Planet Samur was once a peaceful haven. Pilgrims journeyed across the seven galaxies to meditate in the courtyards of the vast Citadel that spanned its equator. It was Samur’s misfortune, however, to find itself situated on the furthermost frontier in the eternal war between the amoeboid Rutan Host and the belligerent, troll-like Sontarans…
Twenty years after detonating a bacteriological weapon over Samur, rendering it uninhabitable, the Sontarans are back: a select platoon of seven has landed here on a secret mission, carrying sealed orders given to them by Fleet Marshal Stabb.
The TARDIS has landed here, too, bringing the Doctor, Tegan, Turlough and Nyssa into the second great Battle of Samur. Fighting not only the Sontarans, but mystical mercenaries… and a deadly, decades-old curse.
Alan Barnes is a British writer and editor, particularly noted for work in the field of cult film and television. Barnes served as the editor of Judge Dredd Megazine from 2001 until December 2005, during which time the title saw a considerable increase in the number of new strip pages. Among other strips, Barnes originally commissioned The Simping Detective. He also wrote a handful of Judge Dredd stories involving alternate universes or featuring a young Dredd.
He worked for five years at Doctor Who Magazine and progressed from writing strips to becoming joint editor in 1998 and sole editor from 2000 until 2002. He subsequently contributed the ongoing Fact of Fiction series of articles to the magazine. Barnes has also written or co-written a number of Doctor Who audio plays for Big Finish Productions.
He has written a number of books on cult films (including James Bond, Quentin Tarantino and Sherlock Holmes) and his book The Hammer Story, co-written with Marcus Hearn, was nominated for the Bram Stoker Award for Best Non-Fiction in 1997.
I was a bit bored. Teegan was fairly funny, but it felt more like a pastiche or tribute than an actual 5th doctor story. The enemy was a bit dull and the plot was very light.
If there is one thing to learn from this story, it’s that Alan Barnes doesn’t understand the Sontarans.
This threatening, war-like race is entirely incompetent in this story. They are played for laughs during the entire audio. From cringe jokes like the Sontarans being sexist and somehow having genders themselves (even though they should have no concept of genders), to a Sontaran who had his tongue cut out during his time as a prisoner of war being used as a comedy bit because he can’t speak anymore and just makes weird noises now. It’s just sad really.
The Sontarans just don’t feel like Sontarans. They feel more like those quirky guards in “Paradise Towers” that are sticklers for rules to a fault. As emphasized by the gag where the Sontarans cannot shoot the Doctor unless three Sontarans are present. Nothing interesting about Sontaran society is explored, even though the beginning is set on Sontar. The idea of the Sontarans with more scars being the more respected ones is a great idea, I'll admit, but Barnes managed to make even that concept into a joke!
I haven’t even mentioned the rest of the audio yet which is also pretty poor. The admittedly creepy side-villains and the super important elements of the Sontaran curse aren’t even introduced until well over the halfway point of the story. Yet, somehow, this episode is also VERY padded for runtime. Just so Barnes can just write in as many jokes about the Sontarans as he can. Over 40% of the episode could be cut out entirely and you wouldn’t miss much.
Even the main cast couldn’t save this episode. Nyssa is just bland and has nothing to do. Tegan is particularly loud, stupid, and annoying, and everyone seems to have it out for Turlough for some reason. I don’t even like Turlough, but I started feeling bad for him here. Every line of dialogue about Turlough, whether it’d be his friends talking about him behind his back, or talking right to his face, was just a slight at him as a person.
Honestly, there is just nothing to love about this episode.
A Sontaran story that involves the Doctor and the TARDIS crew teaming up with the Sontarans to save themselves against an evil ghostly presence on the planet Samur. This one is just so fun and all the Sontarans are so interesting and flawed. All the companions (Tegan, Nyssa and Turlough) have something to do here and are great, the Doctor even has a fight with a Sontaran commander which is a really funny scene. And the way the villain is defeated was set up early in the story and was really satisfying. This is my favourite Sontaran story now.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
This could have been so much better if played completely for laughs... Twelve ghosts of Witchguard Christmas, a planet overrun with mistletoe, Rutans speaking in rhyme... A cross between Blackadder and Scrooge, basically. Would have been a lot of fun. What we have is also fun, but the parody mood of the first half clashes with the serious turn at the end.
Nice voice acting anyway, and the over-the-top militaristic soundtrack fits very nicely here.
I don’t know why I bought this thinking I might love it. The Sontarans have hardly done much for me in general, and this wasn’t very engaging or entertaining to me. Apparently this was the first Big Finish appearance for the Sontarans. Saving grace is the inclusion of an older Nyssa, and you might be surprised (or not) what she names her son.
I note that some other reviewers have complained that the Sontarans come across as uncharacteristically daft in this story and I have to admit that I also had the same feeling while listening, however I enjoyed it thoroughly regardless.
I've always loved the Fifth Doctor. He was definitely an old soul in a young body. And he also had my favourite classic who companion. Tegan Jovanka mouth on legs
A fun short read. You gotta give the Sontarons points for being the loudest, short group of warriors in space. But the Doctor prevailed as he always does.
This Fifth Doctor story features a Sontaran platoon trapped on a hostile planet with mysterious sealed orders. While I'd hesitate to describe the story as a comedy, there is a fair bit of humour in it, with the Sontarans coming in for ridicule (especially from Tegan). Indeed, it has to be said that there's more than a touch of Dad's Army about the platoon, even to the extent that a couple of catchphrases from that show make an appearance.
There is, in fairness, a sound reason why the platoon is more incompetent than one might expect, although obviously it does play into the general trend in some TV episodes of portraying the Sontarans as a bit of a joke. And, while there is some focus on the alien soldiers, both Tegan and Turlough get a fair number of scenes in which they can shine, and have at least as much to do as the Doctor does. Nyssa, unfortunately, spends a significant amount of time being too ill to do much, but even she gets some good character moments, especially towards the end, and isn't entirely left out of things.
The main villain, the Witch Guard, is harder to make sense of, and is initially described as being far more frightening than it really turns out to be; for the most part, it's better when it isn't actually present, or is only hinted at, hiding in the shadows.
Overall, though, it's a good story, with plenty of humour and some good one-liners. I suspect how other people will react to it will depend largely on how well the idea of "comedy Sontaran" sits with them. The platoon members aren't exactly Strax, but they aren't Styre (from The Sontaran Experiment), either. Although the latter does get a name-check...
I was initially surprised, and somewhat put off, by how much this audio played the Sontarans for laughs. Eventually, there turn out to be good plot reasons for this. The story still felt like a somewhat uneasy mixture, though, with the bumbling and comic Sontarans coming up against the Witch Guards, who seem to have wandered in from some entirely more epic story. (The Witch Guards, on initial description, sound really, really, badass - deflecting energy beams with their swords and decimating whole armies of invading Sontarans between the seven of them. I was sorry that by the end they'd kind of just turned into another megalomaniacal gestalt entity with ambitions to conquer the universe.)
To the story's credit, it's well-paced and entertaining, and writer Alan Barnes does an admirable job handling the full TARDIS crew of Tegan, Turlough, and Nyssa, even if Tegan is a bit more shoe-obsessed than I'd prefer. And there's a very touching scene between Tegan and Nyssa when Nyssa thinks she's dying that made me choke up a bit. But I wanted more maniacal alien swordsmen.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Heroes of Sontar, by the reliable Alan Barnes, is the better story of the two. At first it seems a rather peculiar and not necessarily successful attempt at a humorous twist on the Sontarans, as a bunch of deadbeat veterans are sent on a mysterious mission to a planet deep in Rutan space. But this being Alan Barnes, all is not what it seems, and Janet Fielding and Mark Strickson in particular get some good moments as Tegan and Turlough as the Tardis team work out the awful truth behind the apparent absence of sentient life on the planet. Poor Sarah Sutton is not as well served as the older Nyssa, though she gets some sentimental moments with tegan near the end, and I was not wild about the characterisation of the Doctor. But I was much more impressed by Barnes' ringing of the changes on the Sontarans here than by, say, Colin Brake's retake on the Judoon.
The Sontorans are featured for the first time in a Big Finish production. The author decided to make this group of Sontorans very dumb. Single minded and obsessed I can agree with . But, they were not this brainless in the original series that these audio adventures are based on .
As far as the TARDIS crew, Peter Davison is still true to his portrayal of 5. Mark Strickson does not sound at all like his younger self . I am not sure if he can't recreate the voice or is trying to go for something different . Sarah sutton 's differences in her portrayal of Nyssa are a part of the story arch. Janet Fielding!s portrayal of Teagan is much as she originally portrayed her character. I am Not do sure that she would have been this shoe obsessed though.
The story itself was average. The interviews at the end are worth listening to.
Five, Nyssa, Tegan and Turlogh encounter a bunch of unusually stupid Sontarans on a deserted planet which they later discover was carpet-bombed with virulent chemical agent in order to destroy a terrible foe.
It's a simple story, well told with lots of humour; Tegan actually didn't get on my nerves in this one, her one-liners at the expense of the short, potato-like warriors were fab.
This isn't one of my favourite TARDIS teams - I sometimes find it's one companion too many - and I tend to prefer the Five and Nyssa/Peri stories, but on the whole this one worked for me.
This audio was a lot of fun. With the big soundtrack, it's fun to imagine it as a classic episode with a big budget. Funny at times, and thrilling. I always had a great affection for Five, and it's awesome to have these new stories to listen to. And a better written story than some of those they got at the first go so many years ago
I listened to this one on a train so I'm afraid I might not have given it my full attention, as the weather was lovely and the sights pretty. I do remember getting a bit grumpy about the Sontarans being treated as comic relief once again but of course that got its explanation later on.
Maybe one day I shall come back...revisit and re-evaluate. For now I pronounce it "good enough".
The Doctor takes his friends to the peaceful citadel planet, Samur. But they find it deserted. Suddenly, seven Sontarans arrive on a mission so secret, even they don't know it.