Wait, I'm Working With Who?!?: The Essential Guide to Dealing with Difficult Coworkers, Annoying Managers, and Other Toxic Personalities

by Peter Economy

This is the go-to guide on working with anyone in your office—from the difficult or negative to the toxic and destructive—whether they are your manager, a team member, or someone who’s just waiting out the clock. Chock-full of useful advice that will make your workday happier and more productive. Who hasn’t had to deal with a jerk at work? Whether it’s a toxic team member who loves nothing more than to suck the life and excitement out of her colleagues, the difficult coworker who isn’t happy unless the office is filled with mayhem and drama, or a bad boss who causes his employees to constantly dream of telling him to “Take this job and shove it!”, we’ve all had to deal with people on the job we would rather not. Wait, I’m Working with Who?!? is the essential guide to identifying and dealing with jerks at work, including bad bosses, troublemaking coworkers, lazy and time-sucking team members, and toxic people of all sorts. This book covers the negative impact that problematic coworkers have on the workplace—lost productivity, high turnover, a company culture of ambivalence or defeat—and catalogs 16 specific species. It then goes on to share detailed steps for dealing with these characters—whether you’re an employee or a manager. The information and strategies in these chapters will be immediately actionable and profoundly helpful. Based on proven approaches and the latest research and advice of workplace experts, Wait, I’m Working with Who?!? provides readers with concrete, unambiguous advice on how to deal with and neutralize the negative people in their work lives.

Genres: Nonfiction, Business, Psychology

224 pages, Paperback

Published April 1, 2021

About the author

Peter Economy is a Wall Street Journal best-selling business author, ghostwriter, developmental editor, and publishing consultant with more than 125 books to his credit (and more than 3 million copies sold).

Peter’s latest book is Wait, I’m Working With Who?!? published by Career Press. He also helped create Unlearn: Let Go of Past Success to Achieve Extraordinary Results; Everything I Learned About Life I Learned in Dance Class; The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness (a Wall Street Journal bestseller); Managing For Dummies; User Story Mapping: Discover the Whole Story, Build the Right Product; The Management Bible; Peter Isler’s Little Blue Book of Sailing Secrets; and many more.

He is the Leadership Guy on Inc.com and for more than a decade served as Associate Editor for Leader to Leader magazine—published by the Frances Hesselbein Leadership Forum in New York City. Peter taught MGT 453: Creativity and Innovation as a lecturer at San Diego State University, is on the National Advisory Council of The Art of Science Learning, and is a founding member of the board of SPORTS for Exceptional Athletes.

A graduate of Stanford University (with majors in Economics and Human Biology), Peter has worked closely with some of the nation’s top business, leadership, and technology thinkers, including Jim Collins, Frances Hesselbein, Barry O’Reilly, Peter Senge, Kellie McElhaney, Jeff Patton, Marshall Goldsmith, Marty Cagan, Lolly Daskal, Guy Kawasaki, Emma Seppala, William Taylor, Jim Kilts, Jean Lipman-Blumen, Stephen Orban, Ken Blanchard, and many others.

Reviews

[Tina Panik · Rating 2 out of 5]

The questions one should ask about the personalities and incidents that happen in a work environment are the most valuable part of this. Otherwise, it’s skimmable.

[Madison · Rating 4 out of 5]

Everyone has worked in teams and everyone has worked with or for a difficult person at some point in their life (and if not, then you are pretty lucky). Working with others takes a careful balance of skills and considering different personalities. I’ve read many books about working in teams or people management but few of them focus on the challenges and the really tough stuff of conflict management. If you too have noticed that gap or want a guide on how to handle that person you just don’t get or who is constantly negative or bringing you down at work, then this is the book for you.

Wait, I’m Working With Who? Starts with A Field Guide To Jerks At Work. It outlines both the impact of workers that the book labels as jerks and then lists the sixteen most common jerks you’ll encounter. It lists behaviours and traits you might recognise or things to be on the lookout for. I like that though this book is all about helping you work better with others, it doesn’t neglect the reader or their role in the workplace, encouraging you to reflect on your own behaviour and identify when your behaviour might slide into jerk territory.

Once you are able to identity and name common jerk behaviour, the book then moves into part two, where it outlines eight strategies for dealing with jerks. Throughout these eight chapters, the jerk behaviours are referenced and there are case studies and worked examples, so you can see how these strategies can be put into action. The eight strategies range from things you can do in your everyday practice, minute by minute, like stepping back and assessing the situation to strategies that are good for those in management positions, like hiring and firing procedures.

I love that this book tackles the hard stuff head on and doesn’t pretend that a positive work environment is something that just happens. This book is perfect for those who are in management positions but equally for any worker in any position. This is a guide I am going to want on hand throughout my working career, something I can dip back into as needed.

The publishers provided an advanced readers copy of this book for reviewing purposes. All opinions are my own.

Find more reviews, reading age guides, content advisory, and recommendations on my blog Madison's Library

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Going back to re-read a few areas. Interesting read with useful tips for all those in the workforce. This book is great because it works for various settings: profit, high-end firms, small offices, non-profits, retail, etc. One minus---sounds like everyone is some kind of jerk(but maybe that's just reality). Positives: makes you self-reflect on your own jerkiness, offers advice on how to counter different varieties of jerks, case studies to illustrate specific examples of bad behavior and how to correct them/ourselves. Easy to read style--not at all textbook style.

[Nonnin · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5/5 หนังสือบอกเล่าคนประเภทต่างๆ แต่อ่านส่วนแรกของเนื้อหาคิดว่ามีแต่น้ำ

[Fei · Rating 3 out of 5]

Easy read structured like a buzzfeed article, some insights based on case studies.

[Rebecca · Rating 2 out of 5]

Good basic descriptions of different work personalities but very generalized examples. It didn’t really draw me in. I liked Alison Green’s Ask a Manager better for this type of book.

[Mehlika A. · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don’t usually come across a book I don’t like, because I am very picky with the books that I choose to read, but this book was very disappointing.

I went into reading the book thinking that I would gain insight into working with toxic people and gain actual advice, but most of the book was very repetitive and extremely lengthened. The book could have been shortened into 20 pages, and the advice in the book wasn’t anything new. It was repetitive, basic advice that I could have told myself. It’s as if the author read one book about a toxic person, and decided to write this book using information he googled in twenty minutes. It’s really shallow advice that would not work for everyone.

I do not believe this book was written for adults, the language seems really too simplified and childish, and I personally couldn’t relate to many things in the book, because it doesn’t really take into account how complex people and situations can be.

Does the book have good advice? Yes, you come across something worth reading once in a while but it’s a waste of time when it’s wrapped around so many unnecessary words. Because of the length of the book, you can’t really reach the four sentences of good advice that you might need. The book would have been better in a format of an online article in a simplified version. Really disappointing when you also learn that the author is a Stanford graduate, because you’d think that they would be able to write better books.

[Book Beforebed_ · Rating 4 out of 5]

การเล่าเรื่อง ผู้เขียนเขียนได้อ่านง่าย เข้าใจไม่ยาก ไม่น่าเบื่อ แบ่งพาร์ทชัดเจน สำหรับเรามันทำให้เรารู้ว่า การกระทำแบบนี้มันส่งผลกระทบต่อเรามากกว่าที่คิดนะ เช่น การอยู่ใกล้คนขี้บ่น มันจะเหมือนเราได้รับพลังงานลบมาโดยไม่รู้ตัว และอาจจะทำให้เรากลายเป็นคนคิดลบตามไปด้วย สมองก็ไม่ปลอดโปร่ง เพราะต้องมานั่งรับสารที่ไม่จรรโลงใจเข้าไปในหัว ประมาณนี้ เป็นต้น

ถือเป็นหนังสือที่เหมาะกับวัยทำงานแบบเรามากค่ะ ต้องจดไว้และนำไปใช้ 5555

[Michelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

4 people report to me, and they have teams under them. There is always a bit of tension between colleagues in at least one of my teams. Sometimes, people just struggle to work together. So the book looked promising - how do you work with difficult coworkers? But, sad to say, there's not too much in this book that will help you.
Firstly, the author uses an annoying term "jerks". Difficult people are grouped into 16 categories of Jerks. Advice about situations refers continually to "the jerk" - "...openly call out the jerk..."; "If the jerk is a coworker...". It was an annoying term; it became repetitive, and it dehumanised the co worker. Yes, people BEHAVE like jerks; colleagues frequently do and say annoying and unproductive things. But most people have good intentions; they just sometimes have poor self-awareness or communication skills.

I couldn't recognise the scenarios that I encounter in any of the case studies. Few of my team members would threaten each other, sexually harrass each other or deliberately spread gossip to get a job. I don't think I work with angels - just people who miscommunicate/take things too personally/rub each other up the wrong way, rather than engage in cut throat, comic book tactics.

Apart from some quite general advice, I don't think most readers would find helpful information about their difficult work colleagues in this book.

[Jules Poet · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a halfway decent book, but it lacks a lot of practical ways of dealing with things.

If you are looking for a way to do these things - this book is right for you:
1) Understand what kind of toxic person you are working with
2) Figure out if you are a toxic person at work & get ideas on how to fix it
3) If you know the type of toxic person you are working with - there will be at least one made up “Case Study” about a single circumstance of what it is like to work with that type of person & suggestions on how to make things better
4) You like quotes that are at least semi-pertinent to the subject matter

Was it worth the listen? Yes

Would I recommend it to others? Maybe, though not likely

There’s a certain amount of go-getter-ness, self-confidence, assertiveness, and willingness to risk your job involved in following the advice in this book. If someone has all those qualities already and is looking for a way to identify toxic behaviors in others - then this book is one I would recommend.

[Alex Anderson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Found this lying around at a friend’s over the holiday weekend. Finished in a couple hours as it’s mostly headlines and short bullets vs. fully fledged writing. I think we can all admit that we’ve worked with “jerks” and there are certainly some relatable archetypes in the case studies. However, a lot of the scenarios and advice seemed completely unrealistic in practice. This is common in self help books, but it made a lot of the practical takeaways near useless as I couldn’t imagine ever actually saying or doing them.

[Paiman Chen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun yet provoking.

the pessimist
the envier
the intimidator
the credit thief
the gossiper
the lazy one
the micromanager
the competitor
the narcissist
the complainer
the nitpicker - know it all
the malicious one
the backstabber
the non-responder
the chatter

Get to know the jerk
- Refuse to play their game
- Don't sweat the small stuff
- Don't be a jerk yourself

[Tej Dhawan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’m not sure why our library added this to the “business books to read” list. It was, at best, a skimmable read that should have a byline urging those starting a career to read.

After nearly 35 years in the workforce, not only have I encountered the behaviors, I’ve also been guilty of a few. The corrections highlighted are interesting but the meat of the corrections, seeking and incorporating feedback comes toward the end as an afterthought.

[Lena · Rating 3 out of 5]

I feel this book was a take what you need a leave the rest. In my opinion there are so many levels of intersectionality that are not addressed in this book. I took what I could use and left what I didn't deem extremely helpful.

[Jackson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some good ideas, though rather impractical in some situations, as it presumes that there are no bad hats further up the line. Still, nice to have some ideas to ponder if things happen badly again. Wish I had had guts earlier on, though many problems retire or quit.

[Therin Stapp · Rating 4 out of 5]

So far this is my favorite entry in the deep dive I'm doing into conflict management for the workplace. It has a weak start, but there's some great stuff in here. A more psychological approach than the more pragmatic "jerks at work."

[Carrie Cheng · Rating 4 out of 5]

Simple and straight forward. 16 traits of toxic people and how to deal with them in short scenarios and antidotes. Oh, I miss Zoom.

[Elisabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Easy read with good information. Would have liked to see a little more depth to the topics at hand, but overall satisfying.

[Medu · Rating 3 out of 5]

อ่านแล้วพบว่าเป็นคนนั้นเสียเอง

[Kellie · Rating 4 out of 5]

It pointed out things we already know, but put it into a great perspective. Helped me validate my feelings with people I’ve been struggling with in the workplace.

[Tracy Miller · Rating 2 out of 5]

Shallow and simplistic.

[Katelyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was good, but I feel like it had a very black and white viewpoint. There's so many gray layers to people and especially our coworkers.

[Michael Laritz · Rating 3 out of 5]

I already knew this stuff. Not worth it for me.

[SJ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not that great but did hold some value.

[Aruna Reddy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Felt incomplete