Editor's Desk #4: The "And Then" Bird
Stories, like animals, all have their unique features and identifiers. The stalking panther of horror, creating dread before it pounces. The peacock of literary romance, displaying skill and pride while wooing the plainer hens. Even the pachyderms of fantasy, trumpeting their charges as they cut epic swaths of territory are a sight to behold in full stride.
However, not all tales deserve totemic honor, due to defects of character, lack of skill or just bad genetics. A particularly invasive species is the irritating, commonplace "and then" bird. Often found pecking through the musky undergrowth of erotica and strutting behind romance, imitating the more skilled steps of its betters, this bird tends to trip over its own feet because it's so enthusiastic about telling you what it did and in what order it did it.
Metaphors aside, "and then" is a term that you can pretty much cut out of any manuscript unless it's in your dialogue. For pacing all it does it eat up space and make your text sound like it's out of breath. Also, chances are that your reader is assuming things are happening in the order that you're telling them. If that order is different, then you might want to re-structure the telling to make it as smooth as possible.
The other problem with the "and then" story is that the words don't actually need to be present for the story to take on the aspect of this obnoxious magpie. Just look at your text. If you do nothing but give a blow by blow account of everything that happens, you're telling a story the same way an overexcited 14 year old would tell his friends about how he made out with an older cheerleader. What you end up with is a rushed account of events that, while the facts are all there, lacks any style.
Pacing is the element that the "and then" bird never has. Whether it's because the writer's too excited to get to the end, or because this mysterious person doesn't know how to take time to draw out the tale, the surest way to lose an audience's interest is give them a rapid fire "and then." If you actually write out those words five, six or ten times in a paragraph, readers might hunt you down and beat you with what you created in hopes that it will teach you about proper pacing.
However, not all tales deserve totemic honor, due to defects of character, lack of skill or just bad genetics. A particularly invasive species is the irritating, commonplace "and then" bird. Often found pecking through the musky undergrowth of erotica and strutting behind romance, imitating the more skilled steps of its betters, this bird tends to trip over its own feet because it's so enthusiastic about telling you what it did and in what order it did it.
Metaphors aside, "and then" is a term that you can pretty much cut out of any manuscript unless it's in your dialogue. For pacing all it does it eat up space and make your text sound like it's out of breath. Also, chances are that your reader is assuming things are happening in the order that you're telling them. If that order is different, then you might want to re-structure the telling to make it as smooth as possible.
The other problem with the "and then" story is that the words don't actually need to be present for the story to take on the aspect of this obnoxious magpie. Just look at your text. If you do nothing but give a blow by blow account of everything that happens, you're telling a story the same way an overexcited 14 year old would tell his friends about how he made out with an older cheerleader. What you end up with is a rushed account of events that, while the facts are all there, lacks any style.
Pacing is the element that the "and then" bird never has. Whether it's because the writer's too excited to get to the end, or because this mysterious person doesn't know how to take time to draw out the tale, the surest way to lose an audience's interest is give them a rapid fire "and then." If you actually write out those words five, six or ten times in a paragraph, readers might hunt you down and beat you with what you created in hopes that it will teach you about proper pacing.
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Notes From the Editor's Desk
This is a place to get a humorous take on the many, many sins that writers commit to try and tell a story. Editors are bitter, angry, hateful people... but it's these things that make them that way!
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