha.

'...less than silence - the sound of five pairs of buttocks clenching tight...' 😆

This is fast and furiously fun story, set mostly in a car wash, in the backstreets of Glasgow.

Working in the car wash is a group of loveable misfits who go about their days dodging the law and causing havoc. Davey is one of these men, and it's not long until he finds himself involved in something he really doesn't need to be! How on earth has he been mixed up in this criminal underground!? Enter our female detective DI Ally MCcoist !

'...wit's the matter wae ye?" Sean asked. "Yer rattlin like skeletons shaggin in a biscuit tin"...'

Ally is a brilliant character, juggling her way through family life and career goals, this case is her making! Or is it!?

The first in a series, I can see DI MCcoist becoming a favorite detective for crime thriller lovers, watch this space.
Profile Image for Tom Ferguson.
177 reviews9 followers
April 5, 2024

Wahoo I didn’t not expect this!
For a first time author this is exceptional.
Violent and dark plot, offset with humour and great characters - Davey is a walking disaster but a good guy at heart.
He navigates the hell of the Glasgow underworld with Kingpin Paulo wreaking havoc all around. Meantime the calamity detective Alison ‘Ally’ McCoist is on the case.
If you are a fan of Christopher Brookmyre then this book is definitely for you.
If you are a fan of the BBCs Line of Duty you will love it.
A deserving winner of the Mcilvaney Award, will be keeping a close eye on Callum McSorley!
Profile Image for Simon Gosden.
841 reviews9 followers
March 24, 2023
A superb piece of Glasge noir. Davey works in a car wash and one day he borrows local gangster Paul McGuinn’s motor and gets kidnapped. The ensuing story is one of violence, intrigue and double cross as DI Ally McCoist tries to make sense of of it all. The use of the local vernacular is perfect. A great story, well told.
356 reviews8 followers
November 2, 2023
The pages turn with ease in this tartan noir crime thriller. Caught in the middle between Glasgow gangsters and the police, carwash cleaner Davey boy must do whatever it takes to stay alive. A staggeringly brilliant debut sprinkled with deadly dark humour.
Profile Image for Doug.
421 reviews3 followers
December 11, 2024
Miserable. Written in “local color” dialect, Scotland, when characters speak, it isn’t Huckleberry Finn.

Claustrophobic due to spending most of the book with miserable characters doing dumb and horrible stuff.

Read half and didn’t like anyone. Life is too short to spend more time here.
Profile Image for Simon Taylor.
Author 3 books28 followers
May 2, 2023
Glssgow's least favourite detective is... barely in it. For the first 100 pages, nothing happens. Then, nothing happens. Some witty banter, but otherwise dull as watching a washed car dry.
Profile Image for Andy Weston.
3,138 reviews223 followers
July 30, 2025
This is McSorley’s debut novel and it went on to win the McIlvanney Prize for Scottish crime novels in 2023.
It’s well done, with well-timed moments of dark humour amidst its dark backbone. As a Glasgow police officer, Detective Inspector Alison McCoist has many obstacles in her path, not least her poor relationship with her superiors. She arrested the wrong man for the murder of a pregnant prostitution, and has only just hung on to job, moved down the ranks.

The car wash which her twin teenagers use, who live with her ex-husband, takes her interest, through a series of believable coincidences, and it isn’t long before she is drawn into the local drug scene and one particularly unpleasant boss.

McSorley’s writing is easy to read, and the personalities of his characters emerge steadily; they comes across as real people who the reader cares about. Key to the plot also, is young Davey, who works at the car wash, s Davey, something of an anti-hero. He has made plenty of mistakes in his life, but is now trying to keep his head down, go to court to obtain visitation rights to see his young daughter and get back on the straight and narrow.
23 reviews
January 16, 2025
Likeable characters doing horrible things, sums up this first novel in a series. The writing is fast-paced and the conversations written as spoken in Scots English, so you do have to pay attention and/or read them aloud initially, as I did, not being from Scotland. Eventually, the rhythm of the conversations come more easily. I liked the ne’er do well protagonist, Davey, who works in a car wash and his sidekick, Tim, and gaffer, Sean. The DCI, Alison McCoist, failed badly on a previous investigation. That, and more back stories, are revealed in bits as the main tale moves along. The author has a knack for authentic dialogue and in creating compelling characters. I look forward to reading the next book in the series (which is excerpted at the end of this novel).
Profile Image for Ross.
Author 4 books57 followers
February 10, 2024
Really enjoyed this. Big cast of characters but all well realised and you won't get them mixed up. Short chapters give it a pacy feel. Blends a lot of perspectives into the overarching plot with ease. Looking forward to the sequel.
Profile Image for Lesley McLean.
240 reviews8 followers
April 17, 2024
Squeaky Clean by @callumrmcsorley

McILVANNEY PRIZE for SCOTTISH CRIME NOVEL OF THE YEAR 2023

I’m not sure how old Callum is, he looks like a boy in his photos (I’m getting old) - and this was his debut novel!!! How?!
Despite my jealousy, I loved Squeaky Clean. It’s funny in the way The Sopranos was - one minute you’re laughing and onside with the characters, the next you realise what you’re laughing at and how bad they actually are.

DI Alison (Ally) McCoist has messed up big time and no one trusts her. Carwash employee Davey Burnet has messed up too, and it’s going to change his life forever.

There’s kidnapping, murder, prostitution… the worst of Glasgow’s underworld. Can Davey escape its clutches? Can Ally put away the psycho at the head of it all? I couldn’t stop turning the pages to find out and can’t wait for the sequel next year.

Thanks to @netgalley for a copy to review in my own words

#SqueakyClean #bookreview #book #fiction #reading #thriller #glasgow #crimefiction #scottishwriting #recommendation
Profile Image for Translator Monkey.
725 reviews17 followers
May 7, 2024
What a book. The Glaswegian dialect slowed me down a bit in the beginning, but it was easy to get used to in no time. Great read.
Profile Image for Lynne Aubrey.
194 reviews3 followers
February 28, 2025
I really thought I would struggle with the broad Glaswegian but after the first chapter it all fell into place.
Laugh out loud humour, dark in places with great characters, really looking forward to reading more from this author. A great debut novel.
Profile Image for Linda.
51 reviews1 follower
June 27, 2025
Tartan noir from Glasgow. Loved the accents and likeable characters. as well as some gangland hoodlums. a good read.
Profile Image for Amy Scott.
35 reviews1 follower
August 14, 2025
Really good! Some scenes are quite heavy but made it seem real. Love the mention of EK of course
Profile Image for Tracey Keir.
113 reviews
February 1, 2025
Brutal. Going to go on to something more fluffy I can read before bedtime!
Profile Image for Lynda.
641 reviews
June 14, 2025
Tough read of the gangland underworld of Glasgow. Undercover police, broad Glasgow dialect, violence, strong language- a hard brutal coarse debut for McSorley.

Introducing female DI Alison McCoist- Ally McCoist… a brand of humour threaded through this…

Not an easy read- full of criminal, harsh, life in the street gutters…. Tough…
Profile Image for Stargazer.
1,735 reviews42 followers
October 1, 2023
Poor Davey-Boy! Would like to read more by this author. If you like dark tartan noir you’ll like this!
Profile Image for Yvonne (It's All About Books).
2,657 reviews313 followers
March 14, 2024

Finished reading: March 14th 2024
DNF at 21% (81 pages)


"Yet another bollocks 'case' to add to her workload of other bollocks cases - her stock-in-trade ever since the Fuck-Up last year. Farmers didn't work with as much fertiliser as DI McCoist did."

*** A copy of this book was kindly provided to me by Netgalley and Pushkin Vertigo in exchange for an honest review. Thank you! ***

Profile Image for Robert Craven.
Author 12 books31 followers
October 12, 2024
Visceral, authentic and simply brilliant.

McSorley's Glasgow is gritty, funny and at times gruesome, but without being gratuitous. Davey Burnet, is slumming it working at a less than honest car wash until one day racing to make a court date about the custody of his daughter he takes the wrong customer's car to make the appointment.

He gets kidnapped, and unwittingly becomes part of Glasgow's criminal underworld, working for a psychopath who in an evening manages his own 'Night of the long knives'. Enter DI Alison McCoist, she's cop on the edge, suspicions about her honesty leave her dealing with the assumed 'Mickey mouse' cases and enters the car wash after cleaning rags with body parts and blood get reported.

A superb read that refuses to bend to cliche and keeps the dialogue in unapologetic Scottish propelling the story along.

think of Irvine Welsh meets Martin Scorcese & you get the idea.
Profile Image for Ryan Williamson.
48 reviews
December 23, 2023
A lot of positive noise around this book and as we all know so many books are built up to be ones you'll remember for the rest of your life but end up ultimately forgettable, I'm happy to say that this is worthy of all the praise it's receiving and more.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 162 reviews

Can't find what you're looking for?

Get help and learn more about the design.