Finding A1A

The flight was not unlike many others I have had in my past other than the wave of sorrow that hits me every twenty minutes. I'm struggling with my reasons for being here and my loss. My heart hurts so deeply it's hard to think rationally anymore. The man that sat next to me looks my way every time the tears came on. I wanted to explain to him that I lost the love of my life but then again what I really wanted was just to be alone. Florida is hot and muggy but beautiful to look at. A1A is like any other highway only it's real flat. The ocean is a teal color of blue and the water, so warm. I feel inside the small can that holds my love and close my fingers around a handful of ash. I watch as my hand opens toward the water and Gary leaves with the breeze. Sitting on a beach a thousand miles from home doesn't ease the pain, nothing does. Missing Gary has become my only focus in life. I am afraid of everything and most of all I am afraid of myself. I want to feel his hand holding mine, I want to see his smile, I want to listen to his voice making my world seem right and calm. I miss him God!
Tomorrow I will start my journey home and tonight I will cry myself to sleep once again, remembering I had love, true love. And I will pray Gary will stay with me forever.