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Bending the Binary: Polarity Magic in a Nonbinary World
A Groundbreaking New Perspective on Polarity Magic Break polarity free from outmoded ideas of gender and heteronormativity while still celebrating its energy. This pioneering book explores polarity from many angles, examining its evolution throughout history, why it's important in the occult, and how it relates to identity and sexual orientation. Deborah Lipp shows you what it means to both include polarity magic and be inclusive. Bending the Binary adds depth and nuance to polar concepts in magic, such as day and night, male and female, self and other. Deborah offers a third perspective on these opposites, inviting you to explore the space between them through rituals, journal prompts, and detailed research. She also teaches how to incorporate binary-bending practices into your personal magical system. This book encourages everyone to expand their perceptions and strengthen their magic.
288 pages, Paperback
Published February 8, 2023
21 people are currently reading
167 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
June 14, 2023
DNFed in dismay at 44%.
I'm not sure what I expected, but this was dry, dense, and more cerebral-theoretical? I guess I was hoping for a less academic, more ground-level analysis of gender spectrum and representation among practitioners and covens; more absorbable language would've helped too.
I never use sex magick in my practice, and as a solo, green practitioner who mainly works with spell bottles, I simply had no use for a lot in here. As the author noted, gender polarity simply doesn't make sense for nonbinary practitioners, and that's true for me. I think the dull narrator didn't help at all. Libby's edition of the audiobook didn't label chapters or sections, either, so I couldn't easily skip to a section that might be of more interest or use. Meh.
I can see how this may be of use to others, though! Three stars.
I'm not sure what I expected, but this was dry, dense, and more cerebral-theoretical? I guess I was hoping for a less academic, more ground-level analysis of gender spectrum and representation among practitioners and covens; more absorbable language would've helped too.
I never use sex magick in my practice, and as a solo, green practitioner who mainly works with spell bottles, I simply had no use for a lot in here. As the author noted, gender polarity simply doesn't make sense for nonbinary practitioners, and that's true for me. I think the dull narrator didn't help at all. Libby's edition of the audiobook didn't label chapters or sections, either, so I couldn't easily skip to a section that might be of more interest or use. Meh.
I can see how this may be of use to others, though! Three stars.
February 17, 2023
It makes me really happy to see more and more nonbinary, queer witchy books out there. This one was particularly interesting to me since the author came up in a very gendered, heteronormative Wiccan tradition. She is herself a queer woman, and the book is the result of her unlearning a lot of the gender essentialism her training instilled in her. But as she says herself, she doesn't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater--the core idea of generating magical energy through opposing forces is worth exploring and retaining, so long as you detangle it from the cissexist and heteronormative window dressings it's been attached to.
There's a lot to love in Lipp's book--it's well-researched, thoughtful, and written in a down-to-earth tone of voice. It's given me a lot to think about in my own practice as a nonbinary and asexual witch. Gender polarity isn't a type of magical energy I've ever dipped my toe into (nor do I expect to, if I'm honest). But Lipp offers a variety of other polarities that I could work with, including self/other, force/form, and night/day, to name a few.
My only caveat for Bending the Binary is that it can be a bit overwhelming at points. Lipp is clearly an experienced Priestess and Wiccan author, and that background gives her a lot of insight to share. But for someone who hasn't intersected with many more traditional or established covens or Wiccan schools of thought, there were moments where I found myself experiencing a touch of imposter's syndrome. I can imagine a solitary practitioner looking at Lipp's suggested rituals (most of which require at least two people and sometimes more) and feeling disheartened at how little material they found there. That said, the core ideas about how to leverage polarity magic in a variety of ways (gendered and non-gendered) could certainly be lifted and incorporated into a solitary practice. But if you're solo and looking for plug-and-play rituals, this probably isn't the book for you.
All in all, though, I'm delighted to have this book on my shelf! Lipp's writing is very inspiring for an LGBTQ+ witch. If you're in the queer community and want to deepen your understanding of magical theory in a queer-friendly way, OR if you're an authority figure in a coven or magical group looking to make your space more inclusive, I'd definitely recommend picking up Bending the Binary.
Thanks to Llewelyn for the ARC!
There's a lot to love in Lipp's book--it's well-researched, thoughtful, and written in a down-to-earth tone of voice. It's given me a lot to think about in my own practice as a nonbinary and asexual witch. Gender polarity isn't a type of magical energy I've ever dipped my toe into (nor do I expect to, if I'm honest). But Lipp offers a variety of other polarities that I could work with, including self/other, force/form, and night/day, to name a few.
My only caveat for Bending the Binary is that it can be a bit overwhelming at points. Lipp is clearly an experienced Priestess and Wiccan author, and that background gives her a lot of insight to share. But for someone who hasn't intersected with many more traditional or established covens or Wiccan schools of thought, there were moments where I found myself experiencing a touch of imposter's syndrome. I can imagine a solitary practitioner looking at Lipp's suggested rituals (most of which require at least two people and sometimes more) and feeling disheartened at how little material they found there. That said, the core ideas about how to leverage polarity magic in a variety of ways (gendered and non-gendered) could certainly be lifted and incorporated into a solitary practice. But if you're solo and looking for plug-and-play rituals, this probably isn't the book for you.
All in all, though, I'm delighted to have this book on my shelf! Lipp's writing is very inspiring for an LGBTQ+ witch. If you're in the queer community and want to deepen your understanding of magical theory in a queer-friendly way, OR if you're an authority figure in a coven or magical group looking to make your space more inclusive, I'd definitely recommend picking up Bending the Binary.
Thanks to Llewelyn for the ARC!
March 7, 2023
Deborah Lipp is one of my favorite pagan author and always found her books thought provoking and useful.
This one was very interesting and I learned a lot and found a lot of food for thought.
Well written and useful.
Highly recommended.
Many thanks to the publisher for this arc, all opinions are mine
This one was very interesting and I learned a lot and found a lot of food for thought.
Well written and useful.
Highly recommended.
Many thanks to the publisher for this arc, all opinions are mine
December 6, 2022
tl;dr This book makes you think about polarity and how to fit it into your practice with the general framework most people share today. It would be good if it became a shared classic drawing down the Goddess a new baseline for future work. Well done Deborah!
Things I struggled with while reading:
* The first section is too short and shallow to be of real use but may be useful for some readers. Contrasting this with the second section (where case studies of binaries are provided), it feels not quite there yet. In particular I'm thinking of the oft-cited example of yin-yang 陰陽 but the introduction of this particular idea into the European society of the 1700s (let's say Leibniz) which then probably trickled down into the beloved mystical example we now love today is something that's completely left out. This is a gap in the general occult knowledge that urgently needs to be filled, but perhaps not in this book.
* The selected binaries are generally good and inclusive (e.g., self vs. other, dominance vs. submission) as they can be prompts for further meditation on them. Despite this, I am gonna go full-on lexical semanticist here and say that choosing particular antonymic pairs without considering if there are other ones available for some terms is cherrypicking and like those sugary cherries they put in cocktails this should be avoided. Consider the provided Death vs. Rebirth (p. 233) but what about Death vs. Life or Death vs. Birth, those clearly are also in polar opposition.
* Some things fundamentally are not binary polarities and Lipp does mention this in relation to the four elements. I was hoping that non-binary (in the sense of more than 2 poles) polarities would also get more attention. That would have really made this an even better book. As it stands, it really is Bending the binary throughout most of it, while I think the book wanted to be Playing with polarities. Or at least that's what I was hoping for.
Things I particularly loved:
* The book reads quite personal and down-to-earth. That is good.
* The polarised Tree of Life at the end was a neat finding and its inclusion in the book is something I will definitely take from this to sit with and climb on, I guess lol.
* The what's next section has some really good tutorials that follow Lipps' earlier work and are hence very clear and instructive.
* The focus on the liminal space / the union that is created from two polarities. This is somewhat of a philosophical trick (similar, though perhaps not entirely equal to, thesis-antithesis-synthesis) but it is a very useful one.
All in all a thought-provoking book. I should probably mention that I got an advanced copy through NetGalley and I don't regret doing so.
Things I struggled with while reading:
* The first section is too short and shallow to be of real use but may be useful for some readers. Contrasting this with the second section (where case studies of binaries are provided), it feels not quite there yet. In particular I'm thinking of the oft-cited example of yin-yang 陰陽 but the introduction of this particular idea into the European society of the 1700s (let's say Leibniz) which then probably trickled down into the beloved mystical example we now love today is something that's completely left out. This is a gap in the general occult knowledge that urgently needs to be filled, but perhaps not in this book.
* The selected binaries are generally good and inclusive (e.g., self vs. other, dominance vs. submission) as they can be prompts for further meditation on them. Despite this, I am gonna go full-on lexical semanticist here and say that choosing particular antonymic pairs without considering if there are other ones available for some terms is cherrypicking and like those sugary cherries they put in cocktails this should be avoided. Consider the provided Death vs. Rebirth (p. 233) but what about Death vs. Life or Death vs. Birth, those clearly are also in polar opposition.
* Some things fundamentally are not binary polarities and Lipp does mention this in relation to the four elements. I was hoping that non-binary (in the sense of more than 2 poles) polarities would also get more attention. That would have really made this an even better book. As it stands, it really is Bending the binary throughout most of it, while I think the book wanted to be Playing with polarities. Or at least that's what I was hoping for.
Things I particularly loved:
* The book reads quite personal and down-to-earth. That is good.
* The polarised Tree of Life at the end was a neat finding and its inclusion in the book is something I will definitely take from this to sit with and climb on, I guess lol.
* The what's next section has some really good tutorials that follow Lipps' earlier work and are hence very clear and instructive.
* The focus on the liminal space / the union that is created from two polarities. This is somewhat of a philosophical trick (similar, though perhaps not entirely equal to, thesis-antithesis-synthesis) but it is a very useful one.
All in all a thought-provoking book. I should probably mention that I got an advanced copy through NetGalley and I don't regret doing so.
dnf
March 22, 2023I found it confusing, frustrating, and repetitive, especially with the author briefly mentioning subjects or ideas and saying right away "we'll get into to that later". I lost count of how many times this happened. Also, I found the section about polarity vs dualism the most problematic since I couldn't follow what she was saying, had to ask a friend, look on the internet, and even though I have a better idea now of what she might be explaining, her section alone is not enough for me. Again, very confusing. Decided to give up after reading half of the book
October 22, 2023
First and foremost the reader needs to know before going in that this is a book discussing the way that the standard binary polarity as heavily used in paths like those in Gardenarian Wicca can be modified to better suit one's identity and become more open for members of your group who may not be comfortable with these models. I feel like the majority of the audience who will benefit from reading and working with this book are those who began and became established within the polarity centered paths of paganism and are now seeking ways to expand their understanding of how these polarities work beyond societal views and paradigms of gender they now find limiting in the old contexts. Gender, sexuality, personal identity, spiritual truth and the nature of connection all come up here and get a discussion that seeks to help broaden the limits of past ritual and religious structures and allow solitary, couple centered, and group practitioners to experiment with their understanding and reform them to better suit the needs of those involved. It may or may not be useful to those whose path is more eclectic, less heavily grounded in ritual magic, or other paths that are more herbal and intuitive centered than energetic but it truly does ask the reader to consider the way they view personal connections with many identities which may not actually suit those your intuition senses to be in alignment with your own needs and seek what is.
August 27, 2024
Gods damn this was so so very dry. It was a genuine struggle bus trying to get through pages 60 onward.
A few issues I had,
Suggest rituals but basically says you need others to do them, yes in a book about rejecting the historical idea of polarity.
Doesn't actually touch on how to grow in the craft space as someone outside the polarity binary just the reasons why it exists in the first place, so maybe it's not such a bad thing huh? No
It is such a good academic resource for the history of referenced polarity in more ancient cultures but my God does it give you literally over a hundred pages on polarity in history but pretty much nothing on people outside that polarity.
Makes clear they do love the polarity idea just that they think it should be more inclusive and it's a noble goal but like the many people before them they slate they acknowledge trans people and that yes a transwomen is just a women, spiritually as well but for those outside the binary? We exist but where you fit in in the whole ideal?..... ehhhhhh moving on
It jumps around so so much and honestly reads like an unedited academic text than a fully published book on the subject because I can fully say it does not cover polarity magic as a nonbimary practitioner - which is why I suppose it's called in a nonbinary world, we exist and deserve respect and acknowledgement but doesn't say much on actual aid
A few issues I had,
Suggest rituals but basically says you need others to do them, yes in a book about rejecting the historical idea of polarity.
Doesn't actually touch on how to grow in the craft space as someone outside the polarity binary just the reasons why it exists in the first place, so maybe it's not such a bad thing huh? No
It is such a good academic resource for the history of referenced polarity in more ancient cultures but my God does it give you literally over a hundred pages on polarity in history but pretty much nothing on people outside that polarity.
Makes clear they do love the polarity idea just that they think it should be more inclusive and it's a noble goal but like the many people before them they slate they acknowledge trans people and that yes a transwomen is just a women, spiritually as well but for those outside the binary? We exist but where you fit in in the whole ideal?..... ehhhhhh moving on
It jumps around so so much and honestly reads like an unedited academic text than a fully published book on the subject because I can fully say it does not cover polarity magic as a nonbimary practitioner - which is why I suppose it's called in a nonbinary world, we exist and deserve respect and acknowledgement but doesn't say much on actual aid
October 1, 2024
I had high hopes for Bending the Binary, especially after hearing so much about Deborah Lipp’s approach to polarity magic. Sadly, it fell short in more ways than one. Instead of breaking free from outdated gender norms and embracing a truly inclusive perspective, the book felt stuck trying to fit everyone into a binary mold. It’s like going to a party expecting a vibrant mix of people and ending up with just two types—super boring and not what I signed up for!
The title promised a groundbreaking look at polarity magic in a nonbinary world, but what I got was more of a forced attempt to align everything into male and female categories. It’s frustrating when a book claims to be progressive but ends up reinforcing the very binaries it aims to dismantle. The rituals and journal prompts felt rigid and didn’t leave much room for personal interpretation or flexibility, which is a big miss for anyone looking to explore magic beyond traditional confines.
Deborah’s explanations were thorough, but not in a good way. They seemed out of touch with the current conversations around gender and identity, making the book feel more like a relic from last century convincing itself that it isn’t rather than a fresh take for today’s diverse magical or queer community. Instead of offering new perspectives, it felt like rehashing old ideas without truly evolving them.
The title promised a groundbreaking look at polarity magic in a nonbinary world, but what I got was more of a forced attempt to align everything into male and female categories. It’s frustrating when a book claims to be progressive but ends up reinforcing the very binaries it aims to dismantle. The rituals and journal prompts felt rigid and didn’t leave much room for personal interpretation or flexibility, which is a big miss for anyone looking to explore magic beyond traditional confines.
Deborah’s explanations were thorough, but not in a good way. They seemed out of touch with the current conversations around gender and identity, making the book feel more like a relic from last century convincing itself that it isn’t rather than a fresh take for today’s diverse magical or queer community. Instead of offering new perspectives, it felt like rehashing old ideas without truly evolving them.
January 11, 2025
Deborah Lipp’s Bending the Binary tackles an important and timely topic: how to reconcile traditional magical frameworks rooted in polarity and binary structures with a world increasingly embracing nonbinary and fluid identities. As a Gardnerian Wiccan, Lipp is uniquely positioned to discuss this subject, especially given the emphasis on polarity in Wiccan traditions. However, the book relies on flawed assumptions and frequently conflates metaphor with reality, resulting in a challenging and uneven read.
To clarify, this book does not advocate for rejecting polarity outright. Instead, Lipp emphasises that polarity is optional, but she finds the binary-polarity framework powerful and magically enhancing. Bending the Binary focuses on accepting these frameworks and exploring how to approach them differently. For this, Lipp presents practical, creative, and engaging ideas, particularly in the second section of the book, which is its strongest and most compelling part.
This book is best suited for experienced practitioners with an understanding of polarity and binary frameworks who are seeking ways to reinterpret these concepts in their practice. However, for those looking to move entirely beyond binary frameworks, Bending the Binary may not provide the answers they seek. Nonetheless, it opens an important and much-needed conversation for modern magical practices.
To clarify, this book does not advocate for rejecting polarity outright. Instead, Lipp emphasises that polarity is optional, but she finds the binary-polarity framework powerful and magically enhancing. Bending the Binary focuses on accepting these frameworks and exploring how to approach them differently. For this, Lipp presents practical, creative, and engaging ideas, particularly in the second section of the book, which is its strongest and most compelling part.
This book is best suited for experienced practitioners with an understanding of polarity and binary frameworks who are seeking ways to reinterpret these concepts in their practice. However, for those looking to move entirely beyond binary frameworks, Bending the Binary may not provide the answers they seek. Nonetheless, it opens an important and much-needed conversation for modern magical practices.
July 31, 2023
I was really hoping for more from this book. It just wasn’t what I was hoping it would be. I went into this hoping it would help give options to bend or remove the gender (and let’s be honest—sex) that’s so prevalent in the Craft. Welp, that isn’t this book! It goes into a lot of detail and often felt like we were going in circles. Yes gender, no gender, yes polarity, no polarity. There’s a decent amount of information for the LGBTQI+ community. If you’re the A in the list… well… as one myself I was more often than finding myself left out. Oh sure, we get a paragraph here and there to acknowledge our existence—and then followed immediately with the completely opposite and reverts back to the original premise—sex and polarity. The other obnoxious point of this book is the use of “p-word” to represent a variety of religious beliefs. Seriously? You couldn’t find a better filler word? That alone was a tempting DNF to be honest. I think some people will like this, definitely would be within the LGBTQI+ community who are wanting to explore different polarities, but that’s about it.
August 4, 2023
So this book had some ups & downs & is a bit long. I thought it was pretty philosophical at times which I wasn't a fan of. Being able to have the author actually explain polarity w/in paganism is really important since it's not something you generally think about. I know I never did so it made me think about how we go through alot of god/dess & as a society things being male/female is pretty common. So being able to learn about how since people are binary—tarot cards, deities can also be. How you practice is pretty personal & who you worship is also so you have to do what works for you. This book really makes you think about that though which I think is important to get out of societal norms although this may not work for everyone. There is a whole sex portion of this book that may or may not be up your alley but also thought-provoking. Being able to determine what changes you make or how you see your practice may be overwhelming but you can also start small. So work your magic in a way that you can feel it works for you.
September 19, 2024
In this book Lipp dives deep into polarity magic. She analyzes it's history from the ancient world through alchemy, the Golden Dawn, and Wicca to the present day. She examines polarity magic in fine detail, separating gender from polarity, as it has been conflated for at least 100 years. Once gender has been separated from polarity, other polarities can be described and she discussed several with ritual examples for each.
I would say this is a fairly advanced read for folks who are already fairly experienced with the practice of magic ritual whether as a solo practitioner or in a group.
I found her study compelling and I think I see polarity with new eyes.
I would say this is a fairly advanced read for folks who are already fairly experienced with the practice of magic ritual whether as a solo practitioner or in a group.
I found her study compelling and I think I see polarity with new eyes.
June 17, 2024
I read this for a book group and over half of the group weren't able to get through it because of how dry and technically it was written. I definitely felt like it made the topic of polarity magic feel more complicated and esoteric, not less. Personally, I think the only reason I was able to get through it fully was because I listened to it on audio. And, I listened to it at 1.5x speed so I'm sure I glossed over some parts of it. The only polarity that I found interesting was the day/night polarity. The rest of the book I was genuinely just pushing through for book club.
November 5, 2023
As a nonbinary person, I found this book to be incredibly empowering, for both my spirituality and my queer identity. Lipp's writing is accessible for a person at any point in the personal and mystical journey. Highly recommend.
June 27, 2024
Super interesting and informative, but also super dry. It read a bit like a literature review in places, but it did successfully challenge the way that I look at certain aspects of my practice.
Overall a valuable book
Overall a valuable book
March 5, 2024
This book ca.e at the perfect time in my life. I needed to hear its messages when I was doubting my path, and Lipp's reassurances and inclusion recentered me.
February 1, 2025
I liked this book and though it had some interesting information and concepts.
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