Sensuous Magic: A Guide for Adventurous Lovers

by Patrick Califia

Renowned erotic pioneer Pat Califia provides this honest, unpretentious peek behind the mask of dominant/submissive sexualityan adventurous adult world of pleasure often obscured by ignorance and fear. With her trademark wit and insight, Califia demystifies the scene for the novice, explaining the terms and techniques behind many misunderstood sexual practices. The adventurous (or just curious) lover won't want to miss this volume.

Genres: BDSM, Sexuality, Nonfiction, Erotica, Gender and Sexuality, LGBT, Self Help

304 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 1993

About the author

Patrick Califia, who formerly wrote under the names Pat Califia and Patrick Califia-Rice, is a writer of nonfiction (on men, gender, transgender identity, and sexuality) and fiction (erotica, poetry, and short stories).

Reviews

[Agnieszka · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a review of the updated version. I understand the first version was a lot more focused on het couples. Although this isn't primarily a book about leather scene history in San Francisco, you get to learn a lot about it on the way. Maybe all this great queer stuff wasn't there in the first edition.

A couple of things make this book stand out in a world of sex and BDSM advice books and tech manuals. First, the writing. It's really good! A lot of books about sex, in an attempt to be not salacious, get really dry and medical. Calfia manages to write about sex in a way that's both colloquial and informative, and yes, sexy. The little bits of erotica at the end of each chapter that demonstrate what has been discussed are erotic (except for a couple that were really not my kink, even in fiction so YMMV) and represent a delightful sampling of sexual orientations. (Very much not just het monogamy).

Second, this book is very insightful about the psychological side of BDSM. Lots of manuals tell you in detail how to perform some technical thing. This one talks about the emotional.

[Ellie]

A well constructed introduction to BDSM that may be too much for the true novice - I know I certainly got nervous whenever the subject of blood was brought up. Nonetheless, the author makes a strong attempt to quell fears.

An especially nice touch was the addition of short stories describing scenes at the end of each chapter, featuring a variety of activities and gender combination. Probably the only thing bad about this book is that the number of these stories begin to dwindle as the book progresses, to the point where some of the last chapters have no short stories at all. Which is a shame, because they will be many readers favorite part of the book.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

A decent summary of BDSM culture and practices by Pat Califia (the author was female-identified when my edition was published in the late 90s, though they are now male-identified and go by Patrick). Oddly hetero-oriented, given who the author is, though certainly other sexualities are addressed as well. Very safety-first, for which I give it an A++. Short on fantasy, long on practicality, which I find rather refreshing.

[Sheryl · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very practical, no funnystuff guide aimed primarily at hetero couples interested in first time S/M exploration.
I can't say that it was "instructional" for me (except for the caution against whipping someone along the spine...that really sunk in!) but Pat/rick's style is so enjoyable that I will read almost anything with interest.

[Kal Cobalt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Out of all the BDSM stuff out there, I really only ever recommend two books to relative newcomers. This is the one I loan out for people who need more information than basic physical stuff -- who want to know more about the "why" of BDSM and how it works in a larger context. I can't imagine a better introduction to the field.

[Jeanette]

I bought this when I first was introduced to S/M and Pat Califia. I read it when I get in the mood, and I love it. Very informative and well- its by Pat Califia!

[Think-On-It]

If you'd like to know what I thought of this book, please contact me directly and I'd be happy to discuss it with you.

All the best,

- TB

[Annamarie · Rating 3 out of 5]

A bit outdated now, but a good basic guide. To be honest, I mostly skimmed this one as I've read so many "101" books by now!

[Corinne Natasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read it for the academic ideas and porn, not for technique.

[Sylvie · Rating 5 out of 5]

good read, took my time so i could absorb the info

[J Crossley · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book provides ideas and scenarios to spice up your BDSM play.

[Avory Faucette · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a classic, but I found it very up-and-down. There's a lot of domism in this book. While there are a lot of gay and lesbian examples in this edition, it still doesn't feel like much is being queered. On the other hand, the practical information is solid. I think the audience for this book would be folks who are new to the topic and intrigued but not yet sure of themselves, particularly D-types (there isn't much information for s-types beyond surface level). The author provides practical advice alongside fantasy scenarios to inspire the reader, but those all have a certain slant I can't quite put my finger on.

[Marcelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Didático e esclarecedor

[Renee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wildly dated in some ways and prescient in others, it's a fascinating look back at the leather scene right at the moment that S/M stopped being listed in the DSM as a disorder, but before any healing had taken place for survivors of the toll AIDS took on the community. Worth the read, if only for that.

There's also solid beginner info, some decent whip and penetration advice, and a great deal of safer sex instruction. Like I said, a real monument to its time.