Suzie Bitner Was Afraid of the Drain

by Barbara R. Vance

Fall into a wonderful collection of humorous and whimsical poems that take you to a world where mice wear roller skates, a girl turns into a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, and a baseball embarks on an unexpected trip. Find out what happens when you have one too many peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches; hear from a girl who has, of all things, worms for pets; and discover the fiery effects of eating a chili pepper. Suzie Bitner Was Afraid of the Drainis comprise of 124 poems that offer a lighthearted perspective of the world children of all ages will enjoy.

Genres: Poetry, Childrens

192 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2010

Reviews

[Heather Alderman]

Cute, fun kids poetry. I probably would have enjoyed it even more if I had a little to read it aloud to.

[Betsy]

When I was a kid, children's poetry certainly existed but as far as I knew nobody was out there actively promoting the idea that I read the stuff. Our schools didn't have Poetry Month. Poem In Your Pocket Day was hardly the norm. And the idea of a Children's Poet Laureate? Unheard of! Absurd! Still, I read a little poetry on my own. There was always Jack Prelutsky, who I considered the poor man's Shel Silverstein. Now Silverstein THAT was a dude who knew what appealed to kids. Though he had an odd tendency to traipse into the world of cutesiness (his hug poem = an ugh poem), his work tapped into children's fears and sick twisted humors better than anyone. And books like Where the Sidewalk Ends and A Light in the Attic looked better than the other books too. They were big thick books with black and white illustrations on pure white pages with plenty of space around the words. Variations on this form of published have existed throughout the decades since. Most recently would be Barbara R. Vance and her collection of poems in Suzie Bitner Was Afraid of the Drain. Not tapping into the sheer weirdness of a Silverstein, Vance still provides looks at the familiar aspects of a child's life and couches those observations in rhyme.

A collection of 124 poems, Barbara Vance explores the ephemera of childhood. Some poems take on the realistic problems lots of kids face. Things like "My Brother's Bike" or "Bored" or (maybe just a little less common) "Worms for Pets". Other poems stray into the fantastical, like "Pantry Party", "A Ghost Who Loves Movies", and "Don't Make the Tooth Fairy Angry." Each poem is couched on pure white space with small interstitial illustrations to accompany. The book also includes an index of the poems, both by title and by first line.

It took me a while as I read this book to realize that Vance's poetry style stands opposite most of the poems we read for kids today. I'll tell you how a usual funny poem for children stands. You read about a situation, say a kid raking leaves, a kid with braces, or a kid who likes to dress up. You read through as the kid describes their situation. Then you get to the end of the poem and the last sentence is a funny surprise kicker you didn't see coming. This is sort of an established form in children's poetry. We've come to expect it. I certainly (and without really realizing it) had come to expect it, so it was with a bit of a shock that I realized that mostly Vance avoids this particular style. The closest thing you're going to get to a kicker on that poem about the kid who likes to dress up is a suggestion that you might like dressing up too. And this is fine. Vance is totally within her rights to keep her poems from looking like everybody else's. She'll sometimes follow the established form, as when "The Very Best Climber" ends with the climber's realization that while up is one thing, down is certainly another. But generally speaking, that is not her style. Nor need it be.

I also liked the subject matter in some of her poems. "Two Gibbons Reach for the Moon" may not be a direct reference to "the gibbous moon" but for more than one adult that'll be the first thing that pops into their noggins. Otherwise, the poems are pretty standard fare. Braces and stinky feet and dogs and that sort of thing. The format of the poems changes too. You'll have your ABABAB poems and then your AABB poems. There are even limericks in the bunch. Most of these work, though "The Masters of Balledere Hall" has one line that I've been puzzling over. It goes, "We won't leave a lady distraught, / Won't rest till her captors are caught, / But once we relieve her, / We rapidly leave her, / For most women come with a knot." A knot? I'm still not sure what that quite means.

Without any doubt in my mind my favorite poems in this book was "Sandwich Sister". This was partly because of the plot (a girl eats so many peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that she turns into one herself) but was made particularly keen by Vance's accompanying illustrations. Generally speaking, the pictures in this book are magnificently simple. Just pen and ink with more importance placed on the idea of an image than a detailed presentation of it. For example, the little girl in "Sandwich Sister" starts out looking somewhat like a big-eyed kewpie doll. The image of her enjoying a sandwich shows her little lines for arms holding the object high, her head thrust upward in true sandwich-eating bliss. Turn the page, however, and the girl is now a sandwich itself with two big googly eyes making note of her wheaten anatomy. It's charming. Pay attention and you'll also see that while the bows that were in her hair remain firmly stuck to the sandwiches . . uh . . head, one of her shoes has come untied. I don't know why, but little details like that, when they appear in very simple drawings, are particularly charming. And throughout the book, Vance's art never draws attention away from the poetry. It just acts as a natural accompaniment.

To my mind, the ideal pairing for this book would be alongside a title like Kenn Nesbit's My Hippo Has the Hiccups And Other Poems I Totally Made Up. Between those and a book like Jack Prelutsky's The New Kid on the Block, young 'uns will have plenty of poems to keep them amused whether it's Poetry Month again, or just a time when they'd like the ultimate in light reading. Vance's book doesn't startle or leap into directions hitherto unknown, but it does make for some good comfort poems. For folks that would like a little more poetry in their life.

For ages 6-11.

[Hannah]

This is a whimsical and fun collection of poems that captures the essence of childhood. Some are silly, others are introspective, but all engage young readers with the fun that is poetry. Vance uses the art as well as font size and shape well in adding an extra layer to her work. I enjoy reading this for myself as well as with my students.

[Mary T]

I've been reading this aloud to my boys (10, 8, 4, 3) throughout the summer. It seems like it's taken us FOREVER to get through. As others have said, it's reminiscent of Shel Silverstein's poems and drawings, but I prefer his style. There were some that my boys definitely related to, though.

[Angela Burkholder]

Absolutely delightful collection of children's poetry. Some profound, some laughable, most illustrated with whimsical line drawings.

[Pat]

What a breath of fresh air! This is children's poetry at its best -- no crude or bratty humor; just funny, sincere, and whimsical poems that capture the joys, wonders, and trials of growing up, as seen through a child's eyes. The author doesn't talk down to children; in fact, she used words that challenge their vocabularies without overwhelming them. (If you buy from the author's website, www.suziebitner.com, as I did, you get a free "Suzie companion dictionary" with over 250 words defined for kids.)
A few of my favorite funny poems: Maisy (a girl dreams up an ingenious way to deal with her fear of the dark), Don't Make the Tooth Fairy Angry (a boy hears from the Fairy herself when he challenges her existence), Sandwich Sister (a girl turns into a peanut butter and jelly sandwich from eating too many of them), and Sharing (neat and sloppy siblings share a room). Other poems address: getting off school for a snow day, making mountains out of molehills, going fishing with Dad, having patience, and counting your freckles.
All in all, a wonderful collection for children and adults alike. I find myself smiling and pulling the book off the shelf as I pass by, just to read a quick poem or to commit a few lines to memory. You and the children in your life will enjoy it. I emphatically recommend it.

[Ashleyd]

Poetry (DDC 811.52) - Features 124 children's poems. All realistic and child focused poems. Some are introspective and others are silly. Vance's illustration style is Silverstein-ish. I liked the way that she used word-size and fonts to add to the poetry style. For example, the different text size in "Journey" that the most important part of the poem are the world is "Where would you go?". Many of the poems lend themselves to lessons about visualization, especially the poem "Sweet Dreams" about candy. I would recommend this for people are expanding their poetry collection especially for 4th and 5th graders.

[Esther Choi]

This book has over 100 light-hearted, fun, and imaginative poems. Some of the stories are just for fun, while others incorporate realistic problems children face, including bullying, cooties, being an older sibling, and nightmares. It could be a fun idea to read one every morning to incorporate poetry into the classroom.

Interest Level: K-3
Grade Level Equivalent: N/A
Guided Reading Level: N/A
Lexile: N/A
Genre: Poetry
Theme: fun, rhymes, imagination, self-connections

[Avaj]

Such a cute book of poetry. This is a great book to pull out in the classroom during a transitional time. It will grab the attention of the children and make them giggle with every silly poem it holds.

[Magpie6287]

Hilarious, charming, and very wholesome. This is one of those poetry books I will come back to again and again. A refreshing book in such a fast-paced world.

[Barbara R.]

:-) It has a special place in my heart. I had so much fun writing this and illustrating it, and now sharing it with others!

[Pat]

The poems are great; but,unfortunately, the e-book doesn't have the fun fonts that add so much. I still love it, though!

[Jennifer H.]

My two boys liked this book a lot, and I truly enjoyed the poems as well. Great book to read together!

[Jami]

A fun and easy read for all the kids. The look and feel is very Shel Silverstein.

[Mckinley]

Lots of good stuff.

This except - re: last night discuss.

And if you best
was not as good
As you hoped it would be,
You still could say,
"I gave today
All that I had in me."

[Angela M.]

I loved it, it was pretty awesome!!!!!