Water Bugs and Dragonflies: Explaining Death to Young Children

by Doris Stickney, Gloria Claudia Ortiz (Illustrator)

How can we answer the many questions young children have about death? Doris Stickney and her minister husband were looking for a meaningful way to explain to neighborhood children the death of a five-year-old friend -- an explanation that would satisfy not only the children but adult minds as well. While they were preparing for the child's memorial service, the fable of the water bug that changed into a dragonfly came to mind. "Water Bugs and Dragonflies" tells the story of a small colony of water bugs living happily below the surface of a quiet pond. Every so often one of them climbs up a lily stalk and disappears from sight, never to return. Those left behind are faced with the mystery of figuring out what has become of them. Revealing the "miracle that makes shiny dragonflies out of ugly bugs", this graceful story reminds us that God has given us the means of transforming our metaphorical selves into dragonflies capable of winging off contentedly into a new world. Recognizing that "the old answers will not satisfy today's children", Stickney presents instead a simple, wise tale that illuminates a difficult reality without pretending to contain all the answers. This bona fide bestseller -- more than 150,000 copies have been printed -- is presented here in a deluxe gift edition, including newly rendered full-color illustrations. Set in large type so that young readers can enjoy it themselves, Water Bugs also includes accompanying information that offers the author's own insights for explaining how adults can effectively assist children in coping with death.

Genres: Grief, Death, Nonfiction, Childrens, Parenting, Science, Christianity

26 pages, Hardcover

First published August 1, 1982

Reviews

[Susannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend this book. See my full review here-
http://teaandtheology.com/book-review...

[Kerrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

...and a timely, gentle reminder for adults.

[Claire Lyons · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful - will be reading this at our sons funeral

[Amia Cumbee · Rating 4 out of 5]

While I originally purchased this book for an analytical paper in my anthropology of death and dying class, I found myself pleasantly surprised by it. Easily digestible and accessible to a variety of people, beliefs, faiths, or lack thereof. I will be keeping this book for future.

[Sherry · Rating 3 out of 5]

Gift for the girls, used by ministry in dealing with grief in young children. Too you g for my girls.

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thoughtful book about transformation and change (aka death). Gives a fresh and kind perspective to children and adults and an alternate thought process. Very short, very sweet, nicely written.

[Beth]

Charming tale to help children understand death.

[Matthew RC · Rating 5 out of 5]

An interesting little fable that my kids didn’t really take to surprisingly but I felt it was an elegant allegory.

[Melissa Salsgiver · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found easing of pain as an adult. Not just for children.

[Anne Hillion · Rating 4 out of 5]

I felt it could help children understand death and I like the questions and how you can use tge book at tge end. I now want to have a copy of " Badgers parting gift'

[Mrs Gemma Murphy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant for helping young people explore their own thoughts around death

[Clare · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a beautiful book, the best we have come across for explaining death to young children. The main story is not exactly spiritual but is an allegory of life that is compatible with Christianity, the notes and scripture references that follow the story explain its symbolism.

The waterbugs notice that every so often, one of their number decides to walk up the stem of a water lily above the surface of the water, and they never return. They make a group decision that the next one to go up the stem will come back down and tell the others what's above. One day a little waterbug finds himself walking up the stem, and when he lies on the lilypad the sun is so warm that he goes into a deep sleep. When he awakes, he has grown wings - he has become a dragonfly! He is so excited flying about, and only just remembers his promise to the other waterbugs to tell them what happened. He dives down to the water, but finds he cannot break the surface - his wings prevent him from going below. Since he can't get to his friends, he realises they will just have to find out in their own time about the wonderful world above the water.

The perfect analogy for death being a change, not an ending, to life. www.GoodReadingGuide.com

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

With a much loved family member slowly slipping away from us, I needed help explaining death to my kids, ages 10, 7, and 4. A friend who has suffered losses recommended this book and Tear Soup.

Simplistic in it's ideas, this children's book illustrates the change that happens with death, keeping in line with our beliefs that death is not an ending at all and that we will be reunited. But there is a separation. And sometimes those left behind just don't understand.

I think this book will be of most help to my youngest. The older kids might relate better to Tear Soup, even though the two books have different perspectives on death and grieving. Tear Soup is more for those that are grieving while Waterbugs and Dragonflies focuses on the death and change that comes with it.

[Barb · Rating 3 out of 5]

Talking about death is never easy; talking about death with children is awful. I liked this book for its simplicity and yet a possible explanation of what happens next without getting into heaven/religious grown-up speak. I was pleasantly surprised at the feeling I had for the dragonfly when he realized that he could not return as promised to tell everyone what happened. Could this be confusing for kids? Perhaps, because the dragonfly didn't die nor really did the water bug; it changed and became something else. I kind of like that idea but not sure if kids would get it and wonder if they might start looking elsewhere for their "missing" loved one.

[Shirley · Rating 4 out of 5]

While not told on a spiritual level, this story can be adapted to explain to children, whether with a religious context or not, the concept of death and moving on.

What I like about this story is the simplicity of the concept. It is not complex and allows children to visualize the similarities between humans and the characters in this short story. There is a section at the back to guide parents/caregivers through explaining death in a more spiritual manner, if desired. Overall, it is a wonderful aid to help children with the loss of a loved one.

[Laura · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was disappointed by this book. I think partly because I had to wait a long time to get a copy of it and had high expectations. The book itself looks very self-published. And the text was in a cheesy Comic Sans font. To me it was not a "gentle" explanation of death for children. I felt it was too vague, especially for very young children. Also it really presents a christian perspective on an afterlife and doesn't necessarily deal with the death itself.

[Marcia · Rating 1 out of 5]

A fable that explains death to children using water bugs who transform to dragonflies. The idea is that dragonflies can never return underwater to visit the water bugs, just as one who has died cannot return to life. I didn't like it at all, I don't think it works as a fable and think it will confuse kids. I'm surprised it was on many recommended reading lists for books that help children deal with death.

[Genaphur · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the best books I have ever come across on how to explain death to small children. It's a story book to read to them and it has a nice little questions answers section in the back to further help explain how the child might be feeling with the lose of a loved one.

I got this book for Rory when her grandpa died last year and I think it helped me just as much as it helped her. This is one book I will hand out over and over.

[Kristi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Purchased for my nieces, but read it before I mailed it to them. A simple & sweet story that provides comfort and understanding after the passing of a loved one. I highly recommend this book to anyone, any age.

[Amy Cottrell · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is a very simple parable explaining death to children. Interesting and clever but not particularly relatable for my children. I don't think they understood very well. This might work better if my children were a little older.

[Jennifer Lindsay]

My sponsor recommended this book to me. It's about explaining death to young children but adults will appreciate and love it too.

[Hazel]

Recommended by a colleague. This uses insect metamorphosis as a parable for death.

[Tyana Gonzales · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed the simplicity of this book. It explains death in such a beautiful way that is easier for children to understand.

[Paula · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book brings tears to my eyes when ever I read it. It puts things in perspective. I have such a new respect for dragonflies.

[Therese · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great little book to help understanding death.

[Kate Ellis · Rating 5 out of 5]

As part of my "Read 50 books in my 51st year challenge" I decided to read this again. It is a small book that I have given to several friends to help them when talking to a youngster about death. I highly recommend it.