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Surviving a Shark Attack (on Land): Overcoming Betrayal and Dealing with Revenge
With her trademark no-nonsense approach, New York Times bestselling author Dr. Laura Schlessinger gives her readers the emotional defenses they need to overcome the worst life will throw at them, whether it's a cheating spouse, a lying sibling, or a ruthless colleague. Author and renowned radio host Dr. Laura has helped countless men and women become better husbands, wives, parents, and people. She's helped them cope with grief; shown them how to handle adversity; and set them on the path to understanding and living happy, well-adjusted lives. In Surviving a Shark Attack (on Land) she turns to an emotionally explosive subject that has touched all our betrayal and the desire for revenge. And for the first time, she shares her own personal experiences with betrayal, humiliation, and pain, connecting with her readers as never before and putting this important subject into context. In this powerful and thought-provoking book, Dr. Laura offers readers the perceptive, common-sense insight they need to live healthier, better lives.
224 pages, Paperback
First published December 29, 2010
108 people are currently reading
184 people want to read
About the author
Laura Schlessinger
64 books253 followersLaura Catherine Schlessinger (born January 16, 1947) is an American talk radio host, socially conservative commentator and author. Her radio program consists mainly of her responses to callers' requests for personal advice and has occasionally featured her short monologues on social and political topics. Her website says that her show "preaches, teaches, and nags about morals, values and ethics".
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 62 reviews
February 1, 2023
“You will be betrayed. … Now what? Being betrayed was not in your control. Now what is in your control?”
I adore Dr. Laura, and have been a fan for probably close to three decade. I read one of her books before I got married. Then after I got married, and living in Southern California, my husband he kept encouraging me to listen to her. I never knew that she had a radio show. Well, it didn’t take long for me to be hooked. Those were my Dr. Laura years. Several months later, we drove up to meet her, and she was as sweet and as kind as can be. Although envy isn’t a good thing, I’ve always joked that I envy her wisdom, wit, and metabolism. Her wisdom is what I enjoy the most. Years went by, and I stopped listening to her. We moved out of the U.S. It was hard to access her show. Life got busy, and I had far too many obligations and excuses. Well, recently, my husband got me a gift to listen to her on streaming, and now I listen whenever I want, and I’m loving it once again. I’ve read most of her books, and plan on re-reading, and/or reading the others. There are many who don’t care for her style, which can sometimes come off as abrasive and harsh. As with everyone, I am not going to agree with her on everything. There are some issues that I strongly disagree with. No matter. I feel that I’m still benefiting and learning something. This book specifically is for those who are dealing betrayal and hurt.
Here are some of my favorite quotes:
Action Plan
“It is your inner world that is of greatest significance. What you do with the pain you’ve been caused is the qualifying event for the Olympic trial of your life. ‘Even if the cards are massively stacked against you, every minute of depression equals sixty seconds of inaction.’
It is natural to spend some time in shock. After all, the reaction to a trauma, physical or emotional, is immediate shock, disbelief, and a horrid awareness of what you just lost. That’s normal and natural. I’ve often said that I permit myself the few days of whining, self-pity, and being pathetic that it takes to get to the next phase—which is an action plan.
Action plans are best made after the philosophical statement is made in your own head. An example of such is a closing line in the movie Ever After, when Danielle (Drew Barrymore) tells her stepmother, ‘After today, I will forget you and never think of you again; but you, I am quite sure, will think of me every day for the rest of your life.’ ‘Cinderella’ then goes on to live a happy, healthy, and prosperous life with the man of her dreams. The point is that people who set out to do you evil are generally obsessed and will, even if they can’t cause any more damage, think about you forever because you are the ‘fish that got away.’ You have to disconnect and come up with an action plan to continue your life in forward gear.”
Being Overly Trusting
“Trusting everybody is foolish and opens you up to becoming a victim. Such naïveté is not charming, sweet, advisable, or smart. Being willing to put aside your dearest hopes, dreams, and knee-jerk emotional needs to take the time to assess a problematic relationship at an earlier stage is an important aspect to having a good life. Usually one of the first questions I ask when people call me with their relationship concerns is, ‘When did you first notice this behavior?’ First, a lot of people lie because they’re embarrassed that they ignored Vesuvius erupting from day one. Second, they try to minimize by saying, ‘Well, it wasn’t so bad.’ Third, they attempt to sound magnanimous by saying, ‘Well, I wanted to give him/her the time to change.’ Ultimately the true answer is, ‘I wanted this/him/her to just be the right thing/person for me so bad that I just rushed forward.’ And the result is usually a betrayal, as the person or situation in question has not been appropriately vetted. This turns out to be coconspiracy of betrayal; in part, you brought it upon yourself.”
“People are unpredictable, not transparent.”
Betrayals are Commonplace
“No matter what type of person you are, there are really bad people out there who are ready to disrupt your world and well-being to a magnitude you never imagined. If you don’t know or believe that, you are dangerously naive. If you believe that all the people out there are
bad, you are dangerously paranoid. In between those two extremes is the truth of the sad nature of human beings with which we must all contend: betrayals are commonplace.”
“I don’t know anyone who has worked in a group who hasn’t complained that someone went behind his back to complain about something or other he was supposed to have said or done—all to advance the complainer’s own
position in the organization. Frighteningly, this is also true of religious groups. Of the more than one thousand e-mails I got commenting on the subject matter of this book, an inordinately high number were complaining about situations regarding their church! You’d think that people who are in a religious community would walk the prayers, but people tend to be people no matter where they are—considerations of God or charity do not deflect the individual who wishes to be on the top of that heap.”
Blood should not be Thicker than Principle
“… there are things that are simply right to do, and there are things that are wrong to do. While people may argue the rightness and wrongness of any particular issue, my best way of making someone admit to something’s wrongness is to have them imagine that thing done to them. Suddenly then it all becomes clear. There actually were people arguing in print in the mainstream press that it was wrong for the brother of the Unabomber to have turned his brother in because he betrayed ‘blood.’ While that is very Mafia-like in its romanticizing of so-called family loyalty, the brother did not betray what was right: protecting the lives of others by having his murderous brother apprehended. Blood should never be thicker than morality.
I bet if the naysayers knew that the next target of the Unabomber was themselves or their children, they would suddenly ‘get’ that values and ideals are more important.”
Chasing a Man
“… chasing a man is unappealing to him. What a man doesn’t have to work toward or fight for, he generally doesn’t respect or value.”
Differing Feelings
“… we have to remove our tender feelings each time somebody else has feelings to the contrary of what we’d hoped. They are allowed to feel how they do, just as you are allowed your own set of feelings. It doesn’t mean one is right or wrong, just different.”
Forgiveness
“I believe that forgiveness—in the sense of excusing—requires repentance. Repentance includes the four R’s: 1. (true) Remorse 2. (taking) Responsibility 3. (efforts to) Repair 4. (avoid) Repeating When someone takes these four steps to heart, I believe it is quite possible to forgive and possibly have the option of reconciliation.”
“You are not a bad person if you don’t forgive—because … some things are just not forgivable. Not pardoning or excusing does not mean that you can’t let go. You can most definitely not give the betrayer any quarter, nor those supporting him or her, and still just let go. When I work with some people on my radio program, I give them one of several images to help them with the process of letting go without pardoning or excusing the betrayer’s wrongdoing, if that is not possible. One image is to put all their anger, hurt, resentment, and vengeful feelings in balloons—with their qualities the same as helium. Now I have them imagine letting these balloons go to float ever away, one by one, until they are left in peace in the lovely sunshine of a new day. Generally, people are heard to cry softly and then sigh deeply – physical evidence of an emotional burden being lifted off their shoulders. You can also think of burying all those horrible feelings in a box in your backyard, or writing a letter to that betrayer and then burning it in your fireplace and letting the smoke of the whole situation waft up the chimney, diffusing into oblivion. Whichever image or technique most works for you, this ritual of letting go works when you are ready to move on. And move on you must, because, as I said earlier, to press the ‘pause’ button on your life by staying stuck in rage and hurt is to become complicit with your betrayer in destroying your life.”
Gossip
“Do not gossip with people. If they’ll do it with you, they’ll do it to you too! Let me repeat that: if they’ll do it with you, they’ll do it to you. This is the ugly part of what-goes-around-comes-around.”
Groups of People
“… the only reason all groups of people have asses is that the decent people keep them around.”
Hate
“Unfortunately, some people get stuck in not wanting to let go of the dream of devastating their betrayer. It becomes an obsession. Why? Because it is easier to hate than move on—simple as that. Hate requires nothing but rehashing the story and stoking the fire to keep the flame of rage alive. It is hating instead of living. From my point of view, that is tantamount to becoming your own betrayer.”
“The moon is not bothered by the baying of wolves.”
“… my vengeance is that she is consumed with hurting me—and I no longer give her a moment’s thought. She is stuck with herself—and I’m no longer stuck with her in any way that counts. Cool.”
Possessiveness
“Possessiveness comes from insecurity. I always tell those who are insecure that the best way to become secure in a relationship is by becoming the kind of person they themselves would always love to have in their lives.”
Revenge
“To quote Dick Armey, ‘You cannot get ahead while you are getting even.’ So, while I still adore the concept of revenge, I’d rather have a nice day.”
“You don’t do sweet and hardworking to change the hearts of the grinches. You do sweet and hardworking to salvage your own life and inner being.
In fact, neither sweet and hardworking nor tearing yourself up inside typically will have any real impact on the perpetrator of the dastardly deeds. The prolonged desire for revenge and justice will just make you crazy inside. You might philosophically lean on the hope, which often comes true, that the universe has a way of equalizing all things. Bad things do not just happen to good people—bad things happen to all people.”
“I still love the concept of revenge—and always will. I just love the concept of enjoying my life more.”
Staying Immersed
“The greatest source of misunderstanding for a large percentage of betrayed people is that when they stay immersed in their unhappiness about being betrayed, they in turn betray all the wonderful people who love and stand by them. Husbands and wives who spend their time depressed and anxious about their problems with a betrayer rob their families of the love and attention they would be giving them if they were not so focused on the betrayer. Imagine digging through dirt trying to find an Oreo cookie because you are starving . . . ignoring the three-course meal on the table. That is laughable, isn’t it? Well, it’s not so laughable to the people who really love you, and see you constantly fussing over that one dirty cookie when
they are there to offer you a veritable feast of love.”
“… no precious lifetime should be spent looking back on manure once the flowers bloom.”
“Do not press the ‘pause’ button on your life by festering with anger and feelings of vengeance; all we each have is time, so fill it well.”
We Choose
“My life consists of what I allow into it, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.”
“While we can’t control the world, we do have control over our actions and decisions. We choose our path; we choose our responses; we choose to stay in the character we would most respect.”
“Either stand up for yourself—or move on.”
“Turning your back and walking away is not an act of weakness—unless you keep slinking back. Walking away is a great act of strength, conviction, good sense, and a commitment not to let anyone bad or negative be the architect of the rest of your life.”
I adore Dr. Laura, and have been a fan for probably close to three decade. I read one of her books before I got married. Then after I got married, and living in Southern California, my husband he kept encouraging me to listen to her. I never knew that she had a radio show. Well, it didn’t take long for me to be hooked. Those were my Dr. Laura years. Several months later, we drove up to meet her, and she was as sweet and as kind as can be. Although envy isn’t a good thing, I’ve always joked that I envy her wisdom, wit, and metabolism. Her wisdom is what I enjoy the most. Years went by, and I stopped listening to her. We moved out of the U.S. It was hard to access her show. Life got busy, and I had far too many obligations and excuses. Well, recently, my husband got me a gift to listen to her on streaming, and now I listen whenever I want, and I’m loving it once again. I’ve read most of her books, and plan on re-reading, and/or reading the others. There are many who don’t care for her style, which can sometimes come off as abrasive and harsh. As with everyone, I am not going to agree with her on everything. There are some issues that I strongly disagree with. No matter. I feel that I’m still benefiting and learning something. This book specifically is for those who are dealing betrayal and hurt.
Here are some of my favorite quotes:
Action Plan
“It is your inner world that is of greatest significance. What you do with the pain you’ve been caused is the qualifying event for the Olympic trial of your life. ‘Even if the cards are massively stacked against you, every minute of depression equals sixty seconds of inaction.’
It is natural to spend some time in shock. After all, the reaction to a trauma, physical or emotional, is immediate shock, disbelief, and a horrid awareness of what you just lost. That’s normal and natural. I’ve often said that I permit myself the few days of whining, self-pity, and being pathetic that it takes to get to the next phase—which is an action plan.
Action plans are best made after the philosophical statement is made in your own head. An example of such is a closing line in the movie Ever After, when Danielle (Drew Barrymore) tells her stepmother, ‘After today, I will forget you and never think of you again; but you, I am quite sure, will think of me every day for the rest of your life.’ ‘Cinderella’ then goes on to live a happy, healthy, and prosperous life with the man of her dreams. The point is that people who set out to do you evil are generally obsessed and will, even if they can’t cause any more damage, think about you forever because you are the ‘fish that got away.’ You have to disconnect and come up with an action plan to continue your life in forward gear.”
Being Overly Trusting
“Trusting everybody is foolish and opens you up to becoming a victim. Such naïveté is not charming, sweet, advisable, or smart. Being willing to put aside your dearest hopes, dreams, and knee-jerk emotional needs to take the time to assess a problematic relationship at an earlier stage is an important aspect to having a good life. Usually one of the first questions I ask when people call me with their relationship concerns is, ‘When did you first notice this behavior?’ First, a lot of people lie because they’re embarrassed that they ignored Vesuvius erupting from day one. Second, they try to minimize by saying, ‘Well, it wasn’t so bad.’ Third, they attempt to sound magnanimous by saying, ‘Well, I wanted to give him/her the time to change.’ Ultimately the true answer is, ‘I wanted this/him/her to just be the right thing/person for me so bad that I just rushed forward.’ And the result is usually a betrayal, as the person or situation in question has not been appropriately vetted. This turns out to be coconspiracy of betrayal; in part, you brought it upon yourself.”
“People are unpredictable, not transparent.”
Betrayals are Commonplace
“No matter what type of person you are, there are really bad people out there who are ready to disrupt your world and well-being to a magnitude you never imagined. If you don’t know or believe that, you are dangerously naive. If you believe that all the people out there are
bad, you are dangerously paranoid. In between those two extremes is the truth of the sad nature of human beings with which we must all contend: betrayals are commonplace.”
“I don’t know anyone who has worked in a group who hasn’t complained that someone went behind his back to complain about something or other he was supposed to have said or done—all to advance the complainer’s own
position in the organization. Frighteningly, this is also true of religious groups. Of the more than one thousand e-mails I got commenting on the subject matter of this book, an inordinately high number were complaining about situations regarding their church! You’d think that people who are in a religious community would walk the prayers, but people tend to be people no matter where they are—considerations of God or charity do not deflect the individual who wishes to be on the top of that heap.”
Blood should not be Thicker than Principle
“… there are things that are simply right to do, and there are things that are wrong to do. While people may argue the rightness and wrongness of any particular issue, my best way of making someone admit to something’s wrongness is to have them imagine that thing done to them. Suddenly then it all becomes clear. There actually were people arguing in print in the mainstream press that it was wrong for the brother of the Unabomber to have turned his brother in because he betrayed ‘blood.’ While that is very Mafia-like in its romanticizing of so-called family loyalty, the brother did not betray what was right: protecting the lives of others by having his murderous brother apprehended. Blood should never be thicker than morality.
I bet if the naysayers knew that the next target of the Unabomber was themselves or their children, they would suddenly ‘get’ that values and ideals are more important.”
Chasing a Man
“… chasing a man is unappealing to him. What a man doesn’t have to work toward or fight for, he generally doesn’t respect or value.”
Differing Feelings
“… we have to remove our tender feelings each time somebody else has feelings to the contrary of what we’d hoped. They are allowed to feel how they do, just as you are allowed your own set of feelings. It doesn’t mean one is right or wrong, just different.”
Forgiveness
“I believe that forgiveness—in the sense of excusing—requires repentance. Repentance includes the four R’s: 1. (true) Remorse 2. (taking) Responsibility 3. (efforts to) Repair 4. (avoid) Repeating When someone takes these four steps to heart, I believe it is quite possible to forgive and possibly have the option of reconciliation.”
“You are not a bad person if you don’t forgive—because … some things are just not forgivable. Not pardoning or excusing does not mean that you can’t let go. You can most definitely not give the betrayer any quarter, nor those supporting him or her, and still just let go. When I work with some people on my radio program, I give them one of several images to help them with the process of letting go without pardoning or excusing the betrayer’s wrongdoing, if that is not possible. One image is to put all their anger, hurt, resentment, and vengeful feelings in balloons—with their qualities the same as helium. Now I have them imagine letting these balloons go to float ever away, one by one, until they are left in peace in the lovely sunshine of a new day. Generally, people are heard to cry softly and then sigh deeply – physical evidence of an emotional burden being lifted off their shoulders. You can also think of burying all those horrible feelings in a box in your backyard, or writing a letter to that betrayer and then burning it in your fireplace and letting the smoke of the whole situation waft up the chimney, diffusing into oblivion. Whichever image or technique most works for you, this ritual of letting go works when you are ready to move on. And move on you must, because, as I said earlier, to press the ‘pause’ button on your life by staying stuck in rage and hurt is to become complicit with your betrayer in destroying your life.”
Gossip
“Do not gossip with people. If they’ll do it with you, they’ll do it to you too! Let me repeat that: if they’ll do it with you, they’ll do it to you. This is the ugly part of what-goes-around-comes-around.”
Groups of People
“… the only reason all groups of people have asses is that the decent people keep them around.”
Hate
“Unfortunately, some people get stuck in not wanting to let go of the dream of devastating their betrayer. It becomes an obsession. Why? Because it is easier to hate than move on—simple as that. Hate requires nothing but rehashing the story and stoking the fire to keep the flame of rage alive. It is hating instead of living. From my point of view, that is tantamount to becoming your own betrayer.”
“The moon is not bothered by the baying of wolves.”
“… my vengeance is that she is consumed with hurting me—and I no longer give her a moment’s thought. She is stuck with herself—and I’m no longer stuck with her in any way that counts. Cool.”
Possessiveness
“Possessiveness comes from insecurity. I always tell those who are insecure that the best way to become secure in a relationship is by becoming the kind of person they themselves would always love to have in their lives.”
Revenge
“To quote Dick Armey, ‘You cannot get ahead while you are getting even.’ So, while I still adore the concept of revenge, I’d rather have a nice day.”
“You don’t do sweet and hardworking to change the hearts of the grinches. You do sweet and hardworking to salvage your own life and inner being.
In fact, neither sweet and hardworking nor tearing yourself up inside typically will have any real impact on the perpetrator of the dastardly deeds. The prolonged desire for revenge and justice will just make you crazy inside. You might philosophically lean on the hope, which often comes true, that the universe has a way of equalizing all things. Bad things do not just happen to good people—bad things happen to all people.”
“I still love the concept of revenge—and always will. I just love the concept of enjoying my life more.”
Staying Immersed
“The greatest source of misunderstanding for a large percentage of betrayed people is that when they stay immersed in their unhappiness about being betrayed, they in turn betray all the wonderful people who love and stand by them. Husbands and wives who spend their time depressed and anxious about their problems with a betrayer rob their families of the love and attention they would be giving them if they were not so focused on the betrayer. Imagine digging through dirt trying to find an Oreo cookie because you are starving . . . ignoring the three-course meal on the table. That is laughable, isn’t it? Well, it’s not so laughable to the people who really love you, and see you constantly fussing over that one dirty cookie when
they are there to offer you a veritable feast of love.”
“… no precious lifetime should be spent looking back on manure once the flowers bloom.”
“Do not press the ‘pause’ button on your life by festering with anger and feelings of vengeance; all we each have is time, so fill it well.”
We Choose
“My life consists of what I allow into it, physically, spiritually, and emotionally.”
“While we can’t control the world, we do have control over our actions and decisions. We choose our path; we choose our responses; we choose to stay in the character we would most respect.”
“Either stand up for yourself—or move on.”
“Turning your back and walking away is not an act of weakness—unless you keep slinking back. Walking away is a great act of strength, conviction, good sense, and a commitment not to let anyone bad or negative be the architect of the rest of your life.”
August 10, 2011
Hmm. I've really been thinking about what to say about this book. I consider myself Dr. Laura neutral, that is, I cautiously like her. She is a great example of worldy wisdom, and I have learned a lot from listening to her on occasion over the years, but I don't necessarily agree with her on everything. Her advice is best when it is never allowed to trump your own gut feelings, or in particular, your faith, or counsel from your own eccesiastical leaders. That said, I think this book could be helpful to those dealing particularly with betrayal in business relationships and letting go of revenge. There are a lot of good stories and good perspectives. However, most of the scenarios she came up with didn't seem like betrayal at all to me--just classic examples of bad things happening to good people. The book is filled with the ongoing theme of Dr. Laura's own experiences with criticism and persecution throughout her career and is more personal than any of her books. As a result, I felt like this book was actually Dr. Laura's way of spiting all those people who have wronged her and saying "to heck with you" and "look how happy and fulfilled I am anyway" in print. (It seems wrong that she is in a position to easily profit from just about anything she wants to write.) Anyway, it really felt like her own revenge, in a way. But if it helps someone who can relate, I suppose it is just as well.
October 24, 2011
Candid, blunt, quick easy read, and to the point.
The gist?
Don't jump in the mud with the people who hurt you, drag you through the muck, and tear you down. Walk away and save yourself.
Anger, bitterness, revenge - these things compound the emotional damage we take from betrayal. Focusing on yourself and taking care of your own life for you, not to "get the better" of someone is the best "revenge" anyone could have.
I don't know the true meaning behind the saying "revenge is a dish best served cold" - but it seems to me that the message there is to wait, wait, wait more, and eventually abandon that dinner all together.
This message is one I think all of us need to hear at one point or another. Worth taking to the bank.
The gist?
Don't jump in the mud with the people who hurt you, drag you through the muck, and tear you down. Walk away and save yourself.
Anger, bitterness, revenge - these things compound the emotional damage we take from betrayal. Focusing on yourself and taking care of your own life for you, not to "get the better" of someone is the best "revenge" anyone could have.
I don't know the true meaning behind the saying "revenge is a dish best served cold" - but it seems to me that the message there is to wait, wait, wait more, and eventually abandon that dinner all together.
This message is one I think all of us need to hear at one point or another. Worth taking to the bank.
January 30, 2011
in the end, i had to ask myself one question: do i really want to take advice on such a sensitive subject from somebody who text messages with palin?
February 15, 2020
I did not foresee myself reading this book. My goal is to read more nonfiction and growth books. I want to be healthier in my habits and challenge myself more. I admire this psychologist. She is not known for her bedside manner, but I feel there is a lot of wisdom in the words of hers I have heard.
A big bookshelf of mine recently broke and I needed to figure out what to do with all the books that had been in there. As I began going through my books I came across one of hers. It made me laugh. I am not dealing with feelings of betrayal or revenge. I thought it would be interesting to read some of her perspective. It has been interesting in the past and it was again this time. This is a short book and proved a quick read. Throughout it, I found myself writing down a few things for my own notes to have and consider more in depth later on.
Too often emotions cause logic to go right out the window and we don't always act or react in the most healthy ways. I always want to be working on myself. I want to be the kind of person others want to be around. I want to treat people the best I can.
I will probably read other books of hers in the future. Again, out of curiosity, and if I benefit from them, I would not be surprised. I am of the belief you always walk away from anything with something.
A big bookshelf of mine recently broke and I needed to figure out what to do with all the books that had been in there. As I began going through my books I came across one of hers. It made me laugh. I am not dealing with feelings of betrayal or revenge. I thought it would be interesting to read some of her perspective. It has been interesting in the past and it was again this time. This is a short book and proved a quick read. Throughout it, I found myself writing down a few things for my own notes to have and consider more in depth later on.
Too often emotions cause logic to go right out the window and we don't always act or react in the most healthy ways. I always want to be working on myself. I want to be the kind of person others want to be around. I want to treat people the best I can.
I will probably read other books of hers in the future. Again, out of curiosity, and if I benefit from them, I would not be surprised. I am of the belief you always walk away from anything with something.
February 10, 2012
You know, I was initially expecting to learn about getting revenge and sticking it to someone who betrayed you, but what I found is a book about determining if something is truly a betrayal or just a perceived or real hurt and letting it go for my own sake. This book made me realize that not every hurtful or bad emotion some else caused me was a betrayal. Sometimes these things are unintentional or just as the result of bad judgement and/or anger. Most importantly, it taught me to really look at the real betrayals in my life and realize I need to learn to let them go. I have been carrying these things around for years and they are a cancer. I may have a long way to go, but without this book I would never realized the journey I NEED to take.
November 26, 2018
I went into this book not knowing who she was, I had an open mind. I got the impression through her very words that she lacks empathy and therefore is not someone I can take advice from on this topic. There was a lot of finger pointing and a lack of critical self-reflection in her stories, which in some of the cases she explained in the book, would have helped mitigate (e.g. the n-word scandal). Sometimes we have to stop saying that the whole world is wrong and against us and just realize that we were in the wrong to begin with. We aren't always the victims, sometimes we carry the privilege card or the position of power and we need to assess that before jumping on a defensive response. This message was missing completely.
May 22, 2011
Eh. Nothing truly insightful here (although certainly cathartic for Schlessinger, who shares many of her own instances of betrayals committed against her here). I think most of us have been betrayed at some point in our lives, in varying degrees, and while difficult, ultimately we survive, and are rewarded with something like perspective and maturity in the end (or at least I hope that's the case in my own situations). This just felt like Schlessinger needed to get this off her chest - she admits it's been something she's wanted to write for a long time. Unfortunately, it comes off as a rant and not something all that meaningful. Not recommended.
February 3, 2011
I didn't know anything about Dr. Laura other than that she hosted a radio program in which she gave advice, but the title of the book intrigued me. It wasn't until the end of the book, however, that I realized that this writing was apparently in response to a relatively recent hurtful personal experience.
I believe this is an important subject worthy of much more exploration than this book provides. However, I feel it was dashed off in a moment of anger and unfortunately some of that anger creeps through.
I believe this is an important subject worthy of much more exploration than this book provides. However, I feel it was dashed off in a moment of anger and unfortunately some of that anger creeps through.
February 17, 2011
After just being betrayed by a group that I started, I was looking for a book to help me deal with the feelings I was going through. This book verified that 1. I was betrayed, 2. My feelings were understandable and valid, 3. Other people have been hurt in the same way. I guess I felt better because I felt verified, but I didn't gain any tools on how to deal with the evil doers other than ignore them and live a happy life in spite of them.
I like Dr. Laura and agree with most of what she says, so it was nice to hear that even SHE had gone through the feelings I was dealing with.
I like Dr. Laura and agree with most of what she says, so it was nice to hear that even SHE had gone through the feelings I was dealing with.
February 11, 2011
Not one of Dr. Laura's best books. In the end, she says, "I don't give a damn". Actually, what I hear is that she does indeed care. (The universe doesn't hear "no", translation: I do give a damn.) It was fast reading, but ultimately not very inspirational or enlightening. And it wasn't really very well written. I hope her future books are better. I still like listening to her on Sirius radio when I get a chance (I'm in the car driving.)
August 12, 2017
I was hooked at the first few pages. Unfortunately, that was the best part. The book might have been titled A List of Those Who've Wronged Me. The entire book is written as a cathartic purge of the author's personal experiences ('purge' being the author's own description in the epilogue), with no reflection or direction/ insight which might help the reader move forward through their own shark attacks. I was really looking forward to this, but I'm afraid it was a disappointment.
July 27, 2011
While I don't agree with her views on homosexuals only being allowed Civil Union and not full marriage, this was a very good book and made very good points. It softened my view on the writer. I still believe in full marriage for gays and lesbians, but I will look at her with an open mind. We can agree to disagree. Excellent book on the subject of our sharks in life.
July 30, 2017
I found this quickly read audiobook to be a long, disorganized, collection of angry rants of people that have wronged Laura or her friends/callers. An analysis of the mean people (who are not the ones reading) rather than a guide to dealing with these people. Very cynical and negative. Sad.
April 18, 2023
Interesting read. I generally do not experience a desire for revenge when I am unjustly or deliberately hurt, so I couldn't relate to much of the content. But I found her understanding of the type of person capable of attack behaviors to be spot on. The author encouraged using the pain to better yourself & move on without lowering yourself to the attacker/offender's level. It was also reassuring to know that it is not uncommon for people to target you no matter how forgiving, gracious, or kind you are to them. Reading this felt like a world-wise aunt advising me, to stay strong, & don't let the jerks get me down.
January 2, 2025
I was mostly pleasantly surprised by this book. Having recently been betrayed in a massive way by more than one person, this book was very validating and fun to read as well.
My response has already been to move on with my life, wiser and more cautious than before. And it's nice to have that decision reinforced so thoroughly.
I'm on a very different political wavelength (couldn't be much more different) and certainly don't agree with some of Dr Laura's views generally, but this book was also a gift from someone whose judgement I trust and I'm glad I gave it a chance.
My response has already been to move on with my life, wiser and more cautious than before. And it's nice to have that decision reinforced so thoroughly.
I'm on a very different political wavelength (couldn't be much more different) and certainly don't agree with some of Dr Laura's views generally, but this book was also a gift from someone whose judgement I trust and I'm glad I gave it a chance.
October 31, 2017
Sharing her own personal experiences with humor and honesty, Laura Schlessinger lets us explore the pain of being betrayed and helps us look at all the possibilities of how we can handle it. Betrayal is a fact of life but we do have choices. As one who has survived my own shark attacks, I found the book insightful and encouraging causing me to see the betrayals that happen to us in a whole new light.
August 12, 2020
I have enjoyed listening to Dr. Laura since I was a child and felt that I could use some help getting over a betrayal that I had been dealing with for some time. I enjoyed the read, but felt at times that it was more autobiographical than self help. Either way, I now feel better equipped to deal with my betrayal and hopefully move on with time.
September 7, 2022
This book was okay, but I did not think it was as good as some of her other books. Good advice on how to deal with public embarrassing announcements that seem to happen much more often in this highly connected ago. Her comments on Revenge were okay, but I felt that there could have been a little insight.
September 19, 2018
Overcoming Vengeance
Loved the personal triumphs that occurred after each betrayal. It is a Christian-based perspective to be grateful for life’s trials knowing that the treasure awaits believers.
Loved the personal triumphs that occurred after each betrayal. It is a Christian-based perspective to be grateful for life’s trials knowing that the treasure awaits believers.
April 7, 2022
Affirmation for the Betrayed
Given that Betrayal is a stunning but not uncommon experience, it's sad there is so little written or public discussion of it. This book provides much needed support and practical advice.
Given that Betrayal is a stunning but not uncommon experience, it's sad there is so little written or public discussion of it. This book provides much needed support and practical advice.
July 10, 2017
So good. Lots of info. Will re-read again at some point.
September 11, 2020
Basically a collection of stories about getting revenge. Interesting but not exactly the kind of book I was looking for.
January 2, 2022
loved this book - it was short and to the point. As per usual in typical dr. laura fashion.
July 16, 2022
Always a fan of Dr.
Laura’s straight talk!
Laura’s straight talk!
February 9, 2023
Don't seek vengeance? Not my favorite book from her. I didn't get much.
March 21, 2023
Listened to this as an audiobook. Lots of pearls of wisdom here, especially for those in sticky situations (like when a family member has abused your trust, etc.)
Prepare to take notes.
Prepare to take notes.
April 8, 2023
Very helpful advice
January 3, 2024
if you were wronged don't seek revenge, just enjoy your life and remember those who stood by you and sins stay neutral!
July 23, 2019
It was okay.
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