You Don't Know Me: Reflections of My Father, Ray Charles

by Ray Charles Robinson Jr., Mary Jane Ross

A deeply personal memoir of the private Ray Charles - the man behind the legend - by his eldest son.


Ray Charles is an American music legend. A multiple Grammy Award-winning composer, pianist, and singer with an inimitable vocal style and a catalog of hits including "What I Say," "Georgia on My Mind," "Unchain My Heart," "I Can't Stop Loving You," and "America the Beautiful," Ray Charles's music is loved by fans around the world.

Now his eldest son, Ray Charles Robinson Jr., shares an intimate glimpse of the man behind the music, with never-before-told stories. Going beyond the fame, the concerts, and the tours, Ray Jr. opens the doors of his family home and reveals their private lives with fondness and frankness.

He shares his father's grief and guilt over his little brother's death at the age of five — as well of moments of personal joy, like watching his father run his hands over the Christmas presents under their tree while singing softly to himself. He tells of how Ray overcame the challenges of being blind, even driving cars, riding a Vespa, and flying his own plane. And, in gripping detail, he reveals how as a six-year-old boy he saved his father's life one harrowing night.

Ray Jr. writes honestly about the painful facts of the addiction that nearly destroyed his father's life. His father's struggles with heroin addiction, his arrests, and how he ultimately kicked the drug cold turkey are presented in unflinching detail. Ray Jr. also shares openly about how, as an adult, he fell victim to the same temptations that plagued his father.

He paints a compassionate portrait of his mother, Della, whose amazing voice as a gospel singer first attracted Ray Charles. Though her husband's drug use, his womanizing, and the paternity suits leveled against him constantly threatened the stability of the Robinson home, Della exhibited incredible resilience and inner strength.

Told with deep love and fearless candor, You Don't Know Me is the powerful and poignant story of the Ray Charles the public never saw — the father and husband and fascinating human being who also happened to be one of the greatest musicians of all time.

Genres: Biography, Audiobook, Nonfiction

288 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2010

Reviews

[SundayAtDusk · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book at the library, and it is one of the most loving, compassionate memoirs I have ever read about famous parents; especially about a father with some serious flaws. Ray Charles had a serious drug problem and fathered many children outside of his marriages, yet one may find it difficult to harshly judge him while reading this book. Mr. Charles Jr. does not glorify his father, either. And he certainly does not write in a way that is disrespectful to his mother. Just the opposite. He sees his mother as an astoundingly strong woman, who held the family together, took exceptional care of her three sons, and taught them good values. There are some really nice childhood memories in You Don't Know Me, just as there are some harrowing ones. But the nice ones seem to prevail, and it was really interesting, touching, and downright fun to read them. There's more sadness towards the end of the book . . . but life and love goes on . . . especially the love of a son for his father.

[Just Janet · Rating 1 out of 5]

I sympathize about this author's plight because he was born the son of a famous man. However, get over it! Ray Jr set his sights on becoming more of a train wreck than his father and succeeded.

[Frances · Rating 3 out of 5]

I hadn't known Ray Charles' life story, so found this memoir by his son Ray Jnr. really interesting. It was a life touched by tragedy. A great talent, but a damaged and flawed man who deeply hurt his devoted wife by his constant infidelity and drug addiction. He did manage to kick his drug habit, but could not give up his womanising ways. It was so cruel that his former wife and their three sons learned of his death from TV coverage rather than being with him at the end. This is a sad story in many ways.

[Sam Motes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not your normal music memoir as it is written by Ray Charles son. Still a very interesting read to see his perspective on his dad’s success as well as the train wrecks of drugs and broken hearts that not only impacted the family but carried over to the challenges in the authors own life as he fought many of the same demons.

[Kap · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome book

I've been a Ray Charles fan for as long as I can remember. This book is all that I hoped it would be and more. Raw, honest, and at time heartbreaking. Ray Jr is so brave for sharing so deeply. Thank you!

[Kristal Stidham · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting, but limited in scope because it's strictly about the son's experience of Ray Charles as a father and not so much about Ray's career and artistry. Still, a poignant story worth telling.

[Tanesha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved loved loved it!!!

[Pub Lit · Rating 1 out of 5]

First born son of Ray Charles writes about his life as a child and adult. He experienced addiction issues also. Not a solid writer.

[Saraa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very interesting biography

[Kathleen Hagen]

You Don’t Know Me, Reflections on my Father’s Life, by Ray Charles Robinson Jr., Produced by Random House Audio, downloaded from audible.com.

A very intimate memoir of the private Ray Charles - the man behind the legend - by his eldest son. Ray Charles's music is loved by fans around the world.Now his eldest son, Ray Charles Robinson Jr., shares an intimate glimpse of the man behind the music. Going beyond the fame, the concerts, and the tours, Ray Jr. shares with readers his father's grief and guilt over his little brother's death at the age of five as well of moments of personal joy, like watching his father run his hands over the Christmas presents under
their tree while singing softly to himself. He tells of how Ray faced the challenges of being blind, going on the road on tour ten months of the year, editing his own recordings to exacting perfection. Ray Jr. writes honestly about the
painful facts of the heroin addiction that nearly destroyed his father's life, and which Ray Charles quit cold turkey without drugs like methadone when he was in danger of being sent to federal prison. Ray Jr. also honestly revealed how hard his father’s continuing affairs with other women was on his mother. In fact, Ray Charles had three children with his wife and nine additional children with others. He did provide child support for them all, but was not emotionally present for any of them, including his own sons, until he kicked the heroin habit. Ray Jr. tells how he fell prey to drug addicition himself-only in his case it was crack-and it took him several tries to kick the habit. When he wrote the book he had been clean for three years. Ray Jr. also helped with the story for the movie, “Ray”, which his father never saw because he died right before its premier. This will be one of my top nonfiction books of the year.

[Judy Marshall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ray Jr. pays tribute to his father and at the same time glorifies his mother. 2 Thumbs UP! You Don't Know Me: Reflections of My Father was a wonderful page turner for me. There were so many times when I thought Ray Jr. was speaking directly to me - the reader. I felt his presence in the room. Maybe that's what happens...when a writer is so good at telling his story. You feel like a character in his novel.

BEST line: "She chose to deal with all of him."
Praise for You Don't Know Me: Reflection of My Father. Candid. Heart - rendering, engrossing, and ultimately rewarding. American Novelist Judy Prescott Marshall

[Ruth · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this. it followed the movie pretty well. this is the story of ray charles son. fascinating. what really struck me was what a big role mental illness plays in drug abuse. it seemed like ray charles sr. used drugs because he had a hard life and it was his way to cope with his loss and grief. but his son seemed to use because of an anxiety disorder and was self-medicating and never sought the mental and emotional treatment he needed to cope with his life. definitely has helped me be more compassionate and understanding about something i was largely ignorant of.

[Qelilah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was very personal for me. I grew up on Bradna Drive in Windsor Hills just a few blocks from the Charles-Robinson household. This book was so compelling that after I finished the book, I bought the movie, Ray in order to go back over the movie to check out the nuances mentioned in the book. Very readable and interesting from a young man fighting inherited demons of a famous father.

[Greg Tetreault · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting read from Ray Charles's 1st son. I already knew much about Ray's life but it was very interesting hearing his son's thoughts on his music, drug use, work ethic, blindness, womanizing, etc. A good read for a music enthusiast.

[Cody · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jr's relapses got annoying, but overall, a satisfying read.