Growing Up Firstborn

by Kevin Leman

Outlines the traits of firstborn children and explains how they can overcome debilitating perfectionism, overwork, and depression and improve relationships

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help

280 pages, Hardcover

First published October 1, 1989

About the author

Dr. Kevin Leman, an internationally known psychologist, radio and television personality, and speaker, has taught and entertained audiences worldwide with his wit and commonsense psychology. The best-selling and award-winning author has made house calls for hundreds of radio and television programs, including The View with Barbara Walters, The Today Show, Oprah, CBS's The Early Show, Live with Regis Philbin, CNN's American Morning, and LIFE Today with James Robison, and he has served as a contributing family psychologist to Good Morning America. He is the founder and president of Couples of Promise, an organization designed and committed to helping couples remain happily married. Dr. Leman is also a charter faculty member of iQuestions.com. He has written over 30 best-selling books about marriage and family issues, including The Birth Order Book and Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage. Dr. Leman and his wife, Sande, live in Tucson. They have five children.

Connect with Dr. Leman on:
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Reviews

[Joshua Swieringa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was helpful to understand more is my strengths and weaknesses. It is easy to see my weaknesses and this book helped me to understand why and gave some awareness to me so that I can help to grow in these areas. Kevin didn’t use much Scripture, but did point out that Good is the one to strengthen us for personal changes. You some have an excuse to remain in your “weaknesses” because there are some practical tools that will help you change.

[Margaret · Rating 3 out of 5]

A readable, humorous overview of some traits and issues of being first in birth order.

[Michael Lortz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting book. Written in the late 1980s so a lot of the references are dated. Makes me wonder how research on the subject has evolved.

[Nancy Bandusky · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a book that will be beneficial for any parent - for every parent has a first born child.

Despite the title, this book can also give insight into other children because they may have similar characteristics despite not being the author's described "firstborn." Any help a parent can receive for "understanding" a child (regardless of birth order) will assist both the child and the parent.

One aspect that quickly grew tiresome was the author's constant qualifiers. He claims the traits described are "firstborn" traits - except when they aren't. He suggests marriages could be better if the birth order of the potential spouses are considered - except when that might not apply.

[Aleisha Zolman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Today was a school holiday and so while my husband worked a three hour shift I shopped at my favorite thrift stores. I found this paperback title for $1. Published in 1989, it hit a needed vein of validation for some of my more obvious (read annoying) personality traits. The biggest one I am dealing with right now is what Dr. Leman calls "discouraged perfectionist". I am not finishing my Masters Thesis because I just know it won't be perfect. If you are a firstborn or married to one or raising one I would recommend this book!

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

My parents gave this book to me 30 years ago so I could better understand myself. What a gift! I am married to a first born and I believe that has been powerful because we know each other so intimately due to this BOND. We have a similar way of acting in the world. Re-reading this book in midlife brought many significant insights. I believe birth order really does make a difference in who we are and how we operate!

[Leta-Kaye · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mom picked this up for a quarter, so I thought I'd give it a shot. Although outdated, this book was an interesting self-awareness type read. Nothing shocking, but plenty to contemplate. Particularly I liked the section on Strive For Excellence, Not Perfection. Nobody scores an 18 at golf. And that's OK!

[Pamela]

Interesting insight into behaviors, some positive behaviors and others admittedly not so proud of but at least now feel like a bit of an explanation ... okay that is why I do that or a sibling responds the way they do.
listened to it many years ago as a book on cassette (think I picked up the at flea market)

[Ginger · Rating 5 out of 5]

It ain't easy being green.......or firstborn.....or the middle child.....or the baby of the family. Helped me understand more about why I am the way I am since I'm the firstborn and some things will always be the same like birth order. Suggest other firstborns read it for sure!!

[Denise · Rating 1 out of 5]

Lots of "read my other book(s)" hints...and glowing reports of how many talk shows the author has been on. Rambling text...jumping from one anecdote to another.

This isn't a serious, scientific book. Just a lot of "mumbo-jumbo". Very disappointed and bored.

[Jan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this book the first time I read it and have used it as a reference over and over again. As my husband and I are both "firstborns" I found the insites into our personalities to be right on and quite interesting.. and maybe just a wee bit scary!!

[Elaine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing look at family placement. Good psychology read.

[Philip · Rating 4 out of 5]

Insanely accurate and explains alot even with variations in birth order. Now we know why our family has (DRIVEN)... insane members.

[Mel · Rating 5 out of 5]

It rings true!