Ned Vizzini's Blog

'House of Secrets' Trailer Contest

⇑ That's House of Secrets, the book I co-wrote with Chris Columbus that you can win (signed by me) while supplies last!

To enter, just TWEET THE BOOK TRAILER:



You can tweet the trailer by clicking here.

I will pick two winners a week until I am out of books! Please note -- some winners will get hardcover books, some will get paperback "international" versions, and a few lucky winners will get UK editions. (Note: this contest IS open to international entries.)

Thank you and good luck!

'House of Secrets' is Out -- Trailer Contest

⇑ That's House of Secrets, the book I co-write with Chris Columbus that you can win (signed by me) all summer!

To enter, just TWEET THE BOOK TRAILER:



You can tweet the trailer by clicking here.

I will pick two winners a week until October 25, 2013! (Or until I am out of books.) Please note -- some winners will get hardcover books, some will get paperback "international" versions, and a few lucky winners will get UK editions. (Note: this contest IS open to international entries.)

Thank you and have a great summer!

First Sentences, First Minutes, First Seconds

⇑ That's the prize pack I'm offering for this contest that runs until April 23rd : 1 House of Secrets advance copy (with special packaging), 1 Be More Chill, & 1 It's Kind of a Funny Story audiobook. All signed by me.

To enter, just retweet THIS LINK, which contains the first line of House of Secrets:

"Brendan Walker knew the house was going to be terrible."

I will pick one winner every week! Booksellers: you have preferential treatment because I like you. But other than that, winners chosen randomly!



Now, I think a lot about first lines. The most important thing about a book is its ending, because if a book starts off badly, but ends well, it leaves you redeemed and buoyant. But the second-most important thing is the first line.


Writers and booksellers may disagree and say that first lines are more important, because if your first line isn't good, the reader will never buy the book. But to that argument, I say...

Dragon Tattoo, people. Dragon Tattoo.



Have you ever met someone who's read Dragon Tattoo? They all say the strangest thing:

"Well, the first sixty pages are all about libel law in Sweden... BUT THEN IT GETS AMAZING."

What?! The first sixty pages were boring? How did you get through them? How did the book sell a gazillion copies? The answer lies in the hidden challenge of a book with a boring beginning, which is this:

If you're smart enough, you'll get through the boring part and find the book's special secrets.

Lord of the Rings works this way. Everyone agrees that Fellowship is bit slow... but by the time you get to The Two Towers, you can't put it down. And The Return of the King? Astounding! Oh, wait, you didn't get that far?

Well, maybe you're not the sort of person who can handle LOTR. Maybe you can read Narnia books, which are easier. You know, for children.



Maybe I sound bitter here. I'm not. I'm just pointing out that there are no Dragon Tattoo-style books in children's literature. YA and middle grade books from Alice and Wonderland on must deliver the goods quickly. (Remember, Alice goes down the rabbit hole on page one.)

In fact, in comparison to TV and film, books for young people have less room to breathe. You can start an episode of Breaking Bad with Walter White drinking a cup of coffee for 20 seconds. You can start a film with hominids sitting in a cave. Your audience has already committed to being there in some capacity.

A novel on a shelf in a bookstore has no such luxury. It is going to be picked up (because the cover isn't terrible), opened (because the summary looked ok), and sampled. And the sampling is going to begin on page one. So unless it's Dragon Tattoo or Lord of the Rings and its reputation proceeds it, page one better be good.

So in co-writing page one of House of Secrets, I learned from three people:


Chris Columbus
Chris established early on that we were going to end every chapter of House of Secrets on a cliffhanger. He'll tell you that when he wrote Gremlins, each scene was about topping the scene before. So if the first sentence is "Brendan knew the house was going to be terrible," that will force us to make the house really terrible.




Gordon Korman
Gordon Korman isn't just a great writer, he's one of those people who can talk about writing. I saw him at an LATimes Book Festival three years ago talking about how his ideal reader, the one who's in his head judging as he writes, is an impatient 12-year-old boy saying, "C'mon, give it to me!"



Joe Strummer
In a similar vein, watch Joe Strummer talk about the Ramones:

"I particularly learned that from the Ramones, that 'Slam! There's that number. Where's the next one?!' Because there's people watching and -- people've got things to do! It's a busy world out there -- give it to 'em!"


That's really all your first line has to do. Give it to 'em.

First Sentences, First Mintues, First Seconds

⇑ That's the prize pack I'm offering for this contest that runs until April 23rd : 1 House of Secrets advance copy (with special packaging), 1 Be More Chill, & 1 It's Kind of a Funny Story audiobook. All signed by me.

To enter, just retweet THIS LINK, which contains the first line of House of Secrets:

"Brendan Walker knew the house was going to be terrible."

I will pick one winner every week! Booksellers: you have preferential treatment because I like you. But other than that, winners chosen randomly!



Now, I think a lot about first lines. The most important thing about a book is its ending, because if a book starts off badly, but ends well, it leaves you redeemed and buoyant. But the second-most important thing is the first line.


Writers and booksellers may disagree and say that first lines are more important, because if your first line isn't good, the reader will never buy the book. But to that argument, I say...

Dragon Tattoo, people. Dragon Tattoo.



Have you ever met someone who's read Dragon Tattoo? They all say the strangest thing:

"Well, the first sixty pages are all about libel law in Sweden... BUT THEN IT GETS AMAZING."

What?! The first sixty pages were boring? How did you get through them? How did the book sell a gazillion copies? The answer lies in the hidden challenge of a book with a boring beginning, which is this:

If you're smart enough, you'll get through the boring part and find the book's special secrets.

Lord of the Rings works this way. Everyone agrees that Fellowship is bit slow... but by the time you get to The Two Towers, you can't put it down. And The Return of the King? Astounding! Oh, wait, you didn't get that far?

Well, maybe you're not the sort of person who can handle LOTR. Maybe you can read Narnia books, which are easier. You know, for children.



Maybe I sound bitter here. I'm not. I'm just pointing out that there are no Dragon Tattoo-style books in children's literature. YA and middle grade books from Alice and Wonderland on must deliver the goods quickly. (Remember, Alice goes down the rabbit hole on page one.)

In fact, in comparison to TV and film, books for young people have less room to breathe. You can start an episode of Breaking Bad with Walter White drinking a cup of coffee for 20 seconds. You can start a film with hominids sitting in a cave. Your audience has already committed to being there in some capacity.

A novel on a shelf in a bookstore has no such luxury. It is going to be picked up (because the cover isn't terrible), opened (because the summary looked ok), and sampled. And the sampling is going to begin on page one. So unless it's Dragon Tattoo or Lord of the Rings and its reputation proceeds it, page one better be good.

So in co-writing page one of House of Secrets, I learned from three people:


Chris Columbus
Chris established early on that we were going to end every chapter of House of Secrets on a cliffhanger. He'll tell you that when he wrote Gremlins, each scene was about topping the scene before. So if the first sentence is "Brendan knew the house was going to be terrible," that will force us to make the house really terrible.




Gordon Korman
Gordon Korman isn't just a great writer, he's one of those people who can talk about writing. I saw him at an LATimes Book Festival three years ago talking about how his ideal reader, the one who's in his head judging as he writes, is an impatient 12-year-old boy saying, "C'mon, give it to me!"



Joe Strummer
In a similar vein, watch Joe Strummer talk about the Ramones:

"I particularly learned that from the Ramones, that 'Slam! There's that number. Where's the next one?!' Because there's people watching and -- people've got things to do! It's a busy world out there -- give it to 'em!"


That's really all your first line has to do. Give it to 'em.

The 25 Winners of the House Of Secrets "Secret for a Secret" Contest

Thanks to all who entered the contest for House of Secrets!



This book is coming out April 23, 2013, but the 25 people who won this contest will get an advance copy in some special packaging.

We had more than 100 people enter this contest from all over the world. The challenge was to share a secret about yourself, something a stranger wouldn't know.... and the best (funniest, bravest, weirdest) secrets won House of Secrets.

If your name has a * next to it, that means I DO NOT HAVE YOUR MAILING ADDRESS. You need to contact me through Facebook or my contact page to give me your mailing address for me to send you a book.

Winners...

higgschrishiggs *
I cry during nearly every episode of How I Met Your Mother.
juliarepusic
I used to break my cousins toys and wait for them to find them and when they did I would blame it on my sisters
narajoe176
When I was little I used to steal (and eat) my puppy's dog chocolate ;P
MendiolaBrandon
I am guilty of taking a Pacific Cooler Capri Sun in my lunch everyday...and yes, I am a college student. #YOLO
mudgeAmoo
I write msgs in my text books addressed to the next owner of it. Sending them on a wild hunt around the area.
Oneminutemonkey
My secret: I used to cheat at Rubik's Cube by taking it apart and putting it back together....
ahleeseeah
I'm still mourning the distinct lack of my Hogwarts letter
ravenuhler
When I broke my mom's favorite glass, instead of putting it back, I just threw it away
ParanoiDork
I used to eat dirt
finnickly
i set fires to feel joy
sacrulen *
when was 14 a spider crawled on me & i spent hours writing out my will because i genuinely thought i was dying
RackLuvsBooks *
Every year, I toss out the Xmas candy by g'ma buys me. I don't tell her b/c it reminds her of my childhood.
amystokes12 *
when I was little I glued my grandparents dogs together and blamed it on my brother. (Wanted Siamese twin dogs)
MichelleBitnerS *
I eat my children's candy when they are not home.
JessicaMFlesher *
I had a private theory during most of second grade that Europe was a story that adults had made up.
justdave360 *
When i was a kid i take all the sprinkler heads off of neighbors yard and me and my had a hidden collection.
Jackulation12 *
When I was little, I used to pretend to my school friends that I lived in London and David Beckham was my Dad.
lolcandypop *
When I was really little, like at the age of four, I used to want to marry my dad when I got older.
lovepookybees *
When I was little I would walk around the food store and eat all the veggies. I thought they were free.
Desi_Gay *
When I was a kid I pooped my pants at my neighbors house then hid my undies in their houseplant and ran home
bookishandnerdy *
i am deathly afraid of snails and slugs
amandameetsbook
I had an imaginary friend named Normal. He "died" in an underground volcano in my grandma's backyard.
xpewdieschair *
[secret redacted]
skyrocketedfame *
When I watched Harry Potter 6 in the cinema, I stood in the part where the students raised their wands in respect of Dumbledore's death. Nobody dared to tell me to sit down
Noelle (via email) *
When I had my first baby, I was terrified when I was the only adult home with her. I was afraid to be totally responsible for this little human being.


If you have a * next to your username, please be in touch with your mailing address to get your prize book!

A Secret for a Secret: House of Secrets Twitter Giveaway Contest

UPDATE: the contest is open until Feb 1, 2013!

Gremlins & Goonies creator Chris Columbus and I have a new book coming April 23, 2013: House of Secrets.



I'm not one usually to use colored fonts (I figured it out here), but this is the start of a series -- plus it has a quote from "The Queen Herself":



Would you like to get a free copy of House of Secrets before it comes out?

Sorry. Now I'm going really nuts with the fonts. To get your copy:

Tweet a secret about yourself hashtagged #HouseOfSecrets

It doesn't have to be a crazy secret. It should not be anything that gets you into legal trouble. Just something a stranger wouldn't know. Example:



Show me the tweet
You can either put "@ned_vizzini" in the tweet, or you can bring it to my attention via my Facebook or website contact form, or in a comment below.

That's it! Once I see your tweet, I will contact you for your address & send you a free advance copy of the book!

Numbers are limited, because I have 14 (count 'em, 14) books to give away. They will ship in February.



G-g-go!

A Secret for a Secret: House of Secrets Twitter Giveaway

Gremlins & Goonies creator Chris Columbus and I have a new book coming April 23, 2013: House of Secrets.



I'm not one usually to use colored fonts (I figured it out here), but this is the start of a series -- plus it has a quote from "The Queen Herself":



Would you like to get a free copy of House of Secrets before it comes out?

Sorry. Now I'm going really nuts with the fonts. To get your copy:

Tweet a secret about yourself hashtagged #HouseOfSecrets

It doesn't have to be a crazy secret. It should not be anything that gets you into legal trouble. Just something a stranger wouldn't know. Example:



Show me the tweet
You can either put "@ned_vizzini" in the tweet, or you can bring it to my attention via my Facebook or website contact form, or in a comment below.

That's it! Once I see your tweet, I will contact you for your address & send you a free advance copy of the book!

Numbers are limited, because I have 14 (count 'em, 14) books to give away. They will ship in February.



G-g-go!

Post-Holiday Geek Gift Guide

Now that the holidays are over, get yourself what you want. I compiled the following list for a website that didn't get a chance to run it because of the Sandy Hook massacre.

Top Teen Geek Gifts for Actual Geeks


Star Wars Princess Leia Dog Costume. $13.14 at PartyBell.com.

Don't get this costume for dogs who are snooty. Like if the dog is only into the Original Unaltered Trilogy and hates the prequels even though she only saw Phantom Menace and those long-winded YouTube reviews with the droll narrator, she can wear a different costume. This is for dogs who are more open-minded and cool about the whole thing. But not if they're fat, because the XL sizes are sold out.


White Queen Legendary Scale Bust. $199.99 at sideshowtoy.com.

Sideshow Collectibles makes a number of “Legendary” busts over a foot tall. So that's why the White Queen is “Legendary.” No other reason. Limited edition of 1,250.

+5 Shirt of Protection T-Shirt. $18.00 at kaboodle.com.

When it comes to T-shirts, a real geek wants one that even he or she can't understand. I get what a “Shirt of Protection” is (the shirt is magical and protects its wearer) and I understand what “-3 vs. Cold” means (the shirt is less effective in cold weather)… I have no idea what “Masterwork” refers to.

Shark vs Narwhal 16x20. $40.00 at Etsy.

The nice thing about this print, by Jann VanZant of Long Beach, CA, is that once you give it to someone, they won't need anything else to decorate their house, unless they want a bunch of narwhal stuff, in which case Etsy has them covered. Professionally printed on “some bomb-ass paper that will last longer than a heavily armored immortal shark with a bazooka in a knife fight,” it also comes in an $80 24x36 “Leviathan freaking sized” version.

Final Fantasy for NES. $699.95 at Annie May.

When today's geeks were young, we bought comics, thinking that our parents would be rich if they hadn't thrown theirs out. What we should have bought was a sealed copy of every video game we owned—because unopened Nintendo games are worth a ton. Annie May, an Amazon affiliate, still has one factory-sealed copy of the greatest role-playing game of all time: Final Fantasy. To play it, you need a Nintendo—either one of the originals (factory-sealed? $5,000.00) or one of Retro-Bit's backwards-compatible systems ($24.99). But then you'd have to open it, and you wouldn't do that, would you?

Saga, Vol. 1. Signed by Brian K Vaughan & Fiona Staples. $69.99 at eBay.

Brian K. Vaughan has been well-served by development hell. Back in 2003, his sci-fi saga Y: The Last Man landed at New Line Cinema; five years later, Marvel talked up his Runaways as its post-Avengers franchise. One wonders if a big-screen adaptation of Vaughan's cerebral and emotional epics would have torpedoed the creation of more of them, like the latest, Saga, which may be his best. Unsigned versions are $9.99 on Amazon.

Daredevil Born Again Artist's Edition. $140 at Secret Headquarters.

In comics, there isn't much in the way of format wars: you have your single issues, your trade paperbacks, and your hardcover collections. So when Marvel and IDW teamed up to put out Artist's Editions—12” x 17” books containing the original art as drawn by the artist (comic art is shrunk for publication)—it was sort of like BluRay. The most sought-after Artist's Edition is Born Again, collecting Daredevil #237-233 by Frank Miller and David Mazzucchelli. This one is tough to get, but Secret Headquarters in Los Angeles has them; call (323) 666-2228.

I Love Bad Movies Issues 1-5 Discount Pack. $19.00 at Etsy.

I don't know why Matt Carman and Kseniya Yarosh call their acclaimed zine about low-culture film I Love Bad Movies. Barbarella, Boxing Helena, Demolition Man… these aren't even bad! But ILBM is the only place where such films get their due, in essays from impassioned comedians, writers and critics. Best of all, it's a zine instead of a blog, laid out with great care and perfect for any basket around the house.


James Jean Weyward Witches Drip Necklace. $900 at OVM.

James Jean is known for the dreamy, loopy covers he did for Bill Willingham's Fables—possibly the most beautiful comic-book covers ever—but since stepping away after the 10th trade, he's been everywhere. He has his own brand of mints; he exhibits at the Martha Otero Gallery in LA; now he has his own line of jewelry, OVM, of which this necklace is a highlight. If you're a geek with a woman in your life, don't mess around.


Original Movie Prop - Gremlins 2: The New Batch. $9,995.00 at Prop Store.

Gremlins 2 was welcomed into the film-geek canon earlier this year with a BluRay release—and the BluRay, which will run you around $17, is a fine substitute for this one-of-a-kind prop. But if you can afford Lenny the Mogwai, get him. Gremlins 2 not only embraced the humor of Scream and Family Guy a decade earlier, it failed to connect with the masses… just like we did, before we became the masses.

That's it. A fun little article to put together. Happy New Year everyone and more soon about my next book project, House of Secrets ...

Life Lessons from the One-Legged Dentist

After I moved to Hollywood and started working in TV, I got health insurance and dental through the Writers Guild -- but there were about two years where I didn't see a dentist at all, and one of my teeth hurt. So this past summer, my wife Sabra Embury, who was on a LivingSocial kick, found me a "special offer" for a dentist.

Now, LivingSocial calls what they do "special offers." But really they're coupons.



So yes, I went to a dentist with a coupon.


This dentist was in the middle of this giant mall complex in Commerce, CA called "Citadel Outlets". If you live in Southern California, you know Citadel because it's the outlet mall with the gigantic sphinxes that preside over the street:



You probably don't know that in the middle of this mall is a dentist: Citadel Dental. You probably do know that it isn't a great idea to go to a dentist in the middle of an outlet mall with a $35 coupon. The dentist at Citadel Dental, who bore a strong resemblance to Dominick Dunne --



-- told me that he had a great idea for a TV show about dentists, and also one about naval warfare in Alaska in WWII. I just nodded with instruments in my mouth while he fixed the cavity that was detected during the $35 cleaning. But something weird happened once my filling was over...

My tooth still hurt.

In fact, it hurt worse. So I went back to Citadel Dental (biking this time) --



-- and they said they did the filling wrong. Dominick Dunne replaced it for free. I rode home with a ton of Novocaine in my face trying to talk to my writing partner Nick Antosca while patting my lips to make sure they were still there. I nearly got hit by a few cars, but I made it home. Thing was...

My tooth still hurt.

So this time I decided to go to a different dentist. And I decided that a random dentist found through the Writers Guild website would be better than Dunne's Sphinx Castle Mall Practice.

I ended up at a place that I will call Life-Lesson Dental -- both because the dentist I saw was very into imparting life lessons, and because I learned a life lesson or two there. I'm protecting the identity of this place by not naming it.

I showed up at 10:30am and filled out one of those long sheets about my health history. Filling those things out always makes me feel lucky. I just check "no," "no," "no" on every box. I never mention the fact that I was hospitalized for suicidal ideation in 2004 and that I used to be on all sorts of medications for depression. Even though It's Kind of a Funny Story is a book and a movie and anyone can find out in 0.02 seconds on Google that I was hospitalized for mental health issues, I never put it on forms and people never check it.

So I handed in my blank form and went to the X-ray room to do X-rays. There were two dental assistants at Life-Lesson Dental, both older ladies, and they were constantly bickering at one another.

"Oh, so YOU'RE giving him the X-rays?"

"Yes, I TOLD you I'm doing this."

"But usually you clear it with ME."

"The doctor's not here, Melissa, could you let me work with this patient?!"

This is not the most reassuring thing to hear at the dentist. Besides, Life-Lesson Dental was shoddy. It needed to be re-grouted.

But I bit my tongue (literally, as the X-rays were being taken) and went into the actual dentist's room where I waited... and waited... and waited. After 45 minutes, the front door opened and I met Dr. Monteblan.

Dr. Monteblan was not his real name, but I think it does a good job of capturing his background -- we was a Mediterranean with an old-world accent who looked like Alfred Molina:



But there were two things about him that stood out most of all:

He had one leg
He had horrible shaking hands, as if he had delirium tremens

Now, the one-leg thing is one thing. Dr. Monteblan used a wheelchair (a very old-school wheelchair) and there's nothing wrong with that. There's no explicit reason why a dentist has to stand on two feet -- they spend most of their time bent over you anyway.

But the shaking hands was another story. If Dr. Monteblan tried to write a straight line on a chalkboard, it would come out as a seismograph.



Still, I was paying for this. I had to see it through. Maybe Dr. Monteblan was a great dentist.


Dr. Monteblan: "So, young man, what is the problem?"

Ned: "I have this tooth that hurts. I'm pretty sure it's this one, which was filled and re-filled by another dentist, but you can poke it with a stick and we'll confirm."

Dr. Monteblan: "'Poke with a stick?' 'Poke with a stick?!' We do not say, 'Poke with a stick.' We say 'Examine.' Obviously you have HATRED OF DENTIST!!"

it just got worse from there. Dr. Monteblan's bedside manner involved yelling at me. He would make me hold up a mirror to my own mouth to see what was going on and then harangue me:

"Please, hold the mirror -- HOLD THE MIRROR!"
"Do you see? You have many incipient cavities! Is incipient cavities everywhere, all over!"
"Open wide. SIR, please, wider! Come on!"
"Sir, you are grinding your teeth, bad. Yes? This is from psychological problem. You have psychological problem, I not know why, but at night you are grinding, grinding..."
"Melissa, I need new gloves! Come ON, are we professional here, or no?"

After about 30 minutes of this, Dr. Monteblan said he had an idea of what to do to fix my teeth, and he pulled out a drill. He was trying to put a bit on the drill (to "buff my filling down"), but his hands were shaking so much that he dropped it on the floor! That's when I stood up.


Ned: "Dr. Monteblan, I'm sorry, I don't want to do any actual work on my teeth today. I need to talk to my wife and I'll call you back."

Dr. Monteblan: "Oh? You will call us back? We have heard this before!"

Ned: "Okay, fine, I want a second opinion, then."

Dr. Monteblan: "A second opinion?... A second opinion? Why don't you GO! You can go to university! Have team of dentists look at you! Get a second opinion, a third opinion, a fifth opinion! You know, you have major psychological problems with the dentist. You are so worried -- it's just your teeth. It's not like you have cancer! It's not like you LOST A LEG!!"

At that point Dr. Monteblan shook his stump at me, and I high-tailed it out of his office.

The funny thing was, I was in a terrible mood when I went to the dentist (I was depressed about something stupid that I won't get into), but when I left, I felt great. I didn't know that episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm could just drop into your life. I felt alive, free. I had escaped with my life!

I told this story to Ken Baumann, and he told me to check in with his friend who goes to one of the best dentists in LA, the one who does Zach Galifianakis' teeth.

I asked. That dentist doesn't take insurance.

The First Thing I Ever Wrote -- A Comic-Con Adventure

I usually tell people that my first piece of writing was the essay "Horrible Mention" which appears in Teen Angst? Naaah... :



I wrote "Horrible Mention" when I was 15; it was printed in New York Press in May 1996. I remember the moment I saw it. I was in a pizza place by Stuyvesant High School and I looked at my name in print and had an out-of-body experience. I felt a whirlwind of pride and fear and shame: pride that I had done something, fear that I would never do it again, and shame that I didn't deserve it.

Now, when people ask, "What is it like to publish a book?" or "What was it like to have your book become a movie?" I tell them that the real thrills all happened in 1996, in that pizza place.

But that's not entirely true.

Because there was a precursor to "Horrible Mention."

There was my letter in Marc Spector: Moon Knight #36:


March, 1992


Moon Knight isn't like other Marvel heroes. Other heroes talk all the time. Moon Knight spends most of his time thinking in abstract riddles, with quotes from Lord Byron and Tennyson thrown in, and when he does talk, it's to say important things like: "I'm. On. Fire!!"



His avant-garde proclivities are best serviced by the "Scarlet Redemption" storyline, a which ran in Marc Spector: Moon Knight #26-31 in 1991, and which I think beats Watchmen for sheer compositional chutzpah:



Plus, you can't top the covers.



And... it was sexy!




So I felt compelled as an 11-year-old to write a letter to Moon Knight. They published it! Somehow, in ensuing years, I forgot what it was like to read that letter and see my name in print. Maybe I didn't think about it because it was a simpler sort of accomplishment. Writing letters to the editor doesn't involve fear or shame -- just joy.

So after talking about this Moon Knight letter at the House of Secrets launch talk I did with Chris Columbus --



-- I decided to try to track it down.

* * *

It's not easy to find issues of Moon Knight from the early 90s. That was the Glut Age of comics, when we all bought five editions of the same issue with collectible covers and stored them in plastic cases, so they never appreciated in value. The Moon Knights I paid $1.50 for in 1991 were worth $1.00 at NY Comic Con 2012.

I finally found a booth that had "Scarlet Redemption" and started going through the issues. I would look at the letters page of each comic; when I didn't see my name, I bought it anyway. The arc really held up and each issue was so cheap. But where was my letter?

It wasn't in issue #32, #33, or #34. It wasn't in #35. "Scarlet Redemption" was what my letter was about, so if it didn't appear during or after that storyline, maybe it never existed at all. Maybe I just dreamed it, like a few other childhood accomplishments I wanted to claim.

What's worse, Comic Con was closing!

"You have five minutes before you must leave the building. Five minutes to leave the building."

I opened Moon Knight #36 in mad-squirrel desperation -- and there it was:



I ran up to the guy who owned the booth. I showed him my name on the letter and then I showed him my book:



"See? I write books now, but this letter was the first thing I ever wrote!"

He smiled at me.

"You keep that, buddy. That one's yours. On the house."