Not pounded by anything while I practice responsable social distancing

by Chuck Tingle

​As an illness know as the trotting plague sweeps the nation, Bill is taking all the necessary precautions. The most difficult one for him to implement, however, is social distancing. At first Bill is content to simply avoid large crowds, but when he finds himself trotting, a symptom of the trotting plague, he decides to self-quarantine entirely.

It’s not easy to cease all in-person social activity, especially when Bill has three upcoming dates this weekend. As the dates arrive at his house and Bill turns them away, however, he beings to realize just how understanding his loved ones are in this time of crisis. He also realizes just how much he’s going to get done over the next few weeks, and discovers that there are much worse fates than some time on his own.

After not getting pounded by anything while he practices responsible social distancing, Bill discovers the most important date of all was a date with himself.

This no sex tale is 4,100 words of self-quarantine action, including learning safe habits, respecting boundaries, and doing your part for the health and safety of others.

Genres: LGBT, Short Stories, Romance

21 pages, ebook

Published January 1, 2020

About the author

Chuck Tingle is a mysterious force of energy behind sunglasses and a pink mask. He is also an anonymous author of romance, horror, and fantasy. Chuck was born in Home of Truth, Utah, and now splits time between Billings, Montana and Los Angeles, California. Chuck writes to prove love is real, because love is the most important tool we have when resisting the endless cosmic void. Not everything people say about Chuck is true, but the important parts are.

Management and general inquiry: infotingleverse@gmail.com

Literary agent: DongWon at dongwonsong.com

Reviews

[Matteo Fumagalli · Rating 2 out of 5]

Videorecensione: https://youtu.be/sdvspeJBkRw

[Tanja · Rating 3 out of 5]

dude staying inside & self quarantining himself like a respectful king we stan

[Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is exactly the manual for our current times that we need. Chuck Tingle provides perfect examples of how to practice social distancing in the face of the COVID 19 pandemic. Tingle not only illustrates how to avoid the possible spreading of the disease, but how difficult it is. Entertaining and educational, this should be required reading for the current times.

[Eilís Nolan · Rating 5 out of 5]

We stan a responsible king.

[Markéta · Rating 4 out of 5]

Yet another solid Tingler by the one and only Mr. Tingle. This heartwarming tale will give you the right mindset for practicing social distancing. 11/10

[Charlie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't think it would surprise anyone to know that I do not read a lot of gay erotic fiction about Bigfoots, Dinosaurs, Unicorns, or living objects. This fact is irrelevant. Dr. Chuck Tingle is arguably the most delightful fixture on Twitter with his advocacy of love and tolerance that I have decided to start listening to his podcast ("My Friend Chuck") which has led me to have a deep appreciation for what he's trying to do.

Look, I may not be into the specific things they discuss in the books but I'm into the attitude of tolerance and acceptance. Also, it is weird as hell. That's worth something.

This ebook is quite short and focuses on a situation very well known to us in these shut-in days wherein we socially distance from one another. It tells the story of a man who isn't able to go on dates with his dinosaur, bigfoot, or unicorn friends(lovers?) due to needing to self-quarantine in fears that he has he has a plague. There is no sex in this book, although there is a strong implication that the dinosaur was going to engage in some with the narrator. There is a lot of responsible content and I applaud it.

Since the book was so short, Dr. Tingle saw fit to throw in another book right after it and the second book is about getting things done while the manifestation of the author's doubt tries to prevent him from writing a book. It's a bit meta, as I have learned many of Dr. Tingle's books tend to be. The second feature is not as strong as the first but both are quite excellent. I'd probably go four stars for social distancing and three stars for the self-doubt one so my review is actually 3.5 stars.

Love is real, Dr. Tingle. Thank you for being a real one.

[Percy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Phenomenal read. There is no way a neurotypical person wrote this.

[Martina Weiß · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 / 5 Stars

It's impossible to not know who Chuck Tingle is. And yet, even though I knew about him and about how amazing of a person he was, I had never read a book of his before.
Until now, that is!

I was curious to see, what a Tingler had to offer, and I can happily say, that not only, are the books written by an amazing author & have the literal best titels in the history of literature ever, their qualitly is ALSO really good as well!!

So, if you ever wondered: Can Chuck Tingle write? Is he a good author? Well, look no further, because the answer is yes.

The voice in this one is really nice to read, combined with a light-hearted humour, that never, not even for a second, turns the virus into the butt of the joke.

I can't tell you much more, because this is a really short read. I liked the ending by the way. It was warm and hopefull and it made me smile.

Final words:
If you believe that the virus excistes, and you want to read something hopeful and good, this might be the book for you.

[Jana Eichhorn · Rating 3 out of 5]

That was.....about what I'd expected.

[Ash Reads Books · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really hope future historians use this as a primary source on public responses to the Covid-19 pandemic.

[Stephen Roberts · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really not sure what I expected from a Chuck Tingle book.

[Jacob Spencer · Rating 2 out of 5]

The sentiment is nice and the message is 'right'. I found it very hard to get into the headspace of someone who goes from being so social that he has three dates scheduled in three days (the last one with an entire sports team) to completely self-isolating in order to avoid the trotting plague, and his reaction is actually that he finds he loves the isolation and sees it as an opportunity to do all sorts of things by himself. It seems telling that the book goes from our main character deciding to quarantine after experiencing a small trot, making one dinner for himself, and then suddenly skips to the future when everything is fine again and all the characters are telling each other how much they enjoyed their self-isolation. I think the story would have been much stronger if it had honestly grappled with the difficulty of being locked down and alone for the greater good - but I do understand that Chuck Tingle's style doesn't really lend itself to that sort of complexity.

Also, I know this is self-published, but there's a frankly shocking number of typos and mistakes in the Kindle edition. It seems fitting that even the title in the Goodreads database is spelt wrong!

[Kae]

proud 2 b a buckaroo

[Jen]

still don't know what to rate it.
this was pleasant though. nice sentiment really

[the internet self-loathing poet · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this is the most bizarre fantasy short story I've ever read 😂