What do you think?
Rate this book
Major Karnage
DON'T TALK TO HIM ABOUT THE WAR!!!
It has been 20 years since The War, and Major John Karnage has finally settled into locked up in an insane asylum, with an explosive device embedded in the back of his neck to curb his violent tendencies.
Karnage and his troopers have been deemed unfit to live in normal society. Like a bit of old chewing gum stuck under a coffee table, the world has left The War and its scarred, unstable veterans behind. The military has been disbanded and World Peace has descended upon the Earth. Its inhabitants live happy, profitable lives under the global rule of the benevolent Dabney Corporation. All is tea and roses in this new, sanitized world . . .
Until a terrifying threat from beyond the stars rears its squiggly head!
An invading armada of aliens threatens to destroy the Earth, and it's up to Major Karnage to stop them -- as long as he doesn't accidentally blow his own head off first.
It has been 20 years since The War, and Major John Karnage has finally settled into locked up in an insane asylum, with an explosive device embedded in the back of his neck to curb his violent tendencies.
Karnage and his troopers have been deemed unfit to live in normal society. Like a bit of old chewing gum stuck under a coffee table, the world has left The War and its scarred, unstable veterans behind. The military has been disbanded and World Peace has descended upon the Earth. Its inhabitants live happy, profitable lives under the global rule of the benevolent Dabney Corporation. All is tea and roses in this new, sanitized world . . .
Until a terrifying threat from beyond the stars rears its squiggly head!
An invading armada of aliens threatens to destroy the Earth, and it's up to Major Karnage to stop them -- as long as he doesn't accidentally blow his own head off first.
- GenresScience FictionFiction
334 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2010
3 people are currently reading
50 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
July 21, 2012
i'm only a few chapters in but so far i am lovin' the wild ride that is Major Karnage. as you can tell -just by the title- it's got a fun satirical vibe to it. a little Kurt Vonnegut. a little Joseph Heller Catch 22. not nearly as good as the books by those two authors, but the same sense of irreverance is present. if the author can keep this up, Major Karnage will be one of those books i don't quite know what to do with. as sheer enjoyable entertainment it deserves 4 or 5 stars, but as a work of literature? no. i will have me a dilemma.
so i've decided on four. i enjoyed the heck out of this novel. i can't remember the last thing i read that was this much fun. that's definitely worth four stars.
so i've decided on four. i enjoyed the heck out of this novel. i can't remember the last thing i read that was this much fun. that's definitely worth four stars.
March 20, 2011
“You can do it, Major!”
“Damn right, Cookie.”
“You’ve got the cojones, sir!”
“You got that right, Velasquez.”
“You’ve got it in you, sir!”
“Amen to that, Koch.”
“I’ve got faith in you, Major.”
“Is that you, Heckler?”
“You bet your ass it is, John.”
Karnage grinned. Now he knew he was hearing things. Old Heckler hadn’t spoken a word in years. Not since that day in Kandahar, the worst day of—
The War!
Battle and bullets and flames! Bombers buzzing as they fly overhead. Their payloads whining as they hurtle towards the scorched earth. The night sky strobin’ and flashin’ and pulsin’ like a goddamn disco inferno. Debris and dirt and mud and pain and screams fltin’ in all directions. Forward march, soldiers! Forward! Take ‘em all! Shoot and fire and kill and die-die-die—
Karnage slapped himself. The Sanity patch crooned “Citrus Blast” as the visions of battle faded, returning to the black expanse of starry night.
***
Major John Karnage has two problems: the sanity patch at the back of his head that will take his head off if he crosses from Strawberry Shortcake to Tricycle Red, and Unidentified Flying Objects of Death! Fortunately, neither matter is anything more than a minor obstacle to a grizzled, moderately unbalanced, former army battalion leader.
Major Karnage is author Gord Zajac’s first full novel, and it’s a beast of a unique colour. As a cross between a contemporary social satire (with the Dabney corporation and its long-dead originator, Galt, filling in nicely for Walt and the cultural weight the Disney corporation has had for decades now) and a send-up of classic sci-fi serials, it works largely on the strength of its quick-off-the-mark writing and genuinely witty characterizations—seriously, Stumpy? Great name.
The segment quoted at the start of this review is indicative of a large amount of the text and the speed at which it jumps around in tone, which is a terrific source of its humour. In fact, this is one of the few books I’ve read this year that has made me laugh out loud—in public, no less, because I just love getting “WTF” stares from passers-by. The chapters work to keep the pace as quick as the writing—rarely will you find one more than five or six pages in length.
Major Karnage was a great, sit-your-ass-down-and-lose-your-mind kind of a read—it reminded me, in a way, of what Spielberg and Lucas claimed to have been shooting for with the creation of Indiana Jones, a lovingly constructed tribute to the ‘50s adventure serial mindset. Though Karnage goes in the other direction, shooting for the travesty that will be the corporate designed far-flung future, the established tone is similar, the execution just as much of a blast to ride along with.
In fact, if I were to fault Major Karnage on any one thing, it would be that it sometimes felt as if it were trying to do too much; by balancing war-based insanity, questions of discarded troops and their worth in the aftermath of harsh and unforgiving war, religious zealots and the men (and women) behind the curtain, corporate dominance, social distortion, cloning, alien supremacy and hive minds, the book is able to maintain its roller coaster pace, but at the expense of deeper exploration into a few of these areas. In the end, though, I can’t decide what I would want trimmed, or if I would simply want a longer, more detailed read. But then there’s the conundrum of what that might do to the book’s already tight pacing. I can’t fault the book for taking on so much—I only wish there could have been more space to dive into some of the more compelling strands of plot. Make no mistake though, if you want to escape from the norm for a few hours, Major Karnage will satisfy your psychotic-alien-war-lust like few others.
“So come on, buddy. Let’s go. You and me: brain to brain. Cerebro a cerebro.”
“Damn right, Cookie.”
“You’ve got the cojones, sir!”
“You got that right, Velasquez.”
“You’ve got it in you, sir!”
“Amen to that, Koch.”
“I’ve got faith in you, Major.”
“Is that you, Heckler?”
“You bet your ass it is, John.”
Karnage grinned. Now he knew he was hearing things. Old Heckler hadn’t spoken a word in years. Not since that day in Kandahar, the worst day of—
The War!
Battle and bullets and flames! Bombers buzzing as they fly overhead. Their payloads whining as they hurtle towards the scorched earth. The night sky strobin’ and flashin’ and pulsin’ like a goddamn disco inferno. Debris and dirt and mud and pain and screams fltin’ in all directions. Forward march, soldiers! Forward! Take ‘em all! Shoot and fire and kill and die-die-die—
Karnage slapped himself. The Sanity patch crooned “Citrus Blast” as the visions of battle faded, returning to the black expanse of starry night.
***
Major John Karnage has two problems: the sanity patch at the back of his head that will take his head off if he crosses from Strawberry Shortcake to Tricycle Red, and Unidentified Flying Objects of Death! Fortunately, neither matter is anything more than a minor obstacle to a grizzled, moderately unbalanced, former army battalion leader.
Major Karnage is author Gord Zajac’s first full novel, and it’s a beast of a unique colour. As a cross between a contemporary social satire (with the Dabney corporation and its long-dead originator, Galt, filling in nicely for Walt and the cultural weight the Disney corporation has had for decades now) and a send-up of classic sci-fi serials, it works largely on the strength of its quick-off-the-mark writing and genuinely witty characterizations—seriously, Stumpy? Great name.
The segment quoted at the start of this review is indicative of a large amount of the text and the speed at which it jumps around in tone, which is a terrific source of its humour. In fact, this is one of the few books I’ve read this year that has made me laugh out loud—in public, no less, because I just love getting “WTF” stares from passers-by. The chapters work to keep the pace as quick as the writing—rarely will you find one more than five or six pages in length.
Major Karnage was a great, sit-your-ass-down-and-lose-your-mind kind of a read—it reminded me, in a way, of what Spielberg and Lucas claimed to have been shooting for with the creation of Indiana Jones, a lovingly constructed tribute to the ‘50s adventure serial mindset. Though Karnage goes in the other direction, shooting for the travesty that will be the corporate designed far-flung future, the established tone is similar, the execution just as much of a blast to ride along with.
In fact, if I were to fault Major Karnage on any one thing, it would be that it sometimes felt as if it were trying to do too much; by balancing war-based insanity, questions of discarded troops and their worth in the aftermath of harsh and unforgiving war, religious zealots and the men (and women) behind the curtain, corporate dominance, social distortion, cloning, alien supremacy and hive minds, the book is able to maintain its roller coaster pace, but at the expense of deeper exploration into a few of these areas. In the end, though, I can’t decide what I would want trimmed, or if I would simply want a longer, more detailed read. But then there’s the conundrum of what that might do to the book’s already tight pacing. I can’t fault the book for taking on so much—I only wish there could have been more space to dive into some of the more compelling strands of plot. Make no mistake though, if you want to escape from the norm for a few hours, Major Karnage will satisfy your psychotic-alien-war-lust like few others.
“So come on, buddy. Let’s go. You and me: brain to brain. Cerebro a cerebro.”
February 4, 2011
Major Karnage is a Saturday night party of a novel with machine gun pacing, insane characters and wild plot developments. Karnage is a psychologically ravaged veteran of a pan-Asian war against an enemy known only as Uncle Stanley. Twenty years in an asylum with the remains of his platoon hasn't mellowed his rage a whit. In fact, his Hulk-like fury has to be controlled by a sanity patch which threatens to blow his head off of his shoulders if he ever gets completely out of control. It gauges his anger in a terrorist rainbow of tasty warning colors leading up to death like Peachy Keen, Daffodil and Strawberry Shortcake. Add to this his flashback freakouts whenever anyone mentions The War and you've got a very short fuse about to burn itself out at any moment.
And then the alien invasion comes. Karnage, a being of pure determination but with no plan of which to speak, goes forth into the fray.
Karnage is James Bond resourceful and plays life by ear which infuses the novel with spontaneity and surprise. We never know where the story's going because although Karnage can conceive of a goal, the steps toward that goal's achievement only occur to him on the fly. Along the way we get those smoke-sucking aliens as well as cultists, monsters, a police force dressed as cats and a Disney-esque company which runs the world. And as much as I've just given to you, there are still twists and situations of which you'll never dream.
This is wonderfully ridiculous, cartoony fun that WILL make you laugh, that WILL keep you reading and reading quickly. Zajac channels the spirit of Robert E. Howard for his action scenes and there are a hell of a lot of action scenes. The more mellow scenes actually begin to stand out as anomalies. Potentially boring transitions are skipped through a trick that becomes a joke in itself after the first dozen times it's employed. This man gets knocked out more than any ten ordinary heroes.
But cracking through the two-dimensional facade of this Twenty-First century answer to pulp fiction reveals enough depth to satisfy the reader. Over time we discover that Karnage is not your stereotypical mindless brute. He cares deeply for his people and this is what truly drives him on and ultimately proves to be his salvation.
Major Karnage is an extra-dimensional amusement park ride that's somehow all short climbs and long, thrilling descents. I highly recommend it.
And then the alien invasion comes. Karnage, a being of pure determination but with no plan of which to speak, goes forth into the fray.
Karnage is James Bond resourceful and plays life by ear which infuses the novel with spontaneity and surprise. We never know where the story's going because although Karnage can conceive of a goal, the steps toward that goal's achievement only occur to him on the fly. Along the way we get those smoke-sucking aliens as well as cultists, monsters, a police force dressed as cats and a Disney-esque company which runs the world. And as much as I've just given to you, there are still twists and situations of which you'll never dream.
This is wonderfully ridiculous, cartoony fun that WILL make you laugh, that WILL keep you reading and reading quickly. Zajac channels the spirit of Robert E. Howard for his action scenes and there are a hell of a lot of action scenes. The more mellow scenes actually begin to stand out as anomalies. Potentially boring transitions are skipped through a trick that becomes a joke in itself after the first dozen times it's employed. This man gets knocked out more than any ten ordinary heroes.
But cracking through the two-dimensional facade of this Twenty-First century answer to pulp fiction reveals enough depth to satisfy the reader. Over time we discover that Karnage is not your stereotypical mindless brute. He cares deeply for his people and this is what truly drives him on and ultimately proves to be his salvation.
Major Karnage is an extra-dimensional amusement park ride that's somehow all short climbs and long, thrilling descents. I highly recommend it.
September 12, 2011
I really liked this one.
Gord Zajac's Major Karnage is unpretentious. It doesn't aspire to be great, just to be good at what it is: a fun, action-packed beach read or airplane wall that will keep you entertained while you got time to kill. And at that it succeeds magnificently.
The title character inhabits what appears to be a world just different enough from ours to protect the author from trademark infringement suits. Initially kept in an asylum to control his hair-trigger temper, he escapes to go on many adventures and in the end (not much of a spoiler) save the world.
There's not much subtle about this book. The protagonist is the good guy, and anyone who helps him is also a on the side of the angels. Everybody else is an evil villain. It's that simple. (Foul language in itself doesn't turn a hero into an anti-hero, folks.) Don't waste your time looking for layers.
That is my main criticism of Major Karnage (which, again, I enjoyed immensely): that there's no potential for divided loyalties or for things not being as they seem. If I were telling this story, I'd keep the reader guessing about whether or not Karnage really is crazy, the world really is under attack, and his "troopers" are actually figments of his imagination. But then it would be my book, not Zajac's, and I'm sure he made the decision consciously. It's a tradeoff, and I'm coming around to believing that Zajac's 600-rounds-a-minute pacing was a better choice than all my nits about characterization and subtext.
Still in all, if you're looking for a book to hold in one hand while you've got a can of beer in the other, this is the one you're looking for. Enjoy!
Gord Zajac's Major Karnage is unpretentious. It doesn't aspire to be great, just to be good at what it is: a fun, action-packed beach read or airplane wall that will keep you entertained while you got time to kill. And at that it succeeds magnificently.
The title character inhabits what appears to be a world just different enough from ours to protect the author from trademark infringement suits. Initially kept in an asylum to control his hair-trigger temper, he escapes to go on many adventures and in the end (not much of a spoiler) save the world.
There's not much subtle about this book. The protagonist is the good guy, and anyone who helps him is also a on the side of the angels. Everybody else is an evil villain. It's that simple. (Foul language in itself doesn't turn a hero into an anti-hero, folks.) Don't waste your time looking for layers.
That is my main criticism of Major Karnage (which, again, I enjoyed immensely): that there's no potential for divided loyalties or for things not being as they seem. If I were telling this story, I'd keep the reader guessing about whether or not Karnage really is crazy, the world really is under attack, and his "troopers" are actually figments of his imagination. But then it would be my book, not Zajac's, and I'm sure he made the decision consciously. It's a tradeoff, and I'm coming around to believing that Zajac's 600-rounds-a-minute pacing was a better choice than all my nits about characterization and subtext.
Still in all, if you're looking for a book to hold in one hand while you've got a can of beer in the other, this is the one you're looking for. Enjoy!
June 29, 2011
Quite obviously, Gord Zajac is first and foremost concerned with having a good time. This is not hard science fiction, and it doesn't have any pretensions to be. No, this is glorious b-movie-worth sci-fi ridiculousness, a non-stop chase through a landscape limited only by Zajac's imagination. Heavily indebted to pretty much every movie and novel you can think of, Zajac begs, borrows, and steals to great effect, steamrolling over plotholes and inconsistencies with glee.
Read the rest of the review here.
Read the rest of the review here.
August 6, 2023
I had done a bit of a dive on Gord Zajac and was saddened to see that, despite having a career writing for television/movies, this was his only foray into books (and I looked hard for possible pseudonyms).
This is the story of what happens when an administration's policies wholly turn 180 degrees after the alien war is supposedly over (the enemy just left): 1) you mothball all of the individuals who contributed to wining the war, 2) you give corporations 100% carte blanche on shaping the country in its own sterilized image, 3) you find yourself not ready for when the G**-DMN squigglies come back in force!
Major Karnage finds our hero put to pasture in an insane asylum now that the long war is over and they have no need for a war general. Prone to violent and epileptic fits of rage when there are even mere mentions of the war, he also has had a computer plugged into his head, with an artificial intelligence monitoring his rage to ensure he remains calm else the bomb that the AI is attached to will detonate).
But then the squiggle-heads returned in force, attacked in force (including the asylum housing John Karnage), freeing our hero to get his old crew back together and kick alien butt.
The problem is that John was not properly discharged and the therapeutic AI is still active in his skull, monitoring and curbing the saving of the world with mandated meditation and breathing exercises to keep him calm.
Zajac does an excellent job of keeping the right balance of comedy with ultra-male aggression here. It is a shame we did not see anything further from him.
This is the story of what happens when an administration's policies wholly turn 180 degrees after the alien war is supposedly over (the enemy just left): 1) you mothball all of the individuals who contributed to wining the war, 2) you give corporations 100% carte blanche on shaping the country in its own sterilized image, 3) you find yourself not ready for when the G**-DMN squigglies come back in force!
Major Karnage finds our hero put to pasture in an insane asylum now that the long war is over and they have no need for a war general. Prone to violent and epileptic fits of rage when there are even mere mentions of the war, he also has had a computer plugged into his head, with an artificial intelligence monitoring his rage to ensure he remains calm else the bomb that the AI is attached to will detonate).
But then the squiggle-heads returned in force, attacked in force (including the asylum housing John Karnage), freeing our hero to get his old crew back together and kick alien butt.
The problem is that John was not properly discharged and the therapeutic AI is still active in his skull, monitoring and curbing the saving of the world with mandated meditation and breathing exercises to keep him calm.
Zajac does an excellent job of keeping the right balance of comedy with ultra-male aggression here. It is a shame we did not see anything further from him.
July 11, 2020
I'm not sure why but I loved this tongue-in-cheek, humorous romp but I did. Well written with a fast pace.
April 23, 2021
Just a lot of fun. I'd watch the hell out of this if it were made into a movie.
January 16, 2026
Reads like a Marvel comics movie script. Not quite as mind-bending as PK Dick but well plotted and decent character development. The main thing is that the book is FUN to read!
March 6, 2017
Major Karnage, by Gord Zajac, did not seem promising, at first, given my general antipathy towards military science fiction. However, the satire of the macho military mindset inherent in the over-the-top nature of the title character quickly won me over. It didn't hurt that the novel starts with the Major incarcerated in an asylum, his platoon missing, presumed dead. Worse, Earth has been at peace long enough that people see no need for military preparedness in general or Major Karnage in particular, putting a collar on him that will kill him if he gets too violent.
Ouch.
Major Karnage breaks out of the asylum, of course, and is immediately thrown into an alien invasion that involves a strange religious cult and a multinational entertainment corporation that looks suspiciously like one in the real world that was founded on cartoons of a rodent. Within the parody of an action-adventure story is some very smart satire.
Zajac also has a lot of fun with the mechanics of the plot. Watching Major Karnage deal with violent situations using a minimum of violence himself is endlessly amusing. The combination of smart and silly humour makes the novel readable on different levels, which should appeal to a broad variety of readers.
If the novel does have a flaw, it is one that is common to a lot of humourous narratives: at some point, the need to resolve the plot takes over, diminishing the work's comic inventiveness. The first half of Major Karnage is a wild riot of comic invention; while there are new comic ideas in the second half, they don't come nearly as frequently. But don’t let that deter you: this is a very funny book.
Originally published on the Amazing Stories Web site (http://amazingstoriesmag.com/2015/09/...) on September 23, 2015.
Ouch.
Major Karnage breaks out of the asylum, of course, and is immediately thrown into an alien invasion that involves a strange religious cult and a multinational entertainment corporation that looks suspiciously like one in the real world that was founded on cartoons of a rodent. Within the parody of an action-adventure story is some very smart satire.
Zajac also has a lot of fun with the mechanics of the plot. Watching Major Karnage deal with violent situations using a minimum of violence himself is endlessly amusing. The combination of smart and silly humour makes the novel readable on different levels, which should appeal to a broad variety of readers.
If the novel does have a flaw, it is one that is common to a lot of humourous narratives: at some point, the need to resolve the plot takes over, diminishing the work's comic inventiveness. The first half of Major Karnage is a wild riot of comic invention; while there are new comic ideas in the second half, they don't come nearly as frequently. But don’t let that deter you: this is a very funny book.
Originally published on the Amazing Stories Web site (http://amazingstoriesmag.com/2015/09/...) on September 23, 2015.
February 18, 2014
This book is funny. At first I thought it was ridiculous. Chapters were a page long and I didn’t see a point to anything. Then it started to sound satirical and the protagonist, (who is worshipped as the Messiah after he slays a worm), and his journey to save Earth all made sense.
Earth is an idiotopia, where its inhabitants blindly follow avaricious religious leaders and a corporation is the new government. Cops carry goober guns, aliens are trying to takeover Earth; and hovercars, jetpacks and giant worms are the primary modes de transport.
People are easily fooled because they don’t think.
Spragmites (followers of a religion with a ginormous worm as its all-powerful leader), whose teachings preach peace and non-violence, go on a crusade after the high priestess tells them their religion is being threatened by demons - when in actuality her position as queen of the people is threatened. To me this paralleled how religious wars of the past had less to do with religion, and more to do with power.
Highlights:
“Abandon balls!”
“The worm is the word”
“It’s okay, Stumpy. Tristan wants people to think what she wants them to think when she wants them to think it, and then only until she thinks they should be thinking something else.”
Earth is an idiotopia, where its inhabitants blindly follow avaricious religious leaders and a corporation is the new government. Cops carry goober guns, aliens are trying to takeover Earth; and hovercars, jetpacks and giant worms are the primary modes de transport.
People are easily fooled because they don’t think.
Spragmites (followers of a religion with a ginormous worm as its all-powerful leader), whose teachings preach peace and non-violence, go on a crusade after the high priestess tells them their religion is being threatened by demons - when in actuality her position as queen of the people is threatened. To me this paralleled how religious wars of the past had less to do with religion, and more to do with power.
Highlights:
“Abandon balls!”
“The worm is the word”
“It’s okay, Stumpy. Tristan wants people to think what she wants them to think when she wants them to think it, and then only until she thinks they should be thinking something else.”
April 7, 2011
If you like roleplaying games and books that read as if each chapter is an episode on a 30 minute serial show on the SiFi channel then this book is for you. I thought the characters lacked depth - most importantly the protaganist seem rather one note, but maybe that was the point - if not then I missed it. I was not invested. The author used the repeated device of the title character Major Karnage getting help, upon waking, of often new characters who always seemed to have the exact inside info - he needs at the time. Almost like Karnage was waking from a dream within a dream. Not really my cup of tea - or Latte - but I respect the originality.
May 22, 2012
This book was hilarious because it was the least pretentious book I've read in a long, long time. That being said, it isn't particularly well written, nor is the story even very good, but because the author didn't seem to have any illusions about what kind of book he was writing, it was a fun read. Would recommend this book to people who don't generally read books or are not the bookish type.
June 12, 2012
A gleefully chaotic sci fi tale of a future world, featuring a tough guy main character with a temper. Karnage stands as the last hope of humanity in the face of an alien invasion... if he can keep from getting his head blown off by his own anger issues. Action packed, fine sense of pacing and timing, and really gritty. Fans of the genre will enjoy this one.
July 3, 2012
Read somewhat like the novelization of a comic book--more action than characterization.
September 2, 2012
An interesting take on pulp fiction with bizarre elements galore.
November 29, 2012
A fun read, the story is over the top and ridiculous. The weak point is the writing style itself. I often wished it was someone else writing the book. Would make an excellent video game.
December 1, 2012
Great sci-fi. A bit spooky given how much Disney is buying up these days! Original. Well done.
July 12, 2014
It is an odd book. Reminds me of Cowboy Fengs Space bar but not quite as well written
August 14, 2016
Zany, fast ride though a comical but threatening world. A fun read. Sort of a tongue-in-cheek tone but with mystery and drama.
Want to Read
November 14, 2014This is copy 6 of 51 signed numbered copies.
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews