Ten Circles Upon the Pond: Reflections of a Prodigal Mother

by Virginia Tranel

A beautifully written collection of essays for anyone who’s ever lived in that unwieldy group called family—a story that takes us from Iowa to the high country of Wyoming and Montana as a woman and her husband search for the perfect place to raise their five daughters and five sons. 

Rooted in real-life experience, this unique essay collection of passion, intimacy, work, religion, puberty, love and loss, and the struggle to be steadfast in times of enormous social change reads like a novel—full of lively characters, spirited dialogue, and a landscape that takes you from Iowa to the high country of Wyoming and Montana. As the chapters unfold, one focused on each child, Virginia Tranel and her husband search for the ideal place to raise the five daughters and five sons born to them between 1957 and 1978.

Tranel artfully weaves daily moments with world events as she reflects on how our culture affects our decisions. She offers candid observations on everything from her reproductive choices and feminism's influence on her thinking to sibling rivalries and her family's emotional response when an architect son emails firsthand reports of the horrors of September 11. Whether considering the issues intrinsic to marriage and child-raising, or questioning her own common sense, her insights are always provocative and deeply moving.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Family

337 pages, Paperback

First published April 22, 2003

Reviews

[Mandy]

This was a reread for me, as a way of dealing with my recent bouts of anxiety. I appreciate it even more now than I did when I first read it, not long after Henry was born. There's a lot to inspire here, about balancing self and marriage and motherhood, even for those of us who don't have ten (!) kids.

[Lisa]

Interesting view on parenting, on feminism, motherhood...family dynamics etc.

[Lisa of Hopewell]

Reminds me of Madeline L'Engles Crosswicks Journals.....

[Ruth]

Mrs. Tranel is the mother of ten kids. She and her husband are Iowa Catholics, they get married in 1957, and start having kids for the next twenty years, raising the family in mostly Montana and Wyoming. The last kid is born 1978.

The book is well written, and Mrs. Tranel is intelligent, and well versed. She is a caring and thoughtful mother. She quotes Jung and Shakespeare. While I admire the author, I don’t think this is a great book. It is too short, too gracious, it skips over so much. It reminds me of the quote from a poem “Kathe Kollwitz” by Muriel Rukeyser. The quote is “what would happen if one woman told the truth about her life? /The world would split open.”


Not many women, and mothers in particular, want their world to split open, I understand. It is how one survives. Step around the big stuff, such as the dissonance between being a housewife and Catholic Mother during the social and political upheavals of the sixties and seventies. Don’t get too immersed in figuring out the racial and economic politics of living on and working for an impoverished Crow community in Montana as part of the white, educated infrastructure. Let’s not dissect her subservience to her husband’s career that requires moves and sacrifices and lots of driving in snow.


Because the author doesn't delve into anything, it is supremely unsatisfying. Part of the issue is the book is limited to ten chapters-one for each kid. How sweet and how convenient. It kind of lets her off the hook. It was sad that she and her husband snubbed her daughter’s (non-Catholic) wedding, but no need to dwell. Mrs Tranel receives judgement from strangers and mistreatment from male ob/gyn docs, but that is just another anecdote squeezed between the births and moves.

Her tales of motherhood are entertaining enough. She consults that old classic Dr. Spock, whose advice seems sensible and helpful. She understands the lunacy of educational trends that swing back and forth. She finally got a clothes dryer around kid number five.


When one of her daughters if five years old, Mrs. Tranel takes her into town for a birthday party. The little girl tells her mom that this is the only time they have ever been alone together. Mrs. Tranel is shocked by this. She shouldn’t be—at this point she has seven kids and left a a 3-year-old and 8-month-old home watched by her husband (who seems supportive enough and involved).

Not surprisingly, there is a healthy dose of Catholic sexual repression. At one point, the author tells her daughter: “Casual sex is an oxymoron” and I get peeved. Okay, baby machine, maybe accept there are other ways to live. Her young twenties daughter Monica comes through for a visit with a dude. The author complains about this indignity--at least her older kids, if they did such thing, “shrewdly kept it to their selves”. Stupid two-faced Catholic idiocy, I know it well. Hale Monica for being freaking honest. Sorry oldsters, people have sex. Give it a rest. Stop wanting everyone to pretend and lie so your small minded view of the world is not disrupted.

In conclusion, while not a fascinating exploration, it is a pleasant walk. Nothing wrong with that. At the end of her book, she has enjoyment of grandchildren, traveling, writing. So that is cool.

[Dr. Sabrina Molden]

Interesting and inspirational. Still not sure how she did it all though.

[Colleen]

This is a must read for every mother or anyone who grew up in a family with siblings. I loved it! It was thoughtful, funny, and beautifully written. It was proof that you can raise ten children and still have some brain cells left. I'm definiitely going to give it to my two sisters to read.

[Jessica]

Enjoyable memoir about a woman who had ten children, although it doesn't provide an equal amount of stories about each child, leaving it a little uneven.

[Molly]

This is a fun book about a MOm raising 10 kids. It is a little out of touch with how families are today, but very helpful in some family strategies.

[Susie]

loved this book! Went to college with a couple of these Tranels - a tender and affirming read.