Don't Tell Me The Truth About Love

by Dan Rhodes

A chance encounter prompts an ageing professor to regret a lifetime of wasted opportunities; a beautiful wife tests her husband by making herself hideous; for the love of a girl, a boy turns himself into a violoncello.

Funny, magical and strange, in these seven short stories Dan Rhodes lays bare the pain and enchantment of love.

Genres: Short Stories, Fiction, Romance

208 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2001

About the author

It should be noted that a recent Gallup poll revealed that there are an estimated 14,000 writers worldwide who share Rhodes’ name. He is not to be confused with the Daniel Rhodes who writes books about vampires, or the Daniel Rhodes who writes books about ceramics, or the Dan Rhodes who writes books about theology, or the Danny Rhodes who writes teenage fiction, or the character Sheriff Dan Rhodes in Bill Crider’s Western detective series, or any of the many other Dan/Daniel/Danny Rhodeses out there in bookland.

Reviews

[Jasmine · Rating 3 out of 5]

So a year ago or maybe two I was sitting at a bar with this guy who use to come over to my apartment when he was drunk and depressed. He was lecturing me about how if I didn't lose weight, put on make up and wear revealing clothing I was never going to find a worthwhile man. I responded with that idiotic thing people say that basically means if they don't love me despite how I look I don't want them. another friend of mine who was there (also male) said if you aren't going to exploit being hot in your twenties when are you ever going to get the chance. I bring this up not just to tell a weird story but because the most interesting story in the book is about this. The last story is about how you can never know if someone loves you unless you are butt ugly and annoying and smelly because they might be there for some other reason. I mean I would never take it that far, and I never meant it the way that girl did, I meant it more along the lines of the guys I get along with like a girl who wears cargoes. But this story it really says what is the point of love. I think the Cassandra Clare books quote things that show this "To love is to destroy" (the mortal instruments) and "beauty is harsh" (from the infernal devices).

Now I asked on karen's group for an adult book about love, and I sort of mis-associated that with sex, which even I know is basically irrelevant (although in this book people have sex it just isn't described and that helps) But really I think the meaningful lesson of adult love is that, well adult love doesn't tend to be all that much like love. The fact is loving someone as an adult is about ignoring someone(as nick hornby tells us most men are able to get married because their girlfriends forget to dump them), it's about pain (no one can ever hurt us like the ones we love), it's about inconvenience (we have to do what is asked of us by that person to continue the relationship), and most of all sometimes it isn't about loving at least not in the traditional way.

For children and teens there is a belief in love that is everlasting that is everything love was ever suppose to be in the fairy tales, that "someday my prince will come". And this comes off in waves in a lot of books for those ages in waves, that love conquers all that love wins that it doesn't matter that we can't be together in the end we will. That's not real life.

So I talked about in that other review, my ex, who is on some levels a terrible person and he knows it, and I said all the reasons he was wrong and is wrong and needed to go. But in real life in adult life that doesn't mean anything as far as love is concerned. Nick Hornby talk about how it's possible to wake up one morning and realize that you no longer love someone that you've loved for 20 years and you have to figure out what to do about that. I've had that happen in real life too, not the 20 years but I had someone who was obsessed stop loving me after a year with no transition period even for him. I've stopped loving someone after 4 years. I've had someone who thought they could love me decide that after about a month he wasn't interested in dating because he had things he wanted to do with his life and loving me would make those decisions harder for him. I don't say these things as a pity party or a problem. I'm not depressed about them, but they do color what I can look at and say that's real life.

I don't look at "true love" and go "that's nice", I look at characters that say "I must have them or I shall die" and say "get over it" as Dan Savage says there is no "one right person" but there are plenty of "right people". I look at the real world and I say love it's not about the emotions or about trusting your heart in real life it's practical, it's conditional, if it didn't have conditions would it be better? would it mean anything? I don't really know, but I know that I'm never going to sit down and say, "it's him or nothing" I know I'm never going to say, "I'll love you no matter what" and mean the romantic kind of love. I mean yes you can love someone no matter what, but that isn't the kind of love relationships are based on.

This book is about people who really don't understand that at all it's about people who think that they can love someone through everything and that that is the only love that is real. people who think it is better to love someone forever who will never love them then to move on and find something new. people who become obsessives, people who become objects, people who become nothing, because they can't get over some idea of how to truly love someone else.

In reality it's all really too bad.

[Eeva · Rating 3 out of 5]

tuntuu tosi haastavalta arvostella tätä :D tavallaan mukaansatempaava ja hauska ku tavallaan satuja mut kuitenkin ihan aikuisten kirjallisuutta (takakannessaki verrattu Grimmin veljeksiin). en lue hirveesti tälläsii kokoelmia, täs oli 7 eri novellia.

nää novellit tuntu aika samanlaisilta loppujen lopuksi ja kaikkien teema oli jotenkin tosi samanlainen? mut ehkä se on osa vaikeutta tän arvostelussa et en tiedä onko ok moittia onnetonta rakkautta käsittelevää novellikokoelmaa siitä että kaikki novellit käsitteli onnetonta rakkautta.

sit toinen ja ehkä isompi haaste: en tainnu ihan erottaa et mikä kaikki täs oli ironiaa tai yhteiskuntakritiikkiä? tarinoiden juonet ja esim naishahmojen kuvailut oli melko kliseisiä, ja en meinannu hahmottaa et kenelle kussakin tarinassa ns kuittaillaan. ehkä ei kenellekään, mut kun nää oli kuitenkin satujen muodossa niin tekee mieli ettiä tarinan opetus. vikassa tarinassa esim en tiedä oliko opetus se että pitää rakastaa vaimoaan vaikka hän "lihoisi nelinkertaiseksi ja haisisi hirveältä" vai se, ettei pidä lihoa ja haista jos on naimisissa? XD täytyy ehkä mennä tän jälkeen sivistymään tonne muiden arvioihin et jos joku on päässyt syvimmän olemuksen pariin.

bonusmaininta: miks tuntuu et viime aikoina jokaisessa kirjassa johon oon tarttunut on jossain kohtaa juonikuvio, jossa keski-ikäinen miesproffa rakastuu erittäin nuoreen naisopiskelijaansa? vapauttakaa minut tästä kirouksesta

[Giovanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

The short stories contained within this book were wonderful to read. A few of them were quite silly, but always very charming. I especially loved the stories "Landfill" and "Glass eye". What I loved most was how each story seemed to focus on unconditional love. The story of the boy who turned himself into a violin was heartbreaking. I recommend this to everyone who enjoys short stories and a little bit of love :) (beware though, not always a happy ending!)

[Heta · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ensinnäkin, olen ehkä tarpeettoman ankara, koska Rhodes oli lempikirjailijoitani teininä, ja vertaan nyt lukemaani silloiseen lukukokemukseeni, enkä tyhjään tauluun. Toisekseen, pidän edelleen Rhodesin tyylistä: vaikka novellit ovat lyhyitä ja joskus sisältävät jopa maagisia tai vähintäänkin jollain tavalla absurdeja maailmoja, hän pystyttää puitteet nopeasti, helposti ja uskottavasti. Kaikki tarinat ovat jollain tavalla jopa sadunomaisia, vähintään liioittelun myötä, jota lukija kuitenkaan ei kyseenalaista, koska se sopii tyyliin niin hyvin. Dramaattisuus ja kohtalokkuus vetoaa ainakin minuun. Kolmanneksi, voi tietenkin olla, että Rhodes on hyvin tietoisesti kirjoittanut niin kuin on kirjoittanut eikä hänen sanomaansa pitäisi ottaa kirjaimellisesti.

Mutta: voin lievästi pahoin luettuani tämän kirjan. Siitä nyt olen melko varma ja kirjan nimikin siihen toki viittaa, että monessakaan tarinassa ei puhuta rakkaudesta, vaikka puhutaankin rakkaudesta, vaan niissä puhutaan hullaantumisesta, jopa pakkomielteestä, ja nimenomaan ihastumisesta kuvitelmaan, itse rakennettuun kuvaan jostakin ihmisestä, jota ei oikeasti tunne. Kaikki hahmot nimittäin "rakastuvat palavasti" nähtyään vain vilauksen tunteidensa kohteesta; joskus tuo kohde ei ole edes oikeasti olemassa. Koskaan heillä ei ole mitään oikeaa ihmissuhdetta tunteidensa kohteeseen, vaan he ylistävät tämän ulkoista kauneutta ja sisäistä suloisuutta, koska nämä nyt sattuvat olemaan naisia ja tavallisen kohteliaita.

Hullaantuja on nimittäin aina mies ja tunteiden kohde nainen, ja nämä kaikki naiset ovat upeimpia olentoja maan päällä. Varmasti tässä kaavassa näkyy se (epätosi, jopa haitallinen) ajatus, että oma rakastettu näyttää aina kaikkein kauneimmalta, mutta siitä tulee myös vahvasti sellainen vaikutelma, että naisen tärkein ominaisuus on näyttää kauniilta. Toiseksi tärkeintä on olla sävyisä, eli alistuva ja täyttää miehen tarpeet - kun Lasisilmät-novellissa nainen näyttää epävarmuutensa ja vihansa, lumous särkyy ja poika näkeekin hänet yhtäkkiä hirveän rumana eikä rakasta häntä enää.

Jos miehet tietävätkin naisista jotain, he sivuuttavat sen täysin. Heillä ei käy mielessäkään, mitä nainen haluaa ja tuntee. He keskittyvät vain omaan tunteeseensa ja tarpeeseensa viettää aikaa naisen kanssa haluamallaan tavalla. Tämä on varmasti tietoista kirjailijalta eivätkä nämä hahmot saakaan tahtoaan läpi. Silti pelkään, että tästä kaavasta voi syntyä kuva, että lukijan tulisi surra miehen kohtaloa, miten se on niin traaginen, kun hänen "puhtaaseen rakkauteensa" ei vastata, vaikka kirjailijan tavoite on toivottavasti ollut osoittaa päinvastaista.

Pieniä asioita, joista tuli erityisen paha olo, ja täytyy vain toivoa, että nämä ovat ironisesti kirjoitettuja:
- Ensimmäisen sivun lainaus. Tämäkö on kirjailijan käsitys miehestä vai mikä tämän tarkoitus on? Miehekästä on käyttää väkivaltaa ja purkaa tunteensa heikoimpiin olentoihin?
- Ainakin kaksi naishahmoa kuvaillaan alaikäisiksi, mutta heitä seksualisoidaan ehkä kaikkein eniten.
- Kaikki naisten asut "jättävät" milloin mitkäkin ruumiinosat miehen katseelle avoimiksi ja "paljastavat" myös allensa peittämän vartalon muodot. Ne on vaatteita. Pitäisi ilmeisesti pukeutua säkkiin, että ei tyrkyttäisi itseään tuijotettavaksi...
- Novellissa "Kaunis Consuela" oli paljon fyysistä ja henkistä väkivaltaa, joka esitettiin kuitenkin suloisena kiukutteluna.

[David Gallagher · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you are looking for happy endings, Rhodes is not your man. Three stars for this book seem sorta low, but 4 stars seem sorta high. Either way, 3 it is.

I have to say I'm mildly disappointed. I know Rhodes can do much better. His quirkiness and style are there, but I felt as though something was missing. Still - these stories touch many sensitive subjects, most often the one of unrequited love. I also loved the fact that in every story some sort of music or musical instrument was involved - like maybe, in a parallel universe, all the stories took place at the same time; or that the people in each story were the same two people in different situations. My favorite stories were Violoncello and Beautiful Consuela.

Overall, this is a beautiful and easy read for anyone who doesn't want to be told the truth about love.

[Claire · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed the stories in this collection for their whimsy and clever way of turning love stories tropes on their heads. The over-arching theme of the stories seemed to be solely the beauty of women and how it entrances and entraps male suitors. Something about this theme started to annoy me by the end of the collection; perhaps because I wanted the women featured in the stories to be more than just physically beautiful. While I think the point the author was trying to male was that falling in love for physical beauty alone will ultimately damage those involved, I would have preferred more fleshed and developed female characters.

[Sally Whitehead · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a rule I'm not a fan of short stories and very rarely read them, certainly not in one sitting as a "book full".

But this is Dan Rhodes isn't it? As I said in my review of "Little Hands Clapping"...or was it "Gold"? He can do no wrong in my eyes.

Personally I find his style (part quirky fairytale, part magic realism, part indefinable) absolutely encapsulating.

[Merissa K. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Made up of seven stories, each carefully crafted and beautifully written, i was left in awe upon completing each chapter. And this glorious book provided 7 rounds of those feeling.

A bit of context - i’ve been devouring this book on a campsite on the beach, enjoyed with a (few) cup of coffee(s) in the morning until i finished the final lines around a bonfire ; all the while with the sound of waves accompanying each sentence i read. It is perfectly complementary of the setting, and ties up the moments nicely.

This is a beautiful gift from Rhodes, it’s the first of his artwork that i’ve tried. His gift of storytelling and the plot twists/endings are just incredible - for most bits, i didn’t see the coming at all.

His stories are super original : an ambitious architect who found that his youth betrayed him; a guy who faced unrequited love with a celloist deciding he will change himself into a cello to be stroked and loved by her; an old witchlike (but also nymphlike) one-eyed lover who insisted her young lover should have an eyeball removed to match hers; neighbour love rivalry; a beautiful young girl who loves the landfill; an enchanting painting of the perfect most beautiful woman that killed by means of her beauty; and the extent of a wife’s insecurity in her craving for the husband’s love.

Each of them was told in a way that i’ve not had a story told to me before. Simply incredible. Rarely do i rate a book a 5, but this for sure deserves the high rating!

[Chloe · Rating 4 out of 5]

I started reading this with the intent that it be a last read before donating it to our local secondhand book shop but found I couldn't. Rhodes has a way with the mess in relationships that he deals with in an absolutely fantatical way. Not all stories hit home with me, but many did in a way I couldn't let go of.

[Veerle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bizarre verhalen over de interpretatie van liefde. Soms iets te onwerkelijk waardoor je hoopt dat mensen niet zo liefde ervaren. Maar ook mooie verhalen over hoe je op andere manieren liefde kunt geven aan een passie of aan een levenswerk.

Wederom een boek met korte verhalen wat makkelijk te pakken is en weer weg kan leggen

[Kate · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not my favorite Dan Rhodes.

[LizzardTales · Rating 3 out of 5]

great collection of shorts, some more memorable than others. first two super stuck with me, but not in a good way

[Summer Sheng · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF just couldn’t get into it

[Gabriel Shapiro · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love everything I have read by Dan Rhodes. He is a brilliantly creative writer and his prose is beautiful.

[Michael Palkowski · Rating 3 out of 5]

Incredibly dark, pensive and sad while maintaining an insanity which is intensely funny when done correctly. This is essentially what "Anthropology" could have been had Rhodes stretched the various micro sketch plots presented in the book into short stories. The fable like quality of the storytelling method and the characters unwitting naively in the face of delirious visions of mythological forever lasting love, give it that extra touch of brilliance. It exudes Kafkaesque bureaucratic comedy and pushes it to extremes with tons of macabre, working on traditionalist understandings of relationships and extremism in love. The inherent irrationality and chaotic destruction of monogamous bonds meets generational fables to some great effect. It feels over done at times and goes too far with the idea being presented to the reader in a childlike way, but this is obviously part of the charm. A clear highlight is the cello story which seems like a short cartoon but is clearly composed from some kind of sardonic pessimism but then you realize this is probably a common sequence of thoughts many of us have had before about unrequited love. "Landfill" is absolutely crushing and deliberately structured to destroy it's reader. I think Rhodes get's intense pleasure out of this type of schadenfreude, hence why each story involves intense impulsive suffering with enchantment.

With all this said however, there is no escaping the dainty development and the fact that some of the stories simply don't work very well but what saves each and every one is that he creates inimitable quirky worlds.

I have now officially read all of Rhodes' published works but as I mentioned previously in my "Marry me" review, I think his style and trademarks work better in longer form with the right simmering and character development, usually in the form of a journey alongside standard coming of age narratives. Although I can appreciate his shorter sketches and work, this feels secondary to me.

A secondary comment about the book itself: Cannongate does a good job publishing books with very readable font sizes and nearly all their catalog uses the same printing method which is a small point but often makes reading less arduous.

[Nick Davies · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this book up cheap from Amazon on the strength of having really enjoyed 'Anthropology' by the same author, and this was similarly brilliant as well. A collection of seven stories about love, these are written with beauty and innovation and an incredible gift for sensitive observation of ordinary people and extraordinary feelings. Quirky, playful and funny, but also saddening and bleak in places - many of the endings are not 'happy endings', and the final story poses incredibly important questions about long-term relationships and self-identity.

The shortness of the book and the shortness of some of the stories posed a slight problem for me, however, which is why this is not a five star review. I know this is slightly unfair because I got a lot of enjoyment out of the 190 pages in the book, and I know the brevity is a stylistic and artistic choice not a matter of laziness or a lack of things to say.. but I was left wanting more and feeling slightly short-changed (despite the little I paid for the book). This, I acknowledge, is a fault of the format - not of Dan Rhodes's writing per se - but I generally prefer the longer development period of a novel for these reasons.

[Michael Vagnetti · Rating 2 out of 5]

A manual of love story archetypes with fable genes: journeys, dreams, transformations, strangers, etc., along with some Grimm-like elements of viciousness. Pop-irony approach undermines any gains from the uneasiness; feels like a lack of commitment/insincere. Or, a strategy at to only be half-funny. Perhaps related: I kept feeling like the author was, subconsciously, apologizing for the writing.

The style is speed over texture, but I felt driven forward in a vanillamobile.

Too short, too deliberate: seven stories on the same theme is not sporting enough for me. I want a multi-elemental quiver.

"Landfill" flexes, though. Tear the pages for this one out, and throw the rest in the hopper. A little water-bug of a book, skimming over somebody else's business.

[Lena · Rating 4 out of 5]

A collection of short stories about relationships and love. Quite a palatable read for many reasons -- the size of the fonts (very important for first impression) the simple sentences and easy-to-follow plots. But I guess the simplicity of it all foregrounds irony - that the truth is often unpalatable and unpleasant.

I particularly love "Landfill" but I can't really articulate why. It's probably irrational, like what love and emotions suppose to be.

[Yuli · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fabulous short stories about love! They are either sad, funny, strange or (mostly) a mixture of them all. The way Dan Rhodes could extend the perception of love into the absurd is very intriguing. Everyone who has ever fallen in love, or think that they have, should read this book (well I guess that's almost about everyone!).

[Sam Grove · Rating 4 out of 5]

Strange, quirky, beautiful and at times sad, this book perfectly describes love in all it forms and the sickness we all feel when love is too much for us to bear. They all fit into my fascination with expressions of passion, sex, infatuation, obsession and how far we all would go in the name of love. All in all, short but incredibly sweet.

[Icha Rahmanti · Rating 4 out of 5]

Compilation of 7 short stories wrote by Dan Rhodes. My fave are Beautiful Consuela and The Painting.

[Beckie · Rating 4 out of 5]

actually, maybe i just like dan rhodes' short stories, because these were good too (although, some of them were long enough to have chapters).

[Summer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Awesome short stories that pulse with a very real, fast beating heart. Love the Rhodes.

[Kristen · Rating 4 out of 5]

his stories make me want to rip my hair out with adoration

[Jenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dan Rhodes really taps into the archetypes of love, this is one of those books where you learn something about yourself just by reading it.

[Lacey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fairy-tale-esque short love stories (most of them ending tragically)... Perfect to read in bed with your significant other.

[Saya · Rating 3 out of 5]

Apparently love inevitably causes pain, hilarity or both.

[Jan Moens · Rating 4 out of 5]

7/10

[Josh Ang · Rating 5 out of 5]

Strange and wonderful stories