Him Her Him Again the End of Him

by Patricia Marx

A neurotic Cambridge graduate struggles to cover up her dysfunctional relationship with a narcissistic young man and engages in increasingly absurd lies and acts of self-deception.

Genres: Fiction, Humor, Audiobook, Comedy, Relationships, Chick Lit, Adult Fiction

232 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2006

About the author

Patricia Marx is an American humorist and writer.
Born in Abingdon, Pennsylvania, she earned her B.A. from Harvard University in 1975. Her writing has appeared in the The New York Times, The New Yorker, Vogue, and The Atlantic Monthly. Marx is a former writer for Saturday Night Live and Rugrats, and one of the first two women elected to the Harvard Lampoon.[1][2] She is the author of the 2007 novel, Him Her Him Again The End of Him, as well as several humor books and children's books (Meet My Staff, Now Everybody Really Hates Me, Now I Will Never Leave the Dinner Table).[3]

Reviews

[Pdxstacey · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sorry Lindsay, I didn't like this book.

The first half made me very anxious and brought back bad memories of stupid people I dated in college. I found myself flipping to the back and looking at the author's photo. She looks very pleased with herself.

Have you ever spent time with someone who does stand up? It can be very annoying. I used to be friends with a screenwriter, he would often tell me how amazed he was at the sharpness of his own mind. What do you say to a comment like that? Well, there are a lot of things you can say, but many of them are rude.

Anyway, I got the feeling this book was written more for the author than the reader. I started to enjoy it by the second half, but it was draining and a lot of effort. Sort of like dating someone who is good looking, but by the time you have gone on a few dates, it is more and more obvious that their personality is lacking. And then they seem less good looking. But he seemed good looking and it's hard to find a confident, straight man who wears red parachute pants and invites you to fun rooftop parties in the west village. What a find! But then I realized every time we went to dinner, we had to go back to his place so he could enter the expense in Quicken on his computer. Ugh. And then I broke up with him, and he sent me an aveda compact he got from modeling at their show. I was not sure what my emotional reaction should be to that gesture and had forgotton about it until I read this book.

So beware!

Just remembered: there is a an intentional grammatical error that is later referenced at the end of the book. I thought that was hysterical. See, I give credit where credit is due.

[Marya DeVoto]

Snarky piffle.

[Ashley Lane · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't even know what to say! This quote from the book basically sums it up for me: "Once you do something against your better judgment, it gets easier to do something else against your better judgment, and pretty soon, you’re doing things against everyone’s better judgment."

The girl (heroine??) is a moron, pretty neurotic, and at times as self-absorbed as the book's "protagonist," Eugene. She's really kind-of awful at times. I got completely annoyed with her and Eugene both.

At the same time- I couldn't put it down because it was so funny! Her comments and thoughts to herself literally sent me into giggle fits. And even though I felt like I shouldn't be laughing- I was.

Looking back, I feel it's supposed to be a satirical comedy sketch, of sorts, and Patricia Marx takes the actions, feelings, and emotions a step too far on purpose. And never giving the narrator/main character a name is a bit genius because it makes you step "into" her a bit and identify with her more. I kept finding myself thinking, "You're an IDIOT! But, OK, I admit it- I've been there." I think at the end of the day that while most of us (hopefully) don't make as bad relationship decisions as this girl does- we can certainly identify with her and understand the thought process that gets you into those situations. I think she would be me if I had no backbone or brain.

And the outcome of Eugene- Oh my.

When the day is done- I can't really EXPLAIN it, but I enjoyed the heck out of the book.

[Iris · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is horrible. Not worth anybody's time. The plot is somewhat trite: girl loves boy, boy rejects girl but uses her, girl pines for boy and loses her self-esteem and self-respect in the process. I suppose the author thought she was being very clever and funny by injecting stream of consciousness musings wherever she saw fit. And [spoiler alert] I suppose she thought that it would be some sort of redemption to have the boy meet his comeuppance at the end. But really, that comes way too late in the book. In the meantime, the reader is forced to drudge through endless pages of this girl who clearly has not one shred of self-respect and whom I disliked so much that I couldn't even sympathize with her, as well as a pompous and frankly, unbelievable character of a male chauvanist philanderer who uses and abuses the "heroine" with abandon. I wanted to put this book down so many times (and I always finish books) - the only thing that kept me going was that I specifically wanted to write a review. I don't know how this book was a "national bestseller," as it proclaims proudly on its cover. Do yourself and a favor and don't bother.

[Nora · Rating 1 out of 5]

I cackled in anticipation when I picked up this book from the library. The cover boasted glowing blurbs from people I consider funny and/or smart, such as Steve Martin, David Rakoff, Roz Chast, and Adam Gopnik. I did NOT laugh out loud at any point, as some of the blurbs assured me I would, and I am totally open to laughing out loud. Perhaps the author IS hilarious a)if you know her or b)for the length of a SNL skit (she is a former writer for them) or a picture book (she has written some with Roz Chast). In fact, the book starts at the breakneck pace of a skit and doesn't, to my way of thinking, evolve beyond that. She has an interesting style that has a certain quirky appeal, and which may make others of you laugh out loud, but which wore thin for me over the length of the novel.

This was supposed to be my break from the other Marx, but even Karl is funnier.

[Jennifer Cooper · Rating 1 out of 5]

Neurosis can be entertaining-- Woody Allen, Jerry Seinfeld, and Larry David have the money and fame to prove it. Unfortunately, this book shows that neurosis can also be intensely annoying.

This book's unnamed 'heroine' is an insecure, immature, obsessive loser who can't seem to get her life together. She drops out of school, loses multiple jobs, sponges off her parents, attaches herself to a man who has no real interest in her, annoys her friends (and readers), and generally refuses to act like a grown-up. The object of her obsession, Eugene, is no better. He is a narcissist, a womanizer, and a pompous ass.

When they meet, he is a philosophy fellow at Cambridge, where she is finding ways to avoid working on her thesis. She obsesses over him (FOR NO GOOD REASON) for years, even after he meets and marries another woman. Although his feelings for her seem to be luke-warm at best, he keeps stringing her along. She finally comes to her senses at the end of the book, but it isn't nearly enough to redeem this book. Ugh.

[Deb Victoroff · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kind of funny. Probably great if you are the kind of woman who likes men to have sex with you, then he goes and has sex with your best friend, and your sister, and then your mother, and then your poodle, and then you have sex with them again and then you pine over them when they go to have sex with your therapist to whom you're telling your tale of woe.

The protagonist of this novel is an absolute idiot (despite many many MANY mentions of her ivy league background and her attempts to complete a PhD) and makes Christie Brinkley look like Steven Hawking by comparison. I read it with the same morbid fascination with which I read People Magazine: wondering how people can be so stupid, and yet, thanking the world that they exist, so I can feel superior in every way. I doubt that was the author's intention in this case, but that would be the motivation for a reader interested in this tale. But also, there were a few laughs.

[Becky Marietta · Rating 2 out of 5]

Fluffy, nonsense book I read on the way to Colorado for a funeral. If I weren't trapped in the car with no alternative, I'm not sure I would've bothered finishing it -- pretty inane stuff. There were some funny bits, and the author had a pithy style -- but the heroine -- ugh! I never did like her and her ridiculous way of putting up with the man who did her wrong. I know it was supposed to be ironic but I just found it annoying.

[Anita Dalton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Can you love unreservedly a book that enthralls you but falls apart in the final pages? I think you can. You can love it the same way you love your cat who continually butt drags on the beige carpet. The cat is loving, adorable, a delight in every way except that terrible surprise waiting for you when you walk downstairs. It irritates you fiercely when it happens but mostly you recall all the times the beast has made you happy. That’s the approach I am taking with this book: the great fun of the book overwhelmed the unhappy surprise at the end.

Marx’s clever yet sympathetic prose coupled with an appreciation for the absurd gives us a heroine we can both root for and wish we could throttle. Her depiction of the villain in this piece may seem heavy-handed but at the same time portrays perfectly the bafflement others must feel observing any relationships women have with such men. I suspect this book will speak to mostly women of a certain age who have made shockingly dumb decisions in love, but anyone with a love of characters full of self-deprecating humor and wit will find much to love in this book. Read my entire review here.

[Stacy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Too clever by half is the best phrase I can think of to describe this book. I still can't believe I finished it, because I found the experience of reading it mostly excruciating. It follows the many-year affair of a woman who can't seem to find a job or a direction in life and a boorish academic a-hole who uses her over and over and treats her like crap. It's one of those ha-ha-isn't-my-life-pathetic kind of books, but I never really saw the humor in it.

Holding onto a thought and actually exploring it seems too daunting a task for the author to complete. I can't figure out if it is the author or the protagonist who appears to have attention deficit disorder. One thing I did like was the voice of the protagonist - told in the first person and talking to the reader directly, saying things like, "I haven't told you about this yet...".

There were a few clever turns of the phrase here and there, and I probably missed many of them in my haste to finish and escape this book.

[Diana Tilson · Rating 1 out of 5]

I bought this because of a glowing review in the New York Times that claimed it was funny and insightful, but I think the review must have been by one of her friends, because this book is not entertaining. This is thinly-veiled autobiography, and Patricia Marx comes across as an over-privileged brat. Everything is told from the satirical distance of hindsight to the extent that we never understand why she likes Eugene, the guy who her life revolves around, even after he gets married to another woman and does nothing to give her false hope. Marx wrote for Saturday Night Live, so I thought this would be funnier, but it's revealed halfway through the book that the only way she got on the show was because her aunt knew the producer (and she was on the show from 1980 - 1981, which was one of the worst seasons in the show's history).

[katie · Rating 1 out of 5]

this book is supposedly funny, but I'm pretty sure it's funny in that weird way that only books can be funny to book critics -- meaning, it wasn't funny in the least. I kept waiting for the book to get interesting and instead it actually got significantly worse as it went along, completely devolving into insipidness at the ending. and the main characters were uniquely unlikable in every way. I give it 2 stars instead of 1 because there are a few things about the pathetic ways in which some girls behave in "romantic relationships" that rang very true. which, given how much I hated everything about the woman in the story and found everything she did revolting, is sort of something I hate to admit.

[Catherine Ashley Dumont · Rating 2 out of 5]

So, I have to say I found her prose intriguing. It was kind of manic in some ways, and the neurosis of protagonist really came through, so for that in itself, it got two stars, and I really enjoyed that part of it. My problem lies mostly with the story itself - the subject matter is relatable but that’s as far as it goes. Nothing was fleshed out; it jumped from story to story so fast that I always felt it was missing something and the characters were slightly too unbelievable to really identify with it. However, maybe that was the purpose. You can find truth in exaggeration. As I finished it in one day, I think it was “worth” it but, yeah.

[Lizzie Mazzola · Rating 1 out of 5]

this book is actually so bad i hope the main character has a personality altering incident and changes everything about herself

[*Dawn · Rating 4 out of 5]

First-person fictional account of a young woman's 10+ year fling with a philandering philosophy professor, Eugene Obello, who is completely self-centered and narcissistic. Ironically, he specializes in "Ego Studies". He is a pompous, belittling, patronizing cheating blowhard. Yes, that is a lot of adjectives to describe one man, but he deserves them, and he would probably puff up from the added attention given him.

(Nameless) She, although a student at Cambridge University and having a high capacity for the English language, is a complete nincompoop in her personal life and a bit of a flake. She allows Eugene to sweep into her life for short stints--even after he marries another--then disappear for days, weeks, or even years before returning with no apologies but with (fulfilled) expectations of their picking up right where they left off. Her neurotic behavior is sad and even shameful at times because she pushes those who really do care about her away, and fails to strive for any sort of success. She's a doormat who just lets life happen to her.

Their story is actually pretty depressing. It's hard to like either of the two main characters. What makes the reading of this book somewhat enjoyable, however, is how witty the author is and how her sense of humor is outside the box and very dry. There are a lot of scenes where the internal dialogue has funny one-liners or repartee between friends that made me laugh. There's a scene where someone is in a perilous situation and the phrase, "Look out, my endangered species!" is used. That was actually kind of meta and even the backstory of how the characters spoke to each other added to that humorous line.

This is not a "funny" book. It is a darker story than that. However, it is still often humorous. The humor is often unexplained and you either get it or you don't. Or you may get it and just not think it's all that funny. Or it may catch you unawares and make you chuckle. For me, that good comedic timing is what bumped up my rating from a 3- to a 4-star review.

[Jen · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is an odd book. I found the first section hilarious; the writing style is random, abrupt, and often hard to follow, but I thought that was part of its quirky charm. However, I can see why a lot of people don't like it: if you've never fallen for or met an intellectual snob back in college, then you just won't relate to the narrator's plight at all. And there are a lot - and I mean a LOT - of references to obscure literature and words even the well-read (myself included) will not understand. Again, I found this amusing, but I can see where others would not.

After about the first third of the book, however, I didn't find it as funny. I can understand being obsessed with a jerk, but for 10 years?!? She lost me there. And when you don't understand a character, you lose interest - or at least I do.

I'm about 3/4 of the way through the story now, only persevering because I'm curious how the obsession will eventually end, if it does at all. However, I've picked up another book already, and I'm not sure I'll get to finishing this one after all. We shall see..

UPDATE: Well, I finally staggered through the finish line, and my review loses a star as a result. Ug, can we say not worth the effort? The ending was like the rest of the writing: abrupt and near nonsensical. Were we supposed to feel better that she finally offs the guy? Because really, I just felt disgusted. There is no righteous indignation to be had in finding out the guy you're having an affair with has been having other affairs. Consequently, I had no pity/empathy/understanding for her at all.

[Teresa · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is a poorly written book with no likable characters. It is impossible to care about any of them or what happens to them. They are poorly developed bored privileged people with nothing to contribute. It was my book club's selection for this month. I finished it. The other book club members who are struggling to get through it keep asking if it will get better. The answer is no. It gets slightly more absurd at best, this might be more annoying than the rest of the book where nothing happens. I did not find it funny or even amusing at all. I couldn't even tell what was supposed to be funny. Do not waste your time. Finishing it was like being released from annoyance. Like if you finally got away from someone at a party who had cornered you into a conversation that was about them, interesting only to them, seemingly endless and rambling. I am embarrassed to even admit I read it but I thought I should warn others. If I could give it less than one star, I would.

[Mindy · Rating 1 out of 5]

At best, this is a completely erratic writer incapeable of stringing together more than two connected thoughts. The transitions are clumsey, she overuses obscure words and constantly makes reference to little know scientists and philosphers. Further, the narrator arrogantly refuses to decribe situations or characters. This book is a total waste of time and I wouldn't bother finishing it if I weren't obligated to for my book club. Ironicly, it was chosen (by the book club) for it's comedic slant but I have yet to laugh out loud. Perhaps I'm just not smart enough for this one...

[Kate Powers · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think the scariest part about this book is that individuals like the main character exist. If you want to read about a woman who pines over one terrible, no good man for over 10 years (whom, may I add, none of her friends have ever approved of) - then totally read this! 2 stars because the "heroine" had a [sometimes] comical sense of humor.... and for making me think "Hm, how hard can it be to get a PHD at Cambridge if this scatterbrain got in." Also, if I have to hear the name "Eugene" one more time - I may experience spontaneous combustion.

[dawn · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book. Unfortunately, it sucks. Sucks is a bit too harsh probably. I'm half-way through the book, and I don't care about the next page.

I'm going to focus on only reading books I like. This one will be back at the library if anyone is looking for it.

[Shelby Kirkland · Rating 1 out of 5]

One of the worst books I’ve ever read. Do not waste your time unless you like no character development, run on sentences, a shitty main character, and an even shittier love interest.

[Emma Garvey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Narrated in a stream of consciousness style format that made me feel like I was reading the book in my own voice. At times, the format felt neurotic but also relatable - the voice on the page felt like it fit into my own clustered thoughts. I think this would be a more enjoyable read for someone who feels like their life is completely together - for those of us who are still trying to figure it all out... perhaps anxiety inducing.

A hilarious read to say the least.

[Ines Garcia · Rating 1 out of 5]

When I first bought this book I judged it stupidly by the cover. I'm sure Patricia put the Knife into Him to throw people off into what may be seen as a suspense thriller theme. Clearly one cannot judge a good story when one has only been involved with three chapters. I initially thought it was good due to the humor and writing and thought to recommend it to a friend or two. Then I quickly realized after the fourth chapter I was dead wrong. But I continued on hoping that the main character would grow into a woman by maturing.

Once midway within this book I regretted reading it as my current book (as I had a classic one within grasp). The upside was it had great humor such as comical titled college thesis. However the downside: Was this really all there was to the story? This didn't feel like a story! What was the plot? Continuing to be stupid?

It felt like a journal with the narration proposed kiddish in it's entirety. It's highly disappointing to read a girl telling a story about a boy who she's madly in love with (if you can consider this love?) for no other reason than possibly losing her virginity to him?

I never read a book in my life I wanted to hurry up and finish because it was THAT BAD!

I find this book insulting to women such as myself who are intelligent and have an everlasting hatred for men. If anyone is the opposite of me, you may very well enjoy this book. But the question remains: Why would anyone write a drawn-out journal such as this? Probably because it shaped every decision going forward in their life. I've no clue. Skip it!

[Eden Thompson · Rating 1 out of 5]

From the JetBlackDragonfly book blog at www.edenthompson.ca/blog

Patricia Marx, "one of the finest comic writers of her time", is a former SNL writer, her work has been in the New York Times, The New Yorker, and she's the first woman elected to the Harvard Lampoon. To top it off Steve Martin "cried that he didn't write it" and the cartoon writer - the fantastic Roz Chast - says it's "laugh-aloud funny, witty, incisive, a wonderful book".
Fans of Patricia Marx, if you are reading, move on to another site.

I can't recommend this book. I was ready for the funniest comic romp since...
But I didn't find one single thing funny in this book. I mean, not one. I didn't smile, I didn't laugh. I didn't find anything interesting or clever. I didn't like anyone in this book. I didn't like her boyfriend Eugene Obello. I didn't like her in Cambridge, or when she moved to New York. I didn't like when she wrote for an SNL knock off 'Taped and Proud", not interested in her kid's show Tattle TV.
He does come back and there is an end to him, but he was absolutely uninteresting. Maybe everyone was a parody of a character? Mystifying to think it's amusing.
It's also written where the central character talks directly to you, non-stop, for the whole book. It's like being trapped next to someone telling their life story and never. shutting. up.

I did read it to the very end, hoping. Even now I look back and wonder, is there a funny line in it I missed? Can't find one.
It was a non-event.

[Sajra · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked up this book in the bookstore because of the title (although the bright orange book cover was also kinda hard to miss) - I was just at the beginning of the process of getting over someone. I don't think I would have bought it if that wasn't happening in my life, but anyways... In the beginning it was very amusing, the book I mean hehe, I liked how the characters were introduced and the little anecdotes and side stories but then it just started to be a repetitive, easy-to-read novel, like a book you would take on a sunny day on the beach because you would be too lazy to think. But, I am thankful for the very annoying main character/narrator cause through her I saw how stupid I was for hanging onto the same person for so long and learned how it would lead nowhere and actually started to let go. So thanks for that. But yeah, was thinking between 2 or 3 stars, let's say, the third is for the tips. Cheers.

[Terrie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Okay - once again I realize that these "hilarious" books about relationships are just not my cup of tea. While I found an occasional phrase mildly amusing, I feel like the overall story tries too hard to be amusing. I guess I don't like reading page after page of "oh woe is me", "love me or love me not", nonsense.

This woman spends years and years of her life pining after a guy who clearly doesn't love her and yet she remains at his beck and call over and over (even after he's married someone else). She doesn't get a job, lives with her parents, bemoans her life, and can't get over this obnoxious man. I didn't like her or him or the story!

Read for "title w/ antonyms" for the 2015 challenge. Not recommended unless you want to wallow in someone's story who has a worse life than you!

[Heather Hay · Rating 2 out of 5]

I kept waiting for this book to pick up and become good or at the very least the author would give some reason for sympathizing with the protagonist. I finished the book, but I didn't feel my time was worth it. I work at a library and I see this book checked out because the cover looks like it could fit in next to a cozy mystery or some chick lit mystery, but I now know why nobody has said anything about the book even though it checks out alot. The audiobook has such a great reader and at times I found myself laughing along with her, but she wasn't good enough to save the mildly interesting storyline.

[Hannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very funny book!

The writing is really funny, and sometimes the author talks directly. This gives an extra dimension. The story about her, the me-person, is kind of sad. And she makes jokes about this, herself and the situation. The story really concentrates on the relationship with him: Eugene. There were a lot of moments when I had to laugh. In the first chapter there is a sentence with comes back in the and in an unexpected way: 'my grandmother believes everyone has a determined number of footsteps to use up in a lifetime, and, therefore, it is foolhardy to exercise since you will only exhaust your quota sooner and die'

[Sara · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read a book like this one when I was 22: depressed, living in Wichita ks, read in one sitting- well under the covers while nursing feelings of emotional angst that left me feeling immobilized and terrified of life. The book then was the Bridget jones diary. This current version, this him, her etc. Is like watching tv in book form. It seems like the author wrote it on a drunken binge, the plot and characters return randomly, funny stories are nonsequitors taken to the extream. Yet, bad books can often make you feel better about yourself. It's sunny today.

[Johanna · Rating 2 out of 5]

The writing style was different, almost stream of conscious, with lots of detailed quirkiness and dry, irony. It took me a while to adjust my reading ear the unusual voice, but eventually I found the groove. (It's kinda of like trying to adjust my reading ear to understanding Shakespeare when I haven't read it in a while.) The book had plenty of colorful characters surrounding the protagonist and lots of unique, out-of-nowhere-but-bizarrely funny plot twists. I really wanted to like it, but in the end, this book just wasn't my cup of tea.