Sheryn MacMunn's Blog: Sheryn MacMunn Wrote Here

Working Women

Wall Street Journal published an interesting article last week provocatively titled The Tyranny of the Queen Bee about the challenges of having a female boss and being a female boss. I've had some experiences working for Queen Bees and the character of Alessandra definitely fits the mold. She yells, cajoles, takes sides and works well with the men - even though she doesn't like them.

Reading the article reminded me how confusing and frightening it can be to have a difficult boss. Let's face it; we all work to support ourselves even if we are doing something that we love. My heart went out to the woman 'Erin' in the article who works at a magazine. Her boss confides in her one day then screams at her the next. When we are forced to deal with someone's bad behavior, especially our boss', the feeling of powerlessness is horrible.

Then the article describes the flip side which is having a woman subordinate who doesn't respect her female boss the way she respects the men. I remember having an assistant who would tell me about her personal problems. It was annoying because I could never have a simple conversation with her or give her something to do without hearing a litany of her issues. Plus she wanted my advice on very personal subjects which I couldn't give. I remember telling a male co-worker about the situation. His advice was to tell her 'I'm not here to be your therapist. Just do your job.' Well, I gave her a nicer version of that message and guess what? I got in trouble for being mean. I found it so interesting that I was much nicer than my male co-worker would have been but it still wasn't enough. And let's not forget the kind of woman who uses sabotage to advance her career. We've all met them. Some, unfortunately, make it really far up the ladder but they never seem really happy.

Then there is the other half of our gender, the male boss. They are not perfect either but there seems to be fewer studies focusing on male bosses and our feelings about them. I’d like to see a study about male bosses and their feelings on female workers. Male bosses can certainly be tough. The article suggests that men are equally hard on both men and women but I have found that men will build alliances with men before a woman. A friend of mine went for a job interview and the male interviewer only discussed her child care situation. He kept comparing my friend, a successful salesperson, to his wife and concluded that since his wife can barely manage their two kids, he couldn't see how my friend would be able to do the job. My friend, by the way, has been the #1 salesperson at her company for 5 years straight.

I’m happy to say that my current work situation is amazing. The entire company consists of a young workforce where the women are equally empowered and the executive staff is almost 50/50 women to men. I hope that by the time my daughters get to the workplace the issues in this article will be minimal (and they get paid the same as men). In order to get there, however, it's important that we think and talk about the issues presented here. You can check out the article here and feel free to leave a comment below: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001...

Labor Day, Back To School, and A Deal

There are a few reasons that I love celebrating Labor Day. The first is that our family had a big barbeque every year at our house. I always get nostalgic for my family on Labor Day because that generation is now gone. My grandparents and great-aunts and -uncles always had a fun time together sharing jokes, talking and listening. This was also the time of year that Aunt Catherine, who was in her early eighties, would have her annual glass of wine. Imagine a petite elderly lady giggling like a school girl and just being silly with us kids. Those family parties gave me a respect of my elders and showed me that all people have amazing life stories that I could never imagine.

Having that respect allowed me to have great friendships with my grandmothers until their deaths and allowed me to see my co-worker Ruth, who was forty years older than me, as a person instead of ‘an old lady’. Those memories shaped the storyline where Sheila gets the help she needs from her elderly neighbor, Ruth, because Ruth had a life that most people in this generation can’t imagine so they ignore this generation. I think those people are missing a valuable resource to learn about life. I'm sure glad that I didn't miss it and I wanted to share that lesson with others through my novel.

Another reason for me to celebrate Labor Day Weekend is that FINDING OUT was a labor of love for me which was years in the making. I realized that in order to teach my daughters to live their dreams, I had to live mine. So after a few years of starts and stops, I made a commitment to finish my novel. For the past four years, I used all my spare time to write, edit, and research WWII. It was fun and exhausting because I was working full time but I did it. To share my hard work with everyone else who works hard, I am offering FINDING OUT on Amazon Kindle for $.99 this weekend. Now everyone, on any budget, can enjoy the good feelings that readers say this book gives them. Feel free to share this deal with your friends, family or book club. You can click here to take advantage of this deal.

Another reason for me to celebrate this weekend is that my kids (who I love dearly) are back to school and, let's face it, that's just such a relief for a working Mom. To celebrate Back to School I participated in two guest blogs and giveaways. In one blog, I share my best first day of school (and my Kindergarten picture) at Crazy For Books. In the second blog, I wrote about my worst first day of school going into the fourth grade at Lori's Reading Corner. Please check them out and feel free to share your best or worst day of school in a comment section here. I’ll repost some of the comments on my Facebook Fan Page at www.facebook.com/sherynmacmunn.

So now I'm off to create some memories with my family this weekend so my children one day can look back fondly on their childhood and make their lives a dream come true.

Happy Labor Day.

A Wonderful Coincidence

I traveled for business last week with a nasty sinus and ear infection to Philadelphia, which is a wonderful city that I always enjoy visiting. After 3 long days with the President of the company (who is a great guy), I was waiting for the train back to CT when my phone rang. It was my 86 year old neighbor, Bunny. She had read my book and wanted to tell me how much she loved it and how the parts about Germany during WWII made her cry because they were so realistic.

I had done a lot of research on the history of WWII, and people who had hidden during WWII, to make sure the facts in the book were correct. Hearing Bunny tell me that Ruth's storyline reminded her of stories that her family shared was exhilarating. I know this will sound weird but when people tell me they cried while reading FINDING OUT, I get so happy.

The BEST part of the call is that Bunny and I made a date to have tea together, which happened today. Bunny is an elderly lady who wants company and I often wish that my Grandmothers and Ruth were alive so I could chat with them. Luckily, I don't have nutty coworkers or a bad break-up to share. We talked for two hours about her life and she was able to ask me questions about the book.

She referred to Joe as a "sin-in-law" because that's what she and her friends called a guy that lived with a girl before marriage. She also said that the character Annette was written perfectly as she had known any people that seemed to be sympathetic toward the Jews, but really supported the Nazis. Bunny shook her head and said "Cold people. You can't imagine how cold." Bunny was also so excited about one scene involving a dress (I can't say too much in case you haven't read the book) that she threw her hands in the air and dropped the book! She felt that scene was a perfect revenge.

There is so much more to say, but a massive lightening storm is underway and my lights are flickering. I will write more about my tea with Bunny and am so happy that there are more to come.

What's In A Name?

People have been asking how I chose the names for the characters in 'Finding Out'. To be honest, it was easier to choose names for my children. When I was pregnant, I felt as if I knew my kids' personalities because I could feel them moving and kicking.

While writing 'Finding Out', I thought I knew the characters' personalities but sometimes they veered in directions that I didn't expect. As an example, 'Sheila' wasn't always the name of the main character. In fact, I had a different plan for her life. As an example, I had tried to write a scene where the 'Sheila' character goes on a date but she just wouldn't speak. What I mean by that is whenever her date (a very cute Brit, I might add) asked a question, I couldn't think of a response to write. It was as if I watched the character sit like a lump on a log, nervous and uncomfortable. I really felt bad for her. Like she was a friend on a bad date.

After talking to a few writers, I learned that this is a great thing because my character was telling me the story. So I learned to listen to 'Sheila' and tell HER story and let the other characters develop on their own, too.

When the book was finished, I went back through the pages and made sure that the character names matched the personalities that had emerged. It was fun. I even used online name dictionaries. So here is a list of a few characters and how they got their names. I couldn't put all the definitions because it would give away the storyline, so if you have questions feel free to reach out.

Sheila Davenport - In Australia, Sheila is a nickname for all girls. By the time I was finished with 'Finding Out', I realized that Sheila's story is one for all women. We want to be loved, we want good friends in our lives and we want to be able to take care of ourselves when things go bad. Sheila is the person who is good and true, but needs a little help. 'Davenport' actually means a safe haven, which is what Sheila is trying to find and trying to be for her friends and co-workers. She sticks up for co-workers when things go wrong and agrees to be maid of honor though her heart is breaking. She's the kind of person you can trust.

Ruth - The character of Ruth is a mixture of my two grandmothers, Virginia and Rose, and a woman named Ruth who was like a third grandmother to me. These three women helped me grow into the woman I am today. They were always loving, supportive and ready to listen. They also gave me advice that I didn't always want to hear. Some of the advice that Ruth gives Sheila in the book is actual advice I received from one of these wonderful women. I decided on the name 'Ruth' because it means friend, which perfectly defines the spirit of this character.

Baxter DeVry - Baxter got his name because it sounds like 'backstabber' and DeVry seems devilish.

Paul Lynch - the name Paul means 'small' and he's a little man in height and integrity.

Crystal - A friend's wife is named Crystal and I just loved the name. For the character (who is nothing like my friend's wife), it was perfect the perfect name because a Crystal is sparkling and beautiful but also cold with hard edges.

Alessandra - means defending men which is what Alessandra is all about. Plus it is just a sexy name. Made me think of her as a lioness - who would kill and eat you ;-)

Eliza - Is a variation of my good friend's name: 'Elisa'. She's someone you can rely on 100%.

König - means King which is how I saw Ruth's family. With all they go through, they keep soldiering on with grace and dignity.

Rolf - his name is taken from The Sound of Music. For those who don't know, or remember, Rolf gives up the Von Trapp family as a loyal member of the Nazi party.

Annette Malfique - (SPOILER ALERT) in French, Annette's last name means evil.

It was fascinating to watch these characters take me on a journey. I'm glad I had the heart to listen.

Summer Begins

The summer is here and school is out. It's been a hectic time. One stepson graduated from high school while our youngest graduated from kindergarten. Both events really got me thinking. Not just about the passing of time but of the dreams we have when we are young and sometimes lose along the way.

If you read my author page, you know that writing a book has always been a dream. Accomplishing my dream at this stage of my life (And no, I'm not old. Well, not to people my age anyway.) has been a blessing. It has given me the ability to dream like my children are doing now. It has given me the chance to imagine a life that I don't currently have. It's not that my life is bad, mind you. But to dream that I can be a writer and that people will actually read my books is wonderful.

Writing FINDING OUT, also reminded me that hard work and perseverance can pay off. Now, I work full time and love my job. But working hard at 'work' isn't always fulfilling because success often depends on how your boss views your work.

As I listened to the speeches at the high school graduation (there were songs at the kindergarten version), I couldn't help but think of Sheila Davenport. She arrived in New York to have a fantastic life and it starts off great. But then she has to re-evaluate everything and find her way all over again. It's something many of us have to do.

All children, especially teenagers, think they have the world in their hands. Some will rise, some will fall, some will end up in the middle. Adults somehow forget that we have the world in our hands, too. Part of that is living through good and bad times. Some of it is just dealing with the bills and keeping the house clean. What I hope for all the adults out there is that you can find one thing this summer that makes you believe in a dream for you. It doesn't have to be big. It doesn't have to be something you accomplish. It just has to be a dream - and make you smile.

Character Building

For my first post, I'm going to answer a question that many people have asked:

"How did you create the character, Ruth?"

Although everyone relates to Sheila, Ruth is the person that people seem to love. It makes sense. Ruth is Sheila's savior with common sense advice and, let's face it, she always has food!

So let me tell you how 'Ruth' came to be...

While I was writing the story, I was stuck on a certain storyline. Sheila was supposed to go on a date but wasn't cooperating with me. (I'll share in a later post about what happens when characters take over your brain.) I went to a two-day writers workshop at my local library and asked the fellow writers what to do. That's when someone suggested using someone else's romance to teach Sheila about love. I instantly had a breakthrough.

In my life, I had three strong female role models (in addition to my Mother) who gave me advice about life. My Nana, Virginia; my Grammy, Rose; and my good friend, Ruth with whom I worked for years. Each of these women lived through the depression and WWII so whenever I had a problem, they always seemed to have the most perfect advice, especially about relationships.

By the time I was writing FINDING OUT, each of these amazing women had passed away and I missed each of them terribly. I can truly say that I think of them every day. I was lucky to have spent hours talking with each of them over many meals, on the phone, and in letters. As a result, they live in my heart.

So, I decided to combine the best of each woman to create the 'fairy godmother' for Sheila.

From Virginia (who has a character named after her), I chose her sense of style and dressmaking. In our family, the dresses were always handmade and received many compliments. Virginia was also an amazing cook Every Sunday we went to her house, or another family members for homemade Italian cooking. The character, Senita Scalese, is also a good cook and is named after my great-grandmother.

From Ruth, I chose to create the storyline about WWII. Ruth was held in Germany during the war. For her, the stories that she told were like many others so she didn't dwell on it. I did a lot of research for the WWII segment of the story, including contacting some survivors of the war who were hidden as children. I also included Ruth's relationship advice about dating and marriage.

From Rose, I took some of her greatest quotes of all time, such as "Your education has been neglected". I heard that phrase when I didn't know a piece of history or the different patterns on Spode china. The red couch in the story (and the image on the book cover) also represents my Grammy because she had a red velvet couch in her home. The last time I was with her, I looked at that couch as I walked out the door and thought of all the memories that couch held. I didn't know that would be the last I would see my grandmother alive.

All three women also had careers that were fulfilling and gave them great pride. Each was married for many decades and put their families first, which gave me the basis to be the person I am today.

They were truly from the 'greatest generation' and I am so thankful for their wisdom. I am glad that readers like it, too.