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Packaging Girlhood: Rescuing Our Daughters from Marketers' Schemes
The stereotype-laden message, delivered through clothes, music, books, and TV, is essentially a continuous plea for girls to put their energies into beauty products, shopping, fashion, and boys. This constant marketing, cheapening of relationships, absence of good women role models, and stereotyping and sexualization of girls is something that parents need to first understand before they can take action.
Lamb and Brown teach parents how to understand these influences, give them guidance on how to talk to their daughters about these negative images, and provide the tools to help girls make positive choices about the way they are in the world.
In the tradition of books like Reviving Ophelia, Odd Girl Out, Queen Bees and Wannabees that examine the world of girls, this book promises to not only spark debate but help parents to help their daughters.
Lamb and Brown teach parents how to understand these influences, give them guidance on how to talk to their daughters about these negative images, and provide the tools to help girls make positive choices about the way they are in the world.
In the tradition of books like Reviving Ophelia, Odd Girl Out, Queen Bees and Wannabees that examine the world of girls, this book promises to not only spark debate but help parents to help their daughters.
336 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2006
17 people are currently reading
1553 people want to read
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May 10, 2011
While I agree to some extent with the authors’ diagnosis (marketers are sending wrong and/or limited messages to girls; there’s too much rubbish in popular culture; available clothes are too skanky; media puts girls into limited and stereotypical categories), I can’t say I got much out of their prescription. A condensed version of my concerns appears in my article Are Pink Things and Princesses Oppressing Our Girls? And Are Marketers Maliciously Molding Their Minds?, but I go into more (and more personal) detail here.
Again and again, the authors seemed to suggest that the one thing you can’t do is simply say “no,” and the other thing you can’t do is ever draw attention to the fact that others will judge your daughter by what she wears or by how she comports herself. That would just be encouraging conformity at a time “we are often trying to encourage our daughters to deemphasize what others think.” Well, from my perspective, it depends who the others are and what they think and why they think it. I’d like my daughter to be conscious of the messages she sends while at the same time having firm values she holds onto despite the shifting winds of opinion. I’d like her to seek out friends and mentors worthy of respect and to consider their opinions.
I know you cannot escape media and commercialism (a point the authors emphasize), but you can certainly limit it with family living choices, and sometimes that requires just saying no. The solution for the authors is always dialogue, and while I think it is a grand idea to talk to my children, I also think it’s a grand idea to make countercultural choices as well (such as not having commercial television reception in the home and only watching select shows and DVDs), and quite alright to say thing like, “Under no circumstance will you wear that miniskirt to school.” So, for example, when the author talks about “R rated horror movies that middle school girls watch,” I find myself thinking – how about I simply don’t allow my 12-year-old girl to watch R rated horror movies? Wouldn’t that be so much easier than letting her watch it followed by forcing her to participate in an at-home Woman’s Studies class that analyzes how it belittles women? Because here’s what I’ve noticed thus far– after watching a film like Disney’s Tangled, my daughter wants to go outside and ride her bike. She doesn’t want to answer questions such as, “Does there have to be a girl-meets-boy romantic ending? Can you think of another happily-ever-after scenario?” And, frankly, I don’t want to spend my time “pointing out the maleness of the pop music industry.” I’d rather spend it listening to Bob Dylan and Van Morrison.
The authors oppose dress codes, which are, in my opinion, a tool that would help to prevent several of the problems they describe. Why do they oppose them? Because dress codes institute “a narrow, often white and middle class version of appropriate attire for all kids.” Instead of, say, a poor white trash or gangbanger version of appropriate attire. Because we don’t want our kids to aspire to be middle-class professionals. We’d rather they aspire to the Jerry Springer show or the jail cell. And only white people think modest and/or professional attire is appropriate. That’s why you would never see Barak Obama in a suit or tie. Yes, I agree that dress codes can be too vague or arbitrary, but they’re a start. The flaws in dress codes are why uniforms are an even better solution than dress codes. As predictably as they oppose dress codes, the authors oppose abstinence education in the schools.
Though in some respects not as extreme as other books in the sky-is-falling-on-our-girls genre (the authors even point out some of the media exaggerations with regard to girls and sex), the authors still give too much credit to media for choices that are probably equally influenced (or even more influenced) by things such as innate gender preferences, subculture, socioeconomic status, and parental discipline (or lack thereof).
Innate preference is the most ignored contributor. The concept of supply and demand is lost. These sociologists seem hung up on the idea that supply creates demand rather than vice versa. I’m sure there’s a little of each going on, but in a commercial society, demand will always ultimately have more influence than supply. It’s easier, from a commercial perspective, to respond to demand than to create it, though of course marketers will try their hand at both.
Let’s take the complaints about books as an example. Yes, there’s a disparity in the number of male and female characters. But let’s be honest - girls like to read about both girls and boys; boys like to read primarily about boys; and thus there is a wider audience for male characters, and so you will find more books with male characters. The authors also bemoan the types of books written for girls. “The message is clear: Girls love animals, especially horses.” Ummm…yeah, that message was clear before the books were written. That’s WHY the books were written. Not vice versa. Believe me – no one is asking my daughter to check out all of these horse books. There are plenty of non-horse books she could check out. Believe me, I have TRIED to steer her from tiresome Care Bears and horses her entire life. No one is making girl children like this stuff.
Some of the authors’ concerns frankly made me laugh out loud. They are worried about the fact that Mr. Boddy in the Clue game is male and the body in the Operation game is male. Yes, they are worried about lack of gender equality in BOARD GAMES. Could we maybe take a break and focus on genital mutilation or wife beating or something? I swear, if Clue had a woman who got murdered and Operation had a woman being operated on, Lamb and Brown would instead be writing - oh, so women are just dispensable now? We can just kill them off? Oh, so it’s okay for women to be naked and dissected on a table like an object?
Marketers do try to squeeze girls into molds. But so too do these authors. Girls shouldn’t wear skirts because they prohibit play. Colors have specific meanings – like red means brave and pink means, apparently, subservient to men. Tell that to my girl who’s crossing the monkey bars at break-neck speed in her pink skirt while beating the boys in a game of lava tag.
Here’s what I liked about the book: I appreciated the list of books and movies with strong female characters (and few stereotypes) and will likely use them. (Though I do think the authors don’t acknowledge that girls can gain just as much from strong male characters; that someone need not necessarily share our gender for us to relate to him and learn from him. Nevertheless, it's great for them to have strong female role models.) I also like that they focus on solutions involving parents rather than involving the government, as many of these books degenerate primarily into political cries for regulation.
Again and again, the authors seemed to suggest that the one thing you can’t do is simply say “no,” and the other thing you can’t do is ever draw attention to the fact that others will judge your daughter by what she wears or by how she comports herself. That would just be encouraging conformity at a time “we are often trying to encourage our daughters to deemphasize what others think.” Well, from my perspective, it depends who the others are and what they think and why they think it. I’d like my daughter to be conscious of the messages she sends while at the same time having firm values she holds onto despite the shifting winds of opinion. I’d like her to seek out friends and mentors worthy of respect and to consider their opinions.
I know you cannot escape media and commercialism (a point the authors emphasize), but you can certainly limit it with family living choices, and sometimes that requires just saying no. The solution for the authors is always dialogue, and while I think it is a grand idea to talk to my children, I also think it’s a grand idea to make countercultural choices as well (such as not having commercial television reception in the home and only watching select shows and DVDs), and quite alright to say thing like, “Under no circumstance will you wear that miniskirt to school.” So, for example, when the author talks about “R rated horror movies that middle school girls watch,” I find myself thinking – how about I simply don’t allow my 12-year-old girl to watch R rated horror movies? Wouldn’t that be so much easier than letting her watch it followed by forcing her to participate in an at-home Woman’s Studies class that analyzes how it belittles women? Because here’s what I’ve noticed thus far– after watching a film like Disney’s Tangled, my daughter wants to go outside and ride her bike. She doesn’t want to answer questions such as, “Does there have to be a girl-meets-boy romantic ending? Can you think of another happily-ever-after scenario?” And, frankly, I don’t want to spend my time “pointing out the maleness of the pop music industry.” I’d rather spend it listening to Bob Dylan and Van Morrison.
The authors oppose dress codes, which are, in my opinion, a tool that would help to prevent several of the problems they describe. Why do they oppose them? Because dress codes institute “a narrow, often white and middle class version of appropriate attire for all kids.” Instead of, say, a poor white trash or gangbanger version of appropriate attire. Because we don’t want our kids to aspire to be middle-class professionals. We’d rather they aspire to the Jerry Springer show or the jail cell. And only white people think modest and/or professional attire is appropriate. That’s why you would never see Barak Obama in a suit or tie. Yes, I agree that dress codes can be too vague or arbitrary, but they’re a start. The flaws in dress codes are why uniforms are an even better solution than dress codes. As predictably as they oppose dress codes, the authors oppose abstinence education in the schools.
Though in some respects not as extreme as other books in the sky-is-falling-on-our-girls genre (the authors even point out some of the media exaggerations with regard to girls and sex), the authors still give too much credit to media for choices that are probably equally influenced (or even more influenced) by things such as innate gender preferences, subculture, socioeconomic status, and parental discipline (or lack thereof).
Innate preference is the most ignored contributor. The concept of supply and demand is lost. These sociologists seem hung up on the idea that supply creates demand rather than vice versa. I’m sure there’s a little of each going on, but in a commercial society, demand will always ultimately have more influence than supply. It’s easier, from a commercial perspective, to respond to demand than to create it, though of course marketers will try their hand at both.
Let’s take the complaints about books as an example. Yes, there’s a disparity in the number of male and female characters. But let’s be honest - girls like to read about both girls and boys; boys like to read primarily about boys; and thus there is a wider audience for male characters, and so you will find more books with male characters. The authors also bemoan the types of books written for girls. “The message is clear: Girls love animals, especially horses.” Ummm…yeah, that message was clear before the books were written. That’s WHY the books were written. Not vice versa. Believe me – no one is asking my daughter to check out all of these horse books. There are plenty of non-horse books she could check out. Believe me, I have TRIED to steer her from tiresome Care Bears and horses her entire life. No one is making girl children like this stuff.
Some of the authors’ concerns frankly made me laugh out loud. They are worried about the fact that Mr. Boddy in the Clue game is male and the body in the Operation game is male. Yes, they are worried about lack of gender equality in BOARD GAMES. Could we maybe take a break and focus on genital mutilation or wife beating or something? I swear, if Clue had a woman who got murdered and Operation had a woman being operated on, Lamb and Brown would instead be writing - oh, so women are just dispensable now? We can just kill them off? Oh, so it’s okay for women to be naked and dissected on a table like an object?
Marketers do try to squeeze girls into molds. But so too do these authors. Girls shouldn’t wear skirts because they prohibit play. Colors have specific meanings – like red means brave and pink means, apparently, subservient to men. Tell that to my girl who’s crossing the monkey bars at break-neck speed in her pink skirt while beating the boys in a game of lava tag.
Here’s what I liked about the book: I appreciated the list of books and movies with strong female characters (and few stereotypes) and will likely use them. (Though I do think the authors don’t acknowledge that girls can gain just as much from strong male characters; that someone need not necessarily share our gender for us to relate to him and learn from him. Nevertheless, it's great for them to have strong female role models.) I also like that they focus on solutions involving parents rather than involving the government, as many of these books degenerate primarily into political cries for regulation.
December 31, 2009
The stars for this book don’t really have to do with the fact that I liked the book. I really disliked reading it, but found the information within compelling enough to recommend reading it.
The authors of this book do a masterful job of showing the twisted path of marketing that molds, manipulates and addicts girls to a limited set of stereotypical images. They look at clothes and fashion, movies and TV programs, books and magazines, sports and hobbies. And in all of these areas, the terrible images of diva / boy crazy / shopper are revealed to be demeaning and frightening.
There is an almost overwhelming amount of information in the book. And slogging through it all is depressing beyond words. However, a few examples are worth sharing. First example, "immersive advertising" via Neopets in the section on "Wanna Play? What Girls Do". From the book, pages 246- 247, "Netopets are cyber beings that live in an evolving mythical land called Neopia. Kids from around the world are invited into the free site to create and then care for their virtual pets, while a team of webmasters update the goings-on daily. Hugely popular, it has been the number one site for preteens; 39 percent of their visitors are twelve and younger , and nearly 60 percent are female -- a very high percentage for a computer game. In talk with parents and girls about Neopets, we heard that it's innocent fun in the too-often racy world of gaming. Parents like that girls are choosing something interactive and creative rather than IMing their friends.
DON'T BE FOOLED. (my emphasis) There is nothing innocent here. Neopets is actually a sophisticated marketing scheme disguised as virtual pet care. The object of the game is to gain Neopoints by playing product-placement games or watching commercials and movie trailers and visiting the Web sites of their sponsors. You can buy food for your pet (such as McDonald's fries; no wonder McDonald's Happy Melas toys in the summer of 2004 were Neopets) and then keep its teeth from falling out with a Crest spinbrush. The company is unabashedly gleeful about using 'immersive advertising', which is an 'evolutionary step forward in the traditional marketing practice of product placement.' Immersive advertising, according to the company's site, 'incorporates the advertiser's brand, service and/or message directly into entertaining site content, thereby creating brand affinity with site members.'
Immersive advertising is extremely powerful because kids connect emotionally with their Neopets. .... they bond with pets by playing, feeding, and grooming them, as well as entering them in beauty and other contests, all the while using well-placed products to ensure the pet's health and well-being. .... Products alleviate pets' discomfort, and this affects kids' feelings about the product. Marketers use their entire bag of tricks within this virtual world: They place products strategically, and they make needed products scarce. Pet owners then want them more, and barter and trade for them, building a desire that overflows the game and translates into the real world of 'pester power' -- using kids to influence what their parents buy. " (end of quote from the book)
This is not innocent play for children. If you enter into this world thinking child psychologists who love children and who love your child in particular have crafted this virtual world for the better education of your child, then you need to do your homework! For example, read http://electronics.howstuffworks.com/... for some information about how Neopets began and how it makes its money and what its goals are.
Second example, "cata-novels" in the section "Reading Between the Lines: What Girls Read". A cata-novel is a catalog and novel combined. American Girl introduced books that show a new outfit or accessories worn or used by the characters in their book. Limited Too has taken this concept and ramped it up in producing catalogs for Limited Too products and events disguised as novels. From the book, page 177, "The store's name is mentioned in every other chapter, and most important, the action of the novels takes place in the stores or at a Limited Too event. The lead girl and her friends become consultants to Limited Too, and by doing so we get a behind-the-scenes look at how interested the company is in girls and how much it cares." Continuing, "Limited Too products appear on page after page of these books; pillos, frames, hats, sunglasses, charm bracelets -- any kind of merchandise gets worked into the story and never rejected."
This again is not innocent reading for children. It is purposeful and planned manipulation thinly disguised as encouraging reading. These are but two examples of many many contained in the book.
The writing of the book is not great. The authors have a fairly clear feminist agenda and seem to think that learning to be a loving mother and nurturing your children is less important (and even worse, a stereotype you should avoid) than expressing your own version of femininity. I disagree wholeheartedly with this. So, read this book with some big grains of salt. But do read it. It is worth knowing what is out there that perhaps you didn't know about.
The authors also seem to think that girls will inevitably be caught up into all of these manipulations and the only solution is to walk beside them as they are manipulated and try to maintain open communication. While I can understand this if the girls have been left to their own devices in terms of clothes shopping, movie viewing, and peer influence, I don’t think it is inevitable that little girls MUST be manipulated into diva / boy crazy / shopper stereotypes. As parents, we can do a GREAT deal and it involves prevention and exposure to true types. Little girls who are 5 and 6 don't have money of their own to spend on thong underwear. This is where the parent needs to BE the parent and make adult decisions. Say no to clothes like this, and teach your child that you are going to say no to this type of junk! Expose your children to real people who do interesting things. Learn to do interesting things yourself, perhaps, and that will encourage your daughter to want to do them as well!!!
Maybe this book is a wakeup call for parents to really parent and not be a child's best buddy. Children need wise direction so they can grow up to become wise and loving adults. This book has information that will help identify those unwise areas that children should be guided away from.
The authors of this book do a masterful job of showing the twisted path of marketing that molds, manipulates and addicts girls to a limited set of stereotypical images. They look at clothes and fashion, movies and TV programs, books and magazines, sports and hobbies. And in all of these areas, the terrible images of diva / boy crazy / shopper are revealed to be demeaning and frightening.
There is an almost overwhelming amount of information in the book. And slogging through it all is depressing beyond words. However, a few examples are worth sharing. First example, "immersive advertising" via Neopets in the section on "Wanna Play? What Girls Do". From the book, pages 246- 247, "Netopets are cyber beings that live in an evolving mythical land called Neopia. Kids from around the world are invited into the free site to create and then care for their virtual pets, while a team of webmasters update the goings-on daily. Hugely popular, it has been the number one site for preteens; 39 percent of their visitors are twelve and younger , and nearly 60 percent are female -- a very high percentage for a computer game. In talk with parents and girls about Neopets, we heard that it's innocent fun in the too-often racy world of gaming. Parents like that girls are choosing something interactive and creative rather than IMing their friends.
DON'T BE FOOLED. (my emphasis) There is nothing innocent here. Neopets is actually a sophisticated marketing scheme disguised as virtual pet care. The object of the game is to gain Neopoints by playing product-placement games or watching commercials and movie trailers and visiting the Web sites of their sponsors. You can buy food for your pet (such as McDonald's fries; no wonder McDonald's Happy Melas toys in the summer of 2004 were Neopets) and then keep its teeth from falling out with a Crest spinbrush. The company is unabashedly gleeful about using 'immersive advertising', which is an 'evolutionary step forward in the traditional marketing practice of product placement.' Immersive advertising, according to the company's site, 'incorporates the advertiser's brand, service and/or message directly into entertaining site content, thereby creating brand affinity with site members.'
Immersive advertising is extremely powerful because kids connect emotionally with their Neopets. .... they bond with pets by playing, feeding, and grooming them, as well as entering them in beauty and other contests, all the while using well-placed products to ensure the pet's health and well-being. .... Products alleviate pets' discomfort, and this affects kids' feelings about the product. Marketers use their entire bag of tricks within this virtual world: They place products strategically, and they make needed products scarce. Pet owners then want them more, and barter and trade for them, building a desire that overflows the game and translates into the real world of 'pester power' -- using kids to influence what their parents buy. " (end of quote from the book)
This is not innocent play for children. If you enter into this world thinking child psychologists who love children and who love your child in particular have crafted this virtual world for the better education of your child, then you need to do your homework! For example, read http://electronics.howstuffworks.com/... for some information about how Neopets began and how it makes its money and what its goals are.
Second example, "cata-novels" in the section "Reading Between the Lines: What Girls Read". A cata-novel is a catalog and novel combined. American Girl introduced books that show a new outfit or accessories worn or used by the characters in their book. Limited Too has taken this concept and ramped it up in producing catalogs for Limited Too products and events disguised as novels. From the book, page 177, "The store's name is mentioned in every other chapter, and most important, the action of the novels takes place in the stores or at a Limited Too event. The lead girl and her friends become consultants to Limited Too, and by doing so we get a behind-the-scenes look at how interested the company is in girls and how much it cares." Continuing, "Limited Too products appear on page after page of these books; pillos, frames, hats, sunglasses, charm bracelets -- any kind of merchandise gets worked into the story and never rejected."
This again is not innocent reading for children. It is purposeful and planned manipulation thinly disguised as encouraging reading. These are but two examples of many many contained in the book.
The writing of the book is not great. The authors have a fairly clear feminist agenda and seem to think that learning to be a loving mother and nurturing your children is less important (and even worse, a stereotype you should avoid) than expressing your own version of femininity. I disagree wholeheartedly with this. So, read this book with some big grains of salt. But do read it. It is worth knowing what is out there that perhaps you didn't know about.
The authors also seem to think that girls will inevitably be caught up into all of these manipulations and the only solution is to walk beside them as they are manipulated and try to maintain open communication. While I can understand this if the girls have been left to their own devices in terms of clothes shopping, movie viewing, and peer influence, I don’t think it is inevitable that little girls MUST be manipulated into diva / boy crazy / shopper stereotypes. As parents, we can do a GREAT deal and it involves prevention and exposure to true types. Little girls who are 5 and 6 don't have money of their own to spend on thong underwear. This is where the parent needs to BE the parent and make adult decisions. Say no to clothes like this, and teach your child that you are going to say no to this type of junk! Expose your children to real people who do interesting things. Learn to do interesting things yourself, perhaps, and that will encourage your daughter to want to do them as well!!!
Maybe this book is a wakeup call for parents to really parent and not be a child's best buddy. Children need wise direction so they can grow up to become wise and loving adults. This book has information that will help identify those unwise areas that children should be guided away from.
June 24, 2008
I live near a street that has a store boasting the name "The Princess Store". It's filled with pink tutus, pink purses, pink glitter wands and the occassional purple dress. The target age, according to the size of all the big-skirted dresses and bejeweled leotards prominently displayed, is three to four-year-old. But really I would say the target age is 28 to 32 year-old mothers with SUV strollers.
I'm guilty of forgetting the world's relationship with gender schemas. I forget that parents don't want to buy their little girls a truck and would never give their son a book with a female protagonist. So while this book may seem a little obvious to 20-something year-olds that took a million Women Studies courses in their very liberal arts college, it's not obvious to everyone...including my mother.
My mother dressed me in my older brothers' hand-me-downs and didn't mind when people said I was an adorable little boy. I had a million Barbies but even more legos and in the place of a pink Huffy with streamers I requested (and received, little brat) a 1996 Dyno VFR with pegs. But when my mom picked up the book from my shelf while visiting recently, she couldn't put it down. Surprisingly, there were a lot of things she didn't consider. A lot of suggestions for conversations with my 13-year-old sister and her twin brother. Because despite how your parents try to raise you, your friends and the media become more important.
It's a good read for those self-proclaimed third wavers as well. It's a reminder of how things are outside your idealism, and it has a few topics you may not have considered.
Most importantly, this book advocates educated choice. You can like what you like, but know why it is you like it, and be open to explore other options than what is culturally expected. If your kindergartener wants to wear a pink frilly dress, let her. But don't be too surprised when she jumps in mud pile. Why not encourage it?
I'm guilty of forgetting the world's relationship with gender schemas. I forget that parents don't want to buy their little girls a truck and would never give their son a book with a female protagonist. So while this book may seem a little obvious to 20-something year-olds that took a million Women Studies courses in their very liberal arts college, it's not obvious to everyone...including my mother.
My mother dressed me in my older brothers' hand-me-downs and didn't mind when people said I was an adorable little boy. I had a million Barbies but even more legos and in the place of a pink Huffy with streamers I requested (and received, little brat) a 1996 Dyno VFR with pegs. But when my mom picked up the book from my shelf while visiting recently, she couldn't put it down. Surprisingly, there were a lot of things she didn't consider. A lot of suggestions for conversations with my 13-year-old sister and her twin brother. Because despite how your parents try to raise you, your friends and the media become more important.
It's a good read for those self-proclaimed third wavers as well. It's a reminder of how things are outside your idealism, and it has a few topics you may not have considered.
Most importantly, this book advocates educated choice. You can like what you like, but know why it is you like it, and be open to explore other options than what is culturally expected. If your kindergartener wants to wear a pink frilly dress, let her. But don't be too surprised when she jumps in mud pile. Why not encourage it?
January 22, 2023
This is a clearly written book about the insidious impact of marketing, media and popular culture on young girls. It is also outdated. To the authors' credit, they kind of expected this and noted in the beginning that someday Nanopets and YM magazine may not have the same influence that they once did.... :|
What made this book interesting, which full disclosure I skimmed the last two chapters, was how it responded to the popular culture from my childhood. Having grown up absorbing the vast majority of the entertainment analyzed in this book, it was sort of shattering to be reminded of the type of messages present in these forms. Now as an adult, it's easy to recognize how I internalized these harmful messages about my own self-worth (or lack of it). It's hard to be a girl. Beyond that, I think the biggest problem with reading this book in our current time is that it has no intersectional analysis. Basically, the arguments relate exclusively to white, middle-income girls without unpacking any nuanced implications in terms of class, gender or race. While many of the arguments are still valid, this would be a very different book if written today, and for the better.
What made this book interesting, which full disclosure I skimmed the last two chapters, was how it responded to the popular culture from my childhood. Having grown up absorbing the vast majority of the entertainment analyzed in this book, it was sort of shattering to be reminded of the type of messages present in these forms. Now as an adult, it's easy to recognize how I internalized these harmful messages about my own self-worth (or lack of it). It's hard to be a girl. Beyond that, I think the biggest problem with reading this book in our current time is that it has no intersectional analysis. Basically, the arguments relate exclusively to white, middle-income girls without unpacking any nuanced implications in terms of class, gender or race. While many of the arguments are still valid, this would be a very different book if written today, and for the better.
March 3, 2009
I am wildly critical and keenly aware of the tactics employed by marketers, especially as it relates to women and girls. Though I sometimes found the book to be a little "all-or-nothing" at times, I appreciate the overall message as a whole.
I have felt the same frustrations, and made the same observations for years: the messages in the packaging of what it means to be a girl too often centers around boys and fashion, "mean girl" drama is normalized, "girl" toys either promote an interest in appearance or in shopping, lead characters in movies are most often male, unless it's a princess movie...and don't even get me started on t-shirts. Little girls wearing t-shirts with messages of being a "diva", "drama queen", or "high maintainence"...these are not qualities admired and respected in adults. Why on earth are we encouraging them in our children?
What I appreciated was more than the mere acknowledgement of all my pent-up frustrations. I really felt like the book offered up solutions and ways of dealing with the "material world of prepackaged girl culture" and it's incessant messages. As much as we would like to remove ourselves and our daughters from it all, it is their (and our) world. It is impossible to remove them from the culture of it all. The book provides strategies for dealing with the reality of life, acknowledging the most proactive solution is to provide a platform that encourages critical thinking, questioning and learning to see through the hype. I really enjoyed the sample conversations strung throughout the book. The last chapter is a keeper and I may end up purchasing the book just to keep the information on hand.
In addition, there are wonderful lists of books, movies, songs/artists, websites, magazines, and organizations that promote similar ideas and provide wonderful alternatives to everything else we're spoon-fed.
I have felt the same frustrations, and made the same observations for years: the messages in the packaging of what it means to be a girl too often centers around boys and fashion, "mean girl" drama is normalized, "girl" toys either promote an interest in appearance or in shopping, lead characters in movies are most often male, unless it's a princess movie...and don't even get me started on t-shirts. Little girls wearing t-shirts with messages of being a "diva", "drama queen", or "high maintainence"...these are not qualities admired and respected in adults. Why on earth are we encouraging them in our children?
What I appreciated was more than the mere acknowledgement of all my pent-up frustrations. I really felt like the book offered up solutions and ways of dealing with the "material world of prepackaged girl culture" and it's incessant messages. As much as we would like to remove ourselves and our daughters from it all, it is their (and our) world. It is impossible to remove them from the culture of it all. The book provides strategies for dealing with the reality of life, acknowledging the most proactive solution is to provide a platform that encourages critical thinking, questioning and learning to see through the hype. I really enjoyed the sample conversations strung throughout the book. The last chapter is a keeper and I may end up purchasing the book just to keep the information on hand.
In addition, there are wonderful lists of books, movies, songs/artists, websites, magazines, and organizations that promote similar ideas and provide wonderful alternatives to everything else we're spoon-fed.
December 19, 2007
I have started reading this and I am not really sure why, but it is frustrating me. I think there is a feeling of being powerless over the media and businesses. And that if my daughter wears pink she is going to be weaker because of it. I am not sure if I am reacting defensively or what. Because naturally, I am not a big fan of Marketers and their schemes...The tone of the book really grates on me though.
Couldn't finish this...it is our bathroom. Steve and I will read snippets of it and get angry. Her facts are not even accurate. BLAH! I had such hope for this book!
Couldn't finish this...it is our bathroom. Steve and I will read snippets of it and get angry. Her facts are not even accurate. BLAH! I had such hope for this book!
February 14, 2020
This is a very important book for anyone with children, not just daughters, to give a look at. It has raised my awareness of messaging to kids (and parents for that matter). I feel that with that awareness, I can begin to make better decisions for purchases, exposure to that messaging. Of course the goal of marketing is to make consumers want to buy. We, as the purchasers, don’t need to fall into the trap.
April 20, 2019
Dated. Many things in this book have changed. Some have not. Media examples are older from when the book came out. Recommend more current reading on the topic, but this is a good primer for parents who are not aware of gender bias in media & how it impacts girls.
June 8, 2019
Definitely better than nothing and an okay starting point re: media criticism for parents and daughters, but totally erases men’s agency in sexism and the ways that men (and boys) benefit from the misogynistic propaganda girls are inundated with. PIV is uncritically hailed as the ultimate in intimacy. The focus is completely on media literacy as the only response to sexism in media; it’s strongly implied that the only problem is sexist marketing, not men or capitalism overall- our kids deserve better ads. Wimpy!!!!!
Want to read
August 22, 2017I didn't realize this is from 2006. Bratz dolls? I'm not so sure I'll get through this.
May 9, 2020
Review Written January 29, 2017.
I was excited to read this book when I borrowed it from a friend a few months ago. As someone who majored in Media Studies in college and minored in Women & Gender Studies, I'm well aware of the insidious ways the media can affect our children, particularly our daughters. As someone who wants to have children one day, I'm always on the lookout for materials that will aid me in raising well-balanced, intelligent people who are aware of the media's attempts to spoon feed them toxic materialism and stereotypes. That is the goal of this book. However, while it provides many good examples of ways to talk to our daughters (which can also be used for our sons and non-binary children) about what they are seeing in the media as well as great book and movie suggestions, the attacks on certain kinds of films, music artists and books are flawed and poorly researched, making this a hard book to recommend when there are far better books like this available.
Full Review too Lengthy for Goodreads Limits. Read it on my blog: https://kaysbookcritiques.blogspot.co...
I was excited to read this book when I borrowed it from a friend a few months ago. As someone who majored in Media Studies in college and minored in Women & Gender Studies, I'm well aware of the insidious ways the media can affect our children, particularly our daughters. As someone who wants to have children one day, I'm always on the lookout for materials that will aid me in raising well-balanced, intelligent people who are aware of the media's attempts to spoon feed them toxic materialism and stereotypes. That is the goal of this book. However, while it provides many good examples of ways to talk to our daughters (which can also be used for our sons and non-binary children) about what they are seeing in the media as well as great book and movie suggestions, the attacks on certain kinds of films, music artists and books are flawed and poorly researched, making this a hard book to recommend when there are far better books like this available.
Full Review too Lengthy for Goodreads Limits. Read it on my blog: https://kaysbookcritiques.blogspot.co...
March 5, 2011
The authors, both female, annoyed me on the very first page when they announced "we write this book not as academics, but as mothers and counselors..." Blargh. No self-respecting male academic would make such a disclaimer. Much of the book's main argument could have been made in a single chapter, but I actually found the repetitiveness of their conclusions about each aspect of girl culture - clothes, books, movies, sports, etc to be illuminating. I also appreciated their concrete suggestions for alternatives to the dominant cultural models.
February 20, 2015
How to have morality without having morality. Arbitrary morality is a pet peeve of mine. "This is bad and this is good, let's ignore the fact that the root is the same with only differentiation being the degree of badness."
On the other hand, it's an important topic that someone should address.
On the other hand, it's an important topic that someone should address.
September 19, 2024
I liked this book. Yes, it was dated but it was a fun throwback to the 2000's with some of their examples. Some of their other reviewers are more cynical about this and I agree that it's a little over the top to be expect every instance to be a teaching moment, but I think if you pick and choose certain points it can be authentic. I like that they were pretty much like "you can't avoid bad pop culture forever, so try to respond with "oh, it makes me sad that there are only boys on the Lego box. I thought you and your friends liked them too" or compare raunchy music and movies with edgy things from your age.
I really appreciated how they at least brought up age issues as well. For example, although the usual teen magazines like J-14 or Tiger Beat are supposed to be tame and for teens, real teens are already reading general magazines so all of the stuff like first kiss information or body image stories are being read by a younger demographic. I think even if they were over the top, they were still accurate for things like color coded stuff (baby pink is safe and feminine, hot pink is wild and flirty) or the messages for different stores (like for Hot Topic, how it tries to commercialize being original/alternative/punk, just categorizes people against "preppy" girls, and most of the merch they sell is just male gazey instead of "legit" goth/punk stuff). I liked that they tried to include positive media examples as well (like Degrassi and My So Called Life) but I think they were off a few times (I think they said Lil Kim became sexualized when she always had the same image, or they included legit random indie movies I've only seen after college to compete with random Lindsay Lohan movies). Just as the authors would say, use your own discretion with this book.
I really appreciated how they at least brought up age issues as well. For example, although the usual teen magazines like J-14 or Tiger Beat are supposed to be tame and for teens, real teens are already reading general magazines so all of the stuff like first kiss information or body image stories are being read by a younger demographic. I think even if they were over the top, they were still accurate for things like color coded stuff (baby pink is safe and feminine, hot pink is wild and flirty) or the messages for different stores (like for Hot Topic, how it tries to commercialize being original/alternative/punk, just categorizes people against "preppy" girls, and most of the merch they sell is just male gazey instead of "legit" goth/punk stuff). I liked that they tried to include positive media examples as well (like Degrassi and My So Called Life) but I think they were off a few times (I think they said Lil Kim became sexualized when she always had the same image, or they included legit random indie movies I've only seen after college to compete with random Lindsay Lohan movies). Just as the authors would say, use your own discretion with this book.
June 28, 2018
If you've got daughters, this is a good heads up as to what Marketers (and society through Marketing's influence) plan for them.
Really opened my eyes to alot of tricks I had not formerly considered, especially those targeting under 5 year old girls. This runs the gamut from under 5 through teen, shows you what to look for, and since it's virtually impossible to prevent your girl(s) from seeing, hearing, reading, being exposed to the shop/sex categories marketers do their damndest to put girls in, gives you some strategies to empower and educate your girls.
Would have given it another star, but the writing was a bit clunky. Does not detract from how much I recommend this book to any parent with daughters.
Really opened my eyes to alot of tricks I had not formerly considered, especially those targeting under 5 year old girls. This runs the gamut from under 5 through teen, shows you what to look for, and since it's virtually impossible to prevent your girl(s) from seeing, hearing, reading, being exposed to the shop/sex categories marketers do their damndest to put girls in, gives you some strategies to empower and educate your girls.
Would have given it another star, but the writing was a bit clunky. Does not detract from how much I recommend this book to any parent with daughters.
January 7, 2018
The book is written for moms, but as a daughter, it helps me identify a lot of what I grew up seeing. The content is a little outdated but relevant enough to keep up with. I love the authors' understanding of girls' developmental needs. It aims to keep parents informed and active in their daughters' lives without being overly protective.
June 3, 2024
I dearly wish that every girl and woman I know would read this in an effort to better navigate our world. My second dearest wish is that the authors would write an updated version to fully take stock of how new content (streaming, social media apps) has further affected the girls in our modern world.
November 9, 2021
This book is incredibly eye-opening. While I don't agree with much of conclusions or advise that the authors give, I do appreciate the look at society - how girls and boys are treated differently - that they try to uncover. This book deals with many adult themes.
August 12, 2019
If you rather your daughters not become "that girl" then you better read this book. Dr. Brown offers not just a deeper look but effective strategies for empowering your daughters.
Want to read
June 22, 2021This book is definitely amazing.
June 18, 2013
Lots of great information and an in depth perspective on the marketing directed to girls. The books looks into dress, media, music and overall negative stereotypes related to women.
Here are a few thoughts I wanted to remember from the book:
What does it suggest to your girl when you dress her in the latest fashions [such as frilly skirts or dressy shirts]? It suggests that her play clothes no longer work for school as boys play clothes do, that play is circumscribed part of her life. It says school clothes need to impress, to say something about you. This differentiation between clothes and play clothes may be okay for older adolescents and adults but it is completely wrong for children. Those tight jeans and dressy shirt do more than discourage movement.
They tell your daughter- at an age when she needs to feel big, try new things, and widen her reach- that how she looks is more important than what she can do and more important than racing to the corner or rolling down the grassy hill as fast as she can. She may look cute at the moment but the hill she forgoes or the race she doesn’t run will impact how she interacts with the world for a long time. It’s a great loss to the preteen. Paraphrased Pg. 16
Parents can teach girls to speak up. Girls can actively undo rumors. By naming they can fight naming. Teaching daughters to name gossip as gossip and rumors as rumors is a first step. The girls we heard from can do that for us, but there have to be more girls doing it so they can feel safe sticking up for others and themselves with peers. Pg. 127
While you can talk to your daughter about what gossip is and does, one of the best ways to counteract this problem is to give them real information in as untimulating a way as possible. Demystify, detoxify, despectacularize sex for them, and they will gain a different kind of sohpistication. “I know that already. My mother told me.” Pg. 128
Studies tell us that children who watch a great amount of tv per week hold more sterotypical views than those who watch less and that fourth and fifth graders who watch a great amount are more likely to gender-sterotype household chores.
Suggestions for conversation questions related to blockbuster movies.
-Who does most of the rescuing and who is rescued?
-Who is full of personality?
-Why are there so many people in this movie white and rich?
-Do parents have cool jobs or real ones?
List of movies that feature strong girls and fewer sterotypes (ex. Because of Winn-Dixie, Bend it like Beckham, Fly Away Home, Matilda, Whale Rider, Miss Congeniality 2, Little Princess, Girlstown, Rabbit-Proof Fence) Pg. 116
Continue reading on pg. 169
Disclaimer: Some sections of the book have foul language due to the graphics on t-shirts, quotes from teenagers related to several subjects and lyrics in music directed towards teens.
Here are a few thoughts I wanted to remember from the book:
What does it suggest to your girl when you dress her in the latest fashions [such as frilly skirts or dressy shirts]? It suggests that her play clothes no longer work for school as boys play clothes do, that play is circumscribed part of her life. It says school clothes need to impress, to say something about you. This differentiation between clothes and play clothes may be okay for older adolescents and adults but it is completely wrong for children. Those tight jeans and dressy shirt do more than discourage movement.
They tell your daughter- at an age when she needs to feel big, try new things, and widen her reach- that how she looks is more important than what she can do and more important than racing to the corner or rolling down the grassy hill as fast as she can. She may look cute at the moment but the hill she forgoes or the race she doesn’t run will impact how she interacts with the world for a long time. It’s a great loss to the preteen. Paraphrased Pg. 16
Parents can teach girls to speak up. Girls can actively undo rumors. By naming they can fight naming. Teaching daughters to name gossip as gossip and rumors as rumors is a first step. The girls we heard from can do that for us, but there have to be more girls doing it so they can feel safe sticking up for others and themselves with peers. Pg. 127
While you can talk to your daughter about what gossip is and does, one of the best ways to counteract this problem is to give them real information in as untimulating a way as possible. Demystify, detoxify, despectacularize sex for them, and they will gain a different kind of sohpistication. “I know that already. My mother told me.” Pg. 128
Studies tell us that children who watch a great amount of tv per week hold more sterotypical views than those who watch less and that fourth and fifth graders who watch a great amount are more likely to gender-sterotype household chores.
Suggestions for conversation questions related to blockbuster movies.
-Who does most of the rescuing and who is rescued?
-Who is full of personality?
-Why are there so many people in this movie white and rich?
-Do parents have cool jobs or real ones?
List of movies that feature strong girls and fewer sterotypes (ex. Because of Winn-Dixie, Bend it like Beckham, Fly Away Home, Matilda, Whale Rider, Miss Congeniality 2, Little Princess, Girlstown, Rabbit-Proof Fence) Pg. 116
Continue reading on pg. 169
Disclaimer: Some sections of the book have foul language due to the graphics on t-shirts, quotes from teenagers related to several subjects and lyrics in music directed towards teens.
Read
September 26, 2013"Be prepared to be shocked and saddened as you come to see the world of sex, shopping, media, body-fat, and self-esteem through the wide eyes of today's American girls. Be prepared, also, to find invaluable guidance and insight from authors Sharon Lamb and Lyn Brown who know our daughters from inside out. This is a must-read for parents and teachers who want to steer girls away from marketing schemes that distort female power and authority, and towards true self-acceptance and authentic empowerment."
-Polly Young-Eisendrath, author of Women and Desire and The Resilient Spirit
"Lyn Mikel Brown and Sharon Lamb have that rare gift of translating cutting edge research and analysis into strategies and information that every parent (and every girl) can use in daily life. In Packaging Girlhood, they provide solid ways for families to help girls stay rooted in reality while buffeted by the powerful winds of commercialism. In the process, we parents learn more than a little about staying rooted in reality ourselves. This is the kind of guidance that families need, especially if they think they are immune from marketers' schemes."
-Joe Kelly, President, Dads and Daughters
"With compassion, insight, and humor,[Lamb and Brown] unravel and demystify the messages girls confront throughout their development, and they offer adults useful tools to help girls resist their powerful pull. Packaging Girlhood is filled with useful information and practical suggestions for adults wishing to help girls critique and rewrite consumer culture's narrow and toxic portrayals of girls. Never judgmental and always illuminating, Packaging Girlhood reflects Lamb and Brown's deep respect for girls and their first-hand understanding of the dilemmas of parenting."
-Lynn M. Phillips, Ph.D., Department of Communications, University of Massachusetts at Amherst
"A tour de force of excellent scholarship put in a very readable context and chock full of practical suggestions to parents for change! In Packaging Girlhood, Lamb and Brown expose the manner in which our daughters whom we believed had been newly reinforced with "girl power" actually remain enslaved in the gender straitjacket of a narrow and distorted set of messages about what being a "real girl "or young adult female is all about.
A must read for anyone who teaches, works with or wishes to support girls (from tots to teens) in our society and for every parent of a daughter who wants to give her child a legacy of meaningful possibilities instead of a prepackaged world of inhibiting stereotypes."
-William S. Pollack, Ph.D., author of Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood
-Polly Young-Eisendrath, author of Women and Desire and The Resilient Spirit
"Lyn Mikel Brown and Sharon Lamb have that rare gift of translating cutting edge research and analysis into strategies and information that every parent (and every girl) can use in daily life. In Packaging Girlhood, they provide solid ways for families to help girls stay rooted in reality while buffeted by the powerful winds of commercialism. In the process, we parents learn more than a little about staying rooted in reality ourselves. This is the kind of guidance that families need, especially if they think they are immune from marketers' schemes."
-Joe Kelly, President, Dads and Daughters
"With compassion, insight, and humor,[Lamb and Brown] unravel and demystify the messages girls confront throughout their development, and they offer adults useful tools to help girls resist their powerful pull. Packaging Girlhood is filled with useful information and practical suggestions for adults wishing to help girls critique and rewrite consumer culture's narrow and toxic portrayals of girls. Never judgmental and always illuminating, Packaging Girlhood reflects Lamb and Brown's deep respect for girls and their first-hand understanding of the dilemmas of parenting."
-Lynn M. Phillips, Ph.D., Department of Communications, University of Massachusetts at Amherst
"A tour de force of excellent scholarship put in a very readable context and chock full of practical suggestions to parents for change! In Packaging Girlhood, Lamb and Brown expose the manner in which our daughters whom we believed had been newly reinforced with "girl power" actually remain enslaved in the gender straitjacket of a narrow and distorted set of messages about what being a "real girl "or young adult female is all about.
A must read for anyone who teaches, works with or wishes to support girls (from tots to teens) in our society and for every parent of a daughter who wants to give her child a legacy of meaningful possibilities instead of a prepackaged world of inhibiting stereotypes."
-William S. Pollack, Ph.D., author of Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood
May 6, 2013
This is a well-reasoned assessment of images of girlhood in advertising and pop culture. I particularly liked that the antithesis of the "girly-girl," the riot GRRL or sassy girl, is just another marketing stereotype. The authors are thorough, and give some nice advice on how to have conversations about stereotyping without (we hope) being overbearing. For every trip to the mall to turn into a lecture on advertising and gender would be wearying for parent and child alike, but I think that kids bring up these cliches enough on their own that any parent should know how to get them to reassess what they've been sold.
I found the beginning of the book entertaining and enjoyable, but after a while, though, I found myself skimming. It is fairly repetitive, and having been written in 2005, the pop culture references are all out of date. That said, while "Kim Possible" is no longer on the air, the pervasiveness of gender-based stereotyping and cliches are still with us.
The authors, foolishly, also occasionally belittle traditional feminine roles and skills; I think the loss of "home-ick" has greatly damaged America, considering how few people now know how to cook a meal or grocery shop on a budget. Is building a birdhouse really a more admirable skill than making a cake from scratch? They smugly state that we "all" use Duncan Hines now. This in a book criticizing marketers! Ending home-ec programs hurt everyone...all students should learn how to fix a few things, cook a few things, and manage money.
But such slips are only occasional.
Finally, I liked the sense that the authors are a little more grounded than either the, "Girls and boys are SOOOO different!" adults and the, "All gender differences come from SOCIETY!" advocates. They show how marketers exaggerate and exploit natural inclinations of little girls to teenagers to sell their products, and by so doing, shape society's view of femininity. That is decidedly NOT the same as saying that girls and boys are exactly the same; it's saying that they aren't opposites, and that people are more complex than shown on TV. This book asks the question: do our shows, books, movies and ads show the truth about us? Or just a funhouse mirror version of truth?
I found the beginning of the book entertaining and enjoyable, but after a while, though, I found myself skimming. It is fairly repetitive, and having been written in 2005, the pop culture references are all out of date. That said, while "Kim Possible" is no longer on the air, the pervasiveness of gender-based stereotyping and cliches are still with us.
The authors, foolishly, also occasionally belittle traditional feminine roles and skills; I think the loss of "home-ick" has greatly damaged America, considering how few people now know how to cook a meal or grocery shop on a budget. Is building a birdhouse really a more admirable skill than making a cake from scratch? They smugly state that we "all" use Duncan Hines now. This in a book criticizing marketers! Ending home-ec programs hurt everyone...all students should learn how to fix a few things, cook a few things, and manage money.
But such slips are only occasional.
Finally, I liked the sense that the authors are a little more grounded than either the, "Girls and boys are SOOOO different!" adults and the, "All gender differences come from SOCIETY!" advocates. They show how marketers exaggerate and exploit natural inclinations of little girls to teenagers to sell their products, and by so doing, shape society's view of femininity. That is decidedly NOT the same as saying that girls and boys are exactly the same; it's saying that they aren't opposites, and that people are more complex than shown on TV. This book asks the question: do our shows, books, movies and ads show the truth about us? Or just a funhouse mirror version of truth?
November 14, 2014
This was pretty eye opening. And it made me feel a little neurotic about all of the things Gemma consumes (media wise) on a daily basis. It has certainly gotten me asking questions like, "Why do you think they only have boys playing with that toy? Wouldn't you enjoy it too?" and "Isn't it great that the girls got to save the boy in this cartoon? I bet you could have saved him from that trouble." I have always avoided clothing that say "diva" and "princess" and the like, and I feel like Gemma is very likely to take part in a number of athletic endeavors that boys would in her future, just based on her current strengths. Plus, I wouldn't identify myself as overly girly (or really, overly any stereotypical girl "part"). So I feel like Gemma (and later Lena) have a decent chance of avoiding a lot of those girl stereotypes. But this book really hit hard that no matter how hard we try, they are going to be bombarded with the stereotypes by every possible media source.
There were two main things I had problems with. The first was not the book's fault: it's a bit outdated. That's just a product of me reading it years after it was published (copyright 2006). The problem with this is that I now feel like I see more TV shows that are better at representing girls. Certainly not perfect, but better. (Doc McStuffins plays a doctor, and has a strong female role model in her doctor mother. BUT...why does she have to wear a cute purple dress? Couldn't she wear jeans and a tshirt?! [See, now I'm neurotic.]) It would have also been nice to get a more current list of books/tv/movies that they recommend, since the ones in the book are at least that many years outdated. The second problem with this book is it saves all the sample questions/conversations you should have with your daughters until the very end. The whole book talked a lot about all the things you need to have conversations with your daughters about, but didn't say HOW to have these conversations. This was really lacking. Until the very end, then I read that part with great interest.
Overall, good read if you have daughters.
There were two main things I had problems with. The first was not the book's fault: it's a bit outdated. That's just a product of me reading it years after it was published (copyright 2006). The problem with this is that I now feel like I see more TV shows that are better at representing girls. Certainly not perfect, but better. (Doc McStuffins plays a doctor, and has a strong female role model in her doctor mother. BUT...why does she have to wear a cute purple dress? Couldn't she wear jeans and a tshirt?! [See, now I'm neurotic.]) It would have also been nice to get a more current list of books/tv/movies that they recommend, since the ones in the book are at least that many years outdated. The second problem with this book is it saves all the sample questions/conversations you should have with your daughters until the very end. The whole book talked a lot about all the things you need to have conversations with your daughters about, but didn't say HOW to have these conversations. This was really lacking. Until the very end, then I read that part with great interest.
Overall, good read if you have daughters.
April 25, 2009
This book is written by two counselors who work with teenage girls and their psychological problems. They do a lot with marketing and the images it forces girls into. I liked the simple, direct characterizations and the psychological approach to marketing and how my daughter is already being socially indoctrinated, but got scared stupid when they started talking about all the scary things that could start happening in a few years. I did NOT like the no-win situation that feminists often put women in. As in: you're repressed if you want to be nurturing and family centered, you're in denial if you just want a career and not a family, and you're crazy and unable to choose if try to have them both. Actually, I want my child to want to have a family, I think it's OK if she talks about getting married and cooking dinner, and we can also pretend that she's a firefighter that likes dinosaurs.
In the end, I appreciated the open eyes approach these women had, so that I can listen to my daughter say she loves pink and purple and remember that that might not have come in her genes but may have been taught by her society. I loved the 'you can't run away, so you'll have to face it and talk about it' approach. I loved their list of books, movies, websites, and magazines that have strong girl characters and real plots.
And finally, I realized (the book didn't say this) that many of the issues are things that we transfer to our children unknowingly. So, if we don't have body image issues, we probably won't teach our children to hate their bodies.
Oh, and they really opened my eyes to some internet lingo I didn't know. There is a whole vocab to avoid parents. Go find out before your kid starts using it.
In the end, I appreciated the open eyes approach these women had, so that I can listen to my daughter say she loves pink and purple and remember that that might not have come in her genes but may have been taught by her society. I loved the 'you can't run away, so you'll have to face it and talk about it' approach. I loved their list of books, movies, websites, and magazines that have strong girl characters and real plots.
And finally, I realized (the book didn't say this) that many of the issues are things that we transfer to our children unknowingly. So, if we don't have body image issues, we probably won't teach our children to hate their bodies.
Oh, and they really opened my eyes to some internet lingo I didn't know. There is a whole vocab to avoid parents. Go find out before your kid starts using it.
September 11, 2012
My opinion on this research is mixed. One one hand, the research wasn't groundbreaking or original, it didn't offer any new perspectives on what is an ancient problem since the first daughter was born. Women, on the outside, represent everything pure and wholesome to a man, to society in general. But in reality, women are much more powerful than men because of sex. Sex is not a weapon per se, all though it can be, but woman are born with something that men want, and the fact that they can't always have it is a huge form of power. What does this have to do with marketing girlhood? Everything. Men like to thing that they rule the world, and women don't really question this. Men have rigged society so that people with vaginas are oppressed as soon as they are out of the womb. Society doesn't want little girls to know how powerful they are. Women are obviously just as intelligent and capable as men are, maybe even more so since they have the capacity to use brain hemispheres simultaneously while men can't. So if you have little girls running around swinging bats and speaking french and Japanese and learning about physics...and in a few years when they are developing and their sexuality is blooming, where will this leave men? I'll tell you where, it will leave them running to catch up with us. They will no longer have to carry us on their backs. Society would belly flop and there would be war because of the misogynist religions and countries that don't even allow woman to wear pants. This is why mcdonalds has separate happy meals for boys and girls.
May 26, 2014
For all the talk about stereotypes, it pretty much fit the stereotype of a feminist book. Not that you can have too many feminist books, but this book didn't really bring anything fresh to the table. I found it hypercritical. Okay, there's a lot to criticize about the portrayal of women in the media, but it's kind of frustrating when they give all this examples of what not to do with very few examples of what is actually good. Like, I'm supposed to dislike Mulan for "Honor to us all" and "I'll make a man out of you" because little girls aren't smart enough to take them ironically? Sorry, best Disney songs ever, not going to happen. Or maybe saying something like "why does a girl have to dress like a man to be a badass?" Umm, it's called a plot point...
Mulan is pretty much the most nonsexist movie Disney has ever made. And like I said in my soon-to-be-published article about Disney princesses, despite being surrounded with Barbies, pink, and princesses, I managed to turn out okay.
Don't think that I'm some post-feminist critic, though. And I realize the irony of expecting a book to fulfill all of my feminist expectations and not giving it points for trying...the exact same thing I'm criticizing them for doing to Disney movies. I enjoyed it, but I would probably have enjoyed it more if I hadn't read five books exactly like it before.
Mulan is pretty much the most nonsexist movie Disney has ever made. And like I said in my soon-to-be-published article about Disney princesses, despite being surrounded with Barbies, pink, and princesses, I managed to turn out okay.
Don't think that I'm some post-feminist critic, though. And I realize the irony of expecting a book to fulfill all of my feminist expectations and not giving it points for trying...the exact same thing I'm criticizing them for doing to Disney movies. I enjoyed it, but I would probably have enjoyed it more if I hadn't read five books exactly like it before.
August 5, 2011
When I read Pink Think (will be reviewed here also) I kept thinking I'd like to see something written along those lines for our own time, to show how much "pink think" has not gone away. This is that book. I spent much of my time rolling my eyes and groaning while reading it.
My own daughter is only 19 months old, but I know quite well that "pink think" will remain alive and well as she grows up. It was interesting to read this -- written in 2004 or thereabouts -- and think about my own experiences as a teen in the 80s and then wonder about the forthcoming '20s, when my child will be that age. I got Seventeen magazine when I was a teen, and I swear it had more substance then. But was that because I was still so young? I don't have the issues to look at now and judge. Things seemed very different, though I know quite well that the marketers were after me too.
I was lucky to have a mom (and dad) that shielded me from that and taught me just how many options I had. I must now do the same thing. The thing is, we are all targeted by marketing -- the same book could have been written for boys.
I still found it a valuable read, with all the ideas on talking to kids of varying ages about being a girl in this world.
My own daughter is only 19 months old, but I know quite well that "pink think" will remain alive and well as she grows up. It was interesting to read this -- written in 2004 or thereabouts -- and think about my own experiences as a teen in the 80s and then wonder about the forthcoming '20s, when my child will be that age. I got Seventeen magazine when I was a teen, and I swear it had more substance then. But was that because I was still so young? I don't have the issues to look at now and judge. Things seemed very different, though I know quite well that the marketers were after me too.
I was lucky to have a mom (and dad) that shielded me from that and taught me just how many options I had. I must now do the same thing. The thing is, we are all targeted by marketing -- the same book could have been written for boys.
I still found it a valuable read, with all the ideas on talking to kids of varying ages about being a girl in this world.
February 23, 2012
This very thorough book points out the continual stereotyping of girls in all kinds of media and life. We are guilty of exposing girls to narrow perceptions of who they can be, perceptions that are often hypocritical.
My problem with the book is while the authors said that they realized that girls could be stereotypical in some ways, I am not sure I believed them. They spend to much space exposing the dangers of pink, housework, babysitting, and even art as stereotypes. As a result, the few sentences that lend some credibility and acceptance to those of us who have traditional passions seem phony.
I think that the book models a complicated way of talking to kids about stereotypes that could be very useful. I like that they go beyond telling parents to forbid things or telling parents to know all about them. Modelling and defending values through conversation is a great way to teach. I know that my parents do sometimes talk that way, and it feels invasive and drives me crazy. But as a child, it was healthy for me and shaped how I think.
I wish that this book had incorporated more talk about values and religion, because, personally, my three biggest filters for media are values from my family, values from my religion, and respect for myself and other women.
My problem with the book is while the authors said that they realized that girls could be stereotypical in some ways, I am not sure I believed them. They spend to much space exposing the dangers of pink, housework, babysitting, and even art as stereotypes. As a result, the few sentences that lend some credibility and acceptance to those of us who have traditional passions seem phony.
I think that the book models a complicated way of talking to kids about stereotypes that could be very useful. I like that they go beyond telling parents to forbid things or telling parents to know all about them. Modelling and defending values through conversation is a great way to teach. I know that my parents do sometimes talk that way, and it feels invasive and drives me crazy. But as a child, it was healthy for me and shaped how I think.
I wish that this book had incorporated more talk about values and religion, because, personally, my three biggest filters for media are values from my family, values from my religion, and respect for myself and other women.
December 6, 2008
While the book made some good points, and was an interesting read that brought questions to my mind; its research and examples were not the best.
When one is using pop culture as reference, people will know the subjects of your research. It truly hurts one's points when it is clear that some of the examples you are citing are flat-out incorrect. People watch horror movies, they read popular books, and there are times in this book that even when they are accurately using a reference, it feels like they are pushing it to conform more thoroughly to their point than it merits.
While some chapters are spot on, and generally their points are reasoned and insightful, bringing up questions in the mind of the reader. Their bias sometimes comes off as holier-than-thou. As though because their book is written for a wide audience rather than an academic one, they can get away with inaccuracy.
Regardless of this, it is a solid read and a good resource if you're beginning to think about how your daughter is being marketed to, or simply how one speaks to one's daughter about media stereotyping of women, it's an excellent primer.
When one is using pop culture as reference, people will know the subjects of your research. It truly hurts one's points when it is clear that some of the examples you are citing are flat-out incorrect. People watch horror movies, they read popular books, and there are times in this book that even when they are accurately using a reference, it feels like they are pushing it to conform more thoroughly to their point than it merits.
While some chapters are spot on, and generally their points are reasoned and insightful, bringing up questions in the mind of the reader. Their bias sometimes comes off as holier-than-thou. As though because their book is written for a wide audience rather than an academic one, they can get away with inaccuracy.
Regardless of this, it is a solid read and a good resource if you're beginning to think about how your daughter is being marketed to, or simply how one speaks to one's daughter about media stereotyping of women, it's an excellent primer.
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