It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken Quotes

“Alone also means available for someone outstanding.”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“It is in that moment, when you really lay down your cards and see the relationship for what it was, that you'll find the freedom to kick it in the ass and let it go.”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“Even with all the mayonnaise in the world, you can't make chicken salad out of chicken shit.”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“It's an odd thing to think about, but try imagining that your breakup is a disease. If you were told that you had a serious yet curable disease, would you go get hammered on a regular basis? Eat two bags of Oreos? Chain-smoke, pop, pills, get stoned, or fuck around? NO YOU WOULDN'T. You would take great care of yourself and cut all the unhealthy things out of your life. Because you love yourself, and even if you don't right now, WE DO. So put the (insert vice here) and start moving on.”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“...you are defined by how you live your life, not whom you live it with, and certainly not by what you gave up to be with that person.”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“Breakups hurt like a motherf*#ker, but they are not the end of the world. The pain is temporary, and if handled properly, they can even be life-changing.”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“The time it takes to feel better about a breakup is directly proportional to the time it takes to feel better about yourself.”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“Feeling in love (or lust) and fear feel a lot alike. They both give you that anxious butterfly feeling in your stomach, a sense of excitement, and a general unease physically and mentally. It's easy to confuse love with fear.”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“Life's biggest rewards come from the biggest challenges”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“So many of us find ourselves saying, “but he was so great!” Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on vacation. Things changed and it’s important to remember that they did.”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“In retrospect, I'm embarrassed by how little effort on his part it took for me to come back or stay. I was so desperate for him to love me, to want me, to fight for me that I was literally grateful for any mere scrap of effort. I'd made so many excuses for his inability to treat me well that even the smallest gesture was amplified in my head. After years of this, I finally got my head out of my ass and realized that aside from feeling insecure and fragile about the state of my relationship all the time, we also wanted entirely different things out of life!”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“There was no closure to be had, just jail time in my head. What's he doing? What's he thinking? Does he still love me? Does he love her more? Is he thinking that he made a mistake? It doesn't matter, because the cold hard truth was that he didn't love me enough to want to be with me. It took me a while, but I ultimately realized that I had to physically separate myself from all the things that were keeping me stuck inside my obsessive mind.”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“Anyone who assesses you or your relationship as disposable is not worthy of your time or tears.”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“People come together and move apart. It’s the age-old ebb and flow of relationships. Some are shorter journeys, and others were meant for a lifetime. That goes for friendships as well. We”
― Greg Behrendt, It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Breakup Buddy

“the end, only you can make you happy.”
― Greg Behrendt, It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Breakup Buddy

“What did heartbroken people do before phones? Come home and stare at the mailbox? Stand in their driveway and wait for the stagecoach? Run to the Western Union to see if anyone had Morse Coded them? Stare into the sky waiting for the messenger pigeon?”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“The harsh reality is that even if you have everything else in common, the one thing you don't have in common is the belief that this relationship can work.”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“The behavior sometimes has to come before the feelings, so instead of doing something falsely satisfying that you'll regret, why not try doing something that you'll hate now (like deep-conditioning your hair and going to bed early) but be proud of later.”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“When choosing a Breakup Buddy, there's probably someone who immediately comes to mind. If not, pick someone with at least three of these qualities: 1. Has at least a mild knowledge of your relationship. 2. Is a good listener or is good at pretending they are. 3. Thinks you're the cat's pajamas! 4. Has a cell phone, pager, or other reliable way of being contacted. 5. Lives in close enough proximity to be accessible during emergency breakup meltdowns. 6. Has an hour a day to talk to you should you need them. 7. Has been through a breakup as well. 8. Does not work as a professional clown.”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“This is our #1 commandment, and it is hands down the most important thing you can do for yourself. The idea is to get him out of your system—and he's much less likely to continue to wield his power and stay under your skin if you don't have any contact. Furthermore, laying down the sixty-day rule gives you the opportunity to take control of a situation that has you reeling out of control. It's your chance to call the shots. We don't care if he (or you) still wants to be friends, if he still has some of your stuff, or if you were fused together in a welding accident. You can revisit all these issues two months from now when you have some clarity.”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“Breakups can often feel like a crisis. And a person's character can be measured by how they act in a crisis. You can either fall apart or rise to the challenge of pulling yourself out of the shit storm.”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“even if you don't want to hear it, the fact that he doesn't want to talk to you is actually a GOOD THING! It's just the kind of slap in the face that should make getting past this stage of the breakup easier.”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“That says a lot about the commonality of how heartbreak affects us, and how we can be our own worst enemies in times of need. The big lesson here is that when it comes to your ex, any urge or impulse to contact him will do more harm than good, and you need to fight these urges however you can.”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“Note to the Breakup Buddy So a friend has asked you to be their Breakup Buddy. That's awesome! And you should consider it an honor because basically they've said, “My life is falling to pieces and you are the one person I can turn to.” That's got to feel great because really, isn't that what we were put here on this planet to do anyway—help one another? But now you are thinking, “Hmmm. This is a big responsibility. What am I supposed to do? What if I'm not qualified to be a Breakup Buddy?” Listen, all you need to be qualified is a pair of ears and some patience. That's it. But we do have a list of guidelines and thoughts for you to consider during your two months of servitude. 1. It is NOT your job to fix this person. They'll have to do that on their own. What you can do is listen to them, be honest with them and guide them toward making smart choices .. . like not calling. 2. It's okay to set limits. You have a life too and you don't want to be taken advantage of. If one hour on the phone is all you can do, then that's cool. If you can't talk at work—fine. Just let them know when you are available and what to do in case of emergency meltdowns. 3. Make it fun. It's okay to let them sob into your sweater for a while, but then suggest a movie or a concert or maybe just a hike. In fact, say, “Let's walk while we talk.” Try not to let them get too sedentary. Your job and their recovery will be much easier if you're out in the world where life's distractions can prove that even the most heartbroken of us can be amused by small dogs, handsome pedestrians, and a great window display. 4. Patience. Patience. Patience. It may take a while for your buddy to get a handle on her new single reality. That's okay. As long as they are doing it in the safe company of you, their Breakup Buddy, and not their ex. 5. Share the wealth. Your experiences, strength, and hope will help guide them out of the darkness and into the light. You may have been through something similar, so share your story and the things you did that helped you get through it. Hearing it from someone else is more comforting than you can imagine. 6. You're a good friend for doing this.”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“Special Circumstances “But he was my best friend.” So was that girl who smelled like egg salad in the third grade, but you don't still need her around, do you? We understand, sometimes you can get so deep into a relationship that you isolate yourself, and then when it's over you suddenly find you are alone. But now's the perfect time to reconnect with some of your old and more understanding friends. You're not the only one who has ever gotten caught up in a relationship and lost touch with people. Just summon up your courage and make the first move. You'll be surprised at how glad your old crew will be to have you back. “I don't have any close friends.” That must have been nice for your boyfriend, being responsible for your entire world. No pressure there. So here's a lesson for the future: Having a good relationship is no substitute for having good friends. A perfect existence includes both.”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“So how is this different from bludgeoning all your friends to death with your sad, obsessive patter? Glad you asked! Enlisting a Breakup Buddy is an act of taking control. Instead of allowing your need to vent, complain, and wallow seep into every area of your life and every relationship you have (which will only keep you stuck and miserable), you are limiting yourself to one friend who agrees to help—thus ensuring that you are supported but don't subject others to an endless stream of whining. Having an established agreement also takes away any guilt you may feel about calling that friend for the third time that day. You asked them to stick with you for sixty days—they accepted. They want to be there. So you can pick up the phone when you need to without feeling ashamed or risking your friendships.”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“when you approach a friend about being your Breakup Buddy, you forewarn them that for the next sixty days you will be asking them to devote their time, patience, and energy to helping you. The job can be as simple as being the person you call whenever you feel the urge to call your ex, or a surrogate date for dinner and the movies on the weekend. It should also include being the liaison between you and your ex if there is unfinished business or belongings to be exchanged”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy

“The Second Commandment (Or, A Strong Suggestion) GET YOURSELF A
BREAKUP BUDDY What the hell is that?” you ask. “Some ridiculous ‘therapeutic doll' that I'm supposed to yell at and tell my troubles to? Well, I'm not buying.” Take it easy there, Hot Pants! While we like to think of ourselves as your breakup buddy, there is nothing like the ear and heart of another live human being to help get you through this tough time. We want to be the ones you turn to when you need help, and in the event that you can't enlist a friend, we hope that reading these pages will help. But having a good friend to call when you're having a moment of weakness, feeling lonely, or about to eat two whole buckets of fried chicken while sitting in your underwear is where it's at!”
― Greg Behrendt, It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy