Parenting Your Adult Child: How You Can Help Them Achieve Their Full Potential

by Gary Chapman, Ross Campbell MD, Ross Campbell M.D.

More than 10 years after Parenting Your Adult Child was published, much has changed - including young adults themselves, as well as their parents. Economic upheavals, challenges to traditional values and beliefs, the phenomenon of over-involved "helicopter parenting" - all make relating to grown children more difficult than ever. Yet at the same time, being a parent of an adult child can bring great rewards. This revised and updated version of Dr. Gary Chapman's and Dr. Ross Campbell's message will help today's parents explore how to really love their adult child in today's changing world. The book includes brief sidebars from parents of adult children and adult children themselves with their own stories. An online study guide will also be available.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Christian

192 pages, Paperback

First published January 11, 1999

About the author

Gary Demonte Chapman is an American author and radio talk show host. Chapman is most noted for his The Five Love Languages series regarding human relationships.

Reviews

[Tom Brennan · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was a rather large disappointment. I have read Chapman's The Five Love Languages and found it helpful. This book I have read and found largely full of fluff. Story after story was spun to illustrate various points, but the stories have to be more than half of the book. And each one is fake. What I mean is that in each one the situation in question is neatly and simply resolved. Which leads to my larger problem with the book. Yes, it is dated, which is bad, but worse, it is simplistic. Be nice. Love your children. Go to counseling. And it will all work out nicely. That is just not real life. It isn't how problems manifest in real life nor how they are solved. Real life is messy and complicated. This book is tidy and simplistic.

It wasn't a total loss. I did pull a handful of thoughts from it. But at the end, I was not much smarter than when I started, but I was more frustrated. More frustrated because this should have been a good book. And it wasn't.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although this book was published in 1999 and refers to Gen X, the principles are still very relevant and helpful! The authors (Campbell and Chapman) discuss how to effectively communicate with adult children especially when you disagree with the direction or choices they're making. Here are some topics covered:

What do you do with adult children who refuse to "grow up" and leave the nest?
How do you handle adult children who come home after being out?

Becoming an inlaw and grandparent
Meeting your own needs

What if your children choose an alternative lifestyle or reject your faith? Religious beliefs must be left to the young adult. Parents can influence but cannot control.

How do you pass a legacy (moral, spiritual, emotional, financial, memory legacy, and prayer legacy)?

[Ada · Rating 5 out of 5]

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE. I LEARNED ALOT AND AM GOING TO EXERCISE SOME OF THE INFO GIVEN.

[Diane Eskridge · Rating 2 out of 5]

Most of the situations in the book did not apply to our situation therefore that low rating for my perspective.

[Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

This excellent book covers all aspects of relating to adult children. For instance, it describes problems with children in their twenties who drift, never leaving home; or who don't want independence; or who treat their parents as doormats.

I don't have any of those problems, but still found it very interesting in understanding better how younger people think, and why the traditional model of the empty nest is no longer so appropriate. There was advice in dealing with behaviour problems, with boyfriends/girlfriends, with in-laws, with money... and one about what we leave our children as legacies, not just financial but moral and spiritual too.

The book is very well written, with anecdotes and clear advice. My only quibble was that on almost every page was a suggestion about going to counselling to resolve problems - but for some that may, of course, be appropriate.

All in all, highly recommended to anyone with adult (or nearly adult) children, particularly if you are having any problems with them. Written from a Judaeo-Christian perspective, but relevant to anyone.

[Joyce · Rating 3 out of 5]

Helpful. Alsotry Stormy O'Martian's Power of praying for your Young Adult Children. There is a workbook to go with it. Very good.

[Jan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wish this had been around a few years ago (maybe it was and I never noticed). My kids are beyond the "young adult" stage, but principles are still very good.