We are taught that actions have predictable reactions—but what do we do when those expectations fail us and life doesn’t make sense? We may ask questions like, “Why this? Why now?” and “What have I done to deserve this?” By exploring lessons from the scriptures and modern-day experiences, including the story of Job and the aftermath of the 2020 pandemic, this book examines what theologians call the “law of retribution” and how it has affected our thinking. It will show how Jesus added valuable insight into the different types of adversity that come with living in this fallen world. It will also look at contemporary issues such as modified missions, health trials, and the challenges of Church membership. With hope for the future and the assurance that there will be answers eventually, When It Doesn’t Make Sense will help you feel peace while you wait for your own “eventually.”
John Bytheway (born October 1962) is an American author and academic, who is well known as a comic motivational speaker for youth within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Born in Salt Lake City, Bytheway attended the University of Utah and Brigham Young University (BYU) in Provo, Utah, receiving a Master's Degree in Religious Education. He also served as a missionary for the LDS Church in the Philippines.
Bytheway is a religious studies instructor at BYU, currently focusing on the Book of Mormon. He also serves on the Aaronic Priesthood/Young Women Writing Committee for the LDS Church. Bytheway and his wife Kimberly have six children.
I loved this book! I marked it up. It was just what I needed. It is full of so much good! Here’s a few quotes that resonated with me.
Life is not always fair. Not all questions have answers. BUT “ it will all work out, and in that place, in the presence of our loving, Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ, it will all make sense.” -John Bytheway
“We have Saturdays too—those days when we are waiting, and waiting, and waiting for some explanation, some resolution to our problem. … Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come. “ Ensign, November 2011”
Gordon B Hinckley “ It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don't worry. I say that to myself every morn-ing. It will all work out. If you do your best, it will all work out. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future.”
Elder Dale G. Renlund assured: In unfair situations, one of our tasks is to trust that "all that is unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ."
President Ezra Taft Benson, “Nothing is going to startle us more when we pass through the veil to the other side than to realize how well we know our Father and how familiar His face is to us. God loves us. He is watching us. He wants us to succeed. We will know some day that He has not left one thing undone for the eternal welfare of each of us. If we only knew it, heavenly hosts are pulling for us— friends in heaven that we cannot now remember who yearn for our victory. This is our day to show what we can do-what life and sacrifice we can daily, hourly, instantly make for God. If we give our all, we will get His all from the greatest of all. ("Jesus Christ-Gifts and Ex-pectations," Ensign, December 1988)
John Bytheway is one of my favorite religious authors and podcasters. He is also a religion professor at Brigham Young University. In his latest book. When it Doesn't Make Sense, Bytheway talks about how to make sense of what doesn't make sense, or at least hold on with faith. God has not given us all the answers to everything. Some things we just simply will not have answers to until we get to heaven, but that doesn't mean we have to throw away all the good, all the miracles, all that the word of God teaches us. We can hold on with faith and give the hard things to God. We don't have to throw our faith away just because we cannot see the entire picture of God's plan perfectly. I listened to the audio of the book on Deseret Bookshelf Plus.
I would highly recommend this book (and/or also Michael Wilcox’s excellent Holding On) for any Church member struggling with questions—whatever those questions may be. The Church’s position/history on such topics as gay marriage, black members and the priesthood, women and the priesthood, differing accounts of the First Vision, polygamy, etc. are all addressed in context of a larger understanding of the gospel and Plan of Salvation as a whole. I found that the chapters “God Is Not a God of Explanations,” “The Doctrine of Retribution,” and “Things Will Work Out … Eventually” were particularly insightful.
Holding On by S. Michael Wilcox is a better book on the same subject.
I use ratings to decide which books I am going to buy, and I recently decided I am partially responsible for inflating the ratings on books. Either they were 5 star or 1 star. I decided to use the star rating more objectively as follows:
★★★★★ Great book! Can’t wait to read it again (and I will). ★★★★☆ Good book. I am glad I read this. ★★★☆☆ OK book. Nothing special but not bad. ★★☆☆☆ Not good. Why did I waste my time? ★☆☆☆☆ Lousy. I didn’t finish.
John Bytheway is brilliant in the way he can lay out important concepts so they are clear, easy to understand, and entertaining enough to engage the reader. This is another example of such stellar work. Great book!! Highly recommend.
I’ve always enjoyed John Bytheway and this is one of his best. Extremely relevant and chock full of great quotes and scriptures. Honestly a great read for every Church member.
John Bytheway just has . . . a way! This is such a good book. A paradigm changer, I'm sure, for many people. It puts out trials into perspective. He describes the gospel and the Lord's plan in such a clear and distinct way, that it helps the reader understand that plan better - with more patience, with more insight, with more hope.
Some of my favorite quotes:
Chapter 1: "We all seem to be born with a sense a justice, as sense of fairness and an expectation that things should make sense. In our childhood Math class we learn that 2+2=4. Every single time. No exceptions. In Algebra we learn that you can do anything to one side of the equation as long as you do the same thing on the other side. It makes perfect sense, and the rules of Math work, every single time. As we grow older we learn that life is not Math class. It's more like, well, Humanities. Sometimes it means this, and other times it doesn't. It's all subjective. Or it's in the eyes of the beholder - This is art, and this isn't. This is abstract and this is impressionist. Still, we often believe that life should be more like Math class, which causes us to look Heavenward and exclaim, "Why is this happening?" or "What did I do to deserve this?" or "Why did the Church make this change?" or "This doesn't make sense!" "
Chapter 2: Hindsight, Insight and Foresight. These three sights enable us to move forward not just look backward. Focusing on just hindsight alone keeps us stuck in the past, unless we learn the lessons and move forward....Hindsight is only useful when it can provide insight and foresight for future choices.
Chapter 4 (talking about people who say someone must have sinned or their parents, that God would "punish" them with such-and-such trial): "Jesus seems to be warning against drawing Doctrine of Retribution conclusions to make sense of both Roman cruelty and random natural disasters described in Luke 13:1-5: 1 There were present at that season some that told him of the Galilæans, whose blood Pilate had mingled with their sacrifices. 2 And Jesus answering said unto them, Suppose ye that these Galilæans were sinners above all the Galilæans, because they suffered such things? 3 I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish. 4 Or those eighteen, upon whom the tower in Siloam fell, and slew them, think ye that they were sinners above all men that dwelt in Jerusalem? 5 I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish. "No," Jesus appears to be saying, "they were not sinners above all men. The Doctrine of Retribution does not apply here. Sometimes bad things happen that are not the result of the Doctrine of Retribution, they're just part of life; therefore we must be careful how we judge and how we assume regarding Retribution."
Chapter 5: "A mother told me a story about the disappointing behavior of a man after he had been called as a Priesthood leader. 'How, she asked, can I explain to my children that callings in this Church are inspired and at the same time explain the behavior of this man?' The author continued, 'Well I share her concern over what took place. Her question infers that if a leader makes a mistake, then his calling was not inspired. Perhaps a better question would be, should my faith rest in the infallibility of Priesthood leaders, or in the assurance that if I keep my covenants the Spirit of the Lord will always be my companion?' Often what stands between us and answers to our prayers is our failure to ask the right questions. Thus the role of the Holy Ghost is as important in determining what we pray about, as it is in giving us the answers we seek."
Chapter 7: "Priesthood Keys are a different matter. Why don't women then hold Priesthood Keys? I don't know. It's not my call. But it's a legitimate question, a fair question, and worthy of discussion. So often in life we get stuck in asking questions, but not all the right ones. This is not the only question to ask. There are a lot more. For example, Why didn't anyone have the Priesthood from about A.D. 100 until 1829, except for John the Beloved and the Three Nephites, I suppose. How fair was that? No one had the chance to be baptized? No one had the opportunity to receive the comforting Gift of the Holy Ghost? No one had the chance to go to the Temple for 17 Centuries? Here's another question: Why did only the Tribe of Levi have the Priesthood during earlier times? Were the Tribes of Asher, Dan, or Naphtali out demanding that they have it too? And here's another one: Why don't women need the Priesthood in order to attend the Temple? President James E. Faust taught: "In His infinite wisdom the Lord requires worthy brethren to wear the mantel of the Priesthood in order to enter the Temple, but He permits the sisters to enter solely by virtue of their personal worthiness." So why do men have to take upon themselves the obligations of the Priesthood before they can attend the Temple and why is it different for women? I have a ton of questions. But also have covenants, and my questions can't erase my covenants."
Chapter 9: "British novelist, L. P. Hartley, began one of his books with this insightful opening line: 'The past is a foreign country. They do things differently there.' This charitable approach toward history has helped me restrain my judgment as I study the stories of the New Testament, the Book of Mormon, Church History, and my own Family History. If we view the past through the lenses of the 21st Century we may smugly wonder what those strange people were doing and why they couldn't see things as we do. We will most certainly see things that don't make sense. In 200 more years my posterity will no doubt scratch their heads at some of the things I have done and written."
This book is short and quick and easy to read - but make note: be ready to jot down some good quotes if you're the kind that likes to keep good quotes that inspire you!
This book helped inspire me to renew my commitment to not judge too quickly, to be kind to the past, to not view everything from today's paradigm and to remember the Lord keeps all of it - the past, the present and future - before Him in one grand "visual", and He has insights and knowledge we don't have. There is great reason to trust in Him before we trust in ourselves!
John Bytheway is so good and he is nostalgic for me. Listening to him takes me back to my teen years of listening to his books on cassette as I drove farm equipment. I absolutely enjoy his perspective and think this is a wonderful resource for those with questions about faith, especially for those who are teenagers and young adults. I have seen some reviews comparing this book to Hold On by Michael Wilcox and I would say that they are both well done and inspiring books suited for different audiences.
Simple yet profound, this is one of my favorite books by John Bytheway. The subject being how to hold on to our testimonies and faith even when life doesn't go according to plan (does it for anyone?) and when we might be filled with questions that we don't have the answers to right now. I loved his focus and insights and plan on reading this one again. I definitely felt my faith and love for my Savior strengthened.
I love the way John manages to help you understand things without talking down to you and making you feel like an idiot. Lots of things don't make sense--trials and tribulations and miracles. I can't wait for Keith to finish it so I can read it again.
This was probably one of my favorite books from this author. I will reread this one to study it more. I really thought it was great and a subject people need to understand more to solidify their testimony
This book has brought me closer to my Saviour than any other book has recently (not counting the holy scriptures). I love John Bytheway's exploration of how life and the gospel are so worth living, even when things don't add up, seem fair or make sense all the time.
Again, all the 4 and 5 star ratings appear to be from people who aren't questioning on a "I don't think I believe this anymore" level, just readers who read it because they are fans of the author.
While this felt marketed to people questioning their faith and membership in the church, I felt it was written more to those struggling with the 'senselessness' of so much of life, not necessarily thinking about leaving the church over it. It was more a comforting, encouraging, strengthening address to those suffering.
As with most 'instruction' of this type, Bytheway is assuming that you have a belief in GOD - the LDS version of God - and in the gospel and just need some reminding of things. He actually starts with a Holland quote: "Without our religious faith..." That's fine for this book. I did find it well-written and comforting and encouraging. Especially after I realized its scope and that it wasn't really helping the reader balance their questions with their faith.
That said, the overall message, to me, was to have faith in God and the Plan. And I think that Bytheway overall achieves his goal in that message.
After spending over 6 decades on this earth so far, I have learned that some times, things don't make sense and that formulas don't always add up --- If I do A and B, then C will result. To make it frustrating, sometimes it does add up in some people's lives. But there are many variables and godly designs we are not even close to beginning to understand with our finite mind. Life is not always fair. Not all questions have answers. This is where faith enters in. It is not a satisfying answer for many, but it is often the only answer. John Bytheway came to speak to our youth over 20 years ago when he was still single. He is still just as good a speaker as he was then. With humor and insight, he inspires to keep trying and trusting in the Lord. This is the kind of book where I wanted to highlight many passages. Alas, it was a library book!
John Bytheway is my favorite author of all time! I love the stuff he writes and how real and candid his writing is. This book examines the challenges we face when things don't make sense. There are never many things answered in this book, but more so ways of handeling doubts when it doesn't make sense. One main point that is talked about throughout the whole book is waiting for your "eventually." I found myself constantly writing down quotes from this book and telling my friends and family about it. Bytheway is extremely good at acknowledging the doubts that we as church members may have, and how to move forward with faith. This book made me want to pick up more by John Bytheway and I have continued to read his stuff. This book is a huge faith builder and will help you face doubts. I absolutley recommend!
In this short book, author John Bytheway uses the context of the 2020 pandemic as the foundation for a discourse on disappointment in life, and how we can navigate both uncertainty and frustration with grace and hope.
Sprinkling in stories from his own life, as well as examples from other people and scriptural accounts, Bytheway makes a compelling case that it is precisely because things often don't make sense in life that we are given opportunities to grow and exercise faith.
Written by John Bytheway, he explores the idea of what to do when things don't make sense, whether it is a trial you you are facing or a question about God and his teachings. He explores lessons from the scriptures and modern-day experiences, including the story of Job and the aftermath of the 2020 pandemic, helping you to see where you can always find peace, even when it doesn't make sense.
Another great and insightful book by John Bytheway, and we really enjoyed listening to it as a family.
It starts out looking back at 2020 with a little 20/20 vision. It talks about Job and all he endured. How do you make sense of trials that don't make sense?
This book used plenty of scriptural references, both from the Bible, as well as the Book of Mormon & Doctrine and Covenants. It used stories of people from history and others the author has known to demonstrate that sometimes we don't have the "why" to our trials, but we do have the ability to overcome them and choose faith over doubt.
This book has been very helpful to me during a trying time in my life. A lot of things don't seem to make sense in life, and John Bytheway discusses this using a lot of different circumstances and scripture verses. I have always appreciated his way of looking at things and he has an excellent way of reaching people, older and younger readers alike. This is a really good resource for anyone who is struggling through a trial and really, who isn't?
I bought this book because the title grabbed me (and because I like John Bytheway's down-to-earth style a lot) and it was such a good read. It addresses some difficult, hard-to-understand issues and says things in a very kind, non-preachy way. It's a brief 120 pages, but it's packed with powerful truths and "real" stuff that was good to be reminded of. I've already recommended it to a friend and will probably do so with others.
This was a great book! I loved the thoughts and stories that were shared in this book. I loved the reminder that sometimes things don’t make sense and we question. But why hold onto things we don’t know or understand. Hold onto the things that do make sense and what we know to be true. This is a really good testimony building book.
Lets face it much of our lives are made up of instances don't make sense to us. I have always enjoyed the ways that JB presents topics of discussion. Being in a place in my life where I am struggling with my relationship with the Gospel this book really reached out to me and gave me more hope for the future.
“Tragedies often happen in an instant. Then we spend a lifetime trying to cope with them and figure them out.”
I loved the explanation of Job and the understanding shared that “…Over the years I’ve learned that as much as I’d like Him to be, God isn’t always a God of explanations.”
This book will be a reread for me. Great reminders and scripture references.
Filled with stories, scripture and gospel quotes, this is a great reference for when you’re having a hard time making sense of the “why”. I liked his idea that “God is not a god of explanations”. He doesn’t give us answers but he will help us through the times we question. Read this in preparation for a talk Im giving and I know I’ll pull a lot of quotes from it.
Life and the gospel require faith that leads to action. Sometimes, it requires faith even when the answers we seek don't come right away or don't satisfy our immediate hopes, dreams, or needs. This little book looks at faith that preceeds the miracle, and also when the miracle is our ability to endure what we can't yet comprehend. Well worth reading more than once.
It's good. Classic John Bytheway. Lots of jokes, turns of phrases, and very clear/simple explanations on how to approach a variety of situations and experiences when it doesn't all make sense in gospel terms.
I read this book for the 52 books in 52 weeks reading challenge. I used the 2021 prompt read a book published in 2021. It was very thoughtfully put together and reminded me of a lot of things I knew, but are hard to remember sometimes in the midst of trials. It was very comforting.
John Bytheway knows how to speak to me. It answered some things I’ve been wondering and questioning. I have to chuckle cause I read that book today because I didn’t want to cry. One of the stories in it made me cry.
Fantastic short read! I really need the reminder today, that I won't have all the answers all the time. Life isn't as easy as googling a question and it wasn't meant to be. So many amazing messages and quotes in this short book. I will be rereading it very soon and marking it 😁❤️