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If It Was Easy, They'd Call the Whole Damn Thing a Honeymoon: Living with and Loving the TV-Addicted, Sex-Obsessed, Not-So-Handy Man You Married
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If It Was Easy, They'd Call the Whole Damn Thing a Honeymoon: Living with and Loving the TV-Addicted, Sex-Obsessed, Not-So-Handy Man You Married

3.8  ·  Rating details ·  642 Ratings  ·  123 Reviews
Jenna McCarthy presents an uproarious but insightful peek behind the curtains at the unholy state of matrimony. With ballsy wit and bawdy humor, she explores everything from male domestic idiocy and the frustrating misfires in spousal communication to how to stay true to the peskiest of vows: forsaking all others. Part in-your-face guide, part brutal confession, this book ...more
Paperback, 295 pages
Published October 4th 2011 by Berkley Trade
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Oct 17, 2011 rated it really liked it
I don't even know where to start. I swear that Jenna had me followed before writing this book. If you subtract out the part where Joe is a great handyman and can fix/remodel things, you have my husband. I laughed so hard that I almost had to invest in poise pads. I had to stop and reread things to my husband (usually giggling uncontrollably the whole time) just because they were completely him. I could not believe that God made more than one of these men out there. From sleeping with the train t ...more
Mar 04, 2012 rated it really liked it
While this book is written for a female audience, I found it absolutely hysterical. McCarthy gives us the grand tour of marriage – perhaps more accurately, what it is like to live with anyone 24/7 – providing keen insights into human nature and our gender differences through the lens of a very talented comedienne. There’s enough material in this book to write a thousand sit-coms and a series of much smarter and funnier romantic comedies. This is not a man-bashing book by any means, as she honest ...more
Mar 31, 2014 rated it did not like it
If you want to listen to a spoiled, shallow, materialistic woman with OCD drone on about her first world problems and how the little annoying things her husband does (and that husbands of equally privileged, yet ungrateful women do) are the bane of her existence, then you should buy this book. I wish I could sell you my copy, unfortunately, it's digital. If I could return this book, I would in a heartbeat.
Nov 08, 2011 rated it did not like it
Shelves: unfinished
I don't like the expression "white whine" but Jenna McCarthy exceeds that in this book. When she started complaining about having to use the same bathroom as her husband (OMG boys poop and smell!), I knew I wouldn't be able to finish this book. The whole thing reeks of upper-middle class white privilege and selfishness.
I got through the first 3 chapters of this book, and decided to start browsing. I have been married for over 4 years, living with the same man for 7 years now. I know how frustrating men can be, but this book just made me feel bad for men. Women bitch this much, seriously? I know I complain about things, but good grief! There was such an undertone of disrespect for these men who chose to marry these women, and I hate that. If you don't respect someone, don't marry them! Also, I wasn't a fan of J ...more
Oct 20, 2011 rated it really liked it
So funny. My husband didn't perfectly align with every chapter, but oh boy, there were enough that I felt like I was dishing with girlfriends. She doesn't offer any groundbreaking advice on how to make your marriage/relationship better, but she does dish the fights, annoyances, and frustrations of her own marriage in a rather conversational, hilarious, manner. It was nice to know that I'm not the only woman out there frustrated with this, or that - while still loving their husband dearly.
Nov 11, 2011 rated it liked it
Laugh out loud funny. Jenna McCarthy writes this memoir in such an easy breezy way that you would swear you were sitting around with your girlfriends listening to them bitch and moan about their husbands. You are guaranteed to smile at the description of how utterly useless and needy her husband becomes at the first sign of a cold or the classic in the car fight where you yell for him to pull over...and then he actually does. As an added bonus there are in the inclusions of the "At least I'm not ...more
Jun 10, 2012 rated it did not like it
I will admit, when I skimmed this title on the "Last Chance" rack at my local B&N I initially thought that the author would prove to be as entertaining as it's cover suggests. I, fellow humans, was very mistaken. This book is the very definition of awful. The first two chapters were great. It's too bad every single chapter after that just gets progressively worse and worse and not to mention - PREACHY

The author, Jenna McCarthy, spends the majority of each chapter letting you know how stupid
May 02, 2014 rated it did not like it
Shelves: 2014
I started out really loving this book. However, at about chapter 2, I wanted to bail. I kept with it only because I refused to quit. I wanted to say to some of the women in the book, "shut the fuck up."
I marveled too because I've been married 5 years and couldn't give a fig what my hubs thinks about when he lays on the couch. None of my business just like I don't want to explain it to him what I think about. I also don't feel the need to analyze both our days and find gossip stupid with or with
Melissa Guimont
Oct 23, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: nonfiction
A laugh-out-loud account of what it's like to live with your other half and supress the urge not kill each other over the most ridiculous things in life. Even if you aren't married, you can relate to many of these stories. It's refreshing to read about Jenna and her husband slinging hilarious exchanges that are common occurrences in every household. It's part of a "normal, healthy relationship" to want to smash your partner with a bag of ice in the face every now-and-then or fight over the tempe ...more
Sep 28, 2016 rated it really liked it
A hysterical look at married life from the honest Jenna McCarthy. There are so many things that so many women will be able to relate to - from Man Flu to shopping habits. Sure, it comes across a bit stereotypical and snarky, but it's real life and I found it super entertaining.

Her husband has an end note, but I really wish he would write his own version of this book - that would be amazing. McCarthy comes across as a bit neurotic and crazy sometimes (this is the first I've ready of hers) but I
Jan 18, 2012 rated it it was amazing
This woman is absolutely hilarious. She is vulgar at times, perhaps a little too vulgar for my taste, but I would still recommend this book to most people. She has a way of making your relational frustrations seem completely normal and I like that she's down to earth in that way. She won't lie to you, that's for sure.

Possibly my favorite quote from the entire book: "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
Jul 07, 2012 rated it really liked it
this was a great read! there was so much that i related to and so many times that i wanted to read whole chapters to my husband or my friends. i absolutely loved reading this and really want to send copies to my friends. there wasn't really any advice other than to be happy with the quirks that you married bc it could be worse and that all of these little things are worth getting past. i highly recommend this to any wife and maybe even a few husbands!
Nov 15, 2011 rated it it was amazing
it was pretty refreshing to read a book about crazy husbands that also acknowledges the role that wives play in the craziness. so many times i thought to myself "holy moly, they're ALL like that!" the at least you're not married to him sections were quite eye-opening.
i'll take the quirk i married thank you very much! : )
Oct 08, 2011 rated it really liked it
Loved it. I was laughing out loud on a plane full of people sleeping on the way to Rome. I swear the people around me wanted to shoot me. I just couldn't help myself. The sick husband is the best ever! I can relate, but it also made me love my hubby even more. Of course the trip to Rome helped as well....
Oct 10, 2011 rated it really liked it
I think all of us are married to someone that fits one (if not all) of the descriptions in this book. Jenna takes a humorous approach to marriage and it's definitely a must read if you are married. If you're not married yet, don't read it, live in the bliss on honeymoon time a little while longer ;)
Jun 28, 2012 rated it really liked it
Laugh out loud funny! I enjoyed reading this and had to stop and read to my husband some of the passages. He always responded, "That's about right. So?" I could really identify with this book. I especially liked the 'at least your not married to him' reflections sprinkled throughout that were provided from responses to her blog.
Nov 20, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Not finished yet cannot stop laughing and reading it!! Hilarious and a perfect insight to most relationships!!
Angie Gochnauer
Mar 25, 2013 rated it really liked it
Shelves: book-club-books
This book was hilarious!!! A nice reminder that we are not alone ladies! ; )
Oct 08, 2011 rated it it was amazing
All I have to say is this book is HILARIOUS! Any married woman would relate to every part of this book! Highly recommend!
Aly Halberstadt
Nov 13, 2011 rated it it was amazing
It's like she knows everything about my marriage! It's like chatting with your best friend about that hunk of a man you call your own :)
Oct 15, 2013 rated it it was amazing
I wonder what the woman on the cover is cooking? SO many questions. Can't wait to read this!
Oct 03, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Love,Love,Loved it! Laughed all the way through!
Oct 06, 2011 rated it really liked it
This is one of the funniest books I have ever read! It made me thankful for my imperfect husband!
May 29, 2017 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2017
Love this book ...equal parts honesty and wit. Anyone who has shared their home with another human can completely relate and in some instances I'd swear that she has pulled inspiration directly from the various forms of torment that I have suffered.
Linda El
Jun 02, 2017 rated it really liked it
I read this book on vacation when I needed "easy reading". It is funny about marriage & relationships. And the recognition of oneself is inevitable. Will be on the lookout for a Jenna McCarthy in time for my next "rest, eat, laugh, have sex, drink some wine, read & relax etc" vacation!
Aug 20, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Between the author's stories and the 'you'd think this was an exaggeration but I can TOTALLY BELIEVE IT' anecdotes from poor suffering women everywhere, I nearly split a rib laughing at this book. I found myself relating to practically every part, especially this one:

This may come as a shock to you, but it is universally accepted (by most people with penises at least)), so you might as well get used to it: Once a man has pressed the power button on the TV, he is officially "watching it," for all
Eva Leger
Jan 24, 2013 rated it liked it
Shelves: b-non-fiction, humor
I picked this up based solely on the cover and title... and the fact that I needed a little humor in my life when I saw this. Oh, and that I was slightly aggravated with my significant other. Those are the reasons.
Did I like it? Yeah. I did. I did laugh out loud more than a handful of times and I did actually feel like I was talking with/listening to a girlfriend.
But... I also thought it was a tad long. That might have been more me wanting to move on to something else but either way it's definit
Samantha Carter
Aug 09, 2013 rated it did not like it
While this book was admittedly entertaining at points (I could totally relate to the "He can't help it, he's a guy" section), I was completely distracted by the horribly foul language. She admits to "swearing like a sailor", and I'm in no way an easily offended person, but the constant use of the "F" word, and belittling was beyond annoying.
The whole time I was reading, I just kept thinking "thank heavens I'm not married to HER!"
Even the afterward at the end did nothing to curb my dislike for
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I’ve been writing for a long time.

I submitted my first short story to Highlights magazine in 1977.

I never got a reply.

In high school I wrote a lot of really bad poetry. Mercifully, I didn’t save any of it.

The first thing I ever had published was an essay in my college newspaper. The typesetter misspelled the word "sing" as "sign" in the last line and the whole thing made no sense whatsoever.

More about Jenna McCarthy...
“If you want to test a woman’s capacity to really get shit done, get her sick. You’d be amazed at what a coughing, hacking, feelinglike-hell female can accomplish.” What? They don’t exist? Exactly my point.” 0 likes
“(Think, “Want to go out for dinner tonight?” “K”), as if the sender might be suggesting he is far too busy and important to go to the laborious lengths of typing out the entire word Okay?” 0 likes
More quotes…