Rolling Pennies in the Dark: A Memoir with a Message

by Douglas MacKinnon

A heartbreaking and inspirational memoir of one man’s journey from abject childhood poverty and abuse to a high-level career as a White House writer.With humor, compassion, faith, and brutal honesty, Douglas MacKinnon tells his story of life below the poverty line and how he struggled to overcome his childhood. He shares poignant stories of his childhood, including one about rolling pennies by candlelight because the electricity had once again been cut off, and his little sister needed medication. At one point, his alcoholic parents abandoned him and his two siblings for five days, with no food, heat, or electricity in the middle of winter.

But as Doug grew, his determination to survive grew with him. Despite being accepted to the Air Force Academy directly after high school, he stayed closer to home so he could look after his younger sister. And as various opportunities opened up to him, he discovered that his heart belonged in the political arena; for it was there, he believed, that he could work for real change and bring help to those who suffered as he did as a child.

Rolling Pennies in the Dark reminds readers that it is possible to grow up in the most deplorable of conditions and still find success. More significantly, MacKinnon offers real solutions to our nation’s growing poverty problem. This is an important, essential book.

Genres: Biography, Nonfiction, Memoir

240 pages, Hardcover

First published February 7, 2012

Reviews

[Emma M. · Rating 2 out of 5]

To be honest I feel like I was duped. If only I would have taken the time to research the author before I sat down to read his “memoir.” I’m not sure that would have stopped me since the blurb for this book makes the claim that this is so “heartbreaking and inspirational.” Maybe I would have found it more inspirational if he had not spent a large chunk of the book sharing his distaste for what he refers to as “liberal” media. I do not need to be spoon fed your political beliefs Mr. MacKinnon. I really enjoyed the first half of the book up until around the time MacKinnon has the opportunity to meet President Reagan. What I don’t appreciate is how the author took it upon himself to make certain members of the Republican Party look like saints and everyone else who had a different opinion or agenda was corrupted and biased. You’re a fool if you think for even one minute that there are not politicians who are not swayed by large sums of money. You are also a fool if you think that Fox News is a credible source for information. I went into to this interested to see how one man was able to overcome the large obstacles placed before him. I wanted to read his account of his history and how he came to be who he is today. I understand that politics have played a role especially in his career; however, I’m not sure why the soapbox throughout the rest of the book was necessary. Use your Huffington Post platform and call it good.

[Tamir A. Shaw · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this book, but I should say life. It was quite a journey through Mackinnon's experiences and I do not doubt the truth in it. I am glad I bumped into this book, it's truly inspirational.

[Kathleen (Kat) Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

"For me and the millions of people across the planet who had or have it much worse than me, a recurring questions is "What's the point?"

For many of our fellow human beings in indescribable pain, it's natural to contemplate any and all ways to end such unbearable and unrelenting pain. Sometimes the black abyss just beyond the edge of the cliff looks like the answer. The only answer.

"What's the point?"

For some who are beaten down by the ravages of poverty and life, there is no point. Unless we can magically transpose ourselves into such people's horrific lives, then we have no business judging them. Sympathize, empathize, and help. But unless they commit crimes against civilized society, judge not.

As someone who has encountered some of the worst that life has to offer, I would only tell those standing at the edge of that abyss and considering the worst to step back as I did.

I would tell them - scream at them - that there is a point. There truly is. And that point, at least for me, is faith" (Pg 188).

In the book, Rolling Pennies in the Dark by Douglas MacKinnon, his is truly a memoir with a message. A message about what it's like to grow up poor, without food for days at a time, raised by parents who's goal in life was to find their way into the next Vodka bottle and forget about the 3 children they had. It's a harsh reality that springs to life on the pages of this book that really make you take a hard look at those you encounter on the streets or schools sometimes. That life isn't as easy for some as it is for others and those without, grow up thinking that their life is about as normal as it's supposed to be. They just have to keep trying to move forward in anyway they can. It is truly unforgettable.

Being a huge book lover, I find myself challenging myself to step outside my favorite book genres and read memoirs to see a different side of life than the one I had growing up. It's passages like this one that really make a connection for me:

" As we were driving, I noticed a hardcover copy of The Wizard of Oz lying on the floor at my feet. Having nothing better to do than watch my dad's head slip closer and closer to the steering wheel on the way to a drunken mini-coma, I picked up the book and started reading the first page. By the end of the night, I had read the entire book.

For me, it was magic. By reading The Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum, I was able to magically and instantly transport myself far away from the hunger, dirt and uncertainty that were my life. Because of the talent and gift of an author, I was able to immerse myself in written words that possessed a very real and tangible healing power. To me, it was nothing short of a minor miracle.

As long as there were words on a page, I had the opportunity to travel back in time, across vast oceans, to mythical lands, or into outer space. I had the chance to escape and give my battered mind a much-needed reprieve." (Pg 34-35).

I received Rolling Pennies in the Dark by Douglas MacKinnon compliments of Howard Books, a division of Simon and Schuster Publishers for my honest review. I think we all need to read books like this, if nothing more than to open our eyes up to the people around us that we may encounter who desperately need help in any way we can. We come from a nation that is truly blessed and the reality is, that is we all worked together, there would be no more homeless people, orphaned children, and people doing without anymore. I would encourage you all to read this amazing memoir and see if it doesn't truly impact you in a powerful way. I rate this one a 5 out of 5 stars.

[Karen Segboer · Rating 1 out of 5]

Awful, awful book. The man can't write and doesn't even try, he's so busy trying to be a smart-ass and use his deplorable childhood as an excuse for his own bad behavior all the while stating it IS no excuse. Much of what MacKinnon writes about, especially as a very young child (two and a half years and out in the snow with dirty socks on his hands because he didn't have mittens?) leads me to believe he has heard some of these early hard luck stories second-hand, and as a child that young, he didn't have the developmental level or capacity to recall or process what's happening to him. There's also something smelly in the narrative of his parents' family not becoming more involved in his care and that of his siblings. They were loving and capable (he says), but they didn't step up? Hard to believe. Then there's a giant leap of logic and time in the book when, all of a sudden, he was in Washington D.C. and spouting a rather offensive Tea Party line. If I can relay a spoiler, it would be "Don't read this book. Don't waste your time."

[Jody · Rating 1 out of 5]

I didn't make it all the way through this one. MacKinnon had a horrible childhood full of poverty, uncertainty, and abuse. He's got a powerful story to tell in there somewhere. Unfortunately, he was not able to convey that story to me. He judges others very, very harshly - faults people for being "born evil" or being lazy and so on. Yet without a note of irony he makes excuses for every bad thing he does - "I wasn't a bad kid; I was just trying to survive in a rough neighborhood." I made it about halfway through before I gave up. I understand the second half of the book is more political in nature which I'm sure I would have disagreed with, but I didn't even make it out of the memoir portion.

[Mary · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book felt like a bait and switch -- the author and his two siblings survived a terrible childhood at the hands of his alcoholic, ne'er-do-well father and alcoholic, mentally ill mother. So the survival aspect of MacKinnon's book is commendable and inspiring. But he's a crummy writer. His prose style is a collection of clichés, contradictions, and aphorisms. Where was the editing? Plus, the second half of the book descends into political asides that make me think he works for Fox News. It was disappointing.

[Lazycatfarm · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this is an incredible life journey for everyone to read. Not light hearted with unicorns & rainbows but ... The terrible poverty & rejection in his school years would be a good thing for every kid to learn about as they tease & bully the less fortunate. For this man to reach the level of education & employment (President speech writer!!!) after what he endured. I'd love to see this book formatted for kids to have empathy instead of hatred for those who are not "like them". Will think about this for a long time.

[Jon · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a childhood of suffering! I starting reading this book not knowing anything about the contents and was soon gripped by the life of a poor kid in Boston with alcoholic parents, poverty and creative coping solutions. Fortunately, the boy made it manhood with his mind and body intact. Part 2 is brief but the author attempts to distill some wisdom from his extremely strange and miserable early life.

[Deanna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Poor boy rises...

This was a book club read, admittedly I didn't finish the book due to an out of the country trip. I did enjoy the 50% I read, but felt there was a lot of bitterness in the tone of his writing. After the book club discussion apparently this bitterness continued into the 2nd half as well. Many subjects were glossed over or never explained.

[Sally Andrews · Rating 4 out of 5]

The first half of the book broke my heart! Poverty is nothing to be taken lightly, and there are children in America living in appalling conditions.

The leap to the author's success was a little unclear to me, because I'm sure it was neither a straight nor a simple path. I'd love to have heard more about how he achieved what he did, found a wife, etc.

All in all, a really good book.

[Polly · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read it.

[Braden McElroy · Rating 4 out of 5]

My concern for MacKinnon’s Rolling Pennies in the Dark is that his powerful story will get lost because those who disagree with his resulting viewpoint will review it negatively...for primarily superficial reasons.

But first things first. As others have noted, the first half of the book covers Mr. MacKinnon’s childhood — though “childhood” is not an appropriate word because he never had the nurturing environment that allows one the freedom to indulge in being a child. For him, poverty was the consequence of a deeper, more challenging problem — the dysfunction caused by his messed-up parents. The collection of memories he recounts are the most powerful aspect of the book, and I don’t want to spoil your experience by relaying any of them. For me, it would have been worth it just to read this first half of his story.

I did have a few disappointments or lingering questions. Despite the hell of his early years, Mr. MacKinnon did not consider morality a luxury he couldn’t afford. To the contrary, he developed a strong faith in God. It fascinates me when someone experiences great pain but does not reject God because of it. I have my own perspective about that, but I wanted to hear more about his. Second, one might reasonably expect that someone who experienced what Mr. MacKinnon experienced would be more naturally drawn to the left side of the political spectrum, especially given that his much-loved grandparents and others of his extended family were strong supporters of the Kennedys. I would like to have heard more about how he got from that starting place to the unflinching strong (and controversial) viewpoints that resulted from his experience and which are shared at the end of the book. Thirdly, I was curious (maybe he is, too) about how he and his brother Jay survived their first years before they were big enough to help each other and their sister. Given their virtual abandonment for lengthy periods due to their parents’ alcoholism, it’s remarkable. Finally, I would like to have learned whether his siblings developed similar or divergent viewpoints…but I suppose those are not his stories to tell.

I think that Mr. MacKinnon does expose one flaw in his perspective. Several times he stratifies between those who share(d) his experience and—everybody else. I think the reality is that most people, even in the US, experience some degree of very real pain and trauma as children. Relatively few (at least in the US) are as extreme and as unrelenting as Mr. MacKinnon’s, but I think there is more empathy out there than he knows. I attribute his stratified view as being the product of seeing the lowest of lows and the highest of highs without measurable experience (or at least not chronicled experience) in the vast stretch in between. Does he think DC is any sort of true mirror of the US? I’ve worked there; it is not.

Be advised, this book hits some sacred cows right between the eyes. Our educational system, the media, the wealthy (especially politicians), affirmative action, the church — Mr. MacKinnon doesn’t dance around, and he doesn’t pull his punches. Even where I disagreed with him, I appreciated that he asked the questions...and I enjoyed his bluntness.

However, because he challenges these establishments, I think the heart of Mr. MacKinnon’s story will ultimately be lost by those who cannot look beyond their own intolerant political persuasions…and who will rate the book accordingly. Though he regularly applauds individuals on the liberal side of the spectrum and often criticizes those on his own side, at the end of the day he calls himself conservative and will therefore receive significant hate reviews from a small but vocal faction of the liberal left. On the other hand, since Mr. MacKinnon encourages a Christ-like response to poverty (to get right in the thick of it and provide useful help to those suffering from it), he will not get great support from the prevailing faction of conservatives that favor very limited government engagement with the issue.

For my part, I think our society owes our impoverished a hearing…and I think Mr. MacKinnon's experience makes him a credible and able spokesperson. Four strong stars.

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a pretty interesting book. Doug MacKinnon grew up in the Dorchester section of Boston in an incredibly abusive and poverty-stricken home. Both of Doug's parents were violent alcholics who really did not care what their three young children did to survive. Doug and his siblings often went hungry and rarely had electricity in their home. Doug learned from a young age that he had to take care of himself because otherwise no one else would. Eventually Doug managed to go to college and get on a better path. Incredibly he ended up working with the White House and more than one President of the United States! The first part of this book is Doug's story - his horrific childhood and how he eventually ended up working in politics. The second part of the book are some of the lessons he would like to impart based on his expereinces growing up. While I appreciate the fact that he knows from personal experience that you can change your life and poverty is not a life sentence, he is also very political and very obviously anti-liberal. Which to each his own, and to be fair he doesn't make that the focus of the book, but it's a little more heavy handed in the second part of the book. Overall, his story is awe-inspiring, but the book is not written all that well so that's why I didn't give it more stars.

[Kori · Rating 3 out of 5]

MacKinnon's memoir begins with his childhood of growing up in the mist of extreme poverty with dysfunctional absent minded alcoholic parents. Despite the hell of his early years, MacKinnon did not consider morality a luxury he couldn’t afford. To the contrary, he developed a strong faith in God. It fascinates me when someone experiences great pain but does not reject God because of it. For me, the first half of the book is worth reading.

One might expect that someone who experienced what Mr. MacKinnon experienced would be more naturally drawn to the left side of the political spectrum, especially given that his much-loved grandparents and others of his extended family were strong supporters of the Kennedys. I would like to have heard more about how he got from that starting place to the unflinching strong (and controversial) viewpoints that resulted from his experience and which are shared at the end of the book.

Depending on ones political stance -- the end of the book might turn readers off. While I can respect the views of those who hold opposing viewpoints MacKinnon comes across as very forced and preachy.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

The short chapters pack a punch, sometimes literally, mostly verbally. The author blends his opinion into his recollection of horrifying, life-altering events, understandably, but I was thrown off. He is rightfully spiteful and certainly successful when the world had him in a choke hold, but it read like a transcript from therapy sessions. My reaction left me feeling guilty and unsympathetic to his plight. I wanted to know more about what kids in poverty experience, to open my eyes to a hidden travesty in this country, but I agree with a previous reviewer, the chunk of politics at the heart of the book tempted me to skim the pages. I didn't, but wasn't rewarded for my effort. The "message" was separated in part two, but reiterated what he wove through the entire book. He has a message, and if he hadn't been going through a divorce at the time, that message might have been a less bitter pill to swallow.

[Andi Tubbs · Rating 4 out of 5]

Doug and his younger siblings grew up in deplorable conditions, very little food, dirty home, drinking parents who fought and threw things. Yet, at a very early age when he was sent to Parochial school he was drawn to God. A little nativity scene was on a table and he felt safe and such peace when he went by it. He asked a Nun if he could have it and she said No, but he could buy it for four quarters. He knew what four quarters were so he took four quarters from his dad's suit coat and bought that nativity scene and placed it in his bedroom.
This was a hard, yet inspirational memoir, he went from a child who was abused and went on to work in the White House for two presidents, in a Joint Command at the Pentagon, and as a director of communications for former senator Bob Dole. It is quite clear that God had his hand on him from the time he was very young. I highly recommend!

[Peggy · Rating 3 out of 5]

What a tragic story. I enjoyed the first half of the book.....but there seemed to be a huge chunk missing between his miserable childhood and working in the whitehouse, married with children. It just seemed like a huge and important hole in the story. I questioned the author's disdain for teachers...ESP. Sine education was the only good thing that happen to/for him. It's not like the nuns in the catholic school treated him so well. The author is surely biased when it comes toteacher's unions.

I have a feeling that the author, although over coming tremendous odds, is a very fragiile character.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Like most memoirs just reading it makes me angry that parents could be so cruel. I found this book readable mostly because he didn't dwell long on the misery. Chapters were short. He actually went on to have an interesting career. Although his life certainly still has it's ups and downs. Sheds light on proverty in America and how the country treats it or ignores it. The one thing I didn't understand how he has no ill will towards his family members that knew of the abuse but didn't do anything about it, other than provide clean clothes and a safe house for a night.

[Karalee · Rating 3 out of 5]

My heart goes out to children who endure abuse from parents. My biggest question was why no one (Uncles & Grandparents) stepped in to take legal action and forcibly remove the children from their blatantly abusive parents. I found his negotiation into adulthood fascinating. The political anecdotes and ideas were an interesting addition to the book. He suggests education is the key to helping the poor change. This book was a unique view into a childhood with alcoholic parents (similar to the Glass Castle).

[Jennifer · Rating 2 out of 5]

I knew nothing of this author before reading this memoir. The memoir felt forced. I think this book had potential for being a best seller if the author would have told his story instead of preaching it. I will admit that I was turned off by the story as soon as he is recounting his high school years, but felt it necessary to say teachers of today only care about unions and not students. For me it took a downward spiral from that point on.

[Lynne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great story about a man who had the most difficult childhood anyone could have and survived it to become a writer and successful adult. I was especially drawn to this story as an example of what kids are going through while suffering abuse, neglect and abject poverty that is never discovered by social services. I found it hard to read about the suffering that these children survived with no intervention. Amazing story of resilience!

[Vennie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This author is really an inspiration to me. It's hard to understand why some people have such a difficult childhood and turn out so productive and then others who have so many benefits end up wasting their lives or hurting others. This book gives you some insight into the mind of one of the less fortunate ones who has the desire to do something with his life and ultimately succeeds. Highly recommended.

[Smschade · Rating 3 out of 5]

What a illustration of a horrible childhood. For me this was a male version of "The Glass Castle." Each chapter of his childhood was more horrific than the last. I was thankful to see the author success despite an unimaginable start in life.

[Cynthia · Rating 2 out of 5]

The story was good , but I felt that the author was holding back, that there was more meat to the story than he presented.

[Risha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dennis Miller recommended this book and it was very good. You have to respect someone who comes this far in life...when starting from nothing. Good read.

[Susan Baker · Rating 3 out of 5]

Poorly written. Extremely sad. So much to think about.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved it!! Very inspiring and common sense.

[Marcy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this book, but it got a little preachy at the end, and would not be for everybody.

[Cynthia Stephenson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this book and will keep it for a future re-read.

[Chapter · Rating 2 out of 5]

Talk about pulling yourself up by the bootstraps.