M. Limoges

“[...]I am a romance slut, and there's nothing I can do about it. If a guy does or says something romantic, I'm all "Oh, please excuse me, kind sir, let me dial down my IQ and oh, if it would please sir, may I offer you this moist, yet helpless va-jay-jay that seems to have lost its way."
-The Chronicles of Abby Normal”
― Christopher Moore, Bite Me

“Do you mind if I ask you a question, darlin'?"

"Only if you stop calling me darlin'"

"Now where I come from that's a term of endearment."

"Really? Well, where I come from motherfucker is a term of endearment. Want me to start calling you that?”
― Shelly Laurenston

“I'd rather have rabies than be in love."
"Why?"
"Because at least you can get over rabies with some shots.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“Gwen hates me,” she reminded him.

“Don’t be narcissistic. She hates everyone.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Big Bad Beast