Of All Things

by Robert Benchley

OF ALL THINGS. Originally published in 1921. WHEN, in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Natures God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. We hold these truths to be self-evident, -that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, -That whenever any Form of Government be- comes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are suf- ferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object, evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their own future security. Such has been the patient suf- ferance of these Colonies and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an abso- lute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world. R. C. B. The Rookery Breerning Downs Wippet-cum-Twyne New York City August 24 1921. COntents CHAPTER PAGP I THE SOCIAL LIFE OF THE NEWT . . 3 I1 COFFEE, MEGG AND ILK, PLEASE 10 I11 WHEN GENIUS REMAINED YOUB HUMBLE SERVANT . . . . . 18 IV THE TORTURES OF WEEK-END VISIT- I N G . . . . . ., . . . 32 V GARDENING NOTES . . ., . V1 LESSONNUMBERONE .. L 43 . . . . 5. V11 THOUGHTS ON FUEL SAVING . . . 65 V111 NOT ACCORDING TO HOE . . . 77 IX FROM NINE TO FIVE . ., . . . 89 X TURNING OVER A NEW LEDGER LEAP 102 XI A PIECE OF ROAST BEEF . . . . 110 XI1 THE COMMUNITY MASQUE AS A SUB- STITUTE FOR WAR . . . . 121 XI11 CALL FOR MR. KENWORTHY . . X30 XIV FOOTBALL COURTESY OF MR. MORSE 142 XV A LITTLE DEBIT IN YOUR TONNEAU 153 XVI A ROMANCE IN ENCYCLOPBDIA LAND 161 XVII THE PASSING OF THE ORTHODOX PARADOX . . .. . . 168 ix X CONTENTS CHAPTEE PAGE EXPLAINED . . . 175 XVIII SHAKESPEARE XIX Tm SCIENTIFIC SCENARIO . . . 180 XX Tm MOST POPUL BOOK OF TBE MONTH ., . . . . . 187 AFTERNOON . . . . 193 XXI CHRISTMAS XXII m, VERNAL EQUINOX . . . 200 TABLOID EDITI

Genres: Humor, Essays, Nonfiction, Classics

234 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2000

About the author

Works, including How to Sleep , the film of 1935, and My Ten Years in a Quandary , the book of 1936, of Robert Charles Benchley, humorist, critic, and actor, often pitted an average American against the complexities of modern life.

People best knew Robert Charles Benchley as a newspaper columnist. He began at the Lampoon and meanwhile attended Harvard University and wrote many essays and articles for Vanity Fair and The New Yorker.
From New York City and his peers at the Algonquin Round Table, short style brought acclaim, respect, and success to Benchley to contemporaries in the burgeoning industry.

Benchley contributed best remembered influential topical or absurdist essays to The New Yorker. He also made a name in Hollywood, when his popular success won best short subject at the academy awards of 1935, and his many memorable appearances in such as Foreign Correspondent of Alfred Joseph Hitchcock and a dramatic turn in Nice Girl? . He wrote his legacy in numerous short appearances.

Reviews

[Amanda]

I've enjoyed Robert Benchley's humor, since I first got interested, in the members of The Algonquin Round Table. His shorts from the 30's are very amusing and are a lot of fun to watch. I ran across this book, at my local bookstore. I have read many stories, from the other members, but never Benchley, until now.

I enjoyed many of the stories that is in this collection, Benchley's voice comes through all of them. But sadly, do to so many years since it's publishing, the book is close to a 100 years old. Some of the stories are battered by time. But I still, found something enjoyable from each story.

[Michael Malice]

WASP "humor." If you like jokes about furnaces, bridge and Yale, this is for you.

[Cynthia Egbert]

It was worth reading this book just to be reminded of how far we have come in the past 90 years. And the author's dry sense of humor was delightful. My favorite chapter was "The Scientific Scenario". He has nice skills with satire.

[Steve Shilstone]

Not only was Benchley a humorist of note, he was a humorist of the entire scale and then some.

[Amy]

Very funny and wonderful reads. Silly but poignant!

[Michael]

I don't believe I had ever heard of Robert Benchley before reading this, though I've since learned more about him (such as that he's the grandfather of the author of Jaws) and watched one of his short films (How to Sleep, which is available for free on YouTube). I think I saw his name on a list of authors to read if you like P.G. Wodehouse, so Donald and I gave this freebie a try between other books.

It's been months since we finished it, but I think my impression was that it was amusing in spots, but that it felt more dated and less funny than Cuppy's How to Be a Hermit. Cuppy's book is the more recent of the two—published in 1929, while these essays by Benchley were published in 1921—but the choice of subject matter make the more recent one feel fresher and more relevant (to me) than a mere eight years' difference should make.

For example, one of these essays relates the process of college football fans gathering to listen to the progress of a game being played at a distant stadium. But because this was before radio broadcasts of sporting events, the events of the game were communicated via telegraph, with an announcer relaying the play-by-play. There's a great deal of confusion and mistakes, and the whole thing feels bizarre and far-removed from the modern experience. (Some of the essays are less severely dated than this, but this one stands out in my memory more than most of the others.)

Anyway, it's been too long since reading it for me to make many more comments. I'd consider reading more of the author's work.

[Sterlingcindysu]

Time for a short freebie for Kindle from Amazon. I'm always amazed at how well his writing and choice of topics have held up over 100 years. (Well, sad to say, the essay about the phone book will not be relevant soon.) How many of us still try to catch the bartender's attention at a crowded bar? There's even an essay on "fuel savings" but the fuel is coal, not gas.

I just finished reading Untold Power: The Fascinating Rise and Complex Legacy of First Lady Edith Wilson, and Benchley makes some comments about the League of Nations here.

Can you imagine reading on a ticker tape what was happening in a football game?

I looked it up, Horace W. Furnace did *not* invent the furnace.

[Joseph Teller]

Time is not kind...

Most of the material in this book has none of its humorous edge, too much is period refers to things long past to the point of forgotten. Unless you are reading it purely from historical curiosity its probably not worth the effort.

[Glasdow Teacosy]

Fantastic read. Not every essay was a winner, and many of the pop cultural references from the 1920s were obscure, but Benchley’s writing when focused on people was witty, biting, and truthful. The best humor usually is.

[Ronald J.]

I picked this up because Dave Barry said Benchley was one of his favorite humor authors. I didn't think the stories here were very humorous, more charming really.

[Lucy]

Too lightweight for 5 stars, but some very amusing stuff in this collection. It makes a good bedside book for dipping into.

[Cookie M.]

Not the best of Benchley's writings, but still amusing.

[Ci]

In the same light-as-souffle genre of P.G. Wodehouse and some writings of E.B. White, this book is very light-hearted. The major problem is that the topics are very aged -- most of the household appliances he mentioned would be a mystery to modern reading -- and some of his opinions may now be considered prejudicial. This book is the product of a bygone time with all its flavor and oddities and charms preserved in these aged pages.

[Cayenne]

Bob Benchley is very much the Dave Barry of the 1920's. Very funny, but pretty silly too. I laughed out loud a lot, but I didn't finish all the articles. Some of them were about topics I couldn't relate to--like coal burning furnaces. I still got the gist, but it wasn't as funny. About halfway through my fickle brain was ready to move onto another book.

[Carl]

I get the impression that some people don't understand that this book is written as satire.

If you want a very good example of dry American humor from the early 20th century (1920s..1940s), read this book. If you are familiar with Robert Benchly's work in short films, you'll hear his voice coming through as you read.

[David Allen]

Benchley's first collection has its moments, starting with the dedication to the inventor of "the Bessemer steel converter" and continuing through the preface, which merely reproduces the Declaration of Independence, but most of what follows is lesser Benchley, light but rarely outright funny. He hadn't hit his stride and there's no use pretending.

[Jennifer Booth]

Funny and light!

Mr. Benchley is an easy read that tickles the over tickled mind even by today's so-called smart and sophisticated set of writers that uses way too many bad words to get their point across!