On Becoming Preschool Wise: Optimizing Educational Outcomes What Preschoolers Need to Learn

by Gary Ezzo, Robert Bucknam

Who can understand the mind of a preschooler?  26 year Pediatrician Dr. Robert Bucknam, M.D. and co-author Gary Ezzo, M.A. believe that YOU CAN!    Above all else, a preschooler is a learner. His amazing powers of reasoning and discrimination are awakened through a world of play and imagination. Through home relationships, he learns about love, trust, comfort, and security; through friends he learns to measure himself against a world of peers; and through unconditional love, a child establishes his own unique selfhood. The growth period between ages three and five years is all about learning, and  On Becoming Preschoolwise  is all about helping parents create the right opportunities and best environment to optimize their child's learning potential.   From teaching about the importance of play to learning how to prepare a preschooler for the first day of school, from organizing your child's week to understanding childhood fears and calming parental anxiety, sound advice and practical application await the reader. You will find this resource as practical as it is informative, curative as much as it is encouraging.Come join 26 year Pediatrician Dr. Robert Bucknam, M.D. and co-author Gary Ezzo, M.A. and the community of 6 million homes in all 50 states and around the world that are finding peace and success with their children in the  On Becoming  best selling series!Stage  Birth to 5 months--  On Becoming Babywise Stage 5 to 12 months --  On Becoming Babywise 11 Stage  12 - 18 months --  On Becoming Pretoddlerwise Stage  18 - 36 months --  On Becoming Toddlerwise Stage  36 months - 84 months --  On Becoming Childwise

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Self Help

243 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2004

Reviews

[Allison · Rating 4 out of 5]

A few things. First, the subtitle is really misleading--this book is less about making sure your child is academically prepared for school than a guide to wise parenting, discipline, and character formation.
Secondly, as I anticipated, much of the information in this book is the same or similar to that in Toddlerwise and Childwise by the same authors. Nonetheless, the information is valuable, and I did find it helpful given the emphasis on the developmental capacities and needs of children between three and five. In particular, I liked his emphasis on imaginative play; and
the point that many "moral formation" skills are actually necessary for children to learn and succeed in school--skills such as self-control, cooperative play, sustained attention and focus, respect for others, and delayed gratification. And I like that they give concrete ideas for developing those skills in your child, and how to build them into the structure of your day. Some of their research is out-of-date (for instance, static IQ), and their "gender-specific toy" section in the appendix seems a bit limited, but overall I was very pleased with this book. Ezzo's approach has worked very well thus far for parenting my "strong-willed child," and I am glad to find more useful strategies for applying his philosophies to this age bracket.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can see how some mothers would read this and think the authors are complete Nazi parents. But I really like the structure of their parenting advice. I have read all the books in their series (up to my daughter's age) and I like how it makes me feel a little bit more sane and in control than I probably really am. I like that it really focuses on manners and raising a self-aware, curious, and respectful child and that it builds on the foundation that their previous books build. They must have something right because Maddie's teachers tell me all the time that she is a fantastic, sweet, attentive, and respectful student. Of course, she may have been born that way, but I like to think that mothers (and fathers) have a lot more to do with that than we would like to admit.

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had read Babywise and Toddlewise so when our son, now 7, was showing signs of testing the boundaries again, we happened upon Preschoolwise! It was good to have the refresher of reminding us that at a certain age some freedoms are age appropriate, but to keep that in balance, yet the standard to which a parent should hold their children to when it comes to respect, responsibility, and other behaviors should not be compromised. The book is full of realistic scenarios and applicable approaches to re-train your child to obedience in a loving way. It definitely worked for us when we put the book into action. I highly recommend it.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the parenting with a greater mission than to stop the bad behavior. I also found the structuring ideas amazing. I only added 1 or 2 to our day and the boys responded beautifully and some how I feel like I have hours added to my day... more time with the boys and more hours in the day, I don't know how - but I like it. Stacey - your secret is out!

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

While some things about this book really irritated me (manifestly sexist, badly edited), some of the information was incredibly helpful, such as info on setting up a routine at home and the discipline information.

[Elsa K · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some people seem to be against the babywise series, but our family has really found them practical and helpful. I've read all of them up to this age and found helpful instruction that is age specific in each book. We don't follow everything, but take what works with our family.

[Heather · Rating 2 out of 5]

Got some good information, but not really my style.

[Mandy J. Hoffman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very very helpful for raising a preschooler.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is no secret that I believe the On Becoming series to be a valuable, helpful tool in managing my family life. On Becoming Preschool Wise is no exception. I have read several books this year (and hope to read more!) concerning education, parenting, and managing the household. The On Becoming series dovetails nicely with my parenting, educational, and managerial goals. This volume contained several pithy statements that I jotted down in my homeschooling notebooks such as: "Don't let life manage you; manage your life" and " Plan the work, and work the plan" and "Prepare your child for the road - not the road for your child." Good stuff here.

The only complaints I have about this series are as follows:
Firstly, it seems that the authors are Christians yet never fully commit to an overtly Christian vocabulary or direction. If I'm right, I would guess the authors want their books to be more generally accessible. However, committing to the full Christian vocabulary and aims would be truer to the faith and give the books more weight.

Secondly, I'm not sure I can agree with their statements regarding when a conscience is acquired. Is it present at birth? Or are we born conscience-less? Their statements concerning conscience bear more thought on my part...

[Laelle McKinney · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you like the parenting philosophy behind "Babywise" this book will feel like a natural succession to what you've already been implementing. Some key take aways I took to prepare your child for school:
-Focus on moral training not just behavioral, explaining the "why" behind the rule.
-Toddlers need less choice and more direction and routine.
-Structure your day incorporating personal playtime, one on one time with parent, and sibling play.
-Start developing a love for books, art and music NOW.
-Discipline logically not in the heat of the moment and use Positive Speech when correcting.

Most of this is obvious but a good reminder for weary parents who are in the middle of the tiring toddler years!

[Mairin Schuman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lots of good reminders, and I expect there's lots of overlap with "Child Wise" but not quite what I was expecting. Not very helpful in the actual schooling department for us. The main practical advice for actual school was to prepare kids for traditional kindergarten, which is still helpful to read, but not applicable for our family.

[Marie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Like all of the titles in this series, poorly written and edited.... but I will never forget how Babywise saved us when our third was born, so I will read all their books and glean whatever useful bits are in each!

[Meghan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lots of practical advice!

[Jamie · Rating 4 out of 5]

You often hear those who are for or against (or in the middle somewhere) Babywise. But, I had never heard much about the rest of the On Becoming series until recently.

I really appreciated the practical advice offered in Preschool Wise. Applying several principles right away, I have experienced more order smack-dab in the middle of a winter with too many days of indoor free play gone wild. For example, I have always had a loose plan for the day, but I realized I needed to take yet more ownership on deciding where, when and what my boys play (not always, but often), even with whom. So, now I might snuggle up with one boy while the others are doing puzzles. Or do some reading work with my 5 year old, while the little 2 play side by side in the playroom. While I prep dinner, all 3 have some table time and we enjoy music together. They are getting used to it and the need for discipline has decreased in frequency. I revisited the issue of the importance of sleep, ending in us putting our boys down 20 minutes earlier so they will be asleep at our target time not just tucked in. The manners section was also much-appreciated.

While some of the book was review, I did learn many new things. I think the most helpful way to approach this book is in conjunction with the excellent and gospel-rich Biblical principles laid out in Ted Tripp's book, Shepherding A Child's Heart.

[Aisha · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a FABULOUS book. I read it with a pencil in my hand and kept underlining.
It made SO MUCH SENSE about toddlers and preschoolers and what it takes to lay a foundation for them to be healthy and emotionally happy.
There is a lot of research cited about how scheduled children (and by scheduled I mean giving your kids something to expect and count on - not scheduled as in legalistic) are set up to do better educationally.
I know in my experience my children are much happier having a basic framework schedule.
This is a phenomenal and reasonable book. I was really impressed with the applications and I put it into practice immediately.

**read this first time around 2008 or earlier. Wouldn't let me enter 2 dates so entered latest one.

[Sunshine Moore · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sometimes I think the Ezzo's style (in other books) is vague and difficult and overly idealized - but this book has helped me reign in my difficult 5 year old. Our "time outs" were not working and he was becoming increasingly more antagonistic toward me. We modified his time out structure as outlined in the book and accompanied them with very clear instructions on WHY his behavior was inappropriate and what would happen the next time it happened - being clear that if it happened again he would do it knowing that is was wrong. Also very useful is the guidance for "store rules" (we now have "other people's homes rules") and hand folding. Some times I feel like I am training a dog, but I am much happier having a son who listens to me and stays safe.

[Cole Ramirez · Rating 4 out of 5]

On Becoming Babywise is clearly the most popular book in the -wise series, and it has helped countless parents get their child on a healthy sleeping and eating schedule. Unfortunately, I think a lot of parents stop there and fail to continue on in the series. This really is a shame, because while sleeping and eating lay the foundation for a well-adjusted child, the steps parents take to actively guide their child into becoming a good and responsible adult carry far more weight. On Becoming Preschoolwise offers plenty of excellent parenting concepts and strategies and is a great resource to come back to each time another child enters the stage.

Fair warning, it has it's bad moments (ahem, the whole "Land of Good Reason" storyline) but I still think it's worth a read.

[Jeniece · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book gives some useful advice about interacting with preschoolers. I especially liked the appendix that talked of having your purpose in mind before determining how you'll solve various situations (Beliefs+goals=your why. Why+how=solution.) However, some of his suggestions for structuring the day seems beyond the capabilities of this age. I was also disappointed to learn that he has little or no credentials to give validity to his suggestions, except as one parent might speak to another.

[Alexia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love love loved this book! It has helped my husband and I so much. We were clueless with where to start with preparing our son to learn preschool material. I really trust all of the books I have read by Gary Ezzo. They have really transformed the way we teach, train, discipline, and parent our now 3 year old. Scheduling was one of the best things we began. We lost site of scheduling after our son was sleeping 10 hours a night at 3 months old. I highly recommend this book and the whole On Becoming.... Series.

[Jocee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Most of the book was just ok, but once I finally made it to chapters 8 & 9, I was glad I had at least skimmed my way to that point. There were some excellent ideas in these chapters. I especially liked the ideas of how to get kids (even preschoolers) to do some chores, a few really fun ideas to promote good positive actions in the home, and what to expect(and teach) in terms of manners from kids at mealtimes. I would only recommend reading these two chapters. The rest was pretty BLAH.

[Bonnie · Rating 1 out of 5]

There was some good information here, but for the most part I thought a lot of it was common sense and found myself skimming a lot. It seems the more I read parenting books, the more I see what a great parent my mother is. (Maybe I should stop reading parenting books and just ask her!) I picked up some good information and some pick-me-up incentive to just keep doing what I'm already doing. A nice book, not great, not bad, but nice.

[Dawn · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book started to make my routine a little harder to accomplish. I totally see where Dr. Ezzo is coming from, but I think he may have written this one for parents of only one or two children. I found it too difficult to plan my day quite so rigidly, but we were able to incorporate many of his ideas into our routine to help the kids get ready for school.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great book. I am taking what I have learned from this book and starting a structured "learning time" into our day every day! I love the concrete ideas and the wonderful parenting concept in this book!

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This will definitely be a reference book for me over the years as my younger children become preschoolers. I wish I had read it earlier for my 4 1/2 year old, but he still has a year before kindergarten so I can still use the ideas for him and my newly turned 3 year old.

[Heidi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love this series! Although I am feeling like the books are less impactful it may be that I am just relying on them less as a mother. Even still, a must read for mothers with young children. Wonderful!

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like how this book focuses on teaching discipline through morality. So many others out there are about treating the symptoms instead of cause/heart of the matter. It seemed to go with my intuitive feelings on parenting.

[Shanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am learning how to take the whiny out of my three year old! It has helped tremendously by giving me ideas and guidelines so our days can be productive(for him AND for me!)

[Karla · Rating 5 out of 5]

Terrific book that helped me tremendously to define what I was hoping for my child and then figure out how to carry it out.

[Wendy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another parenting book . . . I liked this book because it provided a 'balancing' point of view to Love and Logic. There is a chapter in the book called 'The Choice Addiction' which was helpful.

[Rebecca]

Wish I had read this earlier. Has loads of helpful tips.