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The Germ Freak's Guide to Outwitting Colds and Flu: Guerilla Tactics to Keep Yourself Healthy at Home, at Work and in the World
Admit it, you either are one or you know a person who prefers the scent of Purell to perfume, hates public restroom toilets and pushes elevator buttons with their elbow. In a word (well, two), a “Germ Freak.” Well guess what—they’re right!
In the bestselling tradition of the The Paranoid's Pocket Guide and The Worst Case Scenario Handbook , Allison Janse—a committed Germ Freak—gives readers the lowdown on how to avoid the common cold and survive flu season with your health and sanity intact. This is the practical information your doctor won’t give you (they always say not to worry and may be giving you the latest bug by not washing their hands when they examine you!), but which you’re almost literally dying to know, such
- How clean is my office desk? (In terms of germs, it’s better to eat off a toilet seat)
- Do I have to shake that snotty person’s hand? (The new etiquette says no)
- Are my hygiene products killing me? (No, but some increase your risk of illness)
- How do I get out of a public restroom without contamination? (Here’s a five-step plan)
- What is the best way to wash my hands? (You have two detailed options)
- Am I the only germ freak in America? (Don’t worry, 48% of women either use the toilet guard or make their own)
- Why didn’t anyone tell me about The New Respiratory Etiquette? (Yes, it’s real,and it’s specifically designed for Germ Freaks just like you)
Germ Freaks unite! This book will help unenlightened germspreaders get a clue…or at least a HandiWipe…and prove to the world that, in the end, it’s far better to be safe than sorry.
Are You a Germfreak? Some Ways to Tell
* Your exit strategy from a public bathroom rivals an NFL playbook
* Your family and friends think Purell is your scent
* You check elevator riders for anyone who is sniffling and opt for the stairs— even though you're going to the Penthouse
* You turn all public bathroom faucets with a piece of tissue
* You avoid buffets that don’t have 10-foot-high GermGuard barriers
* You think BYOB means bring your own bathroom hand towels
* You only go to afternoon (or really bad) movies because they’re less crowded
If you answered yes to any one of these questions, you're on your way to becoming a Germ freak.
If you answered yes to two or more, congratulations, you're a full-fledged freak.
In the bestselling tradition of the The Paranoid's Pocket Guide and The Worst Case Scenario Handbook , Allison Janse—a committed Germ Freak—gives readers the lowdown on how to avoid the common cold and survive flu season with your health and sanity intact. This is the practical information your doctor won’t give you (they always say not to worry and may be giving you the latest bug by not washing their hands when they examine you!), but which you’re almost literally dying to know, such
- How clean is my office desk? (In terms of germs, it’s better to eat off a toilet seat)
- Do I have to shake that snotty person’s hand? (The new etiquette says no)
- Are my hygiene products killing me? (No, but some increase your risk of illness)
- How do I get out of a public restroom without contamination? (Here’s a five-step plan)
- What is the best way to wash my hands? (You have two detailed options)
- Am I the only germ freak in America? (Don’t worry, 48% of women either use the toilet guard or make their own)
- Why didn’t anyone tell me about The New Respiratory Etiquette? (Yes, it’s real,and it’s specifically designed for Germ Freaks just like you)
Germ Freaks unite! This book will help unenlightened germspreaders get a clue…or at least a HandiWipe…and prove to the world that, in the end, it’s far better to be safe than sorry.
Are You a Germfreak? Some Ways to Tell
* Your exit strategy from a public bathroom rivals an NFL playbook
* Your family and friends think Purell is your scent
* You check elevator riders for anyone who is sniffling and opt for the stairs— even though you're going to the Penthouse
* You turn all public bathroom faucets with a piece of tissue
* You avoid buffets that don’t have 10-foot-high GermGuard barriers
* You think BYOB means bring your own bathroom hand towels
* You only go to afternoon (or really bad) movies because they’re less crowded
If you answered yes to any one of these questions, you're on your way to becoming a Germ freak.
If you answered yes to two or more, congratulations, you're a full-fledged freak.
- GenresNonfictionHumor
194 pages, Paperback
First published September 15, 2005
26 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
November 5, 2019
I read this as part of my yearly attempt to assuage my anxiety over the approach of stomach flu season -- which has only become more pronounced now that I am the mother of a toddler with horrible hygiene habits.
It didn't do much to assist me, as there was only one page specifically devoted to Norovirus and that page didn't include any information about how to best avoid/eradicate it. (WHERE IS THAT DAMN NOROVIRUS VACCINE!?!?) Basically, this book tells you to wash your hands a lot, to disinfect surfaces a lot, and that the world is a pretty disgusting place to live. I'm a bit of a germ freak, but even I'm not willing to wash my towels after every use. I mean, what's the point of even putting them out? Plus, there wasn't much evidence to mitigate the hysteria, like the fact that the germs in your own house are so familiar to your immune system that they are very unlikely to make you sick (thus my horrible housekeeping ...)
Being a germ freak is unfortunately at odds with other things I care about, like the environment and frugality. (The most sanitary thing to do is to use disposable everything ... but I cringe at the cost, both financially and ecologically.) Overall, I took away some interesting stats about how gross human beings are, but not much useful that I'm either a) not already doing or b) not willing to do.
It didn't do much to assist me, as there was only one page specifically devoted to Norovirus and that page didn't include any information about how to best avoid/eradicate it. (WHERE IS THAT DAMN NOROVIRUS VACCINE!?!?) Basically, this book tells you to wash your hands a lot, to disinfect surfaces a lot, and that the world is a pretty disgusting place to live. I'm a bit of a germ freak, but even I'm not willing to wash my towels after every use. I mean, what's the point of even putting them out? Plus, there wasn't much evidence to mitigate the hysteria, like the fact that the germs in your own house are so familiar to your immune system that they are very unlikely to make you sick (thus my horrible housekeeping ...)
Being a germ freak is unfortunately at odds with other things I care about, like the environment and frugality. (The most sanitary thing to do is to use disposable everything ... but I cringe at the cost, both financially and ecologically.) Overall, I took away some interesting stats about how gross human beings are, but not much useful that I'm either a) not already doing or b) not willing to do.
June 11, 2025
this book marks the beginning of my self-help bender on my 8h flight back to the states. inspired to read this for the sake of creating a more hospitable apartment in the summer, i was instead reminded of how dated this was when the author generalized the entirety of asian cuisine as less hygienic to spaghetti and italian gastronomy
November 15, 2017
As an environmental microbiologist, I approve of this book! It has a good amount of humor and isn't afraid to poke fun at germophobes.
December 8, 2019
Eew. I may never see public bathrooms the same way again. =)
November 12, 2021
It was a really good book, very informative! In this day and age of COVID-19 this book is one everyone should read. Happy Reading. Donna.
January 8, 2011
This book is very well written, and the author uses humor to get the point across--even though germs are no laughing matter. A lot of the information in this fun, short book is common sense. Wash Your Hands! I'm always completely floored when I see people walk right past the sink and out the door after using the toilet. What!? So gross. I am definitely a latent germ freak rather than a blatant one, but I'm not ashamed to admit that I prefer to steer clear of mucus-spewing people who refuse to believe they are grossing people out and making everyone sick, literally! I'm a constant hand washer--at home and when I'm out and about. This book covers all areas of our lives, and it gives good advice on how to at least try to avoid as much germiness as possible. This book also stresses that sick people should take the responsibility of avoiding the public if possible. Stay home if you're hacking and using four boxes of Kleenex a day--or at least try to keep from touching people and spreading the germs if you can't stay home. Since most people insist on spreading their wealth of germs, it's always a good refresher to read books like this one to remind us that there are many ways to try and stay healthy! This book also references some interesting and useful websites!
October 15, 2008
This is one of my most favorite books ever...yet it scares the life outta me too! If you're the type to overly obsess over germs, this is not the book for you!! If you like some good "healthy" humor, this is right up your alley. As a nursing instructor, I use parts of this book in my class quite often. It's getting to the point that I'm scaring my students about all the germs in the environment!
I do think that the writer went a little overboard on some of the things that she mentions. However, most of it is good, useful information!
Enjoy reading...but make sure you wash your hands after turning each page!!
I do think that the writer went a little overboard on some of the things that she mentions. However, most of it is good, useful information!
Enjoy reading...but make sure you wash your hands after turning each page!!
December 30, 2008
Ben bought this book for me as a bit of a joke because I could qualify as a "germ freak" in some circles :) Now he says it may be his dumbest purchase ever - but the truth is that this book didn't give me many ideas I haven't already thought of myself. This should be required reading for everyone! It comes down to two main points - wash your hands, repeat, repeat, repeat . . . and stay home if you are sick - don't infect the rest of us! Nothing groundbreaking but it was a funny book - it's good for us germ freaks to laugh at ourselves (and unite!). The last line of the book is: "Better safe than sick!"
April 3, 2015
A very informative book, but I can't say that I agree with everything stated in it. For example, in the book it is stated not to use the paper seat-covers provided in public restrooms, their reasoning being that one cannot put it on the seat without touching the seat, & if one is going to get germs, better on their derriere, than on their fingers. I, for one, do not find it so difficult to avoid touching the seat when positioning a toilet seat cover. And if more than one is used, so much the better!
Want to read
March 3, 2016 616.205 JAN
May 26, 2008
I loved it. Well written in plain English and funny! Full of practical ways to avoid germs and viruses. Definitely fed my germ freak.
June 9, 2008
I really enjoyed this "guide". I have learned how to clean better and that true antibacteria soap would eat the skin of your hands. I also realize my sister has a problem...haha.
November 15, 2009
Simple to read--definitely some new stuff I didn't know. I might have given this book a 3 star but I keep quoting stuff I've learned from it. Yikes! I just might be becoming a germ freak!!
November 24, 2014
This was a great hilarious book and I'm proud to say that I am a germ freak. It had a couple facts I didn't know in it but if u could stand a laugh or two this is a good book for you
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews