Unlocking the Secrets of Your Childhood Memories

by Kevin Leman, Randy Carlson

Looks at the connection between childhood memories and present-day personality traits

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Philosophy, Christian

288 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1989

About the author

Dr. Kevin Leman, an internationally known psychologist, radio and television personality, and speaker, has taught and entertained audiences worldwide with his wit and commonsense psychology. The best-selling and award-winning author has made house calls for hundreds of radio and television programs, including The View with Barbara Walters, The Today Show, Oprah, CBS's The Early Show, Live with Regis Philbin, CNN's American Morning, and LIFE Today with James Robison, and he has served as a contributing family psychologist to Good Morning America. He is the founder and president of Couples of Promise, an organization designed and committed to helping couples remain happily married. Dr. Leman is also a charter faculty member of iQuestions.com. He has written over 30 best-selling books about marriage and family issues, including The Birth Order Book and Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage. Dr. Leman and his wife, Sande, live in Tucson. They have five children.

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Reviews

[Matt · Rating 2 out of 5]

Written by two physiologists, this book explores how childhood memories (or lack thereof) can (in)form the people we become. I have my doubts about this basic premise and it seems more likely to me that our temperament, psyche, disposition and character in life causes us to retain selective memories of our childhood that validate our individual personality. Either way, the final conclusion of the book is that we have the ability to latch onto whichever memories we want, focus on them, and it will change the way we view ourselves and those around us. For example, (and there are many, many examples ad naseum in this book), if I were to focus on a traumatic event in my childhood, like the fear I felt when I was forgotten by my parents at a gas station for two hours while on a family vacation, (this never happened) then today, it may cause me to distrust people and hate gas stations. If I chose, on the other hand, to focus on the joy I felt that same day at my newly found liberation from the ever watchful eyes of adults and how much fun I had talking to the gas station customers, I might find myself reformed into a very trustful extrovert who loves making visits to gas stations. All in all, if I had done my usual research before reading this book, I probably could have found a different, more current, book on this subject that would have contained less cornball antidotes and tawdry personal stories. Worthwhile subject, should have been written by a real author and not two wanna-be Dr. Phil-type physiologists talking about themselves in the third person.

[Evil Secret Ninja · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book upset me I found the advice to be out of date and if the person has a lot of trauma it could be dangerous. I would suggest that it be done with a therapist taking some of the advice out of the equation. I don't think rethinking abuse would be helpful. If someone has a relatively good childhood it would be more helpful.

[Venous · Rating 5 out of 5]

با خواندن این کتاب آنچه از کودکی تا حال بر شما گذشته را بررسی کنید.

[J. Ewbank · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an interessting book. Even tried out some of the ways in which the authors suggest that you can find some of the secrets of your childhood memories. Still have some of the typed pages that I wrote in answer to some of the questions of the book.

This is a book that is well worth the read for those interested in learning more about themselves and are interested in psychology. It is not a book of psychology at all but only some concepts about it and suggestions for learning more about it.

Well worth the read.

J. Robert Ewbank author "John Wesley, Natural Man, and the 'Isms'"

[Apryl Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

After all the other do-it-yourself psychology books that I've been rereading 10yrs on, here's one that's not going in the fire.

"The unexamined life isn't worth living." Here's a good way to start probing...



Oh, and it doesn't have to be just the painful memories. What's the earliest thing you can remember? Keep going, what else? It tells me so much about who I really was created to be (before I got distracted).

[Elizabeth Gibbs · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend this book to everyone that is mature enough to understand how memories can affect our lives. Dr. Leman and Mr. Carlson give a few easy. step-by-step instructions on how to approach negative childhood memories, how to find the adult truths in those early memories, and how you can free yourself from the negative impact they have caused so far in your life. They also discuss parenting and have suggestions for making memories with your children now.

[Cheryl · Rating 1 out of 5]

I had to put it down after a fair trial because of the preaching. It had some very interesting exercises to bring forward the memories of childhood, but after that, I think you can benefit on your own without being pushed to get God in the picture.

[Joanne G. · Rating 3 out of 5]

This wasn't as informative as his birth order book, but I gleaned helpful insights. I had never stopped to think why a child retains some memories and not others, and it was a revelation to me that we tend to remember those things that reinforce who we see ourselves as.