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It's Not Him, It's You!: How to Take Charge of Your Life and Create the Love and Intimacy You Deserve
Helping women who are looking to improve their love life to break out of bad relationship patterns and achieve long-lasting romance and sexual satisfaction, It's Not Him, It's You! is perfect for any woman who wants to take control of her love life and create the relationship she deserves. It's Not Him, It's You! assists single women and those already in relationships by identifying their damaging thought patterns, overcoming self-blame and lack of confidence, and acknowledging bad relationship choices so they're never repeated.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2010
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
December 13, 2010
Hang on while I slip out of my tight-lipped, shush-ing librarian persona, and into my sexy librarian persona! Dr. Laura Berman, the author of It’s Not Him, It’s You!, is most well-known for her TV appearances on Oprah and Dr. Oz, as well as for her own radio show on Chicago’s Oprah Radio. What I really like about Dr. Berman is that she offers a fresh take on the relationships and self-help genre, encouraging women and men to approach their relationships from a holistic perspective that includes both emotional and physical intimacy, with a little extra emphasis on the physical. She is candid, warm, and affirming about the subject, although readers may want to be cautioned that It’s Not Him, It’s You! is fairly explicit and includes intimate illustrations.
In her latest book, Dr. Berman has a special message for women: “Firstly, you must decide to take full responsibility for your relationships and for your life. Secondly, you must decide to stop blaming your partner or others for everything that goes wrong in your relationship.” It’s empowering advice, shored up from her years of first-hand experience helping couples in therapy. Via multiple-choice quizzes, illustrations, and short, readable chapters, Dr. Berman addresses modern topics such as Internet dating; the balancing act between family, career, and intimacy; and shifting domestic responsibilities between women and men at home. She even offers a primer on psychological issues that can be destructive to relationships, and suggests ways to seek treatment for these issues.
Her writing style will probably appeal to fun-loving women who like going out with their girlfriends, and whose special guys enjoy catching the game with their pals. In this way, It’s Not Him, It’s You! tends toward what I think of as a “classic” guy-girl relationship. But even if this doesn’t describe you or your relationship, Dr. Berman offers at least one take-away I think we can all benefit from: sometimes you just have to forget about those dirty dishes, slip into a hot bath, and simply enjoy the person you’re with. It's the key to taking charge of your life and creating "the love and intimacy you deserve"!
In her latest book, Dr. Berman has a special message for women: “Firstly, you must decide to take full responsibility for your relationships and for your life. Secondly, you must decide to stop blaming your partner or others for everything that goes wrong in your relationship.” It’s empowering advice, shored up from her years of first-hand experience helping couples in therapy. Via multiple-choice quizzes, illustrations, and short, readable chapters, Dr. Berman addresses modern topics such as Internet dating; the balancing act between family, career, and intimacy; and shifting domestic responsibilities between women and men at home. She even offers a primer on psychological issues that can be destructive to relationships, and suggests ways to seek treatment for these issues.
Her writing style will probably appeal to fun-loving women who like going out with their girlfriends, and whose special guys enjoy catching the game with their pals. In this way, It’s Not Him, It’s You! tends toward what I think of as a “classic” guy-girl relationship. But even if this doesn’t describe you or your relationship, Dr. Berman offers at least one take-away I think we can all benefit from: sometimes you just have to forget about those dirty dishes, slip into a hot bath, and simply enjoy the person you’re with. It's the key to taking charge of your life and creating "the love and intimacy you deserve"!
October 20, 2022
Laura Berman's books are one of our favorite books related to sex and intimacy. The quality of the book is amazing in terms of the varied topics and is very comprehensive. Although every book needs to have an audience we think it should equally speak to men as it does to men . That is why we wrote "The Perfumed Garden 2:: A Sensual Spiritual Sex Manual." But this review is not about our book. We want to say hats off to Dr. Berman for being one of our inspirations. There is so much more to sex that doesn't happen in the bedroom and books like this provide valuable insights. Check it out.
November 16, 2010
Laura Berman's book It's Not Him! It's You is like having your own sex and relationship therapist in the privacy of your own home. Having it available in your library will empower you to take steps to improving your love life.
The book covers many topics from dating, sex, long-term relationships, health issues, family, stress, etc. The way the different sections are structured makes it easy to read and great as a reference guide. The book is peppered with quizzes, lists, strategies, sexy photographic spreads, and thought-provoking essays. The target audience of this book is primarily women but men could read it as well. You can be single, in a casual relationship, in a long-term
relationship, married, divorced, it doesn't matter. It is pretty much guaranteed that regardless of your current romantic status that there are several sections of this book that will relate directly to you. It's evenly balanced and I didn't feel like it catered to one group of women over another. This is the type of book that women could easily share with their female firends and family members.
In my opinion, the main goal of the book is to help you not sabotage your relationship. Because let's face it, that's what many of us do. Both men and women have a tendency to destroy their relationships because they are scared or they don't put in the effort required to keep a relationship healthy and thriving. This book focuses on how women do that and how they can stop doing that and improve their love lives. I found it very empowering but several times throughout the book I would stop and wonder if "It's Not Her, It's You!" would ever be published.
The book covers many topics from dating, sex, long-term relationships, health issues, family, stress, etc. The way the different sections are structured makes it easy to read and great as a reference guide. The book is peppered with quizzes, lists, strategies, sexy photographic spreads, and thought-provoking essays. The target audience of this book is primarily women but men could read it as well. You can be single, in a casual relationship, in a long-term
relationship, married, divorced, it doesn't matter. It is pretty much guaranteed that regardless of your current romantic status that there are several sections of this book that will relate directly to you. It's evenly balanced and I didn't feel like it catered to one group of women over another. This is the type of book that women could easily share with their female firends and family members.
In my opinion, the main goal of the book is to help you not sabotage your relationship. Because let's face it, that's what many of us do. Both men and women have a tendency to destroy their relationships because they are scared or they don't put in the effort required to keep a relationship healthy and thriving. This book focuses on how women do that and how they can stop doing that and improve their love lives. I found it very empowering but several times throughout the book I would stop and wonder if "It's Not Her, It's You!" would ever be published.
November 24, 2013
Nicely written. The book covers a broad array of relationship topics to include: communication, raising kids, housework, sex, caring for elderly parent, fighting fairly, prioritizing our partner, household chores, when a women earns more money, infidelity, addictions, outside friendships, girl's night out, boy's night out, fantasies, keeping the bedroom spark, initiating sex "how to" and why, men and sex and more.
Well laid out. There are short questionnaires throughout, but I felt the correct answers were too obvious. I would have liked for more on dating after divorce, dating for the older man/woman, dating when the kids are not little anymore...I skipped over all the little kids stuff.
Loved reading about ways to get your groove back! Great suggestions. Loved reading about the better communication styles and the examples of communication that isn't not recommended and communication that sounds so much more mature and won't leave hurt feelings.
Nice graphics and pics throughout.
4 1/2 stars from This Reader!
Well laid out. There are short questionnaires throughout, but I felt the correct answers were too obvious. I would have liked for more on dating after divorce, dating for the older man/woman, dating when the kids are not little anymore...I skipped over all the little kids stuff.
Loved reading about ways to get your groove back! Great suggestions. Loved reading about the better communication styles and the examples of communication that isn't not recommended and communication that sounds so much more mature and won't leave hurt feelings.
Nice graphics and pics throughout.
4 1/2 stars from This Reader!
February 10, 2011
Sweet God! I read this in about 20 minutes. This is the sex therapist I love from Oprah and I thought the title was hilarious. It's like reading Cosmo magazine at first. Then it turns into Hustler! I couldn't believe they got away with having this at the library! I hope children don't get into it because there are a lot of explicit photos. Photos of beautiful women and terribly unattractive and poorly dressed men in various states of undress. Clearly, I did not read for content. I feel like she wrote things that are obvious, but I sure did enjoy the Lifetimey photos in the beginning.
April 25, 2011
get this book from the library, and put it on your side of the bed. it will make you look good, and the pictures in the book will occupy your troubled man's mind for a while. then, you won't *actually* have to do any of the *basic* ideas in this book.
simple book that covers subjects covered better in other books . . since it's a dorling kindersley book, it has more of a european flavour to it. there are pictures inside that are a bit more revealing than usual, but i like the fact that they use real people in them. (in other words, not all the women are skinny art models.)
simple book that covers subjects covered better in other books . . since it's a dorling kindersley book, it has more of a european flavour to it. there are pictures inside that are a bit more revealing than usual, but i like the fact that they use real people in them. (in other words, not all the women are skinny art models.)
January 10, 2011
A great go-to book on everything from self-confidence, marriage, friendships, relationships and parenting. It's wonderfully illistrated with pictures and fun quizzes and it keeps you interested. I found it very helpful. Does have some risky pictures that I kinda LOL'ed at. Something I would pass along to a friend....one that has an open mind!
August 15, 2011
This author delivered her expertise in the area of intimate relationships and I was very happy with the layout and easy access of each topic and subtopic. Great for research or for improving on the relationships currently developing in our collective lives. Laura Berman is an authority in the area of human sexuality; this book is a great asset to understanding your Love MAP.
June 2, 2014
Nothing new here that we haven't all read in Cosmo decades ago. I was shocked at what passes as reading material in our public library. There are many photos (beautifully done) that years ago would have been found only in Hustler magazine. Yowza! It is a fun, quick read but do NOT leave this book any place where young children might pick it up.
November 26, 2011
It's a good book for understanding why you do certain things as well as understanding the person you're with.I think guys should read this as well (no offense, Bob)or a book on "It's Not Her, It's You!".
February 16, 2011
its not him its you
Read
March 28, 2011Adult, self help book. Some graphic images of sex.
September 5, 2011
OY! good info ... well presented
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews