Here's the Situation: A Guide to Creeping on Chicks, Avoiding Grenades, and Getting in Your GTL on the Jersey Shore

by Mike Sorrentino, Chris Millis

Do you think that you know "The Situation"? Take the quiz and find out.Here's how to get your situation up to the level of the Situation

Listen, dawg. You're probably hitting the gym, doing your tanning, and picking up fresh laundry every day. And maybe you've had some success beating up the beat and creeping on chicks in the club. But do you really think your situation is where it needs to be? Be honest with yourself, bro.

This book here will take your game to a level thought unattainable, given your physical limitations (because we can't all look like Rambo, pretty much, with our shirt off). We start with GTL-the bedrock of life itself. And then we hit the GTL Remix-the rules for getting your personal grooming did. From there it's my guide to the Jersey Shore, battle plans for the club, a primer on grenades and wingmen, and tips for ridding yourself of all levels of clinger. Then I look at the big picture: how to cook the perfect lasagna, how to find a life partner, and how to deal with being one of the most famous people on the planet-which is guaranteed if you follow my advice.

This is the bible for Situation Nation. Read it, live it, and crush it.

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor

144 pages, Paperback

First published November 2, 2010

About the author

Michael Sorrentino, publicly known by his nickname The Situation, is an American television personality, model and author who appeared on the MTV reality show Jersey Shore starting in 2009.

Reviews

[Tim · Rating 3 out of 5]

I mean, where do I start? The book is TERRIBLE. Yet why did I rate it Three Stars? Well, it easily falls into the "So Bad It's Good" territory. I'm pretty sure the ghost writer, since I'm not even sure the Situation is literate, must have known this would be an easy paycheck and tried to have fun with it.

I can almost picture the meetings leading up the publication of this. Did The Situation have editorial control? Did he do the hilariously terrible drawings himself or did he outsource it the ghost writer's child?

I'm not sure there's a book that I've read lately where I had to put it down and shake my head at how offensive it is. I mean, it's like a juvenile version of misogyny that you just want to say "Hey, that's not just offensive but do you REALLY believe this crap?" I think the last time I had to put a book down, sit there and feel weird reading it, and then pick it back up just to see how it ends was an Ayn Rand book.

Yet the difference is that this is basically something you can read on a twenty minute bus ride, as long as you don't mind people seeing you're reading The Situation's book, autographed nonetheless!

It's a stupid book. You'll forget about it until you see it on your shelf again. Then you'll pick it up, turn to a random page, and remember why it was stupid in the first place. Zero useful advice unless you act like Opposite George.

It was a gift. Why the hell not, you know?

[Shep]

I died laughing when I read the summary.

No.

Just no.

[Gavin Fury · Rating 1 out of 5]

We all know that this was ghost-written, and though I usually scoff at the thought of such a thing I'm sure the "help" Sitch got in this book's composition is entirely responsible for any grammar/spelling/coherent thoughts (even more so than in other books that have helpers, right Shania Twain?). I'm not going to waste time judging people for reading this shit because chances are if you enjoy this sort of thing then reading isn't particularly for you. That's not to say that reading is some elevated intellectual process and is so beyond the ability of a Jersey Shore fan, only that I understand that said fan realizes that leaving their eyes open long enough to read puts them in significant danger of getting sperm blasted into them. And not that I've had any experience, but I can imagine that burns more than a vodka and red bull can distract you from.

No this is mostly a warning to an entirely different kind of douche bag that is closer to the kind of douche bag I am. If you're out to read this ironically, don't. Not worth it. At best, the quips about "crushing it" you pass around with your hipster friends or local band scene will be paid for in high blood pressure and condescending rage. Seriously. This books reads like a piece of terrorist training camp propaganda. The title could be easily changed to "Why it's OK to Kill Americans." At least that would match the cover.

[Katie Wall · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book was worth it just for the pattern to make an ab pillow.

[Sarah Gross · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have no idea if this book is supposed to be tongue-in-cheek or not, but I can't stop laughing. It's absolutely hysterical. Best Christmas present ever! And hey, we are all allowed to read "junk", sometimes. :)

[Heather Clitheroe · Rating 1 out of 5]

There is a cartoon illustration of sperm heading for an egg: the moment just before the world was blighted with The Situation. It is, I think, the metaphor for this book: that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

A classic for our time! Kidding, kidding. Really though, this is hilarious and he's in on the joke. Say what you will, he's laughing all the way to the bank. Let's just hope he invests well.

[Bethany · Rating 2 out of 5]

Lmaoooo

[Michael · Rating 1 out of 5]

Mike Sorrentino, aka "The Situation", made a name for himself...and sold the shit out of it. Using his nickname/catch phrase, he rode to the front of the Jersey Shore cast, being matched only by everyone's "favorite" diminutive dimwit Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi. Not content with merely being on people's TV screens, "Sitch" decided to "drop the knowledge" on the public in print form. With his assigned collaborator, he set out to create, "the Bible to the Situation Nation". I for one can honestly say that if this is the Bible to an entire nation of people, I'm all for starting a good old fashioned crusade.

If you're interested, you can read the rest of the review here: http://thebookishkind.blogspot.com/20...

[Melissa Rochelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was HILARIOUS, but I can't give this more than two stars because it was also TERRIBLE.

The Situation really is an idiot and I don't for a second believe that he wrote or typed a single word of this book. However, it's also filled with advice...advice a guy should disregard or just do the opposite of!

If you want to laugh and are a fan of Jersey Shore, read it...otherwise, ignore it.

[Jason · Rating 1 out of 5]

I knew going in that this was truly a waste of time. Intentionally comic in nature, or so I hope, it filled just moment of my life with absurd idiocy. Don't waste your time, unless you have time you truly can spare for mindless reading. My jaw dropped at how crazy it was.

[Adrian · Rating 2 out of 5]

On a lark I ordered every book authored by a Jersey Shore cast member. I figured I power through them in some sort of moronic reading marathon. Just finished "Here's the Situation" by "The Situation". There were a couple funny parts but overall it was pretty terrible.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was hilarious, whether or not it was intended to be! The only thing that could have made this book funnier was if it was an audiobook read by the author.

[Rawand]

Incredible

[Chloe · Rating 1 out of 5]

This month's bad book club pick. It wasn't good, but I got through it. I think the most frustrating part was that it wasn't authentic for what it was. Mike was perhaps consulted slightly for this book, but clearly not a word did he write (or read for that matter). It tries to be funny but is just irritating, crass, and unmemorable. It takes elements of "the Situation" but overwrites and over explains every story. It is also too self-aware and while Mike has some elements of self-awareness, it is nothing to this degree. It is as though one of the producers of Jersey Shore were writing the book from his own perspective. It showcases only the character of the Situation as portrayed on MTV, yet pretends to be the real Sorrentino. What is even the point of this publication? It isn't good and it isn't real. This book will have no lasting impact on my life. I would love to forget about it but I'm still amazed that the cheapest I could get it for used was $10.

"God grant me the stamina to satisfy hot chicks, the courage to deny grenades, and the wisdom to know the difference."

[Liz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Here is why I gave it three stars. It's so ridiculous, it's funny. You know "The Situation" is completely serious about everything he wrote, which to me makes the book even funnier.

Don't judge me.

[Debbie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this was funny. It was the situation as the situation. I had a lot of laughs in the 1.5 hours it took to read the book. An entertaining quick read.

[Lauren · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very good at describing how to tan and fist pump effectively, I've been doing it all wrong! I think that women have to deal with waaaay more grenades than men though.

[Bari]

Amazing.

[Shannon Hertz · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's cheesy and fun. I expected a little more content (there were lots of pictures) but other than that it lives up to all pre-conceived ideas about it. It's a really quick read.

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny, ridiculous, and amazing read.
Quick read for fans of the Jersey Shore who don't mind a joke and enjoy laughing.
Loved it. Oh the Situation how you kill me.

[Jarrett · Rating 4 out of 5]

I gave this book 4 stars because I thought it was entertaining and that's why we read right? To be entertained. If you like the Jersey Shore MTV show, you will like this book.

[Eric · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was awful....don't waste your time

[Chelsea · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you like Jersey Shore, then this is right up your alley. I laughed through it because it's written in typical Situation fashion. Not meant to be taken seriously, but definitely a fun read.

[Judi · Rating 1 out of 5]

garbage

[Kat Ice · Rating 1 out of 5]

I will be putting a small review in my march reads video so check that out... youtube.com/kwells7788

[KarenMichelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had to do it, when I saw it just lying around I had to read it. It gets two stars because his ridiculousness made me laugh once instead of just rolling my eyes.

[Just A Ginger · Rating 2 out of 5]

LOL this book. Who could take it seriously? It was a fun quick read, I read snooki's book so I had to read The Situations book. Snooki's was much better.

[Kurt Faulhammer]

Took my creeping game up a notch. Thank you Sitch!

[Dudley · Rating 2 out of 5]

An amusing little book, but I'm hoping Snooki's book is better.