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Kim: Empty Inside: The Diary of an Anonymous Teenager

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When Kim can't handle things, she eats. Then she purges. Sometimes she fasts. She knows she isn't as thin as the other girls on her gymnastics team, and she's worried that now, away from home for the first time as a college freshman, she won't be able to live up to expectations -- especially her own. Eating is the one thing she can control -- or can she?

165 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published April 1, 2002

17 people are currently reading
1366 people want to read

About the author

Beatrice Sparks

21 books1,368 followers
Beatrice Sparks was an American therapist and Mormon youth counselor who was known for producing books purporting to be the 'real diaries' of troubled teenagers. The books deal with topical issues such as drug abuse, Satanism, teenage pregnancy or AIDS, and are presented as cautionary tales. Although Sparks always presented herself as merely the discoverer and editor of the diaries, records at the U.S. Copyright Office show that in fact she was listed as the sole author for all but two of them.
Sparks began working with teenagers in 1955, after attending the University of California at Los Angeles and Brigham Young University. She has worked as a music therapist at Utah State Mental Hospital and taught continuing education courses at BYU.
Critics have called the precise extent of Sparks' qualifications and experience into question. The editorial credit on some of the diaries published by Sparks identifies her as "Dr Beatrice Sparks, PhD". However, when journalist Aileen Pace Nilsen interviewed Sparks for School Library Journal in 1979, she was unable to find any confirmation of where or when Sparks earned her doctorate. Nilsen also wrote that Sparks was "vague about specifics" when asked about her counseling qualifications and professional experience.
Sparks said that her experience working with troubled adolescents made her want to produce cautionary tales that would keep other teens from falling into the same traps. Her first work, Go Ask Alice, was published under the byline 'Anonymous' in 1971.

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5 stars
200 (23%)
4 stars
154 (18%)
3 stars
238 (28%)
2 stars
143 (17%)
1 star
99 (11%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 65 reviews
200 reviews
September 29, 2007
If only my eating disorder would've turned out this neat! Then I could've gotten married at the ripe old age of 22! And found God! And kept my virginity! And always written with exclamation points!!!!!!!
Beatrice Sparks, I rue the day I wasted my time on you!!!!!
Profile Image for Audrey.
29 reviews
October 21, 2012
Ugh. This book is maybe a 1.5. I was really bothered by this one.

The only good thing about this book is that it does a pretty good job of portraying accurate symptoms of an eating disorder and showing how they can manifest. It also had some awareness things in the back like symptoms and repercussions of eating disorders, and places that can help, which is always nice. But everything else about this book I did not like.

The book is slow. The character is an exact clone of the protagonist from Treacherous Love, right down to the poetry they randomly write in their journal and how they use words/phrases they like the sound of even though they don't really know what they mean. This is the third Beatrice Sparks book that I have read and all of the speakers [including the one from Go Ask Alice] are so similar that it is like she was not even trying at all to make them distinctive.

It didn't feel realistic at all. The speaker was really immature for being a senior in high school/college freshman, it felt like she was only 13 or 14. She was boy crazy and naive and used way too many capitals in places that were completely ridiculous. She also didn't have the voice of a teenager, Beatrice Sparks has the tendency to casually apply words and phrases that teenagers don't know or use. I have noticed that all of her protagonists say, "I too", as in like, "Someday I too will ___". Which, I'm sorry but, I have never heard a teenager say in my life and it bugged me.

In places it felt like the writer was trying to keep it from sounding too dull so she tried to embellish it with pretty words or styling but it ended up feeling like it was an actual novel instead of a diary, especially where the entries contained dialogue.

Lastly, my complaint is that while the basic portrayal of symptoms and such of an eating disorder was pretty right, I didn't feel that the author really captured the pain and obsession involved in having an eating disorder. For the narrator her eating disorder was very passive and at times felt like it was taking the backseat in her life when that is not true at all and that it actually ends up consuming every aspect of your life.
Profile Image for Klaudyna Z..
512 reviews11 followers
May 10, 2011
I hated this book. It was written in such an immature way. I understand that it is supposed to be from the perspective of a teenager, but the teenager in this book is 18 and going away to college, and it sounds like it was written by a freshman in high school. It was so bad that I considered not reading it because it made me angry but it was a pretty fast read so I decided to finish it. I also did not like how it ended. The book spans over about a year of Kim's life while she is dealing with an eating disorder. At the end of the book she gets help and is ultimately on the path of recover, emotionally speaking, meaning that she has accepted that she has a problem and is ready to get well. Well in my experience, it doens't happen that quickly. Usually eating disorders last a lot longer than just a year, and people get help numerous times before they are emotionally and mentally ready to actually get help. This book was unrealistic and it seemed like Kim's problem, as serious as it was, was easily solveable and that is just not the case in real life.
2 reviews
July 18, 2011
TERRIBLE. Poorly written, no excuse for this as it's clearly fiction. Completely unrealistic account of an ED. Protagonist is irritating.
Profile Image for ♥Xeni♥.
1,202 reviews80 followers
December 7, 2010
Books like this just made me more depressed... the never helped me to figure out who I am, or how I can not be like this anonymous teenager!

I don't know if I'd go so far as to say that they ought not to be published, but it's pretty close to that. They make a lot of situations worse, and not better. That's how it was for me with most of these books, and the people that I saw read them too. Anonymous diaries don't help teens... they just show them how to be unstable better.
Profile Image for Brenda.
3 reviews1 follower
November 6, 2008
I absolutely loved this book. It is not something you read about every day, but yet something interesting and common in many people. My favorite character of the book was Jade. Jade is brave, and likes helping others. She like every person has flaws, but they’re few and she does her best to correct them. She has a lot in common with Kim, which is why they get along so well. My least favorite characters were Rod and Mark. These guys make Kim’s life more complicated and traumatizing. They are two selfish guys who only want one thing, and they will go to any extend to make it possible. If this book was made into a movie I would have no specific actors. All I would ask for is that they seem as an everyday simple kind of person.
The reason I kept reading this book was because everything seems so real, something we can all relate to in some way. And overall it is something that could happen to anyone. In some way I was not able to predict the end of the book. I thought that her illness was going to be more serious, but fortunately she had many people who cared for her and helped her through.

“For the first time in since I was little:
I feel good.
I feel “right.”
It might take a long time to completely HEAL
BUT…
With the help of Mom, Dad, Lawrence, the twins, Susan, and my friends, I can do it!”

This book had a little of everything. In some cases I would feel happy and excited, but in other cases it would make me feel sorry for Kim, and I felt upset. I would recommend this book to teenage girls because this book opens your mind in many ways. It also helps you establish your world to a world you want to live in. And it also teaches you that there are many people you can go to for help that you hadn’t realized before.
The title says it all. Kim seems perfect to the world, but no one really knows her inner thoughts she struggles with her confidence and self-esteem. This is what captivated my attention. And in my opinion, that’s the reason the author wrote this book. I think the author wanted to teach young girls today, that appearances are nothing, and even though one thinks we have nothing we really have everything.


Profile Image for Maryam_a_140a513.
4 reviews
December 10, 2013
A quick read of the title will instantaneously tell you the format in which this book is written, a diary entry format. The feature that I most enjoyed about the book was that, unlike other diary entry books, this one actually feels as though I am flicking through the pages of someone’s life through their eyes. Additionally, the book targets a contentious issue, that is, eating disorders. The author manages to discuss this issue in a way that would reach out to many suffering from eating disorders, as well as educate others about the effects of eating disorders. Another plus is that even though Kim: Empty Inside is about the struggles of a teenage girl’s eating habits, the book also includes other themes, such as family, and trying to achieve something. However, the book is a tad bit short and therefore lacked detail. Much was not known about the characters or their backgrounds. Nevertheless, I still enjoyed it and would recommend this book if you are interested and looking for a good, short read about an issue many individuals face in their day-to-day lives.
Profile Image for Jessica.
354 reviews34 followers
March 25, 2009
This was written in the manner a teenager truly would write their diary, which was very appealing to me. It brought back silly memories of doting over boys, and bonding with girlfriends.

I initially picked this book up because the main character, Kim, is a gymnast. I hoped to read all about her experiences with the sport, as a former gymnast, and coach myself. It turned out that being a gymnast was just one aspect of who she was and really had very little do to with the self-esteem problems that the book centered around. While eating disorders are a phenomenon in competitive gymnastics, the book didn't link the two together as much as I had expected.

I have had, and still have several very close friends in my life who have battled or are battling with eating disorders which made this book close to my heart. I was able to get some insight into the thought patterns of those struggling with this disease.

I give it 3-1/2 stars.
Profile Image for Eva-Marie Nevarez.
1,694 reviews134 followers
July 28, 2009
I didn't finish this- I got a little before the halfway mark this morning after picking it up. I was planning on finishing it after starting because it's better than the last Sparks book I tried to read, Finding Kate.
The thing is, there is only so much folloshness I can read. "I feel like a grunt, grunt, pig."? Um, yeah. "spoiled brat little squirty me"? wtf?
Get the hell out of here. I can't read that. I'm actually a little pissed off right now that this is indeed a book. This person is supposed to be almost 18 years old. Now, I may have been a little too street and world wise by that age but come on. Even the most sheltered kid, and I did have some sheltered friends, don't speak or write like that. Sparks should be ashamed of herself. If she's trying to help kids than she should try to make the "person" who wrote this diaries a little more relatable.
I'm giving this two stars because it didn't suck like Finding Kate and that's about it.
Profile Image for Shelby Lamb.
Author 18 books106 followers
September 19, 2016
Empty Inside: The Diary of an Anonymous Teenager really fits its name because it was, well, EMPTY INSIDE. Instead of ravishing details and an insight into ED like I had hoped, it came up short with FLAT FLAT FLAT characters (and this is how Kim speaks) and minimalist descriptions of an obviously made-up diary of a teenage girl battling an eating disorder. It was very slow.... I'm talking SNAIL PACE. In fact I was 80% through my e-book version of it (and I had to look) when it started mentioning the seriousness of her condition, hospital runs, etc. The most horrible fact: it was ALL TELL and no SHOWING and only the help of coffee and by the grace of God was I capable of getting through this snooze-fest. This is my absolute LAST time reading a book written in journal entry style. Lesson learned. Thank you coffee!

Shelby~
Profile Image for April Lyn.
223 reviews19 followers
July 2, 2011
This is another diary written by an anonymous teenager, from the series edited by Beatrice Sparks. I've previously read Go Ask Alice and It Happened to Nancy, the themes of which were drug abuse and rape/AIDS, respectively. This book was about eating disorders, and it was definitely the least interesting of the three. It also made me kinda queasy at times, though it doesn't get too graphic. I probably would NOT recommend it.
Profile Image for PinkAmy loves books, cats and naps .
2,690 reviews250 followers
August 17, 2015
Grade: F

Kim is an immature seventeen-year-old, overly dependent on her parents and older twin sisters who develops and recovers from an eating disorder in record time. Her diary entries sound more like they were written by a middle schooler, though most of editor Beatrice Sparks "true" diaries have been debunked as untrue, though they are found in the fiction section labeled as true.
I only picked this out because I was looking for a cheap read. I don't recommend this book.
Profile Image for Alessa Biblioteca.
66 reviews2 followers
June 7, 2009
this book is kinda generic (for my tastes at least). There isn't as much depth to it as i hoped there would be. it's suppose to be the diary of a college freshman with an eating disorder...but it reads more like the diary of a twelve year old who wishes she were skinnier.

Profile Image for Gracie.
11 reviews
May 29, 2017
This book gave me mixed feelings from the beginning. After reading the whole thing in under 2 hours, I've come to the conclusion that it's definitely not the best YA fiction novel in regards to anorexia or bulimia.

I feel that it does not portray realistic ideas about eating disorders besides the symptoms. It wasn't written in the best way and I felt like a was reading a book targeted for middle schoolers...not young adults or teens.

Kim's (main character) journal entries seemed very naive which gave me the impression that this isn't at a YA level. She sort of rubbed me the wrong way with her constant complaining which did start to fade towards the end. Despite some poor reviews for this book, I decided to try it for myself but have to say I do agree with the other reviews. I'm not one to write a negative review but this just wasn't a book I would recommend to someone who is looking for a raw, authentic YA novel about eating disorders or anything for that matter.

Profile Image for Jess.
87 reviews
January 17, 2019
I have read numerous books about eating disorders and eating disorder recovery. What I have found is that there are two different categories of books: the ones that are realistic and show the sudden fall into the disorder and the hard climb out of it and many of them never quite fully recover from, and the ones that show the behavior strongly suddenly and then are magically fine at the end of the book; in other words, the realistic ones and the unrealistic ones. This one falls in the latter. Seriously, I do not believe that this book is realistic at all!!! The book does not show the struggle of the recovery and the actual despair that comes with having an eating disorder. Not only that, but at the end of the book, when she realizes that she does have a disorder, she goes back to her life as if nothing is wrong and everything goes back to normal, uhhhh what!? Yeah, big waste of an evening reading this crap!
Profile Image for Miriam Rose.
268 reviews1 follower
March 22, 2019
I have to say, I'm very glad that this book didn't end the way that most of Beatrice Sparks books end. This story follows a girl named Kim starting her first year at college and falling in love with her first boyfriend while combating anorexia and bulimia. I expected, like most of the other Beatrice Sparks books to end with the main character dying or relapsing. I was very pleasantly surprised that neither happened. While some of the journal entries seemes unrealistic and not things that a teenager would actually say, I did enjoy the part about Kim realizing she had a problem, fighting to fix her problem, and joining therapy as well as confiding in her friends, family and boyfriend to help get better. The story ends with her being very happy and going on the road to recovery. I would recommend this book to anyone. I only gave this four stars because the some of the unrealistic and annoying journal entries, but I really enjoyed this book.
Profile Image for Lou Bishop.
20 reviews2 followers
June 21, 2017
This diary was really good. I don't read a lot of diaries but this one was truly amazing. I feel that I should start to read more diaries because I really didn't now how interesting they can be when you pick the right one! This book about a girl with an eating disorder really touched me and made me realize how hard it is to have an eating disorder. this book was truly amazing and I think anyone would love this book!
Profile Image for nina.
31 reviews3 followers
October 9, 2024
it took me 9 months to get through half of this book. had to DNF, it was truly one of the worst things i’ve ever read. everything about it was bad, from the writing to the story to the characters. 0/5 if i could.
Profile Image for Desiree Kaslavage.
190 reviews29 followers
October 19, 2020
Pretty good story. Not as suspenseful as the other "found diaries" so it seemed pretty slow to me. I still plan on reading the rest though.
Profile Image for Ginger Johnson.
27 reviews
January 27, 2023
This is a serious problem with todays teens trying to fit in. Everyone worries about their weight but you have to make sure it's the right way versus the wrong.
Profile Image for Kayla Canning.
226 reviews
July 18, 2023
Such a great short read. Truly makes you think and puts you in the shoes of another.
1 review
January 20, 2025
Not a fan of this one, the book seemed to drag on and just wasn’t my cup of tea to be honest.
4 reviews
February 12, 2017
Kim: Empty inside
Kim said: "Gymnasts are used to feeling pain but... wow"
This quote describes this book very well. It basically says that being a gymnast takes effort, and you are gonna be sore and tired. The pain that Kim is going through is deeper, it is internal. It is a disorder. The authors purpose of writing Kim: Empty Inside was to show young readers how much it takes and how dedicated you have to be. The author wanted to show us that while you're under pressure you have to keep your head high. Kim is a gymnast that is under lots of pressure and when you're under pressure, stress kicks in. "Miss Muskinko called me into her office, and she was more excited than I've ever seen her before. She told me that a few weeks ago she sent some tapes of me to a gymnastic coach at UCLA. The UCLA coach said that I appeared to have a lot of natural ability and she would be looking forward to seeing me in person".

Themes of books can be very hard to find. The theme of this book is somewhat obvious. Beatrice wants young girls to know that they aren't the only ones going through tough times and that it'll get better. Kim suffers because of being under pressure, from eating disorders. When Kim feels like it's all counting on her, she stops eating."I looked down at the food on my plate and suddenly realized it was ALL FAT FAT, greasy, uncooked white pig." She wants people to realize that it is okay not to be perfect. Kim doesn't want to say no to eating the food, so she waits.. then hides it. Sometimes in her pocket in a plastic bag, or sometimes behind things. " I am so ashamed of hiding my food behind the plant at Indian Waters". This quote supports the theme because it is showing that Kim is in pain, and how she hides her food so people won't notice. It also gives detail about where she hid her food.

This book was written in exposition style. The author is explaining the issue of not eating because of stress. Beatrice wants to show people what happens in today's world: "I've been working my heart out in gymnastics and classes! UCLA is expensive and demanding." That is all people are worried about now a days, impressing people from parents to peers. Everyone in sports feels like they have to do something, they feel as if they are required to go somewhere in athletics. Do what makes you happy, not what would make your parents happy. It is your life, to do what makes you happy. "My parents would be crushed if I didn't make the grade and my sisters would be humiliated and uncomfortable around me forever. I've got to make it!" The author did a good job of informing the readers. She put you in Kim shoes for a change. She made you feel like you were there. It was an effective choice of writing.

I enjoyed this book. I liked this book because of how realistic it was. It was from a teenager's perspective, which made me relate to it more! I liked how she wrote all her feelings and thoughts in her journal. She didn't hide anything. I didn't like how her parents were so judgmental of her and want her to do the same thing they did as kids. If I could make a change to it, I would make her parents supporting her decision. I would also let her go to whatever college she wanted to go to. I want Kim to live her own life. It was very unique of a book! I enjoyed it very much!!
Profile Image for Mouse.
18 reviews2 followers
April 15, 2023
I read a few Beatrice Sparks books as a young'un, so when I recently saw this for fifty cents at a thrift store, I bought it with some vague idea of indulging my inner child (whatever that means). I realize now how twisted it might seem for me to think a book about an eating disordered teenager would please my inner child, but I was the kind of kid who wrote bad poetry in little notebooks during class and read books about other sad teenagers during lunch. I was basically Beatrice Sparks's target audience, so I'm surprised I didn't read this one before. It is possible I did read it and forgot about it because pretty much nothing memorable happens. The convenience of writing a book in the style of a diary is you have an excuse for not having a plot. (Though the cover of the book says "The Diary of an Anonymous Teenager," the Library of Congress data on the copyright page labels it fiction written by Beatrice Sparks.) The narrator Kim mostly talks about her obsessive need for a boyfriend's attention. She mentions gymnastics and schoolwork occasionally. Her eating disordered behavior gets more drastic as the book progresses, but through the magic of group therapy, she feels "right" in the end. It's probably supposed to be a heartwarming story, but Kim was so self-centered, it was hard for me to like her enough to get invested in her well-being. At one point, she writes about being at her friend Jade's house for dinner and throwing away her food while no one is around, so they won't know she didn't eat it. Later she hears Jade and her mother talking, and she worries she's been caught. But, Kim says, "Thank goodness it wasn't that! It was just that Jade's brother had wrecked his car." Wow, Kim.
I asked myself so many times as I read this, "Was I this insufferable as a teenager?" At least I didn't RANDOMLY GO INTO CAPS LOCKS like Kim does on nearly every single page. She also uses an abundance of exclamation points, leading me to read most of this book as if I'm being yelled at. She literally put eleven exclamation points after one sentence. Yes, I counted!!!!!!!!!!!

If anyone is genuinely interested in the experiences of a young woman with eating disorders, You Remind Me of You by Eireann Corrigan is so much better than this, and it's autobiographical, not made-up garbage.
Profile Image for Riley S..
11 reviews
February 21, 2014
Key Issues: Kim thinks that she eats too much. She wants to be skinnier, but Anorexia and Bulimia are tugging at her mind.

Characters:
Kim: Main character, protagonist and antagonist. Kim has Anorexia and Bulimia. She doesn't want to eat anything, and when she does, she purges.

B.J Blake: Supporting character. Talks to Kim and drives her places while her father was in the hospital.

Tad: Supporting character. Kim's friend who she "fell in love with." Tad is also gay.

Becca: Kim's female friend from UCLA. One person that Kim talks to a lot.

Lawrence: Supporting character. Kim's boyfriend who she is terrified to tell about her problems.

Kim's parents: Supporting characters. Kim loves her parents very much and always talks about them


In the form of journal entries, Kim tells about how her diseases slowly start to develop. She doesn't really understand at first about what is happening, she just wants to lose weight. She doesn't really realize how dangerous what she is doing it. After she realizes she has a problem, she thinks she is getting better, but it's almost like a bipolar thing. One day she will realize how truly beautiful person she is, and the next day she will be crying about how much she ate or that she ate anything at all. Sometimes she'd even cry that she didn't eat!

I gave this book 3 stars because although I loved hearing about Kim's journey, I felt the book was kind of childish in the way that it was formatted. That's just me though. I did however think that the way she described how she felt made a lot of sense. It was very simple and easy to understand. Being easy to understand is a good thing for people who know nothing about Anorexia or Bulimia. Kim: Empty Inside is a very heartfelt story of a girl who's going through one of the most difficult things that anyone could go through
Profile Image for kim.
515 reviews
August 31, 2010
The good: it was a quick read.
Not so good: it was pretty simplistic. I'm not sure how realistically it is written. The girl is supposed to be 17 and a HS senior/ college freshman. But I'm thinking her writing sounds more like a 14-15 year old. The books consists of 'diary entries' so there isn't a lot of depth to them. Everything is in spurts. Kim seems to know she needs help, but doesn't let anyone one know. She is just hoping someone picks up her diary and reads it.
I'm also not sure who the audience is for this. Is it supposed to be for teens with eating disorders, or maybe their friends? Or for parents? There are a couple of pages at the back listing 'symptoms' of eating disorders, but I don't really think the book would hold the interest of a teen or parent long enough to get there.

This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for uniquareads.
261 reviews3 followers
October 23, 2018
Probably one of the worst books I've read this year. I don't like how the eating disorder was portrayed in this story. Kim was such a bitch, whiny, inconsiderate, unlikeable. I don't know how she was able to make it out alive considering all that she's done to herself to appear thin. She never bothered to ask for help, and when she did get the help fussed and complained that she didn't need nor want the help when us readers clearly knew that she NEEDED it. The fact that she was a gymnast and people somewhat encouraged her to lose all that unhealthy weight really bothered me. This book has so many trigger warnings. It could've been portrayed so much better than it was because Beatrice Sparks isn't a bad author. This book was gross. I do not and will not ever recommend. Originally gave it a 2/5 but it got bumped to a 1/5 stars. If I could give it half a star I would.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 65 reviews

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