The Gender Binary Is a Big Lie: Infinite Identities around the World

Queer History Project

by Lee Wind

Author Lee Wind takes the reader on a journey around the world and through history to debunk the idea of a gender binary―including 4,500-year-old third-gender burial sites in the Czech Republic; the Bugis people of southern Sulawesi, Indonesia, who recognize three physical sexes and five genders; and people who identify as gender queer and gender fluid today. Using primary source materials including images of featured historical figures, Wind presents a multi-gender reality that is deeply rooted in history.

Genres: Nonfiction, LGBT, Queer, History, Social Issues

312 pages, Paperback

Published August 6, 2024

About the author

Lee Wind is the founding blogger and publisher of I’m Here. I’m Queer. What The Hell Do I Read?, an award-winning website about books, culture, and empowerment for Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans, Questioning, and Queer youth, and their Allies. For over 10 years, readers from 100-plus countries have racked up 2.5 million page views—and counting!
In his “Clark Kent” jobs, Lee is the director of marketing and programming at the Independent Book Publishers Association and the official blogger for the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators. His Superhero job is writing, inspired by our world’s amazing—and untold—LGBTQ history.
Lee lives in Los Angeles with his husband and their teenage daughter. Queer as a Five-Dollar Bill is his debut novel. Visit him online at www.leewind.org

Reviews

[Jaelynn · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF at 40%.

I really tried to read this book in its entirety, but I just couldn't do it. Several parts were well written, but ultimately it is clear that the author of this book had very little real knowledge of what it is to be outside of the gender binary, and the whole book is ruined by poor research methods and many unfounded and problematic conjectures on the part of the author. As someone who has spent years in the queer community, has explored their own gender, and is friends with many trans and nonbinary individuals, there were too many moments in this book that made me uncomfortable, and I eventually had to give up on it. The examples of gender expression in history, in particular, was very off. While the book makes a valid point that genders outside of the binary have existed in many cultures throughout time, including eunuchs and castrati as examples felt very, very off. Especially as it undermines a core fact of nonbinary and trans existence in that an individual's gender and a body's physical sex characteristics and/or hormones are not intrinsically linked?? While it started off fairly well, I was deeply distressed and disappointed by the direction this book ultimately took.

[Cass · Rating 1 out of 5]

I received this free arc from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

I was excited to read this book but must admit it's quite disappointing. As a trans person, I was a bit hesitant when I saw it was written by a cis person, as in my experience cis people writing about trans people tend to not know as much as they think they do. Sadly, this book may be another example of that.

The author makes several errors, including explaining how a particular pronoun works and failing to follow his own advice mentioned towards the beginning of the book on how to use respectful language. While it is acknowledged and most of these incidents are quotes, there are ways of editing that would still remain true to source material and the message.

Furthermore, there are several places that misgender trans people. Whether due to lack of knowledge on the individual or poor editing, this is not something that can be ignored. This includes Ho’onani, who the book refers to with they/them, though her teacher refers to with she/her. Having heard of her before, I looked her up and confirmed that she uses she/her. If Ho’onani uses they/them this does not appear to be public information. I found this information at the provided links:

https://chipublib.bibliocommons.com/v...

https://aplaceinthemiddle.org/blog/de...

There is also a section on eunuchs and castrati as nonbinary gender categories. To preface this, I am not any kind of historian, and cannot speak on if overall they count as genders, but the examples given for these categories often had no choice and were forced into this situation, and (again, as a trans person) it is pretty harmful to suggest that a person can be forced into a gender category. Quite honestly, I would go so far as to call these practices conversion therapy, given many of these subjects were essentially forced to change gender.

While small in the relative scheme of the book, I must also take a moment to note the section on reproductive rights, and calling it “women’s right to choose.” This book is literally about trans people, and mentions people who are not women who are also capable of getting pregnant. This is not just a women’s rights issue, and considering the subject of this book I must admit it is incredibly hurtful that the author leaves everyone who is not a woman but could be impacted out of it.

Overall, I must wonder if the author included any trans people in the writing process. This feels strongly like a book on gender identity written by a cis person for other cis people.

[Sam Fleagle · Rating 2 out of 5]

Flew through this little fella in a couple days. Gives very big ~big seller at airports~ book energy. Granted, I don’t think I’m the intended audience for this book it is pretty introductory to gender topics. I know humans love love love to put things in categories and this book tries to thread the needle between gender being an expansive spectrum of possibilities and putting labels on things to help a broader audience understand the subject matter better but it falls a little flat. I’m not sure how I feel about the idea presented of trans men and women occupying 3rd and 4th gender spaces? On one hand trans men are men and trans women are women, full stop. But if you exist in a place where you are trans but also want to be viewed as somewhere not on the binary spectrum go off, just felt weird to see 3rd and 4th gender spaces even brought up. Gender is a fuck and everyone is their own little star in the gender galaxy. I do realize to a lot of people having a defined gender can be extremely reaffirming and powerful for someone. But that’s not me! Imo, the push to label people and genders is to soothe people who don’t understand, or to aid people who want to oppress marginalized genders. Imma just be me over here.

P.S. it was colonialism that pushed the gender binary the whole time, who would’ve guessed?

P.P.S look up sunfish genders those guys are next level with the sauce

[Bargain Sleuth Book Reviews · Rating 2 out of 5]

For this and other book reviews, visit www.bargain-sleuth.com and subscribe to my email newsletter!

Thanks to Zest Books and Net Galley for the digital copy of this book; I am leaving this review voluntarily.

For a book geared towards the YA crowd, this book is surprisingly dense. I wanted to read it because a teen I know is non-binary and wanted to learn more. The book does a good job of showing how, throughout history, and in many different cultures, the idea of two genders was not a thing. It’s mainly a construct of domineering colonial powers, most of whom wiped out anyone in their path that didn’t fit THEIR gender norms. This definitely reads like a textbook, though, so I’m not sure the target audience, young adults, will slog through a very academic book.

However, my main complaint is that this book was written by someone who is not a nonbinary person. I realize that authors can research and write about subjects that they’ve learned about, but I would rather have someone who has LIVED it to write about the topic. It is because of that reason that I will not be recommending this book to my nonbinary teen.

[bookishlyeverafter__ · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very relevant book in this time and age, especially with so many people wanted to make the gender binary political and deny the rights of trans people.

I was surprised by how insightful this book was! I had no idea that there were ethnic groups in Indonesia that recognized three genders. I also did not know this about Indigenous cultures. The book pulls a lot of examples of how multiple ethnic groups recognized genders beyond gender binary, such as the Hijras in India and Pakistan, First Nation People in Australia, and the Mahus of Hawaiian and Tahitian cultures. The author also uses news stories and ancient burial sites as resources to explore gender identities and the roles different genders played in different societies and cultures.

Additionally, although I am not religious myself, I've seen countless people using it in order to condemn the LGBTQ+ community. It was refreshing to see it as a tool of empowerment of gender diversity instead of a tool of criticism.

[Holly · Rating 5 out of 5]

A powerful, clear-eyed exploration of how the gender binary is a recent invention—not a timeless truth. Lee Wind blends history, personal insight, and compassion to show that gender diversity has always existed. This book is affirming, accessible, and essential reading for anyone ready to question what they’ve been taught and embrace a fuller, more inclusive view of humanity.

[Mel · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really well done and approachable introduction to deconstructing the gender binary. It’s a great place to start for people wanting to learn about gender diverse identities, and also has some good history and inspiration for gender nonconforming readers. Definitely recommend!

[Melissa Gilbreth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really eye opening book about the history of different cultures around the world that see gender as much more than just male/female. I really appreciated the way the author defined the differences between gender and physical attraction completely separately as well. Very good YA non-fiction book!

[Joanna Flournoy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This isn't just for scholars or activists - it's for everyone. Before claiming to understand gender, read this. It challenges, enlightens, and grows your empathy. Every human should read this before they think they understand

[Kat · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have a lot of feelings about this book some good some bad. I would have preferred it been own voices, the author self identifies as a cisgender gay guy, and therefore it isn't own voices. I also understand he is Jewish but I wish there had been more about Two Spirit and Indigenous peoples vs. major religions like Judaism and Buddhism.

I also think there's a few places an extra sensitivity reader could have helped because he writes "you shouldn't use these terms" but goes on to use them not in quotes but actually use them instead of a better alternative.

I will say that I thought he did a lot of good research and was one of the best accounts including intersex I have read written by a non-intersex person. Overall I think it's a good reference, I just wish he'd have had a gender non-conforming co-author or considered adding a few extra accounts of non-main stream gender nonconformity.

He needed to do better about pronouns and racism in the book. It could have used another edit and more sensitivity readers. I understand using direct quotes has constraints but also pronouns etc weren't handled as well as they should have been.

It uses women instead of people who can have babies repeatedly and there's a lot of transphobic missteps, including adding groups of people who weren't able to choose their gender and had non-conformity pushed on them. That's not what gender non-conformity means.

[Corinne · Rating 3 out of 5]

*NetGalley ARC*
Lee Wind’s “Gender Binary is a Lie” book is important, so I want to preface that even though my rating is a 3, I still think more books like this need to be written and published.

I really appreciated that this was a book that compiled information all around the world and gave so many sources for people to continue to research and learn. I would call this like an appetizer to this topic to help people who know little about the gender binary and its existence. The chapter I thought was the most interesting, clear, and informative was “Intersex Activism.” I think it’s so crucial for people to know the modern issues still at play with that topic.

The main issues I have with the novel is the age it’s being advertised. Not because I don’t think young people shouldn’t learn this, but it’s a pretty dense book even as an appetizer. I think that the writing would need to be more simplified for this to appeal to a younger audience.
I do think some of the chapters and the writing needs to be relooked at. Sometimes it’s really clear, and other times it feels like a little sluggish.
The other issue I had was with the eunch chapter. I think that some addition could add nuance to it. It just felt as if it wasn’t being addressed about how it was forced on some people and some kind of discussion on forced gender identity. Even if the times “didn’t see it” as forcing a person into a gender, this still seems as a good historical moment to show that people have been forced into gender boxes for a while as well.

Overall, I think this a great educational novel.

#NetGalleyARC

[Cynthia Parkhill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Among this year's prompts for the Book Riot Read Harder Challenge, #16 stated, "Read a book based solely on the title." The Gender Binary Is a Big Lie was that book for me. The title offers an excellent summation that immediately positions it as an alternative to the narrative that everyone must fit into one of only two socially-imposed gender identities. This narrative is vital and compellingly attractive to a reader like me, someone who has always known myself to fit outside the gender binary.

Older relatives tried to push gender expectations onto me, but I never felt like the "girl" they insisted I had to act like. I wasn't a boy either, and always felt myself to be androgynous. Being unable to live up to these relatives' expectations made me feel like a failure. It's only been recently that identities like "nonbinary," "genderqueer," etc., have entered our cultural vocabulary and I'm so grateful to finally have words with which to express this aspect of who I am.

[A.D. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Though this is written by a cis Jewish-American gay man, I feel the author made a sincere attempt to represent gender throughout the world and its history. Any person falling outside of the gender binary could be considered gender-diverse today, and Wind attempted to share as many categories as possible.

The section on intersex persons was well-written. However, given the audience for this book, Wind should have spent more time exploring pronouns, neopronouns, and other ways of referring to a person outside of English. There was one reference to Latine (as opposed to Latina/Latino/Latinx), but this went unexplained.

For queer youth, I feel a greater exploration between stories and gender would have lifted the book above and beyond similar texts. Many queer authors shy away from discussing how media, mythology, and fiction influence gender, which I personally feel is a major component to many people's identities.

[Jordan Henry · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall I really appreciated the historical research that I was introduced to in this book. Several communities I had never heard about or been exposed too. That being said, the author opens up the book citing that he is gay, cis, Jewish man (…like me) and felt that this toooc needed to be explored. One of my biggest concerns about how information is presented in this book is that an overwhelming majority of the communities presented perhaps “others” gay men, with no true findings for alternate gender expressions. For example, eunuchs are mentioned along with castrati. This was a gross, horrible practice of genital mutilation, not intersex expression as the receiver typically didn’t have a choice.

Again, this can serve as a great conversation starter, but should be paired with other texts that reflect the authentic expression of transgender and intersex people.

[Christine LaBatt · Rating 3 out of 5]

A look into various gender identities throughout history that break from the norm of the gender binary. The first chapter explores more the idea of gender binary and then the rest dive into the history of cultures that have identities that don't fit the binary.

Overall, I liked this. It was a lot more dense than expected (Even for me who is a historian by training), which made me question who the audience was, as there were also little helpful blurbs with definitions, etc. The material overall felt more late teen, but these side things made it feel like more middle school. level. I did like how many identities and profiles were covered though.

I received my copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Jasmine Shouse · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars

An interesting look at going outside the gender binary throughout history.

This is written at a really accessible level and goes over various cultures and times when additional genders were present. I appreciated the depth of research that was done and how the author calls himself out for his own preconceptions and how this is written through his own cis lens. Even so, this is a valuable contribution to queer history, and I learned quite about about other cultures and how gender has tied to colonialism.

Thank you to NetGalley and publisher for the opportunity to read and review.

[Alicia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oh Wind needs to get out of their own way. The book does a lot of historical and religious contextualizing about identities around the world and that is super helpful in the same way Queer Ducks did it for the animal kingdom, however the amount of *stuff* on each page is wholly distracting to the content. There are text features, bold sentences, words popping out in various spots, personal commentary, etc. and it's all just too much for the book- it overwhelms the content.

Useful to a degree but I got exhausted by the amount of information being thrown at me. I didn't know where to look, what to read next, or how to ingest it all.

[Erica Baxter · Rating 4 out of 5]

What an enlightening read! Extremely informative and encompassing. This book is a solid foundation for learning about the many different genders—the past and the present of gender roles and labeling within various social structures. Lots of research and science, but everything is presented clearly. There are even notations in the margins that help further clarify some of the more complex ideas.

It is important to note that this is a scholarly examination of gender, with the feel of an academic textbook—slow, but educational.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Since the beginning of recorded time, people have identified with multiple genders apart from only male/female. This book shares the history of gender in various cultures around the world. It's a journey through history and is packed with stories and facts. I definitely enjoyed learning!
As a cis person, I think it's strange that a cis person writes about gender - I would like to see a book written by a multi-gender person, and the author agrees. However, I am grateful for this resource. As the author states, this is a book that needs to be written.

[Martha Meyer · Rating 4 out of 5]

So glad to have read this book. I really loved learning about the trans experience in other cultures, particularly medieval Judaism. I wasn't aware of some of the author's contemporary missteps documented in other comments, because I am just beginning to educate myself and was grateful to learn a lot and not feel judged by the text. This book gives me support for understanding the joy of someone discovering they are trans!

[Cam · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title of this book is misleading. The book itself is an interesting and age-appropriate biography of various people or cultures that do not fit into the gender binary. The title is combative and paints the work in a negative light, effectively placing a target on it. This may be what the creators or publishers intended, but it will be a shame if it means fewer copies find their way into the hands of kids curious about gender or culture.

[Michaela · Rating 3 out of 5]

There’s a lot to learn from this book, but the framing is odd. I think it’s title should have been something like “The Rainbow/Spectrum of Gender and Sex.” It talks about sex nearly as much as it does gender. It also focuses heavily on those assigned Male at birth. A decent book but one that doesn’t quite match its purpose.

[Caitlyn Price · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is an example of impact vs intent. I think that Wind went in with good intentions but didn't arm himself with the research needed to write this without the potential to do harm. His continued focus on biological sex and use of male/female was painful to listen to, and everything about this felt surface level and just fell flat.

[Dominic · Rating 3 out of 5]

Definitely a strong 3.5. i don't think i was the target audience for this book. it was a skotch dry and didactic; could have used a bit more personality (which finally came out in the conclusion, thanks Lee) for my taste. but lots of good and interesting information. the plight of the intersex makes me so angry...

[Theresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an amazing book! It centers the non binary people of indigenous heritage and explains complicated terms. Points out the bias of historical accounts and how primary sources are not always the truth. Excellent!

[Sarah Bauer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Learning about the different gender roles that exist outside the binary around the world and throughout history was really interesting, but I have very mixed feelings about the uncritical inclusion of eunuchs and castrati.

[Zoë · Rating 1 out of 5]

As a trans Ph.D. student, this book may have had some potential if it were under the supervision of a trans researcher. Additionally, the author spews biological essentialism. Thus, I would grant it a rating of 0/5 stars.

[haven ⋄ f (hiatus) · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 / review to come...

[Megan · Rating 1 out of 5]

Unfortunately this read like a boring textbook and made me think of college. DNF