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Italy and Italians
An Italian Education
Tim Parks' first bestseller, "Italian Neighbors," chronicled his initiation into Italian society and cultural life. Reviewers everywhere hailed it as a bravissimo performance. Now he turns to his children -- born and bred in Italy -- and their milieu in a small village near Verona. With the splendid eye for detail, character, and intrigue that has brought him acclaim as a novelist, he creates a fascinating portrait of Italian family life, at school, at home, in church, and in the countryside. This panoramic journey winds up with a deliciously seductive evocation of an Italian beach holiday that epitomizes everything that is quintessentially Italian. Here is an insider's Italy, re-created by "one of the most gifted writers of his generation" (Jonathan Yardley, "The Washington Post")
352 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1995
290 people are currently reading
2786 people want to read
About the author
Tim Parks
121 books586 followersBorn in Manchester in 1954, Tim Parks grew up in London and studied at Cambridge and Harvard. In 1981 he moved to Italy where he has lived ever since, raising a family of three children. He has written fourteen novels including Europa (shortlisted for the Booker prize), Destiny, Cleaver, and most recently In Extremis.
During the nineties he wrote two, personal and highly popular accounts of his life in northern Italy, Italian Neighbours and An Italian Education. These were complemented in 2002 by A Season with Verona, a grand overview of Italian life as seen through the passion of football. Other non-fiction works include a history of the Medici bank in 15th century Florence, Medici Money and a memoir on health, illness and meditation, Teach Us to Sit Still. In 2013 Tim published his most recent non-fiction work on Italy, Italian Ways, on and off the rails from Milan to Palermo.
Aside from his own writing, Tim has translated works by Moravia, Calvino, Calasso, Machiavelli and Leopardi; his critical book, Translating Style is considered a classic in its field. He is presently working on a translation of Cesare Pavese's masterpiece, The Moon and the Bonfires.
A regular contributor to the New York Review of Books and the London Review of Books, his many essays are collected in Hell and Back, The Fighter, A Literary Tour of Italy, and Life and Work.
Over the last five years he has been publishing a series of blogs on writing, reading, translation and the like in the New York Review online. These have recently been collected in Where I am Reading From and Pen in Hand.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 123 reviews
September 10, 2019
There is nothing as eye opening as bringing up your children abroad. Your children, who obviously are your flesh and blood, and who, by an assumed definition should in large part become like you, slowly and inevitably grow up to assume an identity that is not like yours...
Children adopt the ways of both their parents obviously, but also the ways of their teachers, carers, people from TV, friends and neighbours, and whereas grown-ups choose which of the new ways suit them, children become them instead, in ways that a grownups never could…. This is a main theme of ”Italian education”. Tim Parks, is an Englishman who sets up a family in italy. He is well integrated in the italian society, he commands the language, works as a translator, his wife is Italian, and he lives an italian lifestyle, and still he watches the process with something of an amazement. With an admirable self-distance and a sense of humor he keeps asking himself - when did they become italian? At what point exactly did the transformation take place? What events, and whose influence made them into the individuals that they became?
For me, who had done just that - built a family in another country - the process is fascinating. My son brought up in Sweden is Swedish. I, having lived here for 25 years am not, really.... You might think that it is naive of me to have expected anything else, and yet, I can not help being surprised. As I guess is Tim Parker. I admire his power of observation and balanced way of seeing the italian world around him. I know that living in another country is not always easy. Loving it, obviously helps, but only some of the local customs are admirable or lovely, some you accept reluctantly, and some are inevitably silly, annoying, or completely unacceptable. And all of them, regardless of what you think of them, will become a part of the starter-kit, that your child will be equipped with for life….
So yes, it is complicated however you look at it, but at the same time, it is also a perfect opportunity to create the most true picture of Italy. It is true, because it is not one-sided like a view of a tourist who is never really exposed to the local ways, and it is not too forgiving, as it tends to be in the eyes of a ”local”, instead it is carefully observed and noted, weighed and analysed, against the need of a parent to give his children all the best in life.
My sincere admiration and thanks to Mr Parker for this truest picture of a country I am a bit in love with myself, but that I will never be able to see, from this point of view.
Children adopt the ways of both their parents obviously, but also the ways of their teachers, carers, people from TV, friends and neighbours, and whereas grown-ups choose which of the new ways suit them, children become them instead, in ways that a grownups never could…. This is a main theme of ”Italian education”. Tim Parks, is an Englishman who sets up a family in italy. He is well integrated in the italian society, he commands the language, works as a translator, his wife is Italian, and he lives an italian lifestyle, and still he watches the process with something of an amazement. With an admirable self-distance and a sense of humor he keeps asking himself - when did they become italian? At what point exactly did the transformation take place? What events, and whose influence made them into the individuals that they became?
For me, who had done just that - built a family in another country - the process is fascinating. My son brought up in Sweden is Swedish. I, having lived here for 25 years am not, really.... You might think that it is naive of me to have expected anything else, and yet, I can not help being surprised. As I guess is Tim Parker. I admire his power of observation and balanced way of seeing the italian world around him. I know that living in another country is not always easy. Loving it, obviously helps, but only some of the local customs are admirable or lovely, some you accept reluctantly, and some are inevitably silly, annoying, or completely unacceptable. And all of them, regardless of what you think of them, will become a part of the starter-kit, that your child will be equipped with for life….
So yes, it is complicated however you look at it, but at the same time, it is also a perfect opportunity to create the most true picture of Italy. It is true, because it is not one-sided like a view of a tourist who is never really exposed to the local ways, and it is not too forgiving, as it tends to be in the eyes of a ”local”, instead it is carefully observed and noted, weighed and analysed, against the need of a parent to give his children all the best in life.
My sincere admiration and thanks to Mr Parker for this truest picture of a country I am a bit in love with myself, but that I will never be able to see, from this point of view.
December 8, 2015
When Parks is at his best you'll be truly whisked into his hot, hilarious, frustrating, delicious, lost in translation Italian world. Following on from his Italian Neighbors, here he covers parenthood as he and his wife raise two kids, Michele and Stefi, in a town near Verona.
As in the previous book we get lots of sketches of village life, flora, fauna and other characters like his new neighbors, the insurance salesman and his in-laws. There's also a fair amount of pointing out Italian foibles (and worse), similar territory to that covered in Hooper's The Italians, but Parks takes a topic like sexism or religion and shows how it's woven into life. But it's generally good natured and he also takes time to savor what makes Italy great, food and drink obviously, less obviously a place where "Never is it easier to be oneself and relaxed about it than when you know exactly what is expected of you." It's also a very funny book, I laughed a lot more than with Italian Neighbors, and his kids' antics especially were rendered with perfect comedic timing. I think anyone raising kids, and especially dads, will get a kick out of this book.
Finally, it's also an ode to the language Parks has adopted and his kids received as part of their Italian education (along with a bit of dialect Diobon!). It's filled with Italian words and phrases that you might never come across in your guidebook but you'll be itching to use on your next visit or what the hell -facciamo le corna—why not right now, out loud, in your living room or on the F train? And of course (since Parks also moonlights as a translator) he faithfully translates everything so you will learn that segheria means sawmill, a tartarughina is a baby turtle and the endlessly useful sai com’è? means well... you know how it is?
As in the previous book we get lots of sketches of village life, flora, fauna and other characters like his new neighbors, the insurance salesman and his in-laws. There's also a fair amount of pointing out Italian foibles (and worse), similar territory to that covered in Hooper's The Italians, but Parks takes a topic like sexism or religion and shows how it's woven into life. But it's generally good natured and he also takes time to savor what makes Italy great, food and drink obviously, less obviously a place where "Never is it easier to be oneself and relaxed about it than when you know exactly what is expected of you." It's also a very funny book, I laughed a lot more than with Italian Neighbors, and his kids' antics especially were rendered with perfect comedic timing. I think anyone raising kids, and especially dads, will get a kick out of this book.
Finally, it's also an ode to the language Parks has adopted and his kids received as part of their Italian education (along with a bit of dialect Diobon!). It's filled with Italian words and phrases that you might never come across in your guidebook but you'll be itching to use on your next visit or what the hell -facciamo le corna—why not right now, out loud, in your living room or on the F train? And of course (since Parks also moonlights as a translator) he faithfully translates everything so you will learn that segheria means sawmill, a tartarughina is a baby turtle and the endlessly useful sai com’è? means well... you know how it is?
February 7, 2016
Italian lullabies, like "Ninna Nonna, Ninna O / Questo bimbo, a chi lo do?" Nap my gramma, nap OH, This baby, to whom shall I give? Or Italian recipes, rather imaginative ones (111). Wonderful on Italian contradictions: the assumption that all workers are shiftless, whereas all thieves are most efficient, competent. Then, public speaking, always read off cards or prompters: no merit here to speaking or thinking on one's feet. However great Italians perform in private, they plod in public. Proudly. (Doubtless the effect of plodding schooling, I add, having watched my grandkids grow in Milan. Latin and Greek at classical public HS: 160 forms of the Greek verb. Any real translation? No. )
So much Italian education, for a century, has emphasized orthodox ideas expressed in extravagant, exhortatory, prideful tone. The same in 1915 women's textbooks, 1938 fascist eulogy, and in 1996, Gino d'Arezzo's poem on the New Man.
Many Italian cultural mysteries enter into this book, usually through the author's ironic lens. Medusa. The Certificato di verginità, etc. I have quoted Tim Parks whenever I joined a discussion of English Composition as a Department Chair, or nationally: In the 30's in Italy, the criterion of judging "good composition" was, How well does the student praise Mussolini? (One priest in Treviso I think, just praised M on the 70th anniversary of his death. That priest was hoping for a promotion--in the 30's.)
The point is: English Composition has always been judged by extraneous criteria.
Parks's It Ed is revealing, and well told.
By the way, Tim Parks just delivered the Traverso Italian Studies lecture at SUNY-New Paltz that I gave in 2013, on my usual current subject, Giordano Bruno.
So much Italian education, for a century, has emphasized orthodox ideas expressed in extravagant, exhortatory, prideful tone. The same in 1915 women's textbooks, 1938 fascist eulogy, and in 1996, Gino d'Arezzo's poem on the New Man.
Many Italian cultural mysteries enter into this book, usually through the author's ironic lens. Medusa. The Certificato di verginità, etc. I have quoted Tim Parks whenever I joined a discussion of English Composition as a Department Chair, or nationally: In the 30's in Italy, the criterion of judging "good composition" was, How well does the student praise Mussolini? (One priest in Treviso I think, just praised M on the 70th anniversary of his death. That priest was hoping for a promotion--in the 30's.)
The point is: English Composition has always been judged by extraneous criteria.
Parks's It Ed is revealing, and well told.
By the way, Tim Parks just delivered the Traverso Italian Studies lecture at SUNY-New Paltz that I gave in 2013, on my usual current subject, Giordano Bruno.
March 8, 2021
I'm behind in reading and in recording what I've been doing. For a few comments on this book, which I liked a lot: https://alittleteaalittlechat.wordpre...
March 23, 2017
Nothing great - not bad.
I'd say it feels accurate enough, if one keeps in mind that the events took place in 1982 or so. It seems likely that Parks would make some things a little more colourful (also he apparently didn't meet one normal person in the whole town?) but the characters he describes can be found in Italy and his musings about politics, contradictions and bureaucracy are correct as far as I know. So if you're not Italian and you want to find out about everyday life (in general, not the one you would find in 2017) this is a valid book. (Not incredibly meaningful though, hence my vote.)
If you're Italian and you're curious about what your country would look like from a foreigner's point of view, this book will only give you a rather confusing answer.
The point is: Parks clearly writes for his British readers. He expects them to share his point of view about what's normal and what's weird, so that he doesn't really explain why certain things are so amusing to him.
The result for me was that, while he certainly criticizes things that deserve to be criticized (and in his astonishment for the very existence of some of those things, many Italians would find great relief), he doesn't actually seem to like anything. He correctly describes the cons but he doesn't seem to find any pros. What he doesn't criticize, he examines in an amused, condescending way. I was surprised to find out that having a tidy/nice house is somehow ridiculous - British people don't care so much about it. They don't care about graveyards or gardens or cars, either. Italians are very, maybe too much concerned about the appearance of things. Okay: I've read this argument before. So it's probably true: what I consider a standard and normal concern for order could be perceived as excessive in other countries. This is the kind of insight I wanted, but I was surprised again when he mockingly described the rural conditions of certain areas, or seemed to criticize the state in which their favourite pond was kept, and so on. There must be something I'm missing. There probably is a middle ground Italians don't get - maybe only British do?
He writes about the charming countryside (ruined by factories, of course) and the refreshingly naive life of the town (ignorant and rural, of course) and he also seems to love his breakfast. But all in all, there's not much left to like, apparently. He doesn't like the nearby city, Vicenza, too consumistic and crowded from what I gather - he doesn't seem to care for art or history, which is good, we have enough books about that. But he's also amused by the habits and the lifestyle, the food, the relationships... He's certainly entitled to be, I'm only puzzled at what made him appreciate his life there, because there is nothing in this book of what I hold as the pros of living in Italy.
I'd say it feels accurate enough, if one keeps in mind that the events took place in 1982 or so. It seems likely that Parks would make some things a little more colourful (also he apparently didn't meet one normal person in the whole town?) but the characters he describes can be found in Italy and his musings about politics, contradictions and bureaucracy are correct as far as I know. So if you're not Italian and you want to find out about everyday life (in general, not the one you would find in 2017) this is a valid book. (Not incredibly meaningful though, hence my vote.)
If you're Italian and you're curious about what your country would look like from a foreigner's point of view, this book will only give you a rather confusing answer.
The point is: Parks clearly writes for his British readers. He expects them to share his point of view about what's normal and what's weird, so that he doesn't really explain why certain things are so amusing to him.
The result for me was that, while he certainly criticizes things that deserve to be criticized (and in his astonishment for the very existence of some of those things, many Italians would find great relief), he doesn't actually seem to like anything. He correctly describes the cons but he doesn't seem to find any pros. What he doesn't criticize, he examines in an amused, condescending way. I was surprised to find out that having a tidy/nice house is somehow ridiculous - British people don't care so much about it. They don't care about graveyards or gardens or cars, either. Italians are very, maybe too much concerned about the appearance of things. Okay: I've read this argument before. So it's probably true: what I consider a standard and normal concern for order could be perceived as excessive in other countries. This is the kind of insight I wanted, but I was surprised again when he mockingly described the rural conditions of certain areas, or seemed to criticize the state in which their favourite pond was kept, and so on. There must be something I'm missing. There probably is a middle ground Italians don't get - maybe only British do?
He writes about the charming countryside (ruined by factories, of course) and the refreshingly naive life of the town (ignorant and rural, of course) and he also seems to love his breakfast. But all in all, there's not much left to like, apparently. He doesn't like the nearby city, Vicenza, too consumistic and crowded from what I gather - he doesn't seem to care for art or history, which is good, we have enough books about that. But he's also amused by the habits and the lifestyle, the food, the relationships... He's certainly entitled to be, I'm only puzzled at what made him appreciate his life there, because there is nothing in this book of what I hold as the pros of living in Italy.
August 1, 2018
As a fellow Brit who has spent some time living in Italy, married and Italian and raised bilingual kids a lot of this is familiar to me. I’m not sure how it would come across to anyone not in a similar situation. It’s a bit too long, and I could have done without the couple of chapters offering close textual analysis of Italian lullabies. There’s also the danger, as always with this kind of book, that the observations are relevant to a specific time and place, and that Italians from other regions, or of more recent generations, may beg to differ. However a lot of it is spot on, such as the parents’ paradoxical combination of ‘health and safety’ paranoia and letting the kids get away with whatever they want and spoiling them rotten. Or maybe that’s not so specifically Italian any more...?
October 24, 2020
I got this book from a secondhand bookshop in Bologna back in 2019 and had been reading it for one year across 4-5 different cities, on buses, on planes and at my family home in Azerbaijan. So, you might say it was one of these books that one gets accustomed to and misses when he does not read but also does not want to read and finish because it would mean saying goodbye to its world. I guess I had this feeling because I was a foreigner in Italy and Italian Education helped me make sense of this new environment and showed me that I am not alone in my baffled state with this peculiar and beautiful culture... Goes straight to the favorites section of my newly emerging bookshelf in this country.
November 27, 2011
Wasn't a big fan of this book. Yes it had its good points but for the most part it was boring.
April 28, 2012
I thoroughly enjoyed this book, but will say two things...I had already read the author's previous book, Italian Neighbours..in which he and his italian wife buy a flat in a village, and come up against/ make friends with a cast of characters who I instantly I fell in love with. And right at the beginning of this book he talks about childhood experiences of visiting the seaside in Blackpool, which happens to be my home town; so as far as I am concerned Tim Parks can do no wrong...!
In this volume the Parks family starts to expand and the author encounters some interesting cultural differences between his British upbringing, and the Italian approach to child-rearing. He learns about the school system,the function of grandparents in Italy,the importance of 'la Mamma'..... and sees how his own children are becoming thoroughly Italian..
For a few hours at least I immersed myself in all things italian..a great antidote to the rain outside my english window..
In this volume the Parks family starts to expand and the author encounters some interesting cultural differences between his British upbringing, and the Italian approach to child-rearing. He learns about the school system,the function of grandparents in Italy,the importance of 'la Mamma'..... and sees how his own children are becoming thoroughly Italian..
For a few hours at least I immersed myself in all things italian..a great antidote to the rain outside my english window..
April 10, 2010
I read this in lieu of Italian Neighbors (a book club pick), which my library does not have. Inexpicably, they did have this book, which is the sequel.
I expected a travelogue, along the lines of "A Year in Provence". This book was much better. It is the 7 year story of an Englishman and his Italian wife raising their children in Italy. It involves the education of Tim Parks in all ways Italian, as well as the education of his two children, Michele and Sofi. It was like being a fly on the wall of their home, their trips to the beach, their outings and their visits with grandparents. I learned much about the culture of the Italian people and how they raise their children, from an author who did not grow up Italian, and it was very entertaining. Humorous. Well-woven. Recommended.
P.S. I had no need to read the first book to thoroughly enjoy the second one.
I expected a travelogue, along the lines of "A Year in Provence". This book was much better. It is the 7 year story of an Englishman and his Italian wife raising their children in Italy. It involves the education of Tim Parks in all ways Italian, as well as the education of his two children, Michele and Sofi. It was like being a fly on the wall of their home, their trips to the beach, their outings and their visits with grandparents. I learned much about the culture of the Italian people and how they raise their children, from an author who did not grow up Italian, and it was very entertaining. Humorous. Well-woven. Recommended.
P.S. I had no need to read the first book to thoroughly enjoy the second one.
June 10, 2017
An absolutely phenomenal portrayal of Italian lifestyle, mentality and society. As an Italian who has lived in the U.K for over 6 years now, I have laughed and reflected on everything Tim Parks raises in this collection of essays, which I have dipped in and out of during these busy months. I have also thoroughly enjoyed his out-take and literal translation of Italian nursery rhymes, proverbs, and swear words; in light of recent global events, seeing yourself through the eyes of a foreigner is a valuable experience.
June 8, 2019
Basically boring. Didn't like it the first time and it didn't improve for me when I was rereading it before heading to Italy. Skimmed through for hints.
November 22, 2019
3.5, ok, 3.49, not enough for 4 stars... By the way, it's like reading about my school days back in the early 90s. I read this book few years ago, but once again I've been surprised how similar Italian and Polish upbringings are. Or shall I say "were, 30 years ago"? I know that Poland is currently going backwards as far as the influence of church on every single aspect of life is concerned, I don't think Italians are following the same path. But although the two nations might've gone separate ways in terms of church's impact on the society, the role of mother in children's life may be that one thing that still unites Polish and Italian people. Or that's my gut feeling. It would be interesting to read about Italian and Polish education and childhood as they are now, to see what's changed, if anything...
September 21, 2023
Parks sets out to understand what makes Italians Italian - how do they develop the cultural traits of his adopted countrymen - by writing about childhood. He starts with the positive pregnancy test heralding the birth of his second child, a daughter, and takes us through infancy, il nido (nursery), and later schooling, including religious education. “Catholicism is still the default setting for those without preference in a supremely hedonistic Italy.”
We learn why Italian children, especially boys, are usually singletons; how one actually finances a house in Italy (it’s all about tax avoidance); and the profound influence four doting grandparents have on childcare. The latter probably explains why rest stops on the autostradas feature many stacks of extravagant toys, in addition to snacks.
Parks calls his essays on Italian life, as seen by a non-native resident, “ironic anthropology.” I do like the tone of the writing, which points out ludicrous aspects of Italian life while coming across as accepting, even affectionate.
We learn why Italian children, especially boys, are usually singletons; how one actually finances a house in Italy (it’s all about tax avoidance); and the profound influence four doting grandparents have on childcare. The latter probably explains why rest stops on the autostradas feature many stacks of extravagant toys, in addition to snacks.
Parks calls his essays on Italian life, as seen by a non-native resident, “ironic anthropology.” I do like the tone of the writing, which points out ludicrous aspects of Italian life while coming across as accepting, even affectionate.
September 18, 2020
Published in 1995. I read it for the first time soon after and have just read it again. Though some details of Italian life have no doubt changed, this book has, in my opinion, stood the test of time. It is by turn touching, frustrating and funny as Tim Parks, married to an Italian and living in Verona, becomes a father of two -- waiting, at the end of the book for their third child to be born -- and describes his journey into Italianness as he not only continues adapting to his life in a different culture but, watching his children develop, knows that they are becoming more Italian than English. Their memories of their childhood will never be like his memories of his -- a kind of loss or him but one that he accepts and, in some way is even grateful for.
It is a very funny book, a good read as well as dealing with serious ideas. The last chapter (save it or last as it is a culmination of all that has gone before) is the apotheosis of Italianness -- the good, the bad and the glorious.
It is a very funny book, a good read as well as dealing with serious ideas. The last chapter (save it or last as it is a culmination of all that has gone before) is the apotheosis of Italianness -- the good, the bad and the glorious.
November 8, 2021
First I should add that the book (or at least this version) was 388 pages long and not 338. And as a non-native speaker, the language did challenge me at times (though this is not a criticism in any way and a completely personal note). But I still loved it! The main question of the book is about what makes Italians Italian, and/or how they become "Italian" growing up. The author teaches you things about the people and the culture that you can't possibly see or hear as a tourist. The book is not a love letter to Italy, but a very amusing, compassionate and sometimes quite philosophical observation on Italians: a lively, loving and warm people who surely know how to enjoy life.
December 8, 2019
An interesting and often humorous portrayal of life in Italy. As an Italian, I could relate to many of the quirks, social situations, and settings that Parks details throughout.
I do however believe that you’d have to be either an Italian fluent in English or someone who has lived in Italy for a long time, to “get” and fully appreciate this book. I can’t see an Italian language student who has only been to Italy once or the fifty-year-old reader who has always wanted to visit Italy to enjoy this and understand or relate to everything described here. But fair play to Parks (who is primarily a translator of Italian books into English, and a professor in translations studies) for trying.
It’s worth mentioning that this book is an accurate portrayal of what living in Italy could be like for some. The book is set for the most part in Montecchio Maggiore, a town currently with a population of 23,000 that is in the north-east of Italy. Had Parks lived in Tuscany, or Rome, or Bologna, or Turin, or Napoli, or Sicily, or anywhere else in Italy, I am certain this could have been, in some parts, a much different book.
This book is also a reminder that parenting is really difficult - whether you are living in Italy or anywhere else in the world.
I do however believe that you’d have to be either an Italian fluent in English or someone who has lived in Italy for a long time, to “get” and fully appreciate this book. I can’t see an Italian language student who has only been to Italy once or the fifty-year-old reader who has always wanted to visit Italy to enjoy this and understand or relate to everything described here. But fair play to Parks (who is primarily a translator of Italian books into English, and a professor in translations studies) for trying.
It’s worth mentioning that this book is an accurate portrayal of what living in Italy could be like for some. The book is set for the most part in Montecchio Maggiore, a town currently with a population of 23,000 that is in the north-east of Italy. Had Parks lived in Tuscany, or Rome, or Bologna, or Turin, or Napoli, or Sicily, or anywhere else in Italy, I am certain this could have been, in some parts, a much different book.
This book is also a reminder that parenting is really difficult - whether you are living in Italy or anywhere else in the world.
September 22, 2013
There wasn't much to this book. Nothing that really captured the heart or imagination. Just a rambling series of stories that barely hang together.
I think what bothers me the most about this book is the attitude the author has toward Italy. He looks down on the people and the culture and I see very little love of the place. I guess I have to wonder if you feel so negatively about the place why the hell do you write about it.
If you are so smug about Italy, move back to England and sit in your grey little country choking down tasteless steak and kidney pies. Italy can get along very nicely without you, thank you very much.
I think what bothers me the most about this book is the attitude the author has toward Italy. He looks down on the people and the culture and I see very little love of the place. I guess I have to wonder if you feel so negatively about the place why the hell do you write about it.
If you are so smug about Italy, move back to England and sit in your grey little country choking down tasteless steak and kidney pies. Italy can get along very nicely without you, thank you very much.
March 31, 2008
This book was an interesting and enjoyable read, although there is an undertone of smug criticism of Italy and Italians throughout the book-- a bit odd since the author is married to an Italian and has lived in Italy for a decade or two. I guess he's a bit like a teenage boy with a big crush that he can't quite seem to admit to, so he criticizes his beloved instead. At any rate, if you are interested in reading a reasonable and well-written (if a little self-indulgent) account of what it is like to live in Italy, or at least a small town in the Veneto, this book is a good place to start.
September 27, 2013
Very enjoyable book by Tim Parks about what it's like to raise children in Italy. Parks paints a vibrant picture of Italian life in all its mundanity and glory, contrasting it at times to his own childhood in England.
I've already ordered his other two books about living in Italy. I very much enjoyed his voice.
I've already ordered his other two books about living in Italy. I very much enjoyed his voice.
November 10, 2012
hard going, droll and lacklustre writing
October 15, 2021
Memoir set mainly in VERONA
Tim Parks’ books were some of the first we added to the TripFiction website when we started out, so it felt like time to revisit some of these old friends, having read them so many years ago.
I spent a very pleasant few days reading Tim Parks’ book set in Verona and other parts of Italy, to wit Pescara and the Alto Adige. He is a supremely skilled and informative writer, observing the nuances of Italians and their way of life with colourful aplomb.
This is the story of the early days of family life, working out how a Brit can possibly cleave his way through the complexity of Italian bureaucracy and manners. He offers detailed cultural observations both from the Italian point of view, mixing them with the objectivity that only a foreigner can have. He and his wife find an apartment in a modern complex in Montecchio and have to grapple with all the concomitant issues that arise, make friends and integrate into local life (including the discovery of someone camping out in the basement).
The couple has small children, who need parenting and schooling and he ponders the nature of the grandparent/grandchild relationship, which is so fundamental to Italian culture – and regrets that they have only one set of grandparents on hand to help with child rearing (or spoiling, given the amount of caramelli (sweets) a typical grandparent might dish out. He notes how the children, with an Italian and a British parent will assimilate elements from both cultures and just integrate them into their lives, which is beautiful to see.
There is a lot of Italian sprinkled throughout the text and right from the get-go he reflects on the inclusion of multiple “foreign” words in his writing and he says “Our experience of another country is also an experience of its language..“. By easing his readers into the wonders of the Italian language, he is inviting them to become part of the Italian family. It will work for many, for some it may not. As a point of reference, we had a discussion not so long ago about the optimal use of foreign languages and phrases “When Does the Use of Foreign Language Phrases and Words feel too much“.
This is set in the 1990s, before the Euro took over from the Lira and when it was still ok for an author to have his head obviously turned by a woman’s shapely leg or to refer to his neighbours as “a chubbily pleasant…couple” or to a cashier as “plumply pale” beneath the blackest jet curls 😉. That notwithstanding, he writes beautifully and conjures up a recognisable Italy and populates his narrative with wonderfully credible characters. Charming and interesting and a pleasure to read. And I just love the cover design!
Tim Parks’ books were some of the first we added to the TripFiction website when we started out, so it felt like time to revisit some of these old friends, having read them so many years ago.
I spent a very pleasant few days reading Tim Parks’ book set in Verona and other parts of Italy, to wit Pescara and the Alto Adige. He is a supremely skilled and informative writer, observing the nuances of Italians and their way of life with colourful aplomb.
This is the story of the early days of family life, working out how a Brit can possibly cleave his way through the complexity of Italian bureaucracy and manners. He offers detailed cultural observations both from the Italian point of view, mixing them with the objectivity that only a foreigner can have. He and his wife find an apartment in a modern complex in Montecchio and have to grapple with all the concomitant issues that arise, make friends and integrate into local life (including the discovery of someone camping out in the basement).
The couple has small children, who need parenting and schooling and he ponders the nature of the grandparent/grandchild relationship, which is so fundamental to Italian culture – and regrets that they have only one set of grandparents on hand to help with child rearing (or spoiling, given the amount of caramelli (sweets) a typical grandparent might dish out. He notes how the children, with an Italian and a British parent will assimilate elements from both cultures and just integrate them into their lives, which is beautiful to see.
There is a lot of Italian sprinkled throughout the text and right from the get-go he reflects on the inclusion of multiple “foreign” words in his writing and he says “Our experience of another country is also an experience of its language..“. By easing his readers into the wonders of the Italian language, he is inviting them to become part of the Italian family. It will work for many, for some it may not. As a point of reference, we had a discussion not so long ago about the optimal use of foreign languages and phrases “When Does the Use of Foreign Language Phrases and Words feel too much“.
This is set in the 1990s, before the Euro took over from the Lira and when it was still ok for an author to have his head obviously turned by a woman’s shapely leg or to refer to his neighbours as “a chubbily pleasant…couple” or to a cashier as “plumply pale” beneath the blackest jet curls 😉. That notwithstanding, he writes beautifully and conjures up a recognisable Italy and populates his narrative with wonderfully credible characters. Charming and interesting and a pleasure to read. And I just love the cover design!
August 2, 2018
A nice and easy summer read which will make you laugh and reflect on what’s an italian way of bringing up kids. Maybe a bit dated but still fun (and bittersweet) to read.
August 21, 2023
A delight to the very end; portrait of Italian life as told by a father observing his children be children.
December 26, 2024
4+ stars. Simply delightful. I laughed out loud often. I now want to go to Pescara!
November 23, 2024
This book is a delight even on a second reading, but so many things have changed in Italy since the early nineties that an updated edition would only add to the delight.
November 27, 2020
Il più bel paese del mondo per non crescere mai!
Di Tim Parks avevo già letto, anni fa, il bellissimo “Italiani”: il racconto autobiografico di un inglese che viene a vivere in Italia, avendo sposatoun’italiana, e si trova quindi ad aver a che fare con un mondo diversissimo da quello di provenienza, sul quale, come capita spesso ai “viaggiatori stanziali” inglesi (si veda anche “Un anno in Provenza” di Peter Mayle) getta uno sguardo antropologico divertito, a metà tra il rispetto della cultura “altra” e delle sue differenze dalla propria, e la consapevolezza comunque di far parte di un altro mondo (magari anche un po’ superiore e migliore…) Il difetto di qesto tipo di racconti è ovvio: far derivare il generale dal particolare. Un po’ come quelli che vanno tre giorni a Parigi e poi tornano a casa dicendo “i francesi sono tutti stronzi”, senza sapere che tra un parigino e un francese non parigino passa pressappoco la differenza che c’è tra un sioux e un maori. E’ anche vero che la prolungata permanenza in Italia consente di andare un po’ più a fondo delle cose, e anche - questo sì - disvelare platealmente verità di cui noi non ci accorgiamo più, o non ce ne siamo mai accorti, per il semplice moltivo che le abbiamo sempre avute sotto gli occhi. Una, ad esempio, è quella che a me pare ovvia, ma che fa andare in bestia molte persone pure intelligenti che tuttavia si rifiutano di ammetterla: la pesante influenza che la cultura cattolica ha avuto sull’etica e la morale. Il generale atteggiamento assolutorio, o più spesso autoassolutorio, consapevole che non esiste peccato (o colpa) che non possa essere perdonato, cosa che quindi comporta una drastica riduzione di senso della responsabilità, che è invece il cardine della cultura protestante, sia nella sua declinazione tedesca che inglese. Un’altra, l’idea che - nonostante un welfare che non si avvicina nemmeno lontanamente ai livelli di quello inglese, nonostante gli sconquassi della Thatcher e di Blair - lo stato in qualche misura debba essere un’entità protettiva e tutelante, dalla quale ci si aspetta tutto ma verso la quale si nutrono a volte anche sentimenti di insofferenza e di esasperazione. Pensa un po’, proprio come per la mamma, altro cardine della cultura italiana: la mamma e la famiglia, entità dalle quali non ci si allontana praticamente mai, e che si sostanziano nell’abitudine (che, come ben descritto in questo libro con riferimento alla famiglia della moglie di Parks, diventa anche pretesa) che i genitori comprino casa ai figli (guai a pensare di vivere in affitto a tempo indeterminato), o che le nonne facciano da baby-sitter ai nipoti; in sostanza, la loro vita deve essere in qualche modo strutturata in funzione della famiglia ben oltre la maggiore età dei figli. Mi viene in mente un simpatico blog sul quale ogni tanto mi soffermo, https://lastejan.wordpress.com, tenuto da Stefania, una ragazza di Genova che ha sposato un austriaco ed è andata a vivere a Klagenfurt. Alla poveretta, proveniente da una famiglia “allargata” piena di zie e di cugini, non è mai andato giù il fatto che i genitori di suo marito non abbiano mai nemmeno lontanamente preso in considerazione l’idea di “fare i nonni” e quindi mettersi al totale servizio dei nipoti, piuttosto che partire quando gli gira per viaggi che durano anche mesi, senza alcun riguardo per il fatto che questi viaggi coprano anche il fondamentale periodo delle feste natalizie… L’idea che essere (stati) padre o madre non significhi automaticamente continuare ad esserlo per tutta la vita e rinunciare ad una vita propria, non passa nemmeno lontanamente per la testa di Stefania (persona comunque, mi preme dirlo, simpatica e divertente nonostante certi eccessi di “italianità” che evidentemente la provincia austriaca tende a rinfocolare). Altri aspetti interessanti colti da Parks: il fatto che per gli italiani non esiste l’idea di svolgere qualsiasi attività - artistica o sportiva, ad esempio - a livelli che non siano altissimi, cosa che li obbliga o a faticare come bestie in associazioni sportive inevitabilmente orientate all’agonismo, o a rinunciare del tutto con conseguenti frustrazioni. Lo stesso discorso vale anche ad esempio per la musica: per esperienza so che il sistema educativo musicale italiano è orientato ad essere una potenziale fabbrica di grandi concertisti, peccato solo che le possibilità naturali di diventarlo siano pochissime e quindi esso spesso produce solo alienati e delusi, mentre le persone che vorrebbero semplicemente divertirsi con la musica si trovano sistematicamente davanti porte chiuse… la conseguenza per Parks, la moglie e i figli - tutti desiderosi di imparare a suonacchiare il pianoforte - è quella di faticare non poco a trovare un insegnante che abbia voglia, tempo e disponibilità di dare loro un’educazione musicale divertente e senza la pretesa di diventare dei Benedetti Michelangeli. Altra scoperta di Parks: dietro le spalle gli italiani dicono sistematicamente peste e corna gli uni degli altri, tanto in famiglia che fuori. Salvo, davanti, sorridersi e abbracciarsi… La cosa a lui sembra positiva e divertente, quasi che sparlare dietro le spalle sia più un gioco che una realtà, a me - che conosco bene questo tipo di atteggiamenti - decisamente ipocrita (insomma: per lui prevale il volersi bene. Per me, il volersi male). Infine, lo stupore dell’autore nei confronti dell’edilizia italiana (e qui bisogna dirlo: al netto di speculazioni edilizie e di disastri ambientali, una delle migliori del mondo) nonché sull’ossessione italica per l’igiene e la pulizia. Le case sempre curatissime, ricche di rivestimenti pregiati e - pensa un po’ - con i tubi che passano dentro i muri. Certo, considerata la trascuratezza di molte case inglesi e non solo, la cosa può fare effetto. E Parks, probabilmente per decenza, tace sul trauma che deve aver avuto la prima volta che ha visto un bidet... Quindi un libro bellissimo per scoprire come siamo, nel bene e nel male, che si chiude con le memorabili parole del suocero di Parks, che cerca strenuamente di difendere il diritto ad avere una propria vita rispetto alle pretese dei figli (non la moglie dell’autore, ma i di lei fratelli): “L’Italia è il più bel paese del mondo per crescere”, lo punzecchio. Portando alle labbra il cucchiaino colmo di schiuma fragrante, le briciole della seconda brioche sul mento, mio suocero mi corregge prontamente con un sorriso radioso: “Il più bel paese del mondo”, dice, “per non crescere mai!”
Di Tim Parks avevo già letto, anni fa, il bellissimo “Italiani”: il racconto autobiografico di un inglese che viene a vivere in Italia, avendo sposatoun’italiana, e si trova quindi ad aver a che fare con un mondo diversissimo da quello di provenienza, sul quale, come capita spesso ai “viaggiatori stanziali” inglesi (si veda anche “Un anno in Provenza” di Peter Mayle) getta uno sguardo antropologico divertito, a metà tra il rispetto della cultura “altra” e delle sue differenze dalla propria, e la consapevolezza comunque di far parte di un altro mondo (magari anche un po’ superiore e migliore…) Il difetto di qesto tipo di racconti è ovvio: far derivare il generale dal particolare. Un po’ come quelli che vanno tre giorni a Parigi e poi tornano a casa dicendo “i francesi sono tutti stronzi”, senza sapere che tra un parigino e un francese non parigino passa pressappoco la differenza che c’è tra un sioux e un maori. E’ anche vero che la prolungata permanenza in Italia consente di andare un po’ più a fondo delle cose, e anche - questo sì - disvelare platealmente verità di cui noi non ci accorgiamo più, o non ce ne siamo mai accorti, per il semplice moltivo che le abbiamo sempre avute sotto gli occhi. Una, ad esempio, è quella che a me pare ovvia, ma che fa andare in bestia molte persone pure intelligenti che tuttavia si rifiutano di ammetterla: la pesante influenza che la cultura cattolica ha avuto sull’etica e la morale. Il generale atteggiamento assolutorio, o più spesso autoassolutorio, consapevole che non esiste peccato (o colpa) che non possa essere perdonato, cosa che quindi comporta una drastica riduzione di senso della responsabilità, che è invece il cardine della cultura protestante, sia nella sua declinazione tedesca che inglese. Un’altra, l’idea che - nonostante un welfare che non si avvicina nemmeno lontanamente ai livelli di quello inglese, nonostante gli sconquassi della Thatcher e di Blair - lo stato in qualche misura debba essere un’entità protettiva e tutelante, dalla quale ci si aspetta tutto ma verso la quale si nutrono a volte anche sentimenti di insofferenza e di esasperazione. Pensa un po’, proprio come per la mamma, altro cardine della cultura italiana: la mamma e la famiglia, entità dalle quali non ci si allontana praticamente mai, e che si sostanziano nell’abitudine (che, come ben descritto in questo libro con riferimento alla famiglia della moglie di Parks, diventa anche pretesa) che i genitori comprino casa ai figli (guai a pensare di vivere in affitto a tempo indeterminato), o che le nonne facciano da baby-sitter ai nipoti; in sostanza, la loro vita deve essere in qualche modo strutturata in funzione della famiglia ben oltre la maggiore età dei figli. Mi viene in mente un simpatico blog sul quale ogni tanto mi soffermo, https://lastejan.wordpress.com, tenuto da Stefania, una ragazza di Genova che ha sposato un austriaco ed è andata a vivere a Klagenfurt. Alla poveretta, proveniente da una famiglia “allargata” piena di zie e di cugini, non è mai andato giù il fatto che i genitori di suo marito non abbiano mai nemmeno lontanamente preso in considerazione l’idea di “fare i nonni” e quindi mettersi al totale servizio dei nipoti, piuttosto che partire quando gli gira per viaggi che durano anche mesi, senza alcun riguardo per il fatto che questi viaggi coprano anche il fondamentale periodo delle feste natalizie… L’idea che essere (stati) padre o madre non significhi automaticamente continuare ad esserlo per tutta la vita e rinunciare ad una vita propria, non passa nemmeno lontanamente per la testa di Stefania (persona comunque, mi preme dirlo, simpatica e divertente nonostante certi eccessi di “italianità” che evidentemente la provincia austriaca tende a rinfocolare). Altri aspetti interessanti colti da Parks: il fatto che per gli italiani non esiste l’idea di svolgere qualsiasi attività - artistica o sportiva, ad esempio - a livelli che non siano altissimi, cosa che li obbliga o a faticare come bestie in associazioni sportive inevitabilmente orientate all’agonismo, o a rinunciare del tutto con conseguenti frustrazioni. Lo stesso discorso vale anche ad esempio per la musica: per esperienza so che il sistema educativo musicale italiano è orientato ad essere una potenziale fabbrica di grandi concertisti, peccato solo che le possibilità naturali di diventarlo siano pochissime e quindi esso spesso produce solo alienati e delusi, mentre le persone che vorrebbero semplicemente divertirsi con la musica si trovano sistematicamente davanti porte chiuse… la conseguenza per Parks, la moglie e i figli - tutti desiderosi di imparare a suonacchiare il pianoforte - è quella di faticare non poco a trovare un insegnante che abbia voglia, tempo e disponibilità di dare loro un’educazione musicale divertente e senza la pretesa di diventare dei Benedetti Michelangeli. Altra scoperta di Parks: dietro le spalle gli italiani dicono sistematicamente peste e corna gli uni degli altri, tanto in famiglia che fuori. Salvo, davanti, sorridersi e abbracciarsi… La cosa a lui sembra positiva e divertente, quasi che sparlare dietro le spalle sia più un gioco che una realtà, a me - che conosco bene questo tipo di atteggiamenti - decisamente ipocrita (insomma: per lui prevale il volersi bene. Per me, il volersi male). Infine, lo stupore dell’autore nei confronti dell’edilizia italiana (e qui bisogna dirlo: al netto di speculazioni edilizie e di disastri ambientali, una delle migliori del mondo) nonché sull’ossessione italica per l’igiene e la pulizia. Le case sempre curatissime, ricche di rivestimenti pregiati e - pensa un po’ - con i tubi che passano dentro i muri. Certo, considerata la trascuratezza di molte case inglesi e non solo, la cosa può fare effetto. E Parks, probabilmente per decenza, tace sul trauma che deve aver avuto la prima volta che ha visto un bidet... Quindi un libro bellissimo per scoprire come siamo, nel bene e nel male, che si chiude con le memorabili parole del suocero di Parks, che cerca strenuamente di difendere il diritto ad avere una propria vita rispetto alle pretese dei figli (non la moglie dell’autore, ma i di lei fratelli): “L’Italia è il più bel paese del mondo per crescere”, lo punzecchio. Portando alle labbra il cucchiaino colmo di schiuma fragrante, le briciole della seconda brioche sul mento, mio suocero mi corregge prontamente con un sorriso radioso: “Il più bel paese del mondo”, dice, “per non crescere mai!”
March 12, 2009
I Love, Love, Love, Love, Love this book! I enjoy the way the author describes the people he encounters and the culture he experiences! I catch myself laughing out loud in recognition of a situation or understanding of a particular situation in a far away land, or just at the situation itself.
Tim Parks, otherwise known as Meester Teem, takes the reader on the journey of raising children in Italy, asks of himself "when do children become Italian" while evaluating the socialization of his own children, and reveals that every day he, too, is learning to become Italian.
'Faciamo le corna' is my favorite chapter so far. \m/ \m/
Tim Parks, otherwise known as Meester Teem, takes the reader on the journey of raising children in Italy, asks of himself "when do children become Italian" while evaluating the socialization of his own children, and reveals that every day he, too, is learning to become Italian.
'Faciamo le corna' is my favorite chapter so far. \m/ \m/
July 13, 2017
The two stars are genuinely for "it was ok" not "I didn't like it." Often insightful, but I feel like the author's sense of humor hasn't aged well at all, and it feels very dated for a book that I believe came out in the 90s. The author often seems to fall into the common trap of mistaking nastiness for wit.
October 20, 2019
I didn't flat out love this as much as I loved "Italian Neighbors" and the one about the trains. But I did really enjoy it - his writing is fantastic, hilarious, detailed, and spot-on about Italian life and Italians themselves.
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