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Inbox Full of Crazy
Four years. Four cities. Four dating sites.
Gentlemen, get ready to go where no man has gone before. Inbox Full of Crazy takes you into the dark, secret realm of a woman’s online dating inbox. You want to know what you’re up against? Here are over 200 real messages from real men.
These funny, bizarre, and clueless messages range from good Christian men looking for blowjobs to polyamorists looking for another girlfriend to Nigerians hoping to marry their way into a greencard. You also get to spy on obscene messages from men who look like Santa after three years on meth, eye rollingly demeaning tactics used by Pick Up Artists, and the frothy anger of men who are sure they must be the last survivors of the robot apocalypse, because every woman out there is a bot.
Examples include:
FROM “WWJD...WITH HIS COCK?”
You need to be tamed. I have a couple young boys that are with me about 50% of the time. I prefer traditional roles in a relationship - I can lead if someone wants to follow (most women these days do not) - just being honest - one of my faults or positives depending on your view. I have opinions that you do not agree with - but you must be willing to at least let me express my opinion - its a mutual respect thing. I am one with Christ and you must convert to the one true way if we start to date. You must be willing to lose wait. Your sloth is a sin. Once you give yourself to Christ and submit to your man you will learn discipline and not want to eat into a grave anymore.
FROM “RANDOM WEIRDNESS”
Your standing in the frame of a window, your body silhouetted beneath the soft felt cloth that keeps my eyes from seeing all that l desire! A breeze flushes your clothing giving me a sent of what is to come. The power your posses over me is intoxicating. Your blouse is un-button down to your navel. Your breast tanned and exposed add to my desire to take you but l wont my self control back. You will have none of this you will take what you wont, when you wont it. Greece is where we have gone l have waited long for what you hold l will wait no more l will have you!——Stay toned——– If you like, write me back we will take this to the stars..
FROM “PERSISTENT POLYAMORISTS”
Sure you won’t talk? Hey! I know I've messaged you a couple of times.. thought I would try yet again because every time I read your profile I find something else I'm pretty sure we have in common. My wife says I’m a great catch.
You’ll find over 200 more messages like that plus plenty of geeky commentary inside Inbox Full of Crazy.
Ladies, don't let this discourage you from trying to find romance online. The vast majority of guys on dating sites are normal, well intentioned, slightly lonely men looking for a girlfriend. I've met some really great men online. This book isn't about them.
Gents, this is what you're up against. These guys are in the minority, but oh what a weird minority it is. No matter how hard it is for you to gather up enough courage to click send, remember compared to these guys you are automatically a winner. This book is guaranteed to make you feel refreshingly normal.
Gentlemen, get ready to go where no man has gone before. Inbox Full of Crazy takes you into the dark, secret realm of a woman’s online dating inbox. You want to know what you’re up against? Here are over 200 real messages from real men.
These funny, bizarre, and clueless messages range from good Christian men looking for blowjobs to polyamorists looking for another girlfriend to Nigerians hoping to marry their way into a greencard. You also get to spy on obscene messages from men who look like Santa after three years on meth, eye rollingly demeaning tactics used by Pick Up Artists, and the frothy anger of men who are sure they must be the last survivors of the robot apocalypse, because every woman out there is a bot.
Examples include:
FROM “WWJD...WITH HIS COCK?”
You need to be tamed. I have a couple young boys that are with me about 50% of the time. I prefer traditional roles in a relationship - I can lead if someone wants to follow (most women these days do not) - just being honest - one of my faults or positives depending on your view. I have opinions that you do not agree with - but you must be willing to at least let me express my opinion - its a mutual respect thing. I am one with Christ and you must convert to the one true way if we start to date. You must be willing to lose wait. Your sloth is a sin. Once you give yourself to Christ and submit to your man you will learn discipline and not want to eat into a grave anymore.
FROM “RANDOM WEIRDNESS”
Your standing in the frame of a window, your body silhouetted beneath the soft felt cloth that keeps my eyes from seeing all that l desire! A breeze flushes your clothing giving me a sent of what is to come. The power your posses over me is intoxicating. Your blouse is un-button down to your navel. Your breast tanned and exposed add to my desire to take you but l wont my self control back. You will have none of this you will take what you wont, when you wont it. Greece is where we have gone l have waited long for what you hold l will wait no more l will have you!——Stay toned——– If you like, write me back we will take this to the stars..
FROM “PERSISTENT POLYAMORISTS”
Sure you won’t talk? Hey! I know I've messaged you a couple of times.. thought I would try yet again because every time I read your profile I find something else I'm pretty sure we have in common. My wife says I’m a great catch.
You’ll find over 200 more messages like that plus plenty of geeky commentary inside Inbox Full of Crazy.
Ladies, don't let this discourage you from trying to find romance online. The vast majority of guys on dating sites are normal, well intentioned, slightly lonely men looking for a girlfriend. I've met some really great men online. This book isn't about them.
Gents, this is what you're up against. These guys are in the minority, but oh what a weird minority it is. No matter how hard it is for you to gather up enough courage to click send, remember compared to these guys you are automatically a winner. This book is guaranteed to make you feel refreshingly normal.
- GenresHumorNonfiction
103 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 14, 2012
1 person is currently reading
31 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
November 30, 2012
As a veteran online dater who ultimately met her husband online—but was forced to wade through piles of insane replies from scary and clueless dudes in order to finally find “The One”—I was immediately hooked by this book’s premise of “real men, real messages, real messed up.” Honestly, if I’d kept all the messages I received via PlentyOfFish, Match.com, Craigslist and OKCupid, I could have written this book myself. (I still remember the dude I dubbed “The Tooth Fairy,” who complimented my teeth in such an odd and off-putting manner that I was certain he wanted to meet me in a motel mainly so that he could spend our time together creating a necklace from my pearly whites.) Tragically, my own “inbox full of crazy” was all too depressing to me at the time, and I eventually deleted the missives, despite my belief that all of this was actually great research for a book of my own.
Chris-Rachael Oseland, on the other hand, has actually used her own emails in service of creating such a book, doing the dating world a huge favor by showing the men and women of online dating that no, you’re not the only ones getting these whackadoodles in your inbox. From the dudes who just don’t get it (asking for lunchtime BJs, getting angry about nonexistent foot photos) to the truly repulsive (dudes who look like Santa! creeps and weirdos galore!), there’s a little bit from every shade of the crazy spectrum here.
Although I’ve read similar books, where bitter women rant about how the only men who are available are like parking spots (i.e. handicapped), Oseland’s book distinguishes itself from the “life in the dating trenches” genre with one very smart move: she also includes some of the winners from her inbox. Not only does this help clue guys in on how it’s actually supposed to look when you email a lady whose profile you like, this also provides hope for women who might otherwise fear that there’s nothing in the Sea of Love but a bunch of dead fish, bloodthirsty sharks, and that weirdo talking about octopus hands.
I can definitely sympathize with the types of strange emails Oseland receives (although I must admit I never personally received any of the “WWJD… With His Cock?” variety), and applaud her ability to turn lemons into lemonade while also sticking to her guns when it comes to having high standards about her potential mates. While I would have also enjoyed being able to read the geeky profile(s) that attracted her anonymous missives, I definitely found her “henchmen” and “zombie apocalypse” profile responses refreshing, funny and genuine examples of how to do online dating right. After all, you’re never going to find “The One” by being just like everybody else.
Highly recommended for the lovelorn, the newly single, the chronically single, anyone who’s ever dated online, and people who think spelling and grammar just don’t matter!
Chris-Rachael Oseland, on the other hand, has actually used her own emails in service of creating such a book, doing the dating world a huge favor by showing the men and women of online dating that no, you’re not the only ones getting these whackadoodles in your inbox. From the dudes who just don’t get it (asking for lunchtime BJs, getting angry about nonexistent foot photos) to the truly repulsive (dudes who look like Santa! creeps and weirdos galore!), there’s a little bit from every shade of the crazy spectrum here.
Although I’ve read similar books, where bitter women rant about how the only men who are available are like parking spots (i.e. handicapped), Oseland’s book distinguishes itself from the “life in the dating trenches” genre with one very smart move: she also includes some of the winners from her inbox. Not only does this help clue guys in on how it’s actually supposed to look when you email a lady whose profile you like, this also provides hope for women who might otherwise fear that there’s nothing in the Sea of Love but a bunch of dead fish, bloodthirsty sharks, and that weirdo talking about octopus hands.
I can definitely sympathize with the types of strange emails Oseland receives (although I must admit I never personally received any of the “WWJD… With His Cock?” variety), and applaud her ability to turn lemons into lemonade while also sticking to her guns when it comes to having high standards about her potential mates. While I would have also enjoyed being able to read the geeky profile(s) that attracted her anonymous missives, I definitely found her “henchmen” and “zombie apocalypse” profile responses refreshing, funny and genuine examples of how to do online dating right. After all, you’re never going to find “The One” by being just like everybody else.
Highly recommended for the lovelorn, the newly single, the chronically single, anyone who’s ever dated online, and people who think spelling and grammar just don’t matter!
December 22, 2012
I might be too old and married for this book. All I could think of was, Thank Om I don't have to date!
The book is a collection of some of the more interesting/appalling emails Oseland has received over the years in response to her online personal ads. I can't say I've never done this (mostly in the pre-internet era) and I own up to meeting my best beloved on the internet, but Oh Em Gee!
The responses are sorted by category (the most head-banging one being the "WWJD ... with his cock?" chapter) and she prefaces each chapter with an explanation - or you couldn't really say she "wrote" this book. Fortunately, she concludes with examples of good responses so no woman gives up utterly.
I suppose you younger folk with iPhones constantly at your side and e-feelers out everywhere would be able to relate to the book. Men would, one could only hope, learn something about how to respond properly to a personal ad. Women will just read them dramatically to each other over pre-mixed mimosas and roll all over the floor. Me, I just sat there gobsmacked.
This book was a Kindle edition ... that was free. Maybe I should give it an extra star. Yeah, let it be Three.
The book is a collection of some of the more interesting/appalling emails Oseland has received over the years in response to her online personal ads. I can't say I've never done this (mostly in the pre-internet era) and I own up to meeting my best beloved on the internet, but Oh Em Gee!
The responses are sorted by category (the most head-banging one being the "WWJD ... with his cock?" chapter) and she prefaces each chapter with an explanation - or you couldn't really say she "wrote" this book. Fortunately, she concludes with examples of good responses so no woman gives up utterly.
I suppose you younger folk with iPhones constantly at your side and e-feelers out everywhere would be able to relate to the book. Men would, one could only hope, learn something about how to respond properly to a personal ad. Women will just read them dramatically to each other over pre-mixed mimosas and roll all over the floor. Me, I just sat there gobsmacked.
This book was a Kindle edition ... that was free. Maybe I should give it an extra star. Yeah, let it be Three.
May 4, 2013
The title says it all. It was both hilarious and creepy at the same time :/
August 2, 2013
Funny read, but if you're an online dater you only need to venture as far as your own inbox for strikingly similar messages.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews