Free-Range Kids: Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts with Worry by Lenore Skenazy

Sep 07, 2009 Skylar Burris rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: parenting

This is the book to read if you’re tired of worrying about every little thing you may be doing wrong as a parent, or if you’re tired of people looking at you as if you were a horrible mom because you are letting your five-year-old daughter hang upside down barefoot from the monkey bars (not naming any names, but it might have been my daughter, who, by the way, has neither fallen nor contracted ringworm--yet, anyway).

I don’t agree with all of the author’s parenting advice, and I wouldn’t have ma...more This is the book to read if you’re tired of worrying about every little thing you may be doing wrong as a parent, or if you’re tired of people looking at you as if you were a horrible mom because you are letting your five-year-old daughter hang upside down barefoot from the monkey bars (not naming any names, but it might have been my daughter, who, by the way, has neither fallen nor contracted ringworm--yet, anyway).

I don’t agree with all of the author’s parenting advice, and I wouldn’t have made some of the same choices as some of the parents she lauds, but I agree with the gist of her philosophy: out of unfounded (largely media-generated) fears, parents are (on average) overprotecting the current generation of children, giving them too little space to roam (particularly outdoors), too many structured activities, not enough unstructured free time to engage in creative play and learn to amuse themselves, and too little freedom to learn to make their own responsible decisions.

The book is a very easy read because the author is quite funny and the topics she skewers are familiar to every mother. Afraid your baby is getting too much BP from his plastic bottle? Think your three-year-old will die if you give him a little cough syrup? Afraid that if breastfeeding doesn’t work out for you, your baby’s IQ will drop a few points? Certain if you allow your 9 year old to walk to school without you, he’ll be nabbed? Pregnant and wondering how you could ever keep the 50-page What to Expect While You Are Expecting healthy diet? Then this book is for you.

The parenting advice is limited; the book primarily consists of encouragement: don’t be so afraid. You’re not going to screw up your kid. Really. On the other hand, she sort of feeds a fear that some instinctively “free range” parents might not have had before: any second, someone might call CPS on you for letting your kid do the normal kid things you did as a kid at the same age. At the very least, you’ll be judged harshly, and the neighborhood moms won’t let their kids play with yours. So she rails against creating fear, but not without (perhaps inadvertently) potentially creating a few fears of her own. She rails against judgmental moms, while at the same time judging the overprotective, over-scheduling variety of mom.

I laughed QUITE a bit during the first half of the book, but maybe the humor just wore old after that; the second half did not give me quite so many chuckles.
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Jan 24, 2012 Julie Ekkers rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: parenting

I came to this book without knowing not only that there was someone who had let her nine-year-old ride the New York subway by himself, but also that that someone was the author of this book. So, I was unfamiliar with the author's blog and her other journalism. I think her humor, while often funny, probably works better in those shorter forms that in this longer piece. There are a few chapters late in the book where I felt she was stretching her point a bit. Still, I really enjoyed this book. It...more

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Apr 25, 2009 Lori rated it 5 of 5 stars

Loved this book! It's one of the best parenting books I've read. It's not a "to-do" list of what every should do, but a discussion of real issues, real risks, and real options. Lenore does a great job of presenting subjects to think about and then documents her research.

Our children are much too capable to be kept under constant supervision. We should teach them skills and then give them opportunities to interact with the world on their own.

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Mar 19, 2013 Karianne rated it 4 of 5 stars

I would probably rate this more of a 3.5. The author has an entertaining writing style, using humor to point out the absurdity of our overprotectiveness as parents. I found myself laughing to the point of tears more than once. I agree with the author's main premise that parents worry too much about the "boogie man" and are overprotective, but I do wish she would have spent more time exploring some of the actual dangers facing children (namely, the number of children sexually assaulted by people...more

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Feb 19, 2013 Connie Gunderson rated it 5 of 5 stars

This is probably the only parenting book that I would actually recommend. I usually fall down on the side of "if you're a smart and decent person, you already know what's best for your kid" which renders most parenting books useless. We read them to find support for what we already believe/know.

This book was a revelation for me, though. It posits that helicopter parenting, even that degree of helicopter parenting done by parents who think they're *not* helicopter parents, is unnecessary and unhe...more

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Sep 04, 2012 Lauren rated it 2 of 5 stars

Eh. I tried reading this for book club, but couldn't bring myself to get more than a quarter of the way through it. I didn't think she was that funny (common praise is that she's hilarious). And I didn't find her advice compelling or relevant. I DO think of myself as a Type A, anxious parent, but I'm not anxious about the kinds of things she dismisses (kidnappings and razor blades in Halloween candy). And I found her casual dismissal of what I'd call conscientious, thoughtful parenting to be irr...more

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Jul 10, 2012 Lynn rated it 4 of 5 stars

Many years ago when my sister and her 2 kids and I and my two kids went to a very small town in Nova Scotia, my sister gave her son money and told him to go to the local store and buy some rolls for sandwiches. He was about 7 years old. The store was maybe a 5 minute walk away. Yet for a boy raised right outside of Washington DC this was major -- he went and came back all proud of his adventure and we all thought isn't that great! Mind you the small town was on an island and the ferry left port...more Many years ago when my sister and her 2 kids and I and my two kids went to a very small town in Nova Scotia, my sister gave her son money and told him to go to the local store and buy some rolls for sandwiches. He was about 7 years old. The store was maybe a 5 minute walk away. Yet for a boy raised right outside of Washington DC this was major -- he went and came back all proud of his adventure and we all thought isn't that great! Mind you the small town was on an island and the ferry left port once every hour. Since there was one road ... it wasn't like he could have gotten lost! Yet sometimes safe adventures are hard to come by and that is what the book "Free-Range Kids" is all about.

Lenore was labelled the "America's Worst Mom" when she let her 9 year old take the subway back from a shopping trip. The boy had grown up in New York, he had been on subways his whole life and he started in a location that was close to a subway stop. They had agreed and spoken about the whole process and he felt confidant that he could do it. So she let him. Then as a journalist she wrote about this experience. How wonderful her son felt about a successful mission and how nervous she was about the trip. The day it was printed -- the phone calls started.

Lenore seems to be a careful woman: she has statistics from "Crimes Against Children Research Center" and has done fairly intensive statistic searches at the US Department of Justice. She can tell us exactly how many documented instances of Halloween poisoning there are by strangers ... zero documented cases. Though she does mention one instance of a 5 year old getting into his uncles heroin and dying. So the parents who didn't want the uncle to get into trouble sprinkled heroin on the rest of the Halloween candy. Also a father gave his son poison in a Pixie Stick thinking that since there were SO many crazy people out there on Halloween -- it would just look like any other Halloween homicide.

Lenore also raises many questions about the necessity of having knee pads for baby, helmets for toddlers learning to walk, and some of the other "safety" equipment that parents of infants and toddlers are convinced that they need.

This is a great book that I found really funny at times. She likes to point out just how crazy our society is and how we can take courage and change our little part of the world.(less)

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Mar 30, 2012 Taj rated it 4 of 5 stars

I am a self-admitted "helicopter" parent (albeit I believe that I am of the moderate persuasion). Nevertheless, I was very impressed with Skenazy's arguments in favor of "free range" parenting. I found myself agreeing with a lot of her points, while still instinctively rejecting her conclusions. This led me to conclude that some of my fears are irrational. That is the definition of an irrational fear, one that we instinctively hold onto despite a lack of logical support for the fear. I found mys...more

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Dec 05, 2011 Jamie rated it 4 of 5 stars

I got this book originally because I thought my husband had coined the term, "free range kids" to describe those obnoxious neighbor children whose parents obviously don't pay enough attention to them, etc., etc. and I thought it was funny to find a book by that title.

But on reading it, I first began to see the idea of free-range kids in a whole new and positive light, and I learned some things.

A lot of what "America's worst mom" said about her frustration with the way American culture has begu...more

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Sep 13, 2011 Maggie Larche rated it 5 of 5 stars

Free-Range Kids: How to Raise Safe, Self-Reliant Children (Without Going Nuts with Worry) by Lenore Skenazy is a refreshing look at how to raise your kids to be independent while minimizing your own anxiety about everything that could go wrong in the process.

Full disclosure: be ready for a little irony as this parenting book tells you to ignore parenting books. Otherwise, you can expect a hearty dose of practical sense and parental empowerment.

The overriding idea of this book is that YOU know yo...more

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Aug 17, 2011 David rated it 4 of 5 stars

This is the woman who wrote an article about letting her then-9-year old ride the NY subway alone, and got a ton of blowback about her being a horrible mom. She must have an entrepreneurial soul, as she turned this potentially devastating incident into a platform for a blog, a website, a regular column, many TV appearances, and this book. Well played, ma'am!

General thesis is that things are not as dangerous as you fear, that kids need to be allowed to have the same freedoms we had when young to...more This is the woman who wrote an article about letting her then-9-year old ride the NY subway alone, and got a ton of blowback about her being a horrible mom. She must have an entrepreneurial soul, as she turned this potentially devastating incident into a platform for a blog, a website, a regular column, many TV appearances, and this book. Well played, ma'am!

General thesis is that things are not as dangerous as you fear, that kids need to be allowed to have the same freedoms we had when young to roam around and discover on their own, and that media-driven hysteria fuels our exaggerated perceptions of risk.

For the most part, I really liked it -- funny, reasonable, and balanced. By "balanced" I mean that her overall take is certainly one-sided, advocating that you lighten up and quit worrying yourself and your kids to death, but she does sensibly acknowledge that some safety tips are important, empirically supported, and well worth it. Yes, outlawing "tag" at recess because some kid some time might fall and get a skinned knee is ridiculous, but the "Back to Sleep" campaign to reduce SIDS worked and saved many infants' lives. Baby knee pads for crawlers and toilet lid locks are overkill, but keeping kids from swimming in backyard pools unattended is a sensible way to reduce drowning risk. Eating lead paint really is bad for kids' development. And so on.......

Two minor quibbles about her extensive use of stats in this book:

(a) she repeatedly points out that indicators of safety are much improved in the past generation -- fewer kids being murdered, etc. Gregg Easterbrook's book The Progress Paradox was an interesting discussion of how come people are often unaware of positive social trends like this, and I'm sympathetic to her overall point, but she never acknowledges that to a nervous parent this data point could be taken to mean the opposite of her thesis. She deploys improved safety status to mean that you shouldn't worry excessively about small and receding risks, but it would be just as logical to look at (i) increased worry wart-ism and (b) decreased crime against kids, and conclude that the worriers are right -- telling kids not to talk to strangers and never letting them walk anywhere alone until they're 25 and......is working! It's made them safer than in our day.

(b) she's all numerator and no denominator. Whenever discussing something she doesn't think you should worry about, she stresses the small absolute number of kids who died that way and puts it in context of how many kids there are, not how many engaged in that activity. Since I was at an aquarium with my family yesterday I'll call this the "sharks aren't so bad after all" syndrome. Shark apologists like to point out that they don't kill that many people each year, but how many people are actually swimming near sharks for how much total time? I doubt russian roulette kills as many people as car crashes each year, but that doesn't mean russian roulette is a safer activity than driving.

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Jul 29, 2011 Heidi rated it 5 of 5 stars

Every parent should read this book, not because we all need to live this way but just because it's hilarious. The author, a columnist for a New York City newspaper, let her 9-year-old son ride the subway alone and then wrote a short column about it the next day, highlighting his sense of accomplishment and independence. The day the column ran, the mother was caught in a media frenzy, was labelled the "worst mother in America," and was the topic of "experts" who claimed she had subjected her chil...more

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Jun 06, 2011 Stephanie rated it 4 of 5 stars

I loved this book. I really feel like parents are so worried about every little thing that kids have no freedom whatsoever to just be kids.

Lenore Skenazy wrote this book after being berated for being the worst mother in America because she let her 9 year old son go home by himself on the New York Subway. A kid who has been born and raised in New York City knows the subway. He did it, had no problems, and felt proud of himself for having a little independence. I totally get that and appreciate it...more I loved this book. I really feel like parents are so worried about every little thing that kids have no freedom whatsoever to just be kids.

Lenore Skenazy wrote this book after being berated for being the worst mother in America because she let her 9 year old son go home by himself on the New York Subway. A kid who has been born and raised in New York City knows the subway. He did it, had no problems, and felt proud of himself for having a little independence. I totally get that and appreciate it. I started flying by myself to visit my grandparents in Michigan when I was 6. I was never worried. I had books, I enterained myself, and they were there to greet me when I landed. I used to walk all over the neighborhood by myself - on rainy days, I'd count snails. My parents weren't worried. They, gasp, TRUSTED me to know what to do.

Ms. Skenazy goes through the rest of parents' never-ending worrying, starting with pregnancy. This section definitely struck a chord with me because I was so annoyed by not only the saint-like pregnant women, but also regular people who feel the need to interject their opinions. I ate blue cheese, I ate smoked salmon, I, gasp, ate deli meat. Look at the statistics of listeriosis people. You're so much more likely to get in a car accident, causing real harm to your fetus, then you are to get sick from listeriosis, yet no one is advocating that a pregnant woman remain at home for 9 months. The same is true with sushi. Anyway, I digress.

The point of Skenazy's book is that parents feel like they can make their child's life free from any sort of harm. You can buy knee pads to protect your crawling baby's knees! This, despite the fact that babies don't even get knee caps until they're around 2. They were born to crawl.

And parents are constantly worried about abduction that they teach their children to not even talk to ANY strangers. Skenazy warns that you should teach your children not to GO anywhere with strangers, but that your children should still feel safe to talk to them. Most adults are not out there to abduct children, but if something really goes wrong, your child needs to know how to run and bang on a neighbor's door. But how can that happen if they won't talk to strangers??

Finally, the part that really got me was that there is now a warning on a DVD of old Sesame Street clips that it is for "Adults Only." Adults only? Apparently, in the old days children rode their bikes without helmets and played follow the leader in construction sites. I am 100% in favor of bike helmets, but I'm pretty sure if Charlotte watched those old clips (the episodes I grew up on), she's not about to decide that helmets are passe.

In sum, I really appreciated this book. I loved the author's sense of humor and her use of actual sources to parse out what is fact and what is not (how many Halloween candies have been found to be tainted? None!). I really want Charlotte to have the freedom to explore, to trust herself, and to know what to do if she gets in trouble. I can't be around her 100% of the time. I can't prevent every fall, but I can be there to kiss the "owies."(less)

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Jan 18, 2011 Sarah rated it 4 of 5 stars

I might have given this book 3 1/2 stars if I could. I enjoyed reading it, and it was quick read, but it isn't a must-read... unless you are one of those moms/dads that have every sharp corner of your house covered with foam.

The author of Free Range Kids is a columnist and mom who got a lot of negative (and some positive) press back in 2007 for letting her 9 yo son ride the NY subway alone. She strongly believes in giving children independence, real-world skills, and plenty of play outside to na...more I might have given this book 3 1/2 stars if I could. I enjoyed reading it, and it was quick read, but it isn't a must-read... unless you are one of those moms/dads that have every sharp corner of your house covered with foam.

The author of Free Range Kids is a columnist and mom who got a lot of negative (and some positive) press back in 2007 for letting her 9 yo son ride the NY subway alone. She strongly believes in giving children independence, real-world skills, and plenty of play outside to name a few. She gives several statistics that reveal that a lot of our fears as parents (i.e. child abduction) are so blown out of proportion by the media. Of course, the media spews all the fear-inducing stories (rather than positive news) and often times has the stories wrong in the first place or purposely leaves out the information that makes them less fear-inducing. And TV shows like Law & Order and CSI (two shows I don't find appealing, thank goodness) leave impressions on our mind that we can't shake. And its not just the media and TV but it's corporations. Products geared towards parents make us feel like we can't trust ourselves. One of the things that she points out that stuck with me is she implied that the toilet lid locks became popular when one professional baby-proofer on The Early Show said that "on average two children a week die in toilets" when in reality the CPSC received reports of 16 children under the age of 5 drowning in toilets between 1996 and 1999... which is on average 4 per year in America. It is annoying to think that a lot of effort and money is being spent in places that it shouldn't (yes, I bought a toilet lid lock), but more importantly we are worrying about things that are so remotely possible. I agree with Skenazy that we need to trust our children more, we need to worry less, and be a little more carefree. We need to get out more and explore more. We need to tell our children to talk to strangers but to not go away with strangers. All good advice... but a bit redundant at times.

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Dec 28, 2010 Meredith rated it 4 of 5 stars

I was one of the many parents who thought Lenore was off her rocker for letting her 9 y/o take the subway alone in NYC. As a native of Boston, I am comfortable in big cities and on the subway and I would never let my 9 y/o do that and still think she was really unwise in that choice.

That said, this was a great book. Since I knew I wasn't going to agree with everything she said, I expected to disagree with a lot of the book. Instead, I realized how much I've held my own kids back and that a lot...more

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Nov 11, 2009 Corinne rated it 4 of 5 stars

I heard some buzz about this book a while ago, and even just from what a good friend wrote about the book, I knew it was something that would interest me.

Let me start off by saying this is not your average parenting book. It's not really "un-parenting" either - it's about taking the nitty-gritty of parenting seriously but knowing when your job as a parent is to just let go and let your children do things on their own. It's about giving your kids skills and then letting them actually USE those sk...more I heard some buzz about this book a while ago, and even just from what a good friend wrote about the book, I knew it was something that would interest me.

Let me start off by saying this is not your average parenting book. It's not really "un-parenting" either - it's about taking the nitty-gritty of parenting seriously but knowing when your job as a parent is to just let go and let your children do things on their own. It's about giving your kids skills and then letting them actually USE those skills in the real world.

Lenore Skenazy is all about the real world.

She lays all the facts out on the table, and in a zany and humorous way she lays many parenting, nay, societal myths onto the chopping block. She tackles everything from the safety of Halloween candy to educational dvds to, yes, the infamous scenario of letting her nine year old ride the subway alone. What she hammers into us (and yes, it's sometimes a bit repetitive) is that the world is NOT REALLY A COMPLETELY UNSAFE PLACE. Through the media and our own collective, technologically advanced fear, we have convinced ourselves that all horrible things that could happen have a very good chance of happening to us, at any moment, and our sureness of this fact has really hampered our ability to teach our children confidence, competence and independence.

I know that's a really long sentence. But I'm kinda thinking it works.

I enjoyed listening to this one. The reader was pretty hilarious - the book has a really conversational tone and does a great job of giving baby step tips on how to start giving your children small bits of independence, some of which I've already started trying at home. I think, if nothing else, this book offers a great second opinion on so so many of the issues out there - and makes you stop and think: what if maybe I don't REALLY have to be so terrified about "blank?"

It's worth reading, I do think. I really do want to raise confident and independent people and this book is certainly a good place to start. (less)

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Sep 01, 2009 Deirdre rated it 5 of 5 stars

This book is by Lenore Skenazy, the woman who allowed her then 9 year old to take the New York Subway system all by himself one afternoon, wrote about it for the NY Sun, and incurred the wrath of many and started a media frenzy about whether she was a bad mother endangering her child...or not. After being questioned/grilled by multiple media outlets, she sat back to contemplate why exactly letting a child do what children did regularly only 20 years ago, that is walk around without total parenta...more

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May 24, 2009 Albena rated it 3 of 5 stars

As with any parenting book, it wouldn't hurt to read it, but don't forget to follow your own mind.
The book is well organized and has its good points against 'helicopter', overprotective parenting. I also like Lenore Skenazy's style and sense of humor. But not all the parents I've seen around are overprotective and constantly worrying to that extent. I've seen parents close to the types she describes, but isn't it their own business?
The part about the non-English speaking part of the world is e...more

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Feb 07, 2012 Julie rated it 4 of 5 stars

I've read Lenore's blog for years and agree strongly with her premise and goals. Kids are 40 times more likely to die in a car accident than by abduction, but we still strap them in for every little errand. Yes, we make them as safe as we can while doing so, but not to the point of curbing our own lives. Similarly, kids are 10 times more likely to die in a house fire than by abduction, but we put in our fire detectors and plans and teach them fire safety, and assume we've done our best. Yet we D...more I've read Lenore's blog for years and agree strongly with her premise and goals. Kids are 40 times more likely to die in a car accident than by abduction, but we still strap them in for every little errand. Yes, we make them as safe as we can while doing so, but not to the point of curbing our own lives. Similarly, kids are 10 times more likely to die in a house fire than by abduction, but we put in our fire detectors and plans and teach them fire safety, and assume we've done our best. Yet we DO feel pressured to curb nearly every aspect of their freedoms when it comes to playing outside and doing things that children did without panic and fear only 1 generation ago. We work hard to let our 5 and 6 year old do household tasks that they're ready for, to walk up to the cashier at the ice cream stand and place their own order, to play outside for hours with us just peeking out a window occasionally to make sure they aren't trapped in a tree. Just like the other far more likely risks, we've made the precautions that are most likely to be effective, taught them everything we think is most helpful if the unlikely happens, and then let life roll.

However. I do disagree with some of her snarky comments. Small example: Why pick on "womb sounds" crib soothers? They work to soothe babies when parents choose not to co-sleep and give that heartbeat directly. For all the "look how other cultures and historical times did it...", that seems counter to much of her premise. Ditto on wipe warmers. I didn't use either of these products since we co-sleep and use a warm-ish water bottle on cloth wipes; but I think attachment parenting is a strong foundation for knowing your kids and having them trust you enough (and you trust them enough!) to tell you when things seem wrong or they need help or are ready to free-range it. Not saying either of those are required to do attachment parenting or necessary at all, but why snark at products designed to comfort and soothe babies? "Free range parenting" and "baby-led infant care" are completely compatible. It's about recognizing what your child needs and responding to the need--not creating a need that isn't there or ignoring it out of what every other kid is or is not needing.

Likewise, our kids' school does a very similar drop off and pick-up to the one she bashes in Florida. However, ours is a private school in which fewer than 5% of the kids live anywhere near the school. Most, like us, are 5+ miles away and there is no bus option. The few walkers are released from a side door which opens toward sidewalks and neighborhoods, but the majority of the kids are kept inside as parents queue up in their cars around the back side of the building with the kids' name cards on the dashboard during their appointed time window. The kids for the 6-10 cars in the "circle" area are quickly escorted out to the cars and then they drive off and another batch of cars pulls in. The whole thing takes 20-30 minutes to dispatch all 300 kids or so and parents don't have to park and walk in (perhaps with babies who were cozily napping) or deal with weather. Or wait around in our parked cars in some giant otherwise-unused parking lot for our kids to wander out and find us, meanwhile worrying that some kid is going to dart around your car to get to their parent as you back out. It's LOVELY. It's not about "stranger danger". In fact, our kids' school has one of the more laid back policies I've seen about WHO can pick them up. Maybe the Florida school is doing it primarily out of hype, but knowing how and why our school does it makes me then question a lot of the shock-and-awe examples of the book.

Anyhow, other than a few places that led to eye rolls I loved it.(less)

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Aug 05, 2010 Katie rated it 5 of 5 stars

I loved this book but not necessarily the style of writing. I read it appropriately while staying in NYC with my 19 month old. It inspired me to do some things differently. One evening at a park/playground in central park, I sat down and let my son go off on his own. Although I didn't take my eyes off him, he was pretty far away. Not once was he scared, did he get hurt or did he lose track of where I was. He happily explored and interacted with other kids without me helicoptering and managing. A...more

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Dec 07, 2009 Lisa Butterworth rated it 3 of 5 stars

This book was really good for the parent (like me) (sometimes) who needs a cheerleader to tell me my more laid-back less helicoptery parenting choices are okay, and it doesn't mean I don't love my kids. She wrote this book after she wrote an article in the New York Star (I think) about how she let her nine year old take the subway home, by himself. And even though such an adventure is statistically much safer than driving him home, she became dubbed 'the worst mom in America'. Skenazy has a grea...more This book was really good for the parent (like me) (sometimes) who needs a cheerleader to tell me my more laid-back less helicoptery parenting choices are okay, and it doesn't mean I don't love my kids. She wrote this book after she wrote an article in the New York Star (I think) about how she let her nine year old take the subway home, by himself. And even though such an adventure is statistically much safer than driving him home, she became dubbed 'the worst mom in America'. Skenazy has a great funny voice and the book flows smooth and easy.

It's interesting to hear all the statistics, How kids are safer now than they've ever been. How crimes towards children have been falling off a cliff since the early 90s (she compared it to the dive in Berney Madoff's birthday cards). It's interesting how far out of line our fears are to the actual danger, how teaching stranger danger is actually making our kids less safe.

Where it doesn't really live up to my hopes . . . Basically it has a lot of the same information as DeBecker's Protecting the Gift, but not as much and not as helpful. Obviously the focus of the books are quite different, free range kids is really more all about telling you to relax already and let your kids have some freedom and stop worrying about a bunch of things that are infinitesimally likely to happen (like stranger abductions), and DeBecker's book is more about stop worrying about things like stranger abductions because they distract you from worrying about things like kids playing with guns.

But whereas DeBecker gives lots of helpful advice for the real (rather than imagined, media hyped fear of Halloween candy) dangers, like acquaintance sexual abuse, Skenanzy is entirely silent on these issues (again this may be because of the focus of the book, still I found it less helpful). Also, I found myself annoyed as she threw out historical examples of children in previous centuries "making it on their own" she gave examples of kids working to support the family at age six, kids being their younger children's care givers at ages as young as five, kids immigrating by themselves to America at the age of 11, I imagine that she was just trying to show how strong and capable kids can be, but mostly it just annoyed me, because those kids died a lot, and they suffered a lot, and though I do know my kids are capable of a lot, I don't find those situations even remotely idealistic.

Though I do like hearing that I'm not the worst mom in America for letting my kids walk a couple blocks to a friend's house, to the bus stop, or to play at the park. Because they can do it, it makes them feel strong and independent, and they really are safe.

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Oct 16, 2009 Leah rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: kindle

I really enjoy the Free Range Kids idea. This book is a great way to introduce people to the concept - it is really a relaxing read after all the hundreds of different panicky ways to screw up your kid in current media. I particularly loved the baby steps and brave steps with specific advice on how to become more free range.

A couple relatively minor reservations - I wish she stuck more to free range advice for parents of toddlers and up. Babies are something of a different thing, in that they a...more

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Jul 06, 2011 Jodi rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: parents

Shelves: non-fiction, parenting

When I heard about this book, I was all set to be shocked and really dislike the author. After all, what kind of parent lets her 9 year old ride the subway in NYC all by himself?!? After reading her book, I must admit she makes some good points. I'm not ready to turn my children loose on the subway system just yet but am now allowing them to ride their bikes around the block - I hadn't allowed it yet because we don't have sidewalks all the way around and I don't want them to get hit by a car. Sh...more When I heard about this book, I was all set to be shocked and really dislike the author. After all, what kind of parent lets her 9 year old ride the subway in NYC all by himself?!? After reading her book, I must admit she makes some good points. I'm not ready to turn my children loose on the subway system just yet but am now allowing them to ride their bikes around the block - I hadn't allowed it yet because we don't have sidewalks all the way around and I don't want them to get hit by a car. She has made me realize that this fear is really unfounded. I rode by bike all the way to the library when I was my daughter's age clear across town and was gone for hours. As a society today, we are more fearful because of sensationalized news but she pointed out with convincing statistics from reputable sources that our fears our out of proportion with reality. Hmmmmm............food to think about.

The author's comments about trick-or-treating were spot-on too! This should be a fun holiday and so much of the fun has been taking out of it for today's kids. Free x-rays at local hospitals for razor blades in candy - the author went to a hospital in Columbus and asked if anything was ever found in all the years they did this and the answer was NO! In all my years of getting candy (and yes, I trick-or-treated in high school and will allow my children to do the same), I have never seen a bad piece of candy. My children now have 7 Halloweens under their belts with no trouble either. I do agree that we have let "urban legends" of poisoned candy and razor blades in apples make us a little hysterical! My kids have received apples and baked goods from neighbors and I have never made them throw these items away. Why would the neighbor four house down try to poison my children. Guess I am really free-range here!!!

I loved the comment that the author wrote stating "Yes, we parents have a lot of influence over our kids. But so do their friends, so do their siblings, so does their environment, and especially, so do their genes." p. 105 Amen! I do worry so much about my children (and know I'll continue to do so) but this comment helped me to put things back in perspective. If my children make poor choices it is not entirely my fault! Not that I won't still worry about it, but our children are who they are and all I can do is try to teach them right from wrong and be a positive influence in their lives (VERY STRONGLY) but even so, they may do things I am not happy about. She also mentioned successful people like Obama, Reagan, and Julie Andrews who had a less than perfect childhood and still turned out to be amazing adults.

Another quote I love on p. 151 is "A lot of moms tend to thenk that if they don't do everything that natural way - natural childbirth, natural baby feeding, natural whatever - they are less than perfect, and their kids will be too. But guess what? There's no such thing as perfections, and aiming for it will only drive you crazy."

I am going to try to go more free-range in baby steps. Beginning with riding around the block. I have been allowing my children to play outside for two summers now without me sitting outside with them - however I felt compelled to let the neighbors know that I was watching through the window lest they believe I was a negligent mother! I have also let my kids apply their own sunscreen now and make more of their lunches since beginning this book - I even let my 8 1/2 year old slice her own apple with a real knife yesterday!!!!! Baby steps, baby steps towards independence. I guess I should sign off and go check out the window to make sure they are still fine - I haven't looked since I started typing this review.....................(less)

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May 07, 2010 Terri rated it 1 of 5 stars

Recommended to Terri by: Andrea

Shelves: eastridge-book-club, didn-t-finish

I will start by saying that I rarely read "self-help" books. In this way I can agree with Skenazy. I think we should trust our own instincts and the advice of close friends and family over books by strangers.

I can agree with her in a few other ways. I agree with her about the crazy law suits. We all should take responsibility for our own actions. I also agree with her that children need responsibilities and freedom, but I think the freedom should come age appropriately. Children can babysit othe...more

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Jul 09, 2012 Kryptique rated it 4 of 5 stars

Loved this book! It is great to see the actual stats--number of kids killed by a stranger poisoning or tampering with Halloween candy? ZERO!!! Yes that is true, ZERO. We have become such a fearing society, blamed in this book on media changes and sensationalizing the very, very, very rare bad news story without mentioning all the times nothing dramatic happened. The world is NOT more dangerous than when we were kids. It just seems that way from how it's depicted in media. I took a lot away from...more

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Mar 29, 2012 Katie rated it 4 of 5 stars

If you played outside as a kid but don't think it's safe for your kid to play outside (unsupervised! outside the yard!), read this. For some folks it'll be a revelation.

For me and most parents I know, it's more like encouragement and ammunition. Sort of a "this is what you're going to have to deal with if you let your kids walk to school, but these are the statistics you can tell people, and here are the reasons it's TOTALLY worth it." Mine are still 2 and 4, so I'm not going to be packing them...more

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Nov 07, 2012 Shannon McNamara rated it 3 of 5 stars

Okay, my official review of Free Range Kids… Overall, I like the book. It was well written and the information in it was really helpful in alleviating certain fears and putting them into perspective. The author was funny but I felt like she went a little too far and came off as defensive with her writing. She has clearly hit some speed bumps on her road to anxiety-less parenting and allowing her two sons to begin exploring on their own, and was judged pretty harshly for her own actions, but I fe...more

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Mar 17, 2013 Jenn rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2013

This was a refreshing read. It reminded me how safe my kids really are (did you know that today's crime rates are back down to where they were in the early 70s?) and that worrying about your kids doesn't make them any safer. Rather, teach them and empower them to make good decisions and then...let go. I loved how much she talked about empowering kids. They can accomplish a lot more than we think. The book focused almost entirely on school-aged children, but I think I can apply some of the princi...more

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Feb 24, 2013 Colin rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I read this today and was relieved to find it was written by someone who can actually write, has a sense of humour and - best of all - can succesfully avoid triggering the gag reflex of a 41-year-old male curmudgeon. I was quite interested at the range of emotion it provoked in me, from wanting to shake her hand and buy her a drink to wanting to hurl the book across the room. I didn't hurl it though because it's an audiobook and my ipod is precious so I hurled James Joyce's "Ulysses" instead. Ev...more

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Dec 19, 2009 Connie Kuntz rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Parents, of course, but also young adults

Recommended to Connie by: Mary Fran Ransick Olson

Lenore Skenazy is a warmhearted, humorous op-ed columnist that I've enjoyed reading over the years and will continue to enjoy for years to come. She writes in an amusing but thoroughly provocative way about the hysteria that is involved in parenting.

Free Range Kids is humorous because she pokes fun at ridiculous baby marketing, including baby knee pads that were invented "to prevent your crawling baby from spinning out of control when she transitions from the rug to the hardwood floor."

As new...more Lenore Skenazy is a warmhearted, humorous op-ed columnist that I've enjoyed reading over the years and will continue to enjoy for years to come. She writes in an amusing but thoroughly provocative way about the hysteria that is involved in parenting.

Free Range Kids is humorous because she pokes fun at ridiculous baby marketing, including baby knee pads that were invented "to prevent your crawling baby from spinning out of control when she transitions from the rug to the hardwood floor."

As new parents, every single decision we had to make felt like a complicated moral dilemma. We felt so pressured to buy such DUMB things. I can't even believe we had a Diaper Genie. Seriously. A trash can isn't good enough?

Anyway, the book got me to thinking about my maternal instinct. Where does it begin and end and when does fear and hysteria replace it? And why? I don't know if I'll ever be clear.

The author recommends many good things, like asking advice from a parent who was raised "free range." That makes good sense. I think that a good, inspiring conversation can happen when you ask someone about the freedoms of their childhood.

Even though I enjoyed this book and the advice within, I want to point out a chapter that simply doesn't sit well with me. In Chapter 2, Skenazy recommends not watching the news and cooling it on the Law & Order and other crime-driven programs. I think that is dangerous, superior-minded advice. I understand her point about the networks using fear to lure viewers/boost ratings, but I still think it is crucial to gather information from a wide variety of sources. By not gathering information, I think hysteria is even more inevitable. An informed, thoughtful decision is the best decision.

I also want to point out that for very similar reasons, I've heard many people recommend not reading the newspaper, either. I also consider that dangerous, superior-minded advice. My first introduction to Skenazy's work, by the way, was through the newspaper. I notice she didn't trash her employer/media, even though it is widely believed that fear and the adage "If it bleeds it leads" as well as corporate and political corruption are what drive the industry.

Aside from that, Skenazy's perspective is well thought out and researched and I enjoy her commitment to her opinion. I think she is brilliant and brave. This is the first parenting book that I've read that has been as informative as it is entertaining as it is provocative.
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Free-Range Kids: Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts with Worry

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