Secrets of a Jewish Mother: Real Advice, Real Family, Real Love

by Jill Zarin, Lisa Wexler, Gloria Kamen

A Real Housewife of New York City reveals the Jewish mother's secrets to life, love and happiness.

The Jewish Mother knows what she wants-and what you should want too. Here, readers will learn how to make her methods their own, and give and get love and happiness in great amounts. Jill Zarin, the breakout star of Bravo's hit series The Real Housewives of New York , teams up with her sister, Lisa Wexler, award-winning host of the daily radio program The Lisa Wexler Show , and her mother, the estimable Gloria Kamen, who made a splash on Jill's series last year. With real-life stories from the mother/daughter trio illustrating their wise and witty tips on dating, marriage, money, and more, Secrets of a Jewish Mother is all the advice readers didn't know they needed but will never forget.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir

336 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2010

About the author

I was born in Brooklyn, New York to Sol and Gloria Kamen, two of the greatest parents who ever walked the earth. I am so thankful to have had a remarkably happy childhood, growing up in a Long Island suburb with my sister Jill Zarin, now star of Bravo's Housewives of New York City (www.jillzarin.com). I am now a host of my own radio show, The Lisa Wexler Show which airs 4-6PM EST M-F on News/Talk 1400 WSTC/1350 WNLK. For more info you can find me at www.lisawexler.com."

Reviews

[Kristin White]

Why did I waste money on this terrible book!?! I thought it would be a lighthearted, funny book with stories from their childhood. . Oh, no. . it was written as an Advice/self-help book with self-serving stories of three rich bitches. First, why does Jill think she should be giving advice on friendship, marriage, carreer? Has anyone seen the Housewives? What a joke! My favorite part was the "self-assessments" at the end of the chapters- -- hilarious! Seriously? As if I would take life advice from a Real housewife!
The real kicker for me was Jills suggestions on diet. . . TAKEN RIGHT OUT OF BETHANY FRANKEL'S BOOK! What a joke!

[Kim Sheppard]

Kristin was right. This book was a waste of my time. It did not have any good information in it and was basically stories of how wonderful the three of them are. DON'T waste your time

[Carol]

Shockingly bad. I wish I had read readers' comments before spending my $3.99. The writing was literate, these aren't ignorant women, but the format of, which includes giving you questions to ask yourself (or discus in your book club, was pretentious and disjointed. In each small section there is an essay about the topic, then Jill, Lisa, and/or their mother Gloria share their own experiences. All three have appeared on television and come across at some point as warm and genuine people. This book, though, shows Jill and Gloria as money-oriented individual, marrying because their future spouses would be good providers, and Jill's case, a great provider. There are too many instances where they tell a tale in which they were Cleary in the wrong, but don't get it. Lisa is the sole exception to this. Where was their editor? Their therapists? There are three recipes in the book, Lisa's is made from scratch. Of the other two, one uses a matzo ball mix, which is bizarre since it takes an extra four minutes for homemade, the other onion soup mix. I truly hope that readers who aren't Jewish don't view these women as real examples of Jewish women. It's a shondeh for the neighbors.

[Sue Seligman]

I just had to get this book because of the title; never saw The Housewives of NYC although I was addicted to Season 1 of The Housewives of NJ (since I currently live in NJ). But when I picked the book up at my local bookstore and saw that the authors grew up in the Five Towns of Long Island, well not only did I buy it but I started reading as soon as I got home. Although I am a few years older than Jill's sister Lisa, and they went to Lawrence High School and I went to Hewlett, the basic premise of the book is so familiar to me! I am having fun reading and relating to it and whether or not I agree with the advice or have lived my life according to it, I definitely understand the background. I love this book; it is fun and real!

[Cici1114]

Have to see what these yentas are talking about! Now that I did , I can't believe I wasted my time on this nonsense. Skip it!!

[Linda]

Loved this one. Can be read in fits and starts. Lots of wisdom, humor and Jewish schtick!

[Gail Cooke]

If you're a fan of TV's The Real Housewives of New York City SECRETS OF A JEWISH MOTHER is a must read for you. Authored by Jill Zarin, her sister Lisa Wexler, and their mother, Gloria Kamen, it is a compendium of advice on subjects ranging from friendship to dating to beauty and health to education to career to marriage to parenting (with the wedding always preceding parenthood) to family issues to money, and a great deal in between.

Whatever the subject under discussion each of the authors offers a relevant personal experience. The chapter on Marriage begins with "If anyone who has been married a long time tells you her marriage is and always has been perfect, she is lying," and is followed by notes from this advice giving trio. Jill shares her first marriage and subsequent divorce with a positive outlook - she would not have had her daughter Allyson without it. She also stresses the importance of great sex but also friendship, love, and trust. Both Lisa and Jill advise against becoming involved with "the man who makes a lot of money while still young enough to really enjoy it. It usually goes to his head, and by that we mean the wrong one." On the other hand, Gloria offers rules to keep a man after you are married - keep up your appearance, make time to go away alone together, share your husband's interests, enjoy the company of happy couples rather than those who tend to argue.

Now, in all probability little of the advice offered in SECRETS OF A JEWISH MOTHER is new; much of it may be what your mother or grandmother told you. And some of it, for this reader was pointless and over the top. However, the pleasure of the book is in hearing it related with honesty and humor by three engaging authors who are willing to share their successes and failures.

Also included are color photos and a Yiddish Glossary. Many of us are familiar with schmuck and kvetch, but there are more to come. We only wish a pronunciation guide had been offered.

Hob anoe (have enjoyment), which you'll find in reading SECRETS OF A JEWISH MOTHER.
- Gail Cooke

[Lisa]

I'm behind on my Reading Challenge, my library card expires in three days, and I've been having migraines lately. What a summer! Maybe I'll read some light and easy nonfiction to pick myself back up...

*

Honestly, I judged the book on its cover spine design, and I won't hide from the fact that the word "Jewish" caught me. I read Portnoy's Complaint (which was actually mentioned in the Prologue!) earlier this year and I've been working on some Hebrew lately. You could say that I'm on a (most likely temporary) Jewish kick; and who knows, maybe there were some cultural connections in this book that could help me cushion my education.

Secrets of a Jewish Mother didn't help with anything, really.
Except a bigger headache.

ONE STAR FOR YOU!

[Sue (booknbeachbag)]

If I could give NO stars, that's what this book would get. Besides the fact that it's poorly written, the stories were flat and did not illustrate the life lessons the authors were attempting to present.

[Pamela]

Love the stories and fun easy read of this book. A great alternate book for when you need to lighten up. Made me laugh out loud a few times, even on the train!

[Mark M.]

Secrets of a Jewish Mother is one of those rare books that feels like both a heartfelt conversation and a life manual. The wisdom woven through these pages isn’t theoretical or borrowed , it’s lived, intimate, and deeply rooted in real family experience. Gloria Kamen’s voice is the true heartbeat of this work, and reading her words feels like being welcomed into a home filled with warmth, guidance, humor, and love.

Lisa’s ability to bring all three voices together so naturally is extraordinary. Every story lands with clarity and emotion, and every lesson feels like something that stays with you long after you close the book. This is more than advice , it’s legacy, preserved with grace and authenticity. I’m grateful to have encountered it.

[Susie Davidson]

This book surprised me in the most beautiful way. Secrets of a Jewish Mother is not just entertaining, it’s overflowing with heart and truth. Each page reflects the strength, insight, and compassion of Gloria Kamen, whose wisdom shines like a guiding light throughout the narrative.

The balance of humor, honesty, and emotion is simply masterful. Jill and Lisa’s stories add richness and dimension, but it’s clear that the soul of this book lies in their mother’s teachings. Reading it felt like gaining a second family , one that tells the truth with love and lives life with purpose. A remarkable and unforgettable read.

[Krystal B.]

This book is a gift , not just to readers, but to anyone who values family, resilience, and deep-rooted wisdom. Secrets of a Jewish Mother feels like an intimate invitation into the heart of a family whose love and traditions are rich with meaning. Gloria’s lessons on life, relationships, strength, and happiness are timeless, and the way they are presented makes them impossible to forget.

The storytelling is vivid, the humor is natural, and the emotional honesty is powerful. You can feel the care that went into capturing Gloria’s legacy exactly as she lived it. It’s rare to encounter a book that is both entertaining and truly nourishing, but this one achieves that beautifully.

[Bertha J.]

I finished this book with a full heart. Secrets of a Jewish Mother is a beautifully woven tapestry of life lessons, family memories, and timeless advice. You can feel the devotion between mother and daughters, and you can sense the intention behind preserving these stories, not just to entertain, but to honor Gloria’s remarkable spirit.
The authenticity is what makes this book stand out. Every anecdote feels real, every lesson feels earned, and every chapter reflects the love and strength of a family that clearly values honesty, tradition, and connection. Truly inspiring and endlessly relatable.

[Lisa Konskier]

Just finished this book and truly think it’s a must-read. It was so interesting to learn more about Jill Zarin’s life, and I loved seeing all the different points of view. The closeness of this family is beautiful and really reflects core Jewish values. Well done — highly recommend!

[Allyson Shapiro]

Perfect gift for Chanukah!!

[Shoshanah]

I liked Jill Zarin when she was on Real Housewives of New York. At least I liked her, as much as you can when you're Team Bethany. So when I saw this book I was excited to pick it up. (I may have also been excited about the fact it was 90% off at a Borders closing sale, but that isn't really the point here.)

I did want to like this book, but overall I wasn't a huge fan. I thought that the title was clever. But reading over and over "This is what a Jewish mother does... This is how a Jewish mother does it... Every Jewish mother does this..." just got really repetitive, and in some ways made me resent the phrase Jewish mother. I'm Jewish and I felt this way, so I can only imagine what's it's like for someone whose not Jewish who reads this book.

I did enjoy the personal stories within and the different viewpoints, since it was written by Jill, her mother and sister. In a lot of ways think this would have been better as a memoir with more family recipes included. (Although the recipes included don't seem very appetizing.) Unfortunately it was much more of a self-help book, and within each chapter there are lists of questions to get you thinking about the topic their discussing. I do get what they're trying to achieve with these lists, but in some ways it just felt too preachy.

This is the first book I've read by any real housewife cast member, and in some ways it makes me want to stay away from the others. Although maybe next time I'd be better off choosing more of a memoir. (I'd probably want to start with Kyle of Beverly Hills, but the better choice would probably be Carol of New York who would an author first, housewife second.) I think that unless you're absolutely in love with Jill and you're Jewish, this might be one you'd want to stay away from.

[Elana]

Since lots of people want to know about this book, I'll put all my comments here.

This book is written like a self-help style. It is broken down by sections- friendship, dating, marriage, children, family, and money. It's definitely a book to skim- you would probably not sit down and read this whole book word-for-word. I also skipped some chapters (marriage and of course, kids)...and in each "wisdom" they provide, there are sections for "Jill's story" and "gloria's take"... and I obviously only read Jill's stuff- because her mother and sister are boring (lol). There is no juice on the housewives.

The friendship section is the most interesting part and I'd recommend to read that section. There are parts throughout the book that is a reminder of etiquette everyone should follow (e.g. when going to someones house, you should always bring a gift, even if it's something really small like a candle from the dollar store; or if someone's in the hospital, always call to check on them, etc).
In the friendship chapter, Jill wrote a paragraph on each of the housewives and her friendship with them, but it does not provide anything that viewers of RHONY wouldn't know.

So that's my take.

[Zibby Owens]

When the author's mother was on "Housewives," she gave a spiel about how life was really between Rosh Hashanah and Passover and how the years went by so quickly. That kicked off this advice book that brings in real-life stories from this mother/daughter trio and shares witty tips on dating, marriage, friends, money, and more. They also did a great job talking about women’s friendships. I loved how they called them "balcony friends" versus "front-row friends."

I have a bunch of quotes I thought were amazing. One time when they were talking about worrying, the author writes, “The Jewish mother lives to analyze and worry, the two being inexplicably intertwined. The Jewish mother is actually quite happy worrying. It’s the default setting in her computer.” Another thing that I loved is when they talked about dating and said, “You need to cycle through at least four seasons with the same guy to feel like you're really compatible.” Another favorite was when they gave a fashion tip, “Always bring a sweater. The Jewish mother is never without a sweater.” But this book isn't just about Jewish-isms, it's got great advice for everyone.

To listen to my interview with the authors, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/jil...

[Amy]

Let's start with the good: I liked the format of how it was written which was Gloria's point of view (mother), then Jill and Lisa (the daughters) following. Advice and stories related to Friendship, Dating, Health and Beauty, Education, Career, and Money, to name a few, are spotlighted. There's even photos from each person in big event times of their lives; that's always a nice way to break up the reading.

What I didn't like (AKA this made it seem more of a self-help book at that point): At the end of chapter, there were "Ask Yourself" questions related to the chapter. Ummm, no thanks, at least not for me.

Something I noticed. When I read the "Health and Beauty" chapter, Jill uses the term "food noise" and also refers to sharing her meals, etc. This wouldn't have even struck me had I not read Bethenny Frankel's Naturally Thin book, who talks about this as her approach to eating that she emparts to the reader. I guess I can conclude that Jill unleashes her skinnygirl.

[Meg]

When I started Reading this I thought it was good but then I got to be ok. There were some good points in it and some where I didn't think were necessary for the book. But overall I thought it was good not good where I would read it again. Maybe if I wanted to look back I would skim though and Look for some of the good points but I wouldn't read the whole book again. I think Jill Zarin and her sister and her mom did a good job at telling their stories.

[Laura]

I'd only recommend this if you're a fan of the RHONY. Jill is very outspoken and confident. This is mainly a walk down memory lane, and a reminder to have good manners and use common sense. The book isn't bad, though it's nothing revoluntionary. If you didn't know or care who the writers were, I'd think you'd be less interested, though.

[Suzanne Purewal]

Very nicely written. Enjoyed the personal stories and insights. And yes, Jewish and Italian mothers are very similar. I saw a lot of my family in the pages of the book. The only thing I wished the author had done was to add the pronunication notes in the Yiddish glossary section.

[Lisa Wexler]

Of course I did! Would you expect any less? If you get a chance, please let me know what you think at lisa@lisawexler.com. Love, Lisa

[Robin]

Interesting parts with a few snoozer bits. Did I learn any real wisdom? No...but I didn't really expect to.

[Jill Jacinto]

eh

[Jill]

After hearing Jill Zarin and Lisa Wexler speak at a fundraising event and finding them entertaining, I decided to read this book. It's light and good beach reading.

[Sara McCarthy]

A quick read. At times entertaining but not the best book ever. Fun!

[Y]

Borrowed this from the library. Usually interesting to hear other people's opinions about universal issues such as friendship, beauty and health. But nothing earth shattering, just a light read.

[Kelly]

I couldn't get into the book and it was hard to follow.