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Getting Good Loving: Seven Ways to Find Love and Make it Last
Written by noted authority and radio show host Audrey Chapman, this release of Getting Good Loving is a revised and updated new edition of one of the most successful relationship guides for African Americans ever published. Examining case studies and first-person accounts from black men and women, Audrey Chapman offers sensible and sensitive solutions for their relationship problems and shows how black men and women can get more of what everyone needs — good loving.
- GenresNonfictionSelf Help
188 pages, Paperback
First published February 15, 1995
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October 13, 2009"The first step toward achieving a better relationship is attaining a greater understanding of yourself."
Honestly, I am not into "self help" books and placed this book on the back burner for months simply because I had preconceived notions on what it was about and the advice it contained. Nonetheless, I picked it up with an open mind and was really surprised that this book was much better than I thought - I learned a lot! The author, a noted lecturer and therapist, discusses harmful socialized behavior, traits, habits, and environmental circumstances that I instantly recognized within my family, friends, and myself. However, the most important and helpful aspects of the book are the jewels of knowledge and positive approaches to overcome those behaviors and thoughts that were sprinkled through the book.
Chapman unabashedly peels back the proverbial onion to expose superficial issues that cover the underlying sources of tension in relationships - particularly African American relationships. The multifaceted aspects of high (and sometimes unrealistic) expectations, economics, education, chauvinistic attitudes, black male shortage, etc. combine to make the dating and mating situations even more tremulous and complex. The author examines and points out historical and current circumstances in African American culture that yields adults with voids and needs for emotional closeness. She proposes how popular societal messages often reinforce negative images and thoughts about marriage and commitment and goes a step further to cite how families, churches, academic institutions have failed black women and men in their efforts to make relationships work better.
This book is intelligently written and loaded with sound, solid advice - often times she alludes to what could probably be considered "common sense" but subtlety inserts academic and scholarly sources to support her views or observations. What I thought was interesting was it seems like a great deal of the negative or problematic behavior brought to relationships stem from childhood experiences and the nature of relationships between parents and children (i.e. childrearing practices). She encourages positive-thinking by looking inward first and offers tips for couples to connect on different levels, techniques to offer emotional and verbal support, how to block out external destructive forces, and develop fortitude for the "tough" times. Individuals and couples can benefit from this book -- it is a great resource for all genders whether single, dating, or married.
Honestly, I am not into "self help" books and placed this book on the back burner for months simply because I had preconceived notions on what it was about and the advice it contained. Nonetheless, I picked it up with an open mind and was really surprised that this book was much better than I thought - I learned a lot! The author, a noted lecturer and therapist, discusses harmful socialized behavior, traits, habits, and environmental circumstances that I instantly recognized within my family, friends, and myself. However, the most important and helpful aspects of the book are the jewels of knowledge and positive approaches to overcome those behaviors and thoughts that were sprinkled through the book.
Chapman unabashedly peels back the proverbial onion to expose superficial issues that cover the underlying sources of tension in relationships - particularly African American relationships. The multifaceted aspects of high (and sometimes unrealistic) expectations, economics, education, chauvinistic attitudes, black male shortage, etc. combine to make the dating and mating situations even more tremulous and complex. The author examines and points out historical and current circumstances in African American culture that yields adults with voids and needs for emotional closeness. She proposes how popular societal messages often reinforce negative images and thoughts about marriage and commitment and goes a step further to cite how families, churches, academic institutions have failed black women and men in their efforts to make relationships work better.
This book is intelligently written and loaded with sound, solid advice - often times she alludes to what could probably be considered "common sense" but subtlety inserts academic and scholarly sources to support her views or observations. What I thought was interesting was it seems like a great deal of the negative or problematic behavior brought to relationships stem from childhood experiences and the nature of relationships between parents and children (i.e. childrearing practices). She encourages positive-thinking by looking inward first and offers tips for couples to connect on different levels, techniques to offer emotional and verbal support, how to block out external destructive forces, and develop fortitude for the "tough" times. Individuals and couples can benefit from this book -- it is a great resource for all genders whether single, dating, or married.
October 16, 2013
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