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Philosophy, Pussycats, & Porn
Philosophy, Pussycats, & Porn is a series of essays, blog posts, and stories surveying more than a decade of poignant journalistic accounts from internationally recognized writer, actor, and pornographer Stoya.
Stoya provides crucial examinations of systemic biases toward sex workers and how sexuality is reflected in society. Stoya often points her journalistic lens inward, providing us with personal, illustriously detailed stories of her life, her collaborators, and how she has built a flourishing media haven in the face of a culture that is still learning how to handle public discourses on sex work.
Stoya provides crucial examinations of systemic biases toward sex workers and how sexuality is reflected in society. Stoya often points her journalistic lens inward, providing us with personal, illustriously detailed stories of her life, her collaborators, and how she has built a flourishing media haven in the face of a culture that is still learning how to handle public discourses on sex work.
150 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2018
66 people are currently reading
899 people want to read
About the author
Stoya
4 books38 followersStoya (born 1986) is an American pornographic actress, model and writer.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 71 reviews
August 14, 2018
Stoya is both thoughtful and articulate, which in the world of adult entertainment makes her something like a public intellectual. She's the Christopher Hitchens of porn. You can see as much from the understated classical cover of this book of essays, which screams, if not quite ‘I've read Nietzsche!’, then at least ‘I can spell Nietzsche!’
Of course, being snarky about a porn star's essay-writing is cheap and unfair, and I'm going to stop that right now. The truth is I think Stoya is great, and although quite a lot of what's in here misses the mark, while reading I always felt like I wanted to be generous – and why is that?, I mean the last thing I want is to sit here white-knighting someone just because she takes her clothes off and looks pretty for a living. The truth is I don't really know Stoya qua porn star at all, because although I've seen my fair share of the genre, she hasn't actually done that many scenes, and most of those are locked under her own controlled spaces. But whenever I read about pornography, or society's attitude to privacy, or censorship, or sex work, or sex education – there's Stoya, popping up with another informed quote. It's nice, and surprisingly rare, to have someone involved in these debates who really knows what they're talking about. If nothing else, it helps people understand that adult performers are more than what they do on camera – they're quite normal people, who just have unusual jobs.
Admittedly, her frame of reference is a little different from most people's. When talking about her favourite scotch, for instance, she describes it as tasting ‘like good testicles in the summer, masculine and complex’, which is probably not something Laphroaig will be rushing to stick on the official tasting notes. And she thinks nothing of suddenly changing topic by means of a non-sequitur like ‘I remembered being wrist-deep in Jiz Lee a few years ago…’
But much of what she has to say is very interesting because, let's face it, her job is fascinating. She writes well about the effects of her career on the rest of her life – from the administrative (she's not allowed a PayPal account, can't get a business loan, and has to pay a year upfront to get an apartment) to the deeply personal (one lover doesn't trust that her orgasms are genuine).
Perhaps more to the point, she makes you realise that in pornography we see writ large many of the issues – patriarchy, misogyny, general attitudes towards sex – that affect all of us. In the same way, perhaps, that we learned about our own nerve cells from studying their giant equivalents in squid, so we can learn about the sexual double standards of ordinary life by studying them in giant form in pornography. Through the magnifying glass of porn, Stoya implies, the hypocrisies of sex become that much clearer. She is venerated and denigrated all at the same time, because she is a focus both for people's sexual desires and for people's sexual guilt: she describes it as being ‘put on a pedestal in a garbage can’. I suspect this is something quite a lot of women, even those not involved in porn (and not all women are, I understand), may relate to.
She is also good on the language of sex, pointing out that we have clinical terms of anatomy and terms that you might find scrawled on a cubicle wall, but nothing in between; nothing like the language needed to address the range of feelings and activities that sex in humans can involve. (This has been discussed by the theorists, but they tend to speak about a ‘closed phallogocentric signifying economy’, which is why no one reads the theorists whereas Stoya is a millionaire with an ass that won't quit.) Her essays about shooting scenes, as performer and director, show someone constantly thinking about the wider implications of what she's doing, how it relates to society, how it can be talked about, whether and how it can be detached from a nakedly capitalist distribution system.
There are a few notable silences in here – anyone looking for further details on the James Deen issue will find that he doesn't get a mention, conceivably for legal reasons. But ultimately, I suppose the biggest problem with Philosophy, Pussycats, & Porn – and it's not very fair – is that no one really cares about the first two items of the title. Every now and then you will read one of her earnest footnotes about the differences between Tito's Yugoslavia and Stalin's Russia, and think – are people looking to Stoya for direction on this stuff? But whatever; I'm pleased she exists, I'm pleased that someone in her industry is thinking about these issues, getting her voice out there, passionate and outspoken, and not content to let other people set the terms of the debate.
Of course, being snarky about a porn star's essay-writing is cheap and unfair, and I'm going to stop that right now. The truth is I think Stoya is great, and although quite a lot of what's in here misses the mark, while reading I always felt like I wanted to be generous – and why is that?, I mean the last thing I want is to sit here white-knighting someone just because she takes her clothes off and looks pretty for a living. The truth is I don't really know Stoya qua porn star at all, because although I've seen my fair share of the genre, she hasn't actually done that many scenes, and most of those are locked under her own controlled spaces. But whenever I read about pornography, or society's attitude to privacy, or censorship, or sex work, or sex education – there's Stoya, popping up with another informed quote. It's nice, and surprisingly rare, to have someone involved in these debates who really knows what they're talking about. If nothing else, it helps people understand that adult performers are more than what they do on camera – they're quite normal people, who just have unusual jobs.
Admittedly, her frame of reference is a little different from most people's. When talking about her favourite scotch, for instance, she describes it as tasting ‘like good testicles in the summer, masculine and complex’, which is probably not something Laphroaig will be rushing to stick on the official tasting notes. And she thinks nothing of suddenly changing topic by means of a non-sequitur like ‘I remembered being wrist-deep in Jiz Lee a few years ago…’
But much of what she has to say is very interesting because, let's face it, her job is fascinating. She writes well about the effects of her career on the rest of her life – from the administrative (she's not allowed a PayPal account, can't get a business loan, and has to pay a year upfront to get an apartment) to the deeply personal (one lover doesn't trust that her orgasms are genuine).
Perhaps more to the point, she makes you realise that in pornography we see writ large many of the issues – patriarchy, misogyny, general attitudes towards sex – that affect all of us. In the same way, perhaps, that we learned about our own nerve cells from studying their giant equivalents in squid, so we can learn about the sexual double standards of ordinary life by studying them in giant form in pornography. Through the magnifying glass of porn, Stoya implies, the hypocrisies of sex become that much clearer. She is venerated and denigrated all at the same time, because she is a focus both for people's sexual desires and for people's sexual guilt: she describes it as being ‘put on a pedestal in a garbage can’. I suspect this is something quite a lot of women, even those not involved in porn (and not all women are, I understand), may relate to.
She is also good on the language of sex, pointing out that we have clinical terms of anatomy and terms that you might find scrawled on a cubicle wall, but nothing in between; nothing like the language needed to address the range of feelings and activities that sex in humans can involve. (This has been discussed by the theorists, but they tend to speak about a ‘closed phallogocentric signifying economy’, which is why no one reads the theorists whereas Stoya is a millionaire with an ass that won't quit.) Her essays about shooting scenes, as performer and director, show someone constantly thinking about the wider implications of what she's doing, how it relates to society, how it can be talked about, whether and how it can be detached from a nakedly capitalist distribution system.
There are a few notable silences in here – anyone looking for further details on the James Deen issue will find that he doesn't get a mention, conceivably for legal reasons. But ultimately, I suppose the biggest problem with Philosophy, Pussycats, & Porn – and it's not very fair – is that no one really cares about the first two items of the title. Every now and then you will read one of her earnest footnotes about the differences between Tito's Yugoslavia and Stalin's Russia, and think – are people looking to Stoya for direction on this stuff? But whatever; I'm pleased she exists, I'm pleased that someone in her industry is thinking about these issues, getting her voice out there, passionate and outspoken, and not content to let other people set the terms of the debate.
April 23, 2025
Voleo bih da društvo shvati da seksualni radnici nisu nikakvi bauci. I oni su samo ljudska bića koja jednako zaslužuju naše poštovanje. Knjiga je sasvim na mestu i vredna pažnje i vremena.
August 4, 2018
More a collection of thoughts than essays. They are enjoyable but I found myself wishing she would tackle subjects in more depth.
Read
September 17, 2020i really don't know what to think of this. this is one of the books that has left me confused. i actually lost sleep over it a bit. i mean, i think stoya is an intelligent woman, but some of her opinions are very contradictory. specially when she "badmouths" feminists who are against pornography. i like reading opinions that are different from mine when they're other women's opinions, with different minds and lifestyles, which is stoya's case. i happen to be a feminist who is starting to study the world of pornography more closely and i consider myself anti pornography.
what made me really confused is that the other "porn star" book i've read was linda lovelace's "ordeal", that tells a VERY different story from this one. and that's one of the reasons why i think this book is so contradictory. like, i get it /////stoya's////// experience with porn is a "good" one because she views doing porn as something that is realated to freedom (also something along the lines of it being a way to free women's sexuality) but i feel like she universalizes her experience too much. i get that for her doing porn has been a good way, or at least that's what she wants her public to feel like, but isn't it a bit weird not understanding why some people are against pornography?
sometimes it seems like she cares about what other performers have been through, but sometimes it feels like she only cares about the ones who have had a similar experience to hers, which means... a good experience with porn. all over the internet there are many more women saying how bad pornography has been to them. how much abuse they've suffered. when a performer chooses to acknowledge the fact that many more women suffer than the ones who succeed in an abuse free pornography career, their arguments get kinda off for me.
there aren't many entries in this book that actually talk about some kind of activism or something along these lines but the ones that "do" feel like she ignores a lot that goes on around the whole thing pornography involves. like, it's been proven that pornography isn't actually good for your brain but i feel like she wants the reader to feel like the job of a pornographer is exactly the same as any other job when it isn't, and it isn't just because of conservative ideas.
there's a lot more to being against porn than just convervadorism. i don't know, i think many of the things she says here are going to be stuck in my mind for a long time, which can be good. i wish i could actually talk to this woman and understand her better. i hope she doesn't struggle as much with people viewing her as a human being nowadays. because i'm sure the men in porn don't suffer even half of the attacks she speaks of in this book.
anyway, i would recommend this one for people who plan on read all kinds of stuff about pornography. not just theory, but women telling their story and all the baggage that comes with it.
what made me really confused is that the other "porn star" book i've read was linda lovelace's "ordeal", that tells a VERY different story from this one. and that's one of the reasons why i think this book is so contradictory. like, i get it /////stoya's////// experience with porn is a "good" one because she views doing porn as something that is realated to freedom (also something along the lines of it being a way to free women's sexuality) but i feel like she universalizes her experience too much. i get that for her doing porn has been a good way, or at least that's what she wants her public to feel like, but isn't it a bit weird not understanding why some people are against pornography?
sometimes it seems like she cares about what other performers have been through, but sometimes it feels like she only cares about the ones who have had a similar experience to hers, which means... a good experience with porn. all over the internet there are many more women saying how bad pornography has been to them. how much abuse they've suffered. when a performer chooses to acknowledge the fact that many more women suffer than the ones who succeed in an abuse free pornography career, their arguments get kinda off for me.
there aren't many entries in this book that actually talk about some kind of activism or something along these lines but the ones that "do" feel like she ignores a lot that goes on around the whole thing pornography involves. like, it's been proven that pornography isn't actually good for your brain but i feel like she wants the reader to feel like the job of a pornographer is exactly the same as any other job when it isn't, and it isn't just because of conservative ideas.
there's a lot more to being against porn than just convervadorism. i don't know, i think many of the things she says here are going to be stuck in my mind for a long time, which can be good. i wish i could actually talk to this woman and understand her better. i hope she doesn't struggle as much with people viewing her as a human being nowadays. because i'm sure the men in porn don't suffer even half of the attacks she speaks of in this book.
anyway, i would recommend this one for people who plan on read all kinds of stuff about pornography. not just theory, but women telling their story and all the baggage that comes with it.
March 5, 2019
Well, I will rate this book against other books of its genre - which is the funny, witty, snappy, eloquent and easy going type - and so the 4 stars are under that precise context and not in the large sense of literary works. Usually, these particular kinds of books only achieve to either bore or annoy me, which I gladly found it was not the case with Stoya.
It is a great insight into the porn industry and in Stoya's life (which to be honest is the only reason I considered reading this) which is pretty chaotic, messy, impulsive and kind of adventurous without being irrational or absurd.
I had some great inner laughs at her straightforward style that delivers witty puns and subtle (and not so subtle) literary references. She's obviously very well-read and although maybe not fully versed in the academics of language, literature, politics, and psychology she's definitely brushed herself against all of these subjects well enough to have a steady and comprehensible view on what she's talking about.
The main reason why I'm assuming all this is that this essay collection just leaves me wishing for more in a sort of disappointing way. I feel that it has great potential but the 2 to 4 pages essays each never deliver the depth she's obviously capable of.
I feel that at least some of the essays deserved more analysis but she remained in the periphery of her capabilities.
My hopes are that this is just a nice debut and more clear stuff will follow.
(The -few- sex scenes were titillating, probably due to the blunt way she uses words like "cock" or "dick", unapologetically clear and simple. I long for more writers like this as opposed to the endless and downright comical metaphors and allegories in describing genitals, like coy prepubescents (COUGH Anaïs Nin COUGH).
Bottom line is I feel like I heard the real voice of the real person behind Stoya's stage name speaking and I can confidently conclude that I like her.
Also, cats. :)
It is a great insight into the porn industry and in Stoya's life (which to be honest is the only reason I considered reading this) which is pretty chaotic, messy, impulsive and kind of adventurous without being irrational or absurd.
I had some great inner laughs at her straightforward style that delivers witty puns and subtle (and not so subtle) literary references. She's obviously very well-read and although maybe not fully versed in the academics of language, literature, politics, and psychology she's definitely brushed herself against all of these subjects well enough to have a steady and comprehensible view on what she's talking about.
The main reason why I'm assuming all this is that this essay collection just leaves me wishing for more in a sort of disappointing way. I feel that it has great potential but the 2 to 4 pages essays each never deliver the depth she's obviously capable of.
I feel that at least some of the essays deserved more analysis but she remained in the periphery of her capabilities.
My hopes are that this is just a nice debut and more clear stuff will follow.
(The -few- sex scenes were titillating, probably due to the blunt way she uses words like "cock" or "dick", unapologetically clear and simple. I long for more writers like this as opposed to the endless and downright comical metaphors and allegories in describing genitals, like coy prepubescents (COUGH Anaïs Nin COUGH).
Bottom line is I feel like I heard the real voice of the real person behind Stoya's stage name speaking and I can confidently conclude that I like her.
Also, cats. :)
October 5, 2024
Nije ovo nikakvo štivo visokog kvaliteta kojem ćete se vraćati, više je kao blog u knjizi, neka trojka bi bila realna, ali dajem 4⭐️ zbog hrabrosti da bude svoja i da piše o svemu tome, što svi mi potajno želimo da znamo!
April 18, 2021
3.5 Estrellas
Inteligente y audaz la manera en que Stoya encara y defiende la forma en que ha decidido vivir su vida.
Habla de muchos temas como la pornografía y su realización, la prostitución y la forma de vivir el sexo de manera intensa, inteligente y libre, con buenos argumentos e información.
Un libro interesante y valiente... Y con un toque divertido por las anécdotas que cuenta.
Inteligente y audaz la manera en que Stoya encara y defiende la forma en que ha decidido vivir su vida.
Habla de muchos temas como la pornografía y su realización, la prostitución y la forma de vivir el sexo de manera intensa, inteligente y libre, con buenos argumentos e información.
Un libro interesante y valiente... Y con un toque divertido por las anécdotas que cuenta.
November 30, 2020
3'5
Una obra curiosa y con algunos artículos muy interesantes.
Una obra curiosa y con algunos artículos muy interesantes.
December 1, 2019
Как будто читаешь чей-то скучный закрытый блог.
Про котиков - неприлично мало :)
Про котиков - неприлично мало :)
May 27, 2020
Una recopilación de ensayos de la feminista, actriz, directora y activista porno Stoya donde habla de la industria del sexo, de sus vivencias como mujer, hace reflexiones existenciales, recomienda bibliografía y cuenta con detalle encuentros sexuales de manera sugerente y explícita. Perfecto para aprender sobre la industria del porno de alguien con conciencia social que la vive desde dentro, acumular reflexiones y recomendaciones bibliográficas y leer unos buenos relatos personales pornográficos que siempre es una alegría.
December 12, 2022
I picked this up because I enjoy Stoya's explicit work, plus I've watched/listened to a few of her podcasts and I enjoyed listening to what she had to say. I am also at a point in my life where I'm trying to be more sex positive, and to examine my views towards sexuality and the ethics of porn.
I was enamoured by this collection; I thought it was an insightful look into Stoya's personal life and her thoughts/experiences as a porn star and pornographer. There are essays on the porn industry and porn consumption ( Can There Be Good Porn? ; Squicks and Squees; Tubes vs. Torrents: the Ethics of Piracy), thoughts about public image (Icons; Can We Learn About Privacy From Porn Stars? ), recounts of her intimate/sexual experiences (Fire Escape; Blow; Dicks; Hot [Redacted]; Mid-December 2015), the difficulties that come with being a public figure (Sigh; boop), stories of her experiences as a porn director (Graphic Depictions, Scene 03), her thoughts on religion (Are You There God? It's Me, Stoya) and even a piece about a road trip she took with some public nudity involved (Road-Tripping With Stoya). This is by no means a comprehensive list or an adequate summary of her book, just a list of the pieces I especially enjoyed.
This is not a collection of academic essays, so anyone expecting a clear structure to the book, or every essay in this book to tackle the issues within the porn industry and suggest concrete policy solutions, would be sorely disappointed. Some of the essays are more substantial (namely the ones she has published in the NYT) while some feel more like personal musings or intimate journal entries — I liked the variety and I feel like I was able to get a sense of how her lived experiences are like, which is something I'd be unable to find in an academic text.
Stoya's personal voice really comes through in this book. I find her introspective and articulate, and I deeply enjoy her wry sense of humour. I personally really vibe with her writing style. See one of my favourites quotes from the book:
"Men bring me their bad behavior or their burning desire to be “good” and ask me to bless their actions, like some kind of whore priest."
Stoya is one of the only writers whose descriptions of sexual activities I actually enjoy (the only other writer I enjoy when it comes to this is Carmen Maria Machado). Her writing is sensual, erotic, heady, inviting, genuine. Her words are neither crude nor euphemistic. If she ever writes an erotic novel I would be the first to pick it up.
My only (minor) criticism is that some of the pieces feel a little short. I don't find this a failing because I think these pieces keep things open-ended and allow me to steep in my thoughts. Besides, I don't think every single piece needs to have a "point" or "message" anyway. Perhaps the "point" is to enjoy the experience — and this book was a lovely reading experience that I would be happy to revisit.
I was enamoured by this collection; I thought it was an insightful look into Stoya's personal life and her thoughts/experiences as a porn star and pornographer. There are essays on the porn industry and porn consumption ( Can There Be Good Porn? ; Squicks and Squees; Tubes vs. Torrents: the Ethics of Piracy), thoughts about public image (Icons; Can We Learn About Privacy From Porn Stars? ), recounts of her intimate/sexual experiences (Fire Escape; Blow; Dicks; Hot [Redacted]; Mid-December 2015), the difficulties that come with being a public figure (Sigh; boop), stories of her experiences as a porn director (Graphic Depictions, Scene 03), her thoughts on religion (Are You There God? It's Me, Stoya) and even a piece about a road trip she took with some public nudity involved (Road-Tripping With Stoya). This is by no means a comprehensive list or an adequate summary of her book, just a list of the pieces I especially enjoyed.
This is not a collection of academic essays, so anyone expecting a clear structure to the book, or every essay in this book to tackle the issues within the porn industry and suggest concrete policy solutions, would be sorely disappointed. Some of the essays are more substantial (namely the ones she has published in the NYT) while some feel more like personal musings or intimate journal entries — I liked the variety and I feel like I was able to get a sense of how her lived experiences are like, which is something I'd be unable to find in an academic text.
Stoya's personal voice really comes through in this book. I find her introspective and articulate, and I deeply enjoy her wry sense of humour. I personally really vibe with her writing style. See one of my favourites quotes from the book:
"Men bring me their bad behavior or their burning desire to be “good” and ask me to bless their actions, like some kind of whore priest."
Stoya is one of the only writers whose descriptions of sexual activities I actually enjoy (the only other writer I enjoy when it comes to this is Carmen Maria Machado). Her writing is sensual, erotic, heady, inviting, genuine. Her words are neither crude nor euphemistic. If she ever writes an erotic novel I would be the first to pick it up.
My only (minor) criticism is that some of the pieces feel a little short. I don't find this a failing because I think these pieces keep things open-ended and allow me to steep in my thoughts. Besides, I don't think every single piece needs to have a "point" or "message" anyway. Perhaps the "point" is to enjoy the experience — and this book was a lovely reading experience that I would be happy to revisit.
April 16, 2021
Me gusta que se presenta al personaje como una ´persona normal, no sólo como alguien que vive del porno. Las historias o lo que hay en la vida de Stoya es increíble, me encanta la mirada que nos da de Nueva York y que nos lleve a conocer Serbia. El tema de los turcos y los gatitos me parece maravilloso. Lo de las entrevistas con periodistas es algo común pero creo que uno aprende, tiene una forma sutil de decirle al lector por dónde va la vida de una mujer que tiene un trabajo estigmatizado.
December 30, 2021
Me ha gustado mucho el formato de ensayo-diarios, pero más que nada me ha impactado el pensamiento que se tiene de una actriz porno, de cómo en muchas ocasiones no es tomada en serio como profesional en un área, cómo se violentan sus derechos y se merman sus derechos.
Para mí, este libro me habla de la dignidad que merecemos todas las personas y de que los prejuicios a la mierda, porque nadie vale más o vale menos bajo ningún criterio.
Para mí, este libro me habla de la dignidad que merecemos todas las personas y de que los prejuicios a la mierda, porque nadie vale más o vale menos bajo ningún criterio.
August 25, 2019
Una compilación de artículos y publicaciones muy interesantes, escritos por Stoya actriz, modelo, directora, productora del porno, y en la que nos habla sobre asunto de gran interés sobre su profesión como son la objetivizacion de la mujer, el uso de protección en dichos filmes, los consumidores del género y aspectos de su vida diaria.
Esencial para poder entender otros puntos de vista sobre la sexualidad a los que no estamos expuestos normalmente.
Esencial para poder entender otros puntos de vista sobre la sexualidad a los que no estamos expuestos normalmente.
October 25, 2018
Essays, blog posts, reviews, and a bit of memoir from the lovely and thoughtful Stoya, who's rather the hip intellectual's porn star. I'll admit that I've never seen any of her on-camera work, but I've been reading her various blogs and articles for four or five years now, and I find her bright, serious, and clever. This is (yes) a charming little collection. Stoya has things to say that are worth reading and pondering, and I do like her voice in her essays. Anyway--- I'm glad I bought the book, and I will keep looking for her writing on line.
July 28, 2022
Очень лёгкий и уютный бложек из жизни порно супер-звезды, которая оказывается тоже живой и глубоко и свободно мыслящий человек, только в некоторых вопросах взрослой жизни значительно более раскованная и креативная. Можно читать/слушать в любом темпе и с любого места.
December 28, 2020
Usando el coloquial "maso"
Más o menos. Bastante pretencioso la palabra "filosofía" en el título.
Sin embargo entretiene
Más o menos. Bastante pretencioso la palabra "filosofía" en el título.
Sin embargo entretiene
March 2, 2021
Didn't manage to finish the work. I read half of it. I was hoping for something more philosophical based on the first few essays but the rest just seem like blog posts about her daily life.
July 16, 2024
Некоторые эссе совсем мимо, но эмоции хорошие. Технокнягини свободу несут в Белград.
December 31, 2020
An easy read, I loved many of the stories in here, lost that excitement towards the last 30 pages of the book.
December 7, 2019
Чтобы работать в порноиндустрии, явно нужно иметь хорошее чувство юмора.
March 11, 2019
I have some thoughts about this series of essays and blog posts from writer, actor, and pornographer Stoya– a personality, and human, whom I deeply admire (at least when it comes to her work and writings. I have never met her, and do not know her personally.) However, I’m not sure I can convey my thoughts articulately and in a way that I feel that this book deserves.
On one hand, it’s an intensely intimate look at someone’s reflections and ruminations, musings and meditations… and not in any sort of cleaned-up-and-sanitized-for-public-consumption kind of way, either. Several of these essays are close to what I consider stream of consciousness writing, in the sense that someone who is trying to work something out for themselves, internally, might scribble down nebulous notions and obscure observations, so that when they see these ideas begin to coalesce in black and white, in front of their eyes, they can say, “aha! That’s what it all means!” Stoya writes on issues regarding pornography, sex work, and sex education as they relate to privacy, censorship, and the media etc., and it’s a fascinating glimpse into a thought process from someone who is deeply involved in these issues and really knows what she’s talking about.
On the other hand, some of these writings are almost too intimate, too personal–almost as if they were plucked from a diary and a larger narrative, to now stand alone on a page; secret slices of life, raw, rough, unfinished, and very much out of context for a reader who is on the outside, with a very limited view for which to look in. These are the stories wherein perhaps a first name is mentioned…maybe a friend, a lover, a coworker… and we see a small interaction between Stoya and this individual–a coffee and a smoke, a heady fling, a reconciliation–and I wonder…am I supposed to know who these people are? Does it matter? Why was this specific moment in time, with this specific person, given mention?
In her other essays, in which we are allowed to see the inner workings of Stoya debating with herself and sussing out answers on the aforementioned various issues, these shared writings feel like a privilege, almost a peek behind the veil. However, the more personal anecdotes and reminiscences make me feel like a peeping tom, and not in a titillating way, but it’s a rather uncomfortable, left-out feeling, like, “why am I being allowed to witness this?”
On one hand, it’s an intensely intimate look at someone’s reflections and ruminations, musings and meditations… and not in any sort of cleaned-up-and-sanitized-for-public-consumption kind of way, either. Several of these essays are close to what I consider stream of consciousness writing, in the sense that someone who is trying to work something out for themselves, internally, might scribble down nebulous notions and obscure observations, so that when they see these ideas begin to coalesce in black and white, in front of their eyes, they can say, “aha! That’s what it all means!” Stoya writes on issues regarding pornography, sex work, and sex education as they relate to privacy, censorship, and the media etc., and it’s a fascinating glimpse into a thought process from someone who is deeply involved in these issues and really knows what she’s talking about.
On the other hand, some of these writings are almost too intimate, too personal–almost as if they were plucked from a diary and a larger narrative, to now stand alone on a page; secret slices of life, raw, rough, unfinished, and very much out of context for a reader who is on the outside, with a very limited view for which to look in. These are the stories wherein perhaps a first name is mentioned…maybe a friend, a lover, a coworker… and we see a small interaction between Stoya and this individual–a coffee and a smoke, a heady fling, a reconciliation–and I wonder…am I supposed to know who these people are? Does it matter? Why was this specific moment in time, with this specific person, given mention?
In her other essays, in which we are allowed to see the inner workings of Stoya debating with herself and sussing out answers on the aforementioned various issues, these shared writings feel like a privilege, almost a peek behind the veil. However, the more personal anecdotes and reminiscences make me feel like a peeping tom, and not in a titillating way, but it’s a rather uncomfortable, left-out feeling, like, “why am I being allowed to witness this?”
June 19, 2019
Jo vaig conèixer Stoya pel videoclip de Do It with a rockstar de l'Amanda Palmer. D'allà vaig anar a llegir alguns articles seus, veure algunes entrevistes i, finalment, algunes de les seves escenes porno. És digne d'admirar la tasca que fa normalitzant el sexe en una societat tan carca com la d'aquests temps. En aquest llibre hi ha moments literaris brillants i documents realistes, on l'Stoya és despulla per dins i per fora! Un nou encert d'Orciny press, que continua sent un referent editorial amb la seva valentia publicant perles com aquesta!
August 11, 2024
Oва књига је збирка новинских чланака, ултра кратких дневничких записа и сличне light weight паракњижевности које је Џесика Стојадиновић Стоја водила у другој половини 10их година 21. века. Стоја је пре свега позната као порно глумица са извесним амбицијама да од свог посла направи ”озбиљну” каријеру што је делимично и учинила улогом у филму Ederlezi rising. Стоја глуми улогу (у животу, не у филму) лика који сексуалном раду треба да подари неку врсту уметничког и људског поштовања, а такође има понешто и да досоли по питањима патријархата, духовности и савременог друштва.
Текстови могу да се поделе на неколико делова, опсервације на тему снимања и дистрибуције порнића са свим пословним, етичким и естетичким димензијама (можео да сазнамо да Стоја не би волела да има курац). Стоји личне приче у којима препричава однос са бившим момцима, пријатељима и цимерима такође заузимају добар део. На опште псеудофилозофско блебетање отпада такође неколико piece-ева. На крају потенцијално најзанимљивији записи су текстови у којима Стоја немушто промишља Београд и Србију тачније везу са неким предачким арехтиповима (на жалост и ови текстови су оптмизовани за просечно ретардираног Американца тако је из њих осмозом одстрањен сваки живототворни juice).
Проблем свих текстова је чињеница да Стоја није бог зна колико талентована за писање па је у том смислу јако тешко уживати у текстићима у којима она крајње површно и бесмислено пише на све поменуте теме. Иако су ми током читања били мучни текстови у којима нам Стоја објашњава како је попушила неком лику испод стола као и сви остали тужни покушаји да индустрију секса представи као нешто нормално, на крају су заправо ти wannabe шoкaнтни текстови честитији од глупости које Стоја записује кад размишља о Светој Петки. А има и тога.
Стоја је доста добар пример те људске располућености које доминира у америчкој култури. Надам се да ће јој Света Петка помоћи.
Текстови могу да се поделе на неколико делова, опсервације на тему снимања и дистрибуције порнића са свим пословним, етичким и естетичким димензијама (можео да сазнамо да Стоја не би волела да има курац). Стоји личне приче у којима препричава однос са бившим момцима, пријатељима и цимерима такође заузимају добар део. На опште псеудофилозофско блебетање отпада такође неколико piece-ева. На крају потенцијално најзанимљивији записи су текстови у којима Стоја немушто промишља Београд и Србију тачније везу са неким предачким арехтиповима (на жалост и ови текстови су оптмизовани за просечно ретардираног Американца тако је из њих осмозом одстрањен сваки живототворни juice).
Проблем свих текстова је чињеница да Стоја није бог зна колико талентована за писање па је у том смислу јако тешко уживати у текстићима у којима она крајње површно и бесмислено пише на све поменуте теме. Иако су ми током читања били мучни текстови у којима нам Стоја објашњава како је попушила неком лику испод стола као и сви остали тужни покушаји да индустрију секса представи као нешто нормално, на крају су заправо ти wannabe шoкaнтни текстови честитији од глупости које Стоја записује кад размишља о Светој Петки. А има и тога.
Стоја је доста добар пример те људске располућености које доминира у америчкој култури. Надам се да ће јој Света Петка помоћи.
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June 18, 2025Stoya has always been an interesting character to me. A part of the tumblresque post-feminist e-girl intellectuel vibe, together with Sasha Grey and Asa Akira, doing multimedia appearances and being a pioneer for anti-slutshaming and such, being a proud sex worker and an interesting character in general. To me this position has been very intriguing always, kind of as being an artist, rock star, a criminal, working on the outskirts and badlands of morals. Being cool and confident in a position where you kind of have nothing to lose. Like Asa Akira says, she has an award-winning asshole. There's so much power in that.
To me Stoya has always been supercool, doing her own thing, doing a prelaunch for the MeToo-movement years ago. This book had been on my list forever, but not I finally got my hands on it. Not too much of philosophy here, but that's okay. I enjoyed the travelogues the most, could've been on the road together for a longer time too. This came close, talking about a blowjob in the bathroom of an AmTrak train in New Mexico, I've probably been in that same bathroom too, craving a pale skin against mine. And reading about Stoya walking in Töölö, Helsinki was for sure a mindfuck. I was abot to visit Belgrade a few years ago while being in Trieste, but bailed out. I regret it now, my cowardice, reading about how much Stoya enjoys the city. Will have to visit one day.
It was very interesting to read about Belle Know, financing her life with sex work while studying, something I've been writing about, too.
Could've read way more of this, Stoya is the coolest and I wish I could spend more time with her naked soul.
To me Stoya has always been supercool, doing her own thing, doing a prelaunch for the MeToo-movement years ago. This book had been on my list forever, but not I finally got my hands on it. Not too much of philosophy here, but that's okay. I enjoyed the travelogues the most, could've been on the road together for a longer time too. This came close, talking about a blowjob in the bathroom of an AmTrak train in New Mexico, I've probably been in that same bathroom too, craving a pale skin against mine. And reading about Stoya walking in Töölö, Helsinki was for sure a mindfuck. I was abot to visit Belgrade a few years ago while being in Trieste, but bailed out. I regret it now, my cowardice, reading about how much Stoya enjoys the city. Will have to visit one day.
It was very interesting to read about Belle Know, financing her life with sex work while studying, something I've been writing about, too.
Could've read way more of this, Stoya is the coolest and I wish I could spend more time with her naked soul.
July 8, 2023
i read this book at the beginning of the summer, and i literally don’t remember much about it.
it was insightful to read from the perspective of a sex worker, however, i don’t think there was much critical interrogation done about the sex work/ porn industry.
now, as a sex worker and woman, does she owe that to readers? not necessarily.
i think women should be able to engage in sex work and do what they want without being attacked by anti-porn feminists. do i think she’s somewhat complacent in a system that largely perpetuates violence against women, and maybe even part of the problem? yes and no. its f*cking complicated.
i can’t judge her for her hustle because i’ve never been in her shoes. i can say, however, that the book didn’t leave me grappling with many ideas.
at its core, it felt like poetry and at that it was not poetry which was riveting to my mind. that doesn’t make it a waste of time though. and i think theres something radical about sex workers writing books and explaining the ins and outs of the industry, it can lead to deeper empathy and understanding, and in that sense i think the book did what it needed to. quick read too. digestible.
it was insightful to read from the perspective of a sex worker, however, i don’t think there was much critical interrogation done about the sex work/ porn industry.
now, as a sex worker and woman, does she owe that to readers? not necessarily.
i think women should be able to engage in sex work and do what they want without being attacked by anti-porn feminists. do i think she’s somewhat complacent in a system that largely perpetuates violence against women, and maybe even part of the problem? yes and no. its f*cking complicated.
i can’t judge her for her hustle because i’ve never been in her shoes. i can say, however, that the book didn’t leave me grappling with many ideas.
at its core, it felt like poetry and at that it was not poetry which was riveting to my mind. that doesn’t make it a waste of time though. and i think theres something radical about sex workers writing books and explaining the ins and outs of the industry, it can lead to deeper empathy and understanding, and in that sense i think the book did what it needed to. quick read too. digestible.
January 13, 2020
A fantastic read that shows a different side to the adult entertainment industry than what is typically shown. Throughout the book, there were many times where I kept flipping back pages I had just read, hoping that I could find one more page in a chapter. Not because I was disappointed in how the chapter ended, but because I wanted to read more about this topic as Stoya's way of writing made it difficult for me to put the book down.
However, there were still a few issues I had, mostly minor nitpicks. I noticed a few grammatical errors, some of which took me a few times of re-reading a sentence to understand. There were also a few chapters that were nothing else but graphic depictions of sex, which felt a bit out-of-place with the rest of the book.
Regardless, I cannot recommend this book enough. The writing was capable of engaging me, as well as making me laugh at points and had me fighting back tears at others. Definitely would recommend anyone who has even a passing interest in the world of pornography and sex workers.
However, there were still a few issues I had, mostly minor nitpicks. I noticed a few grammatical errors, some of which took me a few times of re-reading a sentence to understand. There were also a few chapters that were nothing else but graphic depictions of sex, which felt a bit out-of-place with the rest of the book.
Regardless, I cannot recommend this book enough. The writing was capable of engaging me, as well as making me laugh at points and had me fighting back tears at others. Definitely would recommend anyone who has even a passing interest in the world of pornography and sex workers.
April 19, 2022
This book is different compared to what I usually read. The short essays are rather interesting. I enjoyed the following in particular.
Fire escape
Window
Can we learn about privacy from porn stars?
Noooooooodie Girl
Economics
Guest Informant, Warren Ellis
Paris: the surprise extra installment
Dicks
On Distraction
Trigger Warning: My Inbox
boop
Hot [Redacted]
Mid-December 2015
I suppose what made it intriguing was Stoya's writing style and her various experiences and views on sex. I enjoyed how down-to-earth her essays which makes it very relatable. Her insights on people, sexuality, and the porn industry are enlightening since this is the first time that I'm exposed to the life of a porn star. However, her carefree lifestyle sounds rather emotionally liberating and it makes me wonder if perhaps, I could adopt some aspects of it as well. Overall, it was an enjoyable read of which a lot of comes through due to Stoya's engaging writing style and human experiences which I could feel for.
Fire escape
Window
Can we learn about privacy from porn stars?
Noooooooodie Girl
Economics
Guest Informant, Warren Ellis
Paris: the surprise extra installment
Dicks
On Distraction
Trigger Warning: My Inbox
boop
Hot [Redacted]
Mid-December 2015
I suppose what made it intriguing was Stoya's writing style and her various experiences and views on sex. I enjoyed how down-to-earth her essays which makes it very relatable. Her insights on people, sexuality, and the porn industry are enlightening since this is the first time that I'm exposed to the life of a porn star. However, her carefree lifestyle sounds rather emotionally liberating and it makes me wonder if perhaps, I could adopt some aspects of it as well. Overall, it was an enjoyable read of which a lot of comes through due to Stoya's engaging writing style and human experiences which I could feel for.
March 16, 2021
God... what can I say. How and where do I begin? For starters, this book felt more like REALLYY refined journal entries than anything else. But that necessarily wouldn't award it negative marks, this very journalesque writing style gives this book a very warm and welcoming feeling, as if the author was talking directly to you. And at certain points, it really did "I will not fukx you" Ouch lady, what did I ever do to deserve that......... but then I realised that she said that to brutes and potential brutes who'd send her their dick pics and/or request for 'fukx'.
I don't really know who I'd recommend this book to, a porn aficionado, a Stoya lover but that's it I guess. I would've recommended this book to other individuals had this book addressed specific point[s] in depth. But dude, whatever, it was fun to read, I didn't get sick of reading it so yeah read it I guess. It's like talking to someone. Good work Stoya.
I don't really know who I'd recommend this book to, a porn aficionado, a Stoya lover but that's it I guess. I would've recommended this book to other individuals had this book addressed specific point[s] in depth. But dude, whatever, it was fun to read, I didn't get sick of reading it so yeah read it I guess. It's like talking to someone. Good work Stoya.
August 8, 2022
A small, short volume collecting essays, blogposts, and articles written by Stoya from ~2012-2018. Some essays focus on the production of Pornography, from the perspective of both the performer and the director. In this way it is a good document of internet Porn’s flourishing in the era, exploring the difficulties involved with trying to stay independent in an industry controlled by rich tech investors, government agents, and credit card agencies. Other essays are short bursts of personal (and political) thoughts and experiences. Stoya is an entertaining writer with a deep curiosity and sense of humor, but some pieces are just too short to allow her to develop any ideas past their introduction. But maybe the book is less about developed ideas and more about lived experiences. I particularly enjoyed the longer piece about traveling to an abandoned Penthouse hotel in Croatia to try and film a scene.
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