Big Snake: The Hunt for the World's Largest Python

by robert-twigger

How would you spend the five months between getting engaged and getting married? Arguing over the invites? Worrying about how much it was all going to cost? Robert Twigger decided that the time would be best spent hunting for the world's largest snake in some of the more remote corners of South East Asia. Quite what his fiancée thought of this idea is another story. At this point, it should be made clear that Twigger's previous experience of snakes is precisely nil, and that his motives are purely financial. Trawling the Internet one evening, he discovered that the Roosevelt Prize of $50,000 for the live capture of a snake over 30 feet long was still unclaimed and, with a brilliant synaptic leap, reckoned that he was the man for the job.

As a premise for riches it is a complete non-starter. It soon becomes clear that the reason the prize has remained unclaimed is because snakes very rarely grow to 30 feet. The longest yet taken alive--a reticulated python--measured 28 feet and no one really expects to find one any longer. But as a premise for a book, with Twigger cast in the leading role as some latter-day Redmond O'Hanlon innocent abroad, it's tremendously good fun. Twigger begins his poetic quest in Kuala Lumpur. I suppose a man's got to start somewhere but the sewers of KL aren't the first place that spring to mind. Still, it gives us the opportunity to meet a few unlikely characters --in the shape of the Jabatan boys who are happy to feed Twigger's fantasies so long as he is paying their wages. Before long, Twigger realises that his chances of finding the longest snake in KL are about the same as his chances of dating the self- styled most beautiful girl in the world--who he bumps into in a night club. We then branch out into the forests of Indonesia, where the search begins in earnest.

The various encounters with snakes really serve as a backdrop for a portrait of the little-known archipelagos of Malaya and Indonesia. To describe them as a world apart is only to scratch the surface. Twigger writes with comedic ease but he still brings to light the tensions of two cultures colliding. He may have thought he was going for a jaunt in the jungle but he finds a heart of darkness. Much to our surprise--and one suspects his--Twigger does eventually locate a big snake, but the final capture is not what he expected. It spoils the ending to say what does happen--but I don¹t think I¹m giving too much away when I tell you that the snake was well under 30 feet. --John Crace

Genres: Travel, Nonfiction, Ebooks

320 pages, Paperback

First published March 18, 1999

Reviews

[Eric_W · Rating 5 out of 5]

Twigger, about to get married, needed a goal, and his roommate solved his problem by discovering there was a $50,000 award being offered by the Wildlife Conservation Society of New York to anyone who could bring back a live snake over thirty feet long. (Seems a rather bizarre award for a conservation society, but then what do I know?) Anacondas, the snake one usually thinks of as being large, rarely exceed eighteen feet in length, so the python seemed the best bet and they live in southeast Asia.

Twigger is one of those travel writers who engage your interest telling a seemingly irrelevant story chocked full of information. The python, for example, can be rather disgusting. When asked the worst thing about pythons, a snake expert Twigger consulted replied, “When they shit on you. It can be very liquid, white urea mixed with black faeces. Sometimes they spray it all over you, very pungent. And a fifteen foot python can produce a lot of crap.” It also takes at least a twenty-five-foot snake to eat a man. “But if it did, there’d be nothing left except your gold fillings and maybe your wristwatch.” The last-ditch protection against an attacking snake is to ram snuff down its throat. The nicotine is absorbed almost instantly by the snake’s chemo-receptive Jacobsen’s organ and the snake dies almost instantly.

Now, think about that. That’s really useful information. In any case, off Twigger trots for Kawala Lampur and Buru, where he meets and describes the local villagers in his quest for the big one. Often the hunt for the snake takes second place to his travelogue of the jungles, but his descriptions of local customs, food, and the impact of logging on local communities is entertaining and informative. The result of the hunt I will leave for you to discover. I did find it anticlimactic, however.

[J.W. · Rating 1 out of 5]

Bear with me, this is going to be long.

Firstly, apologies to the well-meaning person who bought me a signed copy of "Big Snake" by Robert Twigger. You obviously can't have known it was going to be a book that pissed me off to the point of being fuming for a whole day.

The first warning sign was the 3 recommendations on the reverse cover came from: The Daily Mail, The Mail on Sunday and Maxim. But I know you don't choose your fans and your editor most likely chooses which reviews to quote. The second sign was that very early on we learn that the author is an Oxbridge type whose Grandad was a Colonel, whose huge house had an orchard.

He also revels in the fact said Grandad sent him and the other kids into the orchard to ensure they would be stung by bees and not grow up worried about bee stings. In the circles I move in, there's a name for those guys. Psychopaths. Also, that said Grandad was a boxer who used to walk into bars and be deliberately obtuse until someone started a fight and he battered them ("sharpening his skills"). Again,several words for this kind of person spring to mind.

Now - the younger, stupider me would have written him off from that information alone. Reverse snobbery and all that. Idiotic. I love books and films and art and music by some very, very privileged people. I recognized that as a prejudice, which brings me to this:

Robert Twigger is, or was at the time he chose to record his "thoughts", a misogynist dickhead.

I don't really need to do anything more than quote page 40 (the penultimate page before I gave up).

"Ally was Zaki's prized possession, a blond haired English model, his girlfriend". You're expecting him to go on to perhaps explore this "possession" issue, discuss that that's how Zaki saw it and that he was a misogynist for seeing it/treating her as such, right? No such luck, it just glides by, she's his possession. It gets better:

"Ally had an extraordinary pair of breasts that somehow got in everybody's face, but when I averted my eyes I quickly concluded that she was, in fact, weak-minded".

I know he's been described as a 19th Century Explorer trapped in a modern body, but is he a parody of one? He goes on talking about her boobs until he's "elbowed out of the way by a new admirer." Did I mention he's on a trip to catch a snake as a last adventure before he gets married? Lucky lady.

As if that's not bad enough, THE PAGE AFTER he complains about how an ex-convict in the bar "sizes me up first" before talking to him. Yeah, imagine that, imagine someone gawping at your appearance and making judgments on you based on your physical form and exaggerated body language in a bar where you clearly stand out.

Total moron, awful writer, but worst of all: a celebrated misogynist.

[Benjamin Stahl · Rating 3 out of 5]

This one took a little while to grow on me - and even then, it only grew on me like a neglected flower, watered once every week or two, deprived of all but scant sunlight.

I chose this on account of it being a snake book. They scare and fascinate me. However, it became more and more clear throughout that Robert Twigger has not published something aimed at those specifically interested in snakes. Rather, this is more of a travel diary for another white person disappearing into Indonesia and Malaysia to find the source of all being or whatever the fuck - at the very least, to get the ॐ symbol tattooed on his ass or something.

There is actually very little time devoted to snake-hunting in the jungle. Much random information on them, taken largely from former snake-hunter, C.J.P. Ionides, who to be honest really doesn't need all those initials when he has a surname like an Ancient Greek chronicler of shit that never happened.

On the surface this disappointed me, and would likely disappoint anyone else drawn in by the book's secondary title, The Hunt for the World's Longest Python. However, while I have read more entertaining travelogues, and while the writer can be somewhat unlikable, this one does still have some decent moments. In the end, I decided to be nice and give it three stars. And to be honest, maybe "the longest python" was never meant to evoke snakes anyway. Maybe it was a euphemism for something else, in which case he probably did find it. I mean, have you seen those guys who can wrap their things around a stick multiple times? My God - they might be the longest "pythons" if you unravel them. But surely they'd be about the most useless also? Unless you were into bondage and didn't have any ropes left.

[Gremling · Rating 2 out of 5]

Dear god, does this book drag on..

[Lee D · Rating 3 out of 5]

Could have been so much better. The writing style was fun and easy to read and I loved the travel element of the book. The biggest disappointment for me was reading the whole book to find out he never located the giant snake he was searching for, and his final attempt at landing one was over in seconds. It left me wondering why he wrote the book and it was such an anti-climax. Gets its 3 stars for the educational side about travelling to Asia and the wildlife / cultures encountered.

[Mike Muskal · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thought this book would be more exciting than what it turned out to be.

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is part memoir, part travelogue, and part adventure story. Twigger, who knows nothing about snakes or the jungle, decides that it would be a good idea to try to win a $50,000 prize by catching a snake over 30 feet long. Along the way he learns a lot about snakes and so do we, like why you want to carry snuff into the jungle with you. But even though there is a lot of information here he kinds of sneaks it in a little at a time and you don't always even realize that you are learning something because it fits in so well with the flow of the story. And in his quest he enlists the help of some very colorful characters who are eager to help even if they don't understand what it is he is doing. And as he introduces you to all the people he meets along the way you learn about their culture and their land. You also get a look into his own life and stories about his grandfather that make the story more personal. At turns informative, funny and exciting it is worth a look if you like stories about adventure and exploration, even if you don't care that much about snakes. The ending did seem a bit abrupt though so it was slightly unsatisfying.

[Ensiform · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author, an Oxford-educated poet, goes to Borneo in search of a thirty-foot python, ostensibly to win a prize originally posted by Teddy Roosevelt and worth $50,000. But he’s about to be married, and he wants to prove something to himself and the memory of Colonel H., his grandfather, one of the last of the old British Empire men.

The book is a hilarious, wry, erudite blend of travelogue, mythology, anthropology and memoir. Twigger’s a fine writer, even if he does make the common mistake of inadequately setting up situations and geographic locations for the reader less expert than he. In pace and structure, the book is ably constructed, and it’s always honest, sometimes outrageously funny. One of the great travel/adventure books.

[Aileen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this tale of Twigger's quest to find a 30ft+ live snake in order to win the $50k Roosevelt prize. Totally inept and just wanting a final adventure before settling into marriage, he flies off to Asia and starts looking. From Malaysia to ever more remote Indonesian islands the reptile is always just a bit further on. Enlisting the help of natives who seem bemused at his quest, this is a lovely portrait of life in the jungle, and how not to do it. The author is prepared to laugh at himself which makes for a very enjoyable read. I've since found out he's written a whole lot more books since so will be having a look at what else he has to offer.

[Andy · Rating 3 out of 5]

A bit longer than it needs to be, but a good adventure story about an outsider trying to fake his way through the jungle.

[Dan Piette]

Hunt for a reticulated python in Malaysia and Indonesia