Not If, When: Lyme Disease in Verse

by Gail Tierney

Even the most integrative, supportive doctor can only do so much for an individual during the worst period of healing from Lyme. The process looks different for everyone, but a patient must feel significantly worse before they begin to recover. When Lyme bacteria (or other coinfections) are first attacked by antibiotics, herbs, or other treatment, they release toxins into the body quicker than they can be dispelled. This is called a Jarisch-Herxheimer (Herx) reaction, and it can often include panic attacks, brain fog, paranoia, depression, pain, affected vision, racing heartrate, dysfunctional thyroid, disrupted digestion, severe confusion, and amnesia among many other symptoms. Herxing, in other words, is a complete—and sometimes seemingly unending—nightmare.When you’ve fretted about that frustrating doctor all night and Herxed all day, these autobiographical poems may go down smoother than a pill. Arranged chronologically in the order that they were written, they move from devastation to determination, addressing the various frustrations and dynamics of living with chronic Lyme disease—the isolation, the trauma, the fear—and also providing a voice of solidarity and inspiration for those suffering from this devastating illness. Written as a love letter for Lyme patients who are running out of patience, as well as for their family and friends, Not If, When is a clear-eyed, defiant, and poignant exploration of what it means to live—and sometimes even thrive—with Lyme.

Genres: Poetry, Nonfiction

138 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 30, 2025

Reviews

[Reading_ Tamishly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heart-breaking and so well written!

*Review Coming up! (????)

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars.

Not If, When is a collection of poems written about (and during) the poet's experience with chronic lyme disease. As someone who is disabled and chronically ill, I really related to a lot of the poems in this collection, although I don't have lyme (and I've been tested). She really captures the struggle to stay positive when your body and your environment are letting you down. While I enjoyed most of the poems, there were a number where the style or imagery were just not really my cup. Still relatable, still worth reading, and I would recommend it.

[Ashley Holstrom · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lovely.