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Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives
The host of L.A.'s top-rated radio talk show uses profuse real-world examples from her radio show and her private practice to help women take responsibility for their own happiness. 75,000 first printing. $75,000 ad/promo. Tour.
232 pages, Hardcover
First published February 8, 1994
85 people are currently reading
6378 people want to read
About the author
Laura Schlessinger
64 books253 followersLaura Catherine Schlessinger (born January 16, 1947) is an American talk radio host, socially conservative commentator and author. Her radio program consists mainly of her responses to callers' requests for personal advice and has occasionally featured her short monologues on social and political topics. Her website says that her show "preaches, teaches, and nags about morals, values and ethics".
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 233 reviews
August 19, 2007
I was given this book by a couple I babysat for years ago and found it then (when I was a at least a decade younger) condescending and insulting. 'Dr.' Laura's patriarchal and het-centric views of women in general do nothing to help women, but rather bully them into submission. I think this book actually made me a feminist as a teen.
July 31, 2013
The same women who give this book a low rating are the women who think 50 Shades of Grey was one of the best literary ventures of the 21st century.
I don't know that I particularly care for the Dr. Laura Schlessinger herself but she speaks the truth and women need to hear, acknowledge, and admit to what they are doing wrong in choosing bad men and take ownership of their poor decision making. Women choose the same ass over and over and over again hoping that they can turn their Christian Grey into a good-hearted bad boy. You are not empowered by doing the same things that bad men do. Do what good men do: invest in hobbies, get a degree, find a job that underscores your talents, be a leader and visionary for your children, choose a partner instead of hanging around waiting for a worthless one to choose you.
I don't know that I particularly care for the Dr. Laura Schlessinger herself but she speaks the truth and women need to hear, acknowledge, and admit to what they are doing wrong in choosing bad men and take ownership of their poor decision making. Women choose the same ass over and over and over again hoping that they can turn their Christian Grey into a good-hearted bad boy. You are not empowered by doing the same things that bad men do. Do what good men do: invest in hobbies, get a degree, find a job that underscores your talents, be a leader and visionary for your children, choose a partner instead of hanging around waiting for a worthless one to choose you.
July 21, 2008
This should be required reading for girls and women. wish someone had given it to me when I was about 17. I might not have paid attention, dismissing it as some old person's jaded take on life because I was so smart, so wise at 17 - none of these things would happen to me. NOT. Read it. Make your sister read it. Give it to your daughter. PAY them to read it, if that's what it will take.
August 31, 2007
This is the only book I ever read by this irritating woman who capitalizes on women's misery and pain by making them feel like idiots rather than women who need REAL advice. I have suffered my share of painful relationships and I actually threw down hard cash looking for guidance and understanding from a purported 'professional'. This at a time when I really was beginning my soul searching to understand myself. Rather I was told what a FUCKUP I was! OH! It was all MY fault!!! I was insulted and found her to NOT care one bit and felt her irrational screeching at me via the written word was off the wall, out of bounds and outright narcissistic. You should be ashamed of yourself 'DOCTOR' Laura...
July 17, 2007
I'm embarassed to even admit I read this TRASH. Perhaps she should have written Ten Wise Things Women Do to Improve Their Lives...but that would not have sold as many books, eh. If I ever see her...I'll throw this book back to her.
February 8, 2011
Let me start by saying generally I hate Dr. Laura and don't agree with much of what she says and feel like it applies to the lowest common man. Instead with this book I found I agreed with most of the concepts but still it applied to the stupidest of stupid women as the book implied. The ten mistakes let me just give you the gist and spare you the read:
1. Deriving self worth from a man
2. Tricking a man into dating you and implying too much meaning in men's actions and begging
3. Justifying crappy men behavior
4. Confusing sex with love, sex too soon
5. Cohabitating
6. Hating the man your dating/ using him as a self esteem boost
7. Making babies for all the wrong reasons
8. Letting a man hurt your children
9. Use girly manipulation tools instead of dealing with real emotions emphasis on righteous anger
10. Forgiving repeatedly the unrepentant and insensitive man
1. Deriving self worth from a man
2. Tricking a man into dating you and implying too much meaning in men's actions and begging
3. Justifying crappy men behavior
4. Confusing sex with love, sex too soon
5. Cohabitating
6. Hating the man your dating/ using him as a self esteem boost
7. Making babies for all the wrong reasons
8. Letting a man hurt your children
9. Use girly manipulation tools instead of dealing with real emotions emphasis on righteous anger
10. Forgiving repeatedly the unrepentant and insensitive man
September 27, 2011
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned: I've given a "Doctor Laura" book four stars while putting certain works by Asimov, Lewis, Card, and even Ellison in the "two star" category.
Ugh... how did I come to this?
Well, here's how.
I picked up this book while vacationing in a beach condo in Florida. I needed to relax and let my brain pig out, so I flipped through "Ten Stupid Things" just so I could laugh at how wrong and opinionated this author was.
But a funny thing happened: I couldn't really peg down precisely where Ms. Schessinger was wrong. She was bold, she was crass, she was a screeching pipsqueak wrapped up in her own view of the world... but the truth of the matter is... the world needs pipsqueaks. We need that one person out there who, right or wrong, will tell it to us like it is and doesn't give a darn if we care.
In an effort to keep these people from deserting society entirely, I'll allow myself a single positive nod in that direction. Giving this book four stars is that nod.
Ugh... how did I come to this?
Well, here's how.
I picked up this book while vacationing in a beach condo in Florida. I needed to relax and let my brain pig out, so I flipped through "Ten Stupid Things" just so I could laugh at how wrong and opinionated this author was.
But a funny thing happened: I couldn't really peg down precisely where Ms. Schessinger was wrong. She was bold, she was crass, she was a screeching pipsqueak wrapped up in her own view of the world... but the truth of the matter is... the world needs pipsqueaks. We need that one person out there who, right or wrong, will tell it to us like it is and doesn't give a darn if we care.
In an effort to keep these people from deserting society entirely, I'll allow myself a single positive nod in that direction. Giving this book four stars is that nod.
July 17, 2007
What a freak.....
January 13, 2013
I read this book in a matter of a few days. First off, I can understand some of the extremely negative reviews I've seen of this book - I don't entirely agree with everything Dr. Laura has to say, and sometimes she has a way of saying things that comes off as harsh. For the lady seeking gentle words of wisdom and a kindly guiding hand, don't read this book. It's brutally honest and direct, and offers extremely harsh criticism of women who do stupid things. With that said, I'm glad for the slap in the face that this book provides!
Thankfully, I've never been any of the extreme types of woman that this book describes, but in my own way I've experienced being in the position of being the woman doing stupid things. I already knew, simply by life experience and common sense, not to do the things or be the woman as described in the book, but Dr. Laura gives a good perspective and a clear, unblinded eye with regards to the many, many ways in which we females ruin our own lives.
As I said, I don't agree with everything 100%, but I'd say I agree with it about 98%. I think that anyone who thinks that this book is total garbage is just kidding themselves...there are undeniable truths in this book. If you're one of those who denies those truths, well it seems to me that you're one of the ladies described in this very book, and you're in denial of some serious truths!
Thankfully, I've never been any of the extreme types of woman that this book describes, but in my own way I've experienced being in the position of being the woman doing stupid things. I already knew, simply by life experience and common sense, not to do the things or be the woman as described in the book, but Dr. Laura gives a good perspective and a clear, unblinded eye with regards to the many, many ways in which we females ruin our own lives.
As I said, I don't agree with everything 100%, but I'd say I agree with it about 98%. I think that anyone who thinks that this book is total garbage is just kidding themselves...there are undeniable truths in this book. If you're one of those who denies those truths, well it seems to me that you're one of the ladies described in this very book, and you're in denial of some serious truths!
April 9, 2007
I'd like to pinch her little head off. My God! There's common sense and there's commense sense that's rammed down your throat.
March 13, 2012
People either love Dr. Laura or hate her. As a former syndicated talk radio hosts, a good portion of the book consists of dialogues between Dr. Laura and her callers, and boy does she tell it like it is! While I can't stand her all of the time, I think she has some great insights!
A good intro to her book: "Here it goes. Men are not keeping you miserable. You are! If you are unhappy with your man, straighten yourself out and pick better! Put all this low self-esteem stuff in perspective. Life is hard. Only those willing to sustain themselves through self-doubt and difficult period of pain, loss, even dread, will achieve enhanced self-respect. It's that simple...If you don't want to put in the effort, accept that you've made a decision not to grow. If changing is simply too much trouble, just forget it--and at least give yourself some peace. If you're bent on excusing your inner weakness and passivity by spending decades 'recovering' go right ahead...My book is written to encourage you to show yourself what you're made of. And when you do, I guarantee you, you'll be impressed!"
A few gems:
--"Accomplishment, leading to self-esteem, is not just about doing something...It is about the courage to persist through pain and failure and self-doubt; to go past splat."
--"Why not fill our minds and our hearts and stop using a relationship with a man as a substitute for that core fulfillment? None of us, thank heaven, is Cinderella--who happens to be the greatest example ever of a woman waiting for some man to come along and fix it for her."
--"Men are here to share our lives, not to be our lives."
--"I'm not denying the negative impact of early family crises, disruption, or destructiveness. History is not destiny. You have free will to overcome, grow, change: Invent yourself."
A good intro to her book: "Here it goes. Men are not keeping you miserable. You are! If you are unhappy with your man, straighten yourself out and pick better! Put all this low self-esteem stuff in perspective. Life is hard. Only those willing to sustain themselves through self-doubt and difficult period of pain, loss, even dread, will achieve enhanced self-respect. It's that simple...If you don't want to put in the effort, accept that you've made a decision not to grow. If changing is simply too much trouble, just forget it--and at least give yourself some peace. If you're bent on excusing your inner weakness and passivity by spending decades 'recovering' go right ahead...My book is written to encourage you to show yourself what you're made of. And when you do, I guarantee you, you'll be impressed!"
A few gems:
--"Accomplishment, leading to self-esteem, is not just about doing something...It is about the courage to persist through pain and failure and self-doubt; to go past splat."
--"Why not fill our minds and our hearts and stop using a relationship with a man as a substitute for that core fulfillment? None of us, thank heaven, is Cinderella--who happens to be the greatest example ever of a woman waiting for some man to come along and fix it for her."
--"Men are here to share our lives, not to be our lives."
--"I'm not denying the negative impact of early family crises, disruption, or destructiveness. History is not destiny. You have free will to overcome, grow, change: Invent yourself."
October 27, 2019
The most stupid thing any woman could do to mess up her life is read this book!
Unless you are a teenage virgin perhaps... but, even then, it doesn't prepare you for navigating the real world for long.
Yes, taking responsibility for your own actions is crucial. Lots of women don't do this. They annoy me too. However, it is pointless to expect life to run smoothly because you've followed the advice in this book.
There are not 'good men' and 'bad men'. It is not that simple. There are men with good intentions and men with bad intentions. Even men with good intentions can go awry. Intentions change. A marriage is a commitment decades long and people's intentions, needs and ability to manage vary over time.
What worries me is the effect of her words on women with life experience. It is too easy to take what Dr S says and beat yourself up for 'choosing a bad man' when actually you chose a man for all the right reasons, who appeared to want just what you did, had no obvious issues, but events down the line meant it didn't work out.
E.g.
Should we be telling the battered wife, whose husband was great for years, until he lost his job and started drinking and getting angry, that this was her fault?
Er, no. His reactions are his reactions and only he can be held responsible for them. Women are no more blessed with being able to predict the future than anyone else and should not be made to feel responsible for someone else's bad behaviour. This woman did not choose a 'bad man'. She chose a man who did not cope with what the future dealt him.
Should we be telling the single mum, battling on with three kids, that she is to blame for their father, her partner - who, let's say, was very commited for years but understandably wouldn't marry because he'd suffered his own mother's abandonment and his parents' brutal subsequent divorce as a child - moving out because he'd found someone else?
Nope. Again, women are not witches with crystal balls who can predict a man's actions and reactions through the years. This single mum should be supported and applauded. If she decides to give up on her kids too, the government will have a hefty annual care bill of £100,000+ to pay and her children will be scarred for life.
And just how is she to consider marriage/commitment with someone else following Dr Schlessinger's advice here? Hmm. Probably she'll be too caught up trying to find a way to forgive herself for choosing a 'bad man' by not insisting he marry her despite his obvious intention to stay in the relationship long term and do the best by his children, even in the worst case scenario he could imagine? Imagine the stress of trying to choose a new man, when she feels she chose a 'bad' one before?
Short sighted Dr S.
Do we all want marriage anyway? After reading this book and thinking over the marriages I have known, marriage is not always desirable. Like reading a book, marriage requires a suspension of disbelief: "it is all going to go well and this is going to be a success..." In reality, we can NEVER know this though. Life throws us into unforseen situations and events unfold around us that make people do things we never imagined they would.
Yes, take responsibility for YOUR own actions in a marriage. But remember that your other half is a seperate being who must also take responsibility for theirs. And you cannot predict what they'll do....
If you are Christian, think of it this way: God is supposed to judge us at the end of our lives (heaven/hell) by which time we have been tested in lots of ways to show how we will react. If God can only make the decision who is good/bad at this point, how can a woman decide if someone is good or bad before they've had a life to observe? Crazy.
As for this book -
Take it from me (a very well educated and independent woman - yet still a divorcee??) this is condescending drivel from an obliviously entitled and well-supported woman who does not live in the real world. Read it at your peril.
Unless you are a teenage virgin perhaps... but, even then, it doesn't prepare you for navigating the real world for long.
Yes, taking responsibility for your own actions is crucial. Lots of women don't do this. They annoy me too. However, it is pointless to expect life to run smoothly because you've followed the advice in this book.
There are not 'good men' and 'bad men'. It is not that simple. There are men with good intentions and men with bad intentions. Even men with good intentions can go awry. Intentions change. A marriage is a commitment decades long and people's intentions, needs and ability to manage vary over time.
What worries me is the effect of her words on women with life experience. It is too easy to take what Dr S says and beat yourself up for 'choosing a bad man' when actually you chose a man for all the right reasons, who appeared to want just what you did, had no obvious issues, but events down the line meant it didn't work out.
E.g.
Should we be telling the battered wife, whose husband was great for years, until he lost his job and started drinking and getting angry, that this was her fault?
Er, no. His reactions are his reactions and only he can be held responsible for them. Women are no more blessed with being able to predict the future than anyone else and should not be made to feel responsible for someone else's bad behaviour. This woman did not choose a 'bad man'. She chose a man who did not cope with what the future dealt him.
Should we be telling the single mum, battling on with three kids, that she is to blame for their father, her partner - who, let's say, was very commited for years but understandably wouldn't marry because he'd suffered his own mother's abandonment and his parents' brutal subsequent divorce as a child - moving out because he'd found someone else?
Nope. Again, women are not witches with crystal balls who can predict a man's actions and reactions through the years. This single mum should be supported and applauded. If she decides to give up on her kids too, the government will have a hefty annual care bill of £100,000+ to pay and her children will be scarred for life.
And just how is she to consider marriage/commitment with someone else following Dr Schlessinger's advice here? Hmm. Probably she'll be too caught up trying to find a way to forgive herself for choosing a 'bad man' by not insisting he marry her despite his obvious intention to stay in the relationship long term and do the best by his children, even in the worst case scenario he could imagine? Imagine the stress of trying to choose a new man, when she feels she chose a 'bad' one before?
Short sighted Dr S.
Do we all want marriage anyway? After reading this book and thinking over the marriages I have known, marriage is not always desirable. Like reading a book, marriage requires a suspension of disbelief: "it is all going to go well and this is going to be a success..." In reality, we can NEVER know this though. Life throws us into unforseen situations and events unfold around us that make people do things we never imagined they would.
Yes, take responsibility for YOUR own actions in a marriage. But remember that your other half is a seperate being who must also take responsibility for theirs. And you cannot predict what they'll do....
If you are Christian, think of it this way: God is supposed to judge us at the end of our lives (heaven/hell) by which time we have been tested in lots of ways to show how we will react. If God can only make the decision who is good/bad at this point, how can a woman decide if someone is good or bad before they've had a life to observe? Crazy.
As for this book -
Take it from me (a very well educated and independent woman - yet still a divorcee??) this is condescending drivel from an obliviously entitled and well-supported woman who does not live in the real world. Read it at your peril.
August 26, 2009
loved the insights and especially:
"you need to take on challenges you can respect yourself for" pg. 168
women experience hurt instead of anger - hurt makes you powerless - anger is energy pg. 175-176
don't assume things..."hopes, dreams, and fantasies have not power. If you want something, you must be willing to express it." pg. 182
orgins of timidity
loss of parental attachment: a crippling fear notes pg. 185
wasted and misplaced anger pg. 193-195
love how it talked about when "not choosing is easier"...sometimes not choosing is easier than changing. To avoid the pain, you've got to do something...the real challenge is confronting the realities within you. pg. 201
blinded by the pain chapter pg. 118
making men into band-aid solutions pg. 39
staying in a one-down position wears on you pg. 183
FAVORITE PARAGRAPH:
"when people take outrageous liberties, when they betray trusts, when they display ongoing total disregard for your welfare, when they use and abuse you without remorse, when they refuse to accept responsibility for any of the pain and devastation you suffer-please don't just sit there and eat, drink, take drugs, sleep, or work yourself to death to avoid the reality that they don't care." pg. 188
also enjoyed "benefit of the doubt" ideas is that it's lame, and we should wake up and see things how they are.
everyone should read this!
"you need to take on challenges you can respect yourself for" pg. 168
women experience hurt instead of anger - hurt makes you powerless - anger is energy pg. 175-176
don't assume things..."hopes, dreams, and fantasies have not power. If you want something, you must be willing to express it." pg. 182
orgins of timidity
loss of parental attachment: a crippling fear notes pg. 185
wasted and misplaced anger pg. 193-195
love how it talked about when "not choosing is easier"...sometimes not choosing is easier than changing. To avoid the pain, you've got to do something...the real challenge is confronting the realities within you. pg. 201
blinded by the pain chapter pg. 118
making men into band-aid solutions pg. 39
staying in a one-down position wears on you pg. 183
FAVORITE PARAGRAPH:
"when people take outrageous liberties, when they betray trusts, when they display ongoing total disregard for your welfare, when they use and abuse you without remorse, when they refuse to accept responsibility for any of the pain and devastation you suffer-please don't just sit there and eat, drink, take drugs, sleep, or work yourself to death to avoid the reality that they don't care." pg. 188
also enjoyed "benefit of the doubt" ideas is that it's lame, and we should wake up and see things how they are.
everyone should read this!
September 21, 2008
My father actually bought me this book towards the end of highschool- I was a rebellious girl, I felt I had to read it because he would ask me about it. Dr. Schlessinger is very conservative, but I did find some of her points helpful, and I think it may have impacted some of my decsions in college.
November 10, 2015
Ah, the curse of Chava (Eve, for those of you not familiar with the name in Hebrew.) This was a book that tried, quite mightily, to undo the curse of the weirdo mindset women have. (Cultural? Innate? A combination of both, most likely.) What she had to say was accurate, and I think all women who have heard the general lines fed to women in our society could benefit from reading this book. (I know I have.) People will only treat you as badly as you allow them to treat you. Along the same lines, I don't particularly love the harsh tones Dr. Laura uses in this book (they're directed at the reader, which means me.) I don't enjoy being spoken to that way, and while I do wonder if many women will continue to behave as dingbats if not spoken to this harshly (or at all harshly, for that matter) I do think that in a way she is continuing the cycle of being receptive to abusive, or less than pleasant/worthy behavior, that she speaks of. It doesn't make it less rude because it's coming from a woman rather than a man.
Bottom line: I like very much what she has to say, but not her attitude or tone of voice.
Bottom line: I like very much what she has to say, but not her attitude or tone of voice.
Read
June 20, 2009Read this book to see if it's a good one to give to a family member that's making some bad decisions. Even though I was reading it with her in mind, I took some things away from the book, even though I am in a healthy relationship. It made me realize that I need to grow and have goals outside of being a wife and mom- not that I feel bad at being defined that way. I still need to be progressing as a person. I didn't agree with everything she wrote in the book, and I think this was written before she was a religious convert. Overall, I think she offers smart advice to women. I know a lot of people disagree with her, but I like listening to her show when I'm in the car and think a lot of what she says makes sense. I also like that she doesn't bash men and say things to make people feel good, she tells people the truth, and sometimes thats what you need to hear.
January 25, 2011
I think this is a must read for all mothers and teen-aged daughters. It covers many topics with the desire to teach men and women how to have more joy and meaning in their relationships. I have enjoyed Dr. Schlessinger's radio show and many of her books so I had a pretty good idea what this book would entail. She covers topics like, proper courtship, passion, stupid co-habitation, expectations and so on. Unfortunately women of today have it all wrong. They think the women's movement has given them power or equal rights, the way I see it they have just trapped themselves into a corner. When it comes to power in relationships...they have none. Girls need more self-esteem, and the only way to get it is to earn it... Do the hard thing and see it through. Girls with a good sense of self worth are more likely to be choosers not beggars when it comes to relationships. And that keeps us from making stupid decisions. I could go on, but I would suggest just reading it yourself. It's an easy quick read that I feel any woman of any age could find some value in.
April 3, 2012
I Love Dr. Laura. My mom got me hooked on her show. Although sometimes Dr. Laura's views can be way out there, a lot of what she says makes sense and is the truth, which most people dont like to hear.
This book discusses all of the dumb actions we as woman make when it comes to our lives especially men. Why we continue to stay in toxic relationships and why we can't find happiness until we are happy with our own being.
I really liked the calls that Dr. Laura entwined in this book as reference and examples of what not to do or what to do. A woman can learn a lot from this boook.
**Special Thank you to my wonderful mother who gave this book to me when I was going through a very bad breakup. After reading this book i realized the breakup was actually for the best and I deserved better. Dont waste precious tears on a no good man! Thanks Mom!**
This book discusses all of the dumb actions we as woman make when it comes to our lives especially men. Why we continue to stay in toxic relationships and why we can't find happiness until we are happy with our own being.
I really liked the calls that Dr. Laura entwined in this book as reference and examples of what not to do or what to do. A woman can learn a lot from this boook.
**Special Thank you to my wonderful mother who gave this book to me when I was going through a very bad breakup. After reading this book i realized the breakup was actually for the best and I deserved better. Dont waste precious tears on a no good man! Thanks Mom!**
July 6, 2015
It sounds like people either love this book or hate it. At first glance, it does look like a cheesy and incendiary self-help book that bashes on women, but I think a lot of people choose to misunderstand it. After reading, I realized that I agree with Dr. Laura's "slap therapy" approach: you are in control of your own life, and you are the only one allowing yourself to get into and stay in bad situations. A lot of women (myself included) tend to fantasize about relationships and remain passive rather than confront reality and initiate change, and Dr. Laura is telling us to embrace change head-on. For me, "Ten Stupid Things" was a timely reminder that a fulfilling life starts with good self-esteem and individual creativity, rather than relationship status.
January 10, 2023
I agree with the content, Dr. Shlessinger conveys that females should be very self aware. They need to really look themselves in the mirror and question why they are placing themselves in positions that are not ideal.
However, the examples in this book are a little outdated. I couldn't relate to the many women's life goal of having a man, and thats it. What about examples of professionals, females who have a career, have a good head on their shoulders, who don't place themselves in awful positions.
However, the examples in this book are a little outdated. I couldn't relate to the many women's life goal of having a man, and thats it. What about examples of professionals, females who have a career, have a good head on their shoulders, who don't place themselves in awful positions.
November 16, 2008
11/3/08: I think Dr. Laura knows me personally. I started to write down all the quotes that I felt personally applied to me to a T, but then realized I was basically copying down the whole book. Since I bought a copy, I will have to re-read it with a highlighter in a hopefully-not-vain attempt to actually apply this stuff to my life. This book might become my new "bible." Though my current "bible," "He's Just Not That Into You," is definitely due for a re-read as well.
July 31, 2009
I said that I would never read a book by this woman, but for some reason I picked up this book and decided to check it out. I expected to be very critical of her views and probably angry. I was very surprised that she made way to much sense for me to even think twice about not reading it thorough to the end. I would reccommend this book to any woman who just can't seem to figure out what is wrong with all of her relationship/marriages. I am so glad that I read this book.
December 7, 2009
TCL Call #: 158.2 SCHLESSINGER
Ok, ok! I know, It's Dr. Schlessinger but I liked it. I thought all of her points were valid and pro-woman. Ultimately, she talks you out of all of the female traps that you are tempted by - what she calls the female escape route. All the things that your lazy scared self is tempted to default to. Then she demands that you live an engaged and meaningful life.
She reminds me of a no-nonsense grandma tugging on your ear saying, "Not today, missy!"
Ok, ok! I know, It's Dr. Schlessinger but I liked it. I thought all of her points were valid and pro-woman. Ultimately, she talks you out of all of the female traps that you are tempted by - what she calls the female escape route. All the things that your lazy scared self is tempted to default to. Then she demands that you live an engaged and meaningful life.
She reminds me of a no-nonsense grandma tugging on your ear saying, "Not today, missy!"
March 23, 2018
I wish someone would have given me this book before I ever started dating! It would have saved me years of trouble and heartache. Luckily, things still turned out well for me in spite of myself and all of my issues. ;-)
April 13, 2012
Dr. Laura is blunt and intelligent, which may be a turn off to those women who like to whine, play the victim, and create drama instead of working on making their lives better for themselves and by themselves. The knight in shining armor is them and not some unknown or known other person.
This book may also be a turn-off for those excuse-making people who like to live their lives revolving around the loves of their lives or even other people. That is not to say that one must become self-centered or egotistical. It is merely to emphasize that ALL people need to work on one thing before they even consider being a part of a relationship: SELF-LOVE. Even though in math 2 halves make a whole, when it comes to relationships 2 wholes--2 emotionally and intellectually healthy wholes are required for the relationship to be a success. Life is hard enough as it is. Why make it harder for yourself by being around miserable, self-centered, manipulative, immature people who lack integrity?
I'm really glad to have found this book at the library. My eldest daughter will be turning 18 in a few months and our restrictions on her dating will come to an end just as she will be starting her college career (unlike ALL of her girl/boy chasing friends, she will be attending university on a very generous scholarship that will allow Mom and Dad the privilege of not getting into debt over her college education.)
Our daughter will be embarking on a new chapter without strings pulling her back to the part of her life that will now come to a close---no children, ex-boyfriends, academic regrets, etc. Of course, she has had her ups and down, but never something that derailed her career as a student. Also, unlike a lot of boy and girl chasing male and female friends, she has clear set (though amendable) goals in mind) as she enters the final phase of her high school career. (She is already registered for college courses in the fall, has outlined her college major plan and is putting those things into motion for her college extracurriculars.) During her high school years, she was very involved in school activities and personal activities that allowed her to grow as a person in her own right. She knows and does not have to define herself by any relationship amorous or not. I am very proud of that.
Even so, I am handing this book to her and asking her to read it. Strong as she is, I realize that once she turns 18 and is in college, dating takes on a whole other level. I am hopeful that she will use her brains, her upbringing, her observations on relationships (she had many examples to observe the teen relationships of lifelong friends of both sexes) and books like this to make wise choices in who see allows to become a part of her life. Thanks Dr. Laura.
This book may also be a turn-off for those excuse-making people who like to live their lives revolving around the loves of their lives or even other people. That is not to say that one must become self-centered or egotistical. It is merely to emphasize that ALL people need to work on one thing before they even consider being a part of a relationship: SELF-LOVE. Even though in math 2 halves make a whole, when it comes to relationships 2 wholes--2 emotionally and intellectually healthy wholes are required for the relationship to be a success. Life is hard enough as it is. Why make it harder for yourself by being around miserable, self-centered, manipulative, immature people who lack integrity?
I'm really glad to have found this book at the library. My eldest daughter will be turning 18 in a few months and our restrictions on her dating will come to an end just as she will be starting her college career (unlike ALL of her girl/boy chasing friends, she will be attending university on a very generous scholarship that will allow Mom and Dad the privilege of not getting into debt over her college education.)
Our daughter will be embarking on a new chapter without strings pulling her back to the part of her life that will now come to a close---no children, ex-boyfriends, academic regrets, etc. Of course, she has had her ups and down, but never something that derailed her career as a student. Also, unlike a lot of boy and girl chasing male and female friends, she has clear set (though amendable) goals in mind) as she enters the final phase of her high school career. (She is already registered for college courses in the fall, has outlined her college major plan and is putting those things into motion for her college extracurriculars.) During her high school years, she was very involved in school activities and personal activities that allowed her to grow as a person in her own right. She knows and does not have to define herself by any relationship amorous or not. I am very proud of that.
Even so, I am handing this book to her and asking her to read it. Strong as she is, I realize that once she turns 18 and is in college, dating takes on a whole other level. I am hopeful that she will use her brains, her upbringing, her observations on relationships (she had many examples to observe the teen relationships of lifelong friends of both sexes) and books like this to make wise choices in who see allows to become a part of her life. Thanks Dr. Laura.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 6, 2014
I picked the book up to see if I could pull some insights from it / to help me understand my wife & women in general better. I didn't feel like it was condescending toward women at all - quite the opposite. The author's purpose seemed to be to inspire women to not derive their value from men, but to set high standards and goals for themselves. The chapters each deal with a pitfall women may tend to fall into. Given the number of women the author has spoken with over the course of a long radio & speaking career, I would assume these observations were pulled from repeated real-life situations.
This book helped me appreciate my wife even more while increasing my understanding of common insecurities women might possibly face.
Really good book with many entertaining & enlightening real-life stories connected to clinical observations.
This book helped me appreciate my wife even more while increasing my understanding of common insecurities women might possibly face.
Really good book with many entertaining & enlightening real-life stories connected to clinical observations.
July 23, 2011
At first, I wasn't so sure this book would have much meaning for me after reading the contents page. However, I decided to give it a try anyway. It couldn't hurt, right? Although a lot of the stories did not apply to me, there were little morsels of importance and insight that I've been needing to apply in my life. I'm so glad that I have the gospel of Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost to guide me through this life. It has kept me from some of the pain and problems some women face.
Even if you don't think this book is for you - and, even if you have never been involved in an abusive relationship - I still recommend that you read this book. You may get more out of it than you first believe.
Even if you don't think this book is for you - and, even if you have never been involved in an abusive relationship - I still recommend that you read this book. You may get more out of it than you first believe.
January 24, 2011
This is one of those books that I usually keep at the forefront of my collection for when I hear a girlfriend rant and rave about some loser she's been disappointed by. Every time I read it I'm heartened and encouraged to remember that a woman's identity isn't in a relationship, but is in who she is alone. I find it rather odd that Dr. Laura has been denounced as anti-feminist, because if those people were to read one chapter of her books, they'd read between the lines and see she's talking about female empowerment of the most basic kind: within themselves.
June 27, 2014
Let's get real. Dr. Laura is telling women the same thing we have already been telling ourselves for years, and taking all of the credit for it. Her explanations are short and blunt and lazy.
Another issue- Dr. Laura clumps men into one stereotype in this book- not just the women. The only advice I received from it was, men are chauvinistic pigs and women are stupid. I guess if you fall into that stereotype you probably love this book. Her intent was to brainwash dumb people even more...good job Dr. Laura.
The chicks that really needed this advice- Probably didn't take it.
Another issue- Dr. Laura clumps men into one stereotype in this book- not just the women. The only advice I received from it was, men are chauvinistic pigs and women are stupid. I guess if you fall into that stereotype you probably love this book. Her intent was to brainwash dumb people even more...good job Dr. Laura.
The chicks that really needed this advice- Probably didn't take it.
April 8, 2018
Degrading tone, condemns people talking smack about people, just think her opinions are right and look down on everyone else. Have nothing important to say, just bulshitting. Narcissist. Shitting out books like it's Cristmas. How anyone can be married to her is a mystery. I guess it was easier to get famous a couple of decades ago.
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