A Fish Has No Word For Water: A punk homeless San Francisco memoir

by Violet Blue

2023 Independent Publisher Book Awards GOLD

"A gripping account of survival and a condemnation of the conditions that marginalize and endanger the unsheltered." —KIRKUS

" In the superb A Fish Has No Word For Water , her highly readable memoir, Blue plunges readers into a life that is both a freewheeling adventure tale and a clear-eyed survey of stories of human wreckage... Sharp dialogue, incisive observations, and polished prose." — BookLife Editor's Pick

Her mother was a hacker-for-hire and drug dealer to Silicon Valley's elite; after everything went wrong she was homeless and alone on San Francisco streets at the age of thirteen. Fleeing her mother's life on the run from a double-crossed cartel and fresh out of witness protection, she joined Silicon Valley's children foraging food from San Francisco's trash cans and sleeping in abandoned cars -- while tech's earliest generations of workers partied, broke laws, and spat on homeless kids begging for spare change under the glow of tech's latest creations.

A Fish Has No Word For Water is a memoir about what it's really like for homeless kids, the strength of chosen family, and a hard love letter to San Francisco.

This memoir of survival unflinchingly shows Silicon Valley's children begging in the shadows of tech's shining towers, the surprising care circles formed by adults in San Francisco's LGBTQ community, and a city that is a mosaic of technologies and peoples that should not be together, but are. It upends stereotypes about children who survive abuse, young sex workers, LGBTQ youth, resilience in the face of immense grief and trauma, and how communities form to overcome some of the deadliest forms of discrimination. It reveals to readers that there was never a case for tech's shine in the first place.

Most of all, it is a story of tremendous resilience and how we can remake trauma into an invitation to be part of a larger world.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir

390 pages, Paperback

Published January 8, 2023

About the author

Violet Blue has authored and edited over 40 books, including five (Bronze, Silver and Gold) IPPY award-winners, some of which are now in eight translations. Violet was a guest on the Oprah Winfrey Show, when Ms. Winfrey featured Violet's book on women and pornography (11/17/09). That book is also excerpted and featured on Oprah Winfrey's website, as well as in O, The Oprah Magazine.

Violet owns and operates Digita Publications (digitapub.com), an indie digital publisher of e-books and audio books. Rather than a royalty system, Digita books share all sales with the authors fairly and transparently, featuring books in both DRM-free versions and for Kindle on Amazon.

Her online sexuality blog, Tiny Nibbles, is one of the Internet's longest-running sex blogs, and has won many accolades and awards. For her day job, Ms. Blue is a journalist on hacking, crime, cybersecurity, privacy, and at-risk populations for outlets ranging from Engadget to CNET, and occasionally outlets like CBS News, CNN and O the Oprah Magazine.

Reviews

[Carolee Wheeler · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really had no idea what to expect when I backed this, and I found it to be a beautiful, heartfelt story. Not of a “bygone San Francisco,” as others have said — the troubles catalogued in this memoir are still very much present, from the city that can’t help its unhoused or its drug-addicted, to the city officials blinded by greed, to a public health system that can’t manage a raging disease — rather, what brightened this memoir for me was the idea that individual actions make a difference. That our communities hold us up. And that support comes from many directions.

If you’re interested in local history, punk, solidarity groups, or just an uplifting story, this book is for you.

[Kris Freedain · Rating 5 out of 5]

I couldn't put it down.
I've followed Violet on Twitter (& now Mastodon) for many years now; she always has interesting things to share, and I've long considered her an important voice to listen to. This book proves it. Her honesty and openness in sharing a glimpse of the life she has been through, the life she rose above, shows a resilience and strength I am I awe of. Violet, you are amazing.

[Milady Guillaume · Rating 5 out of 5]

Violet Blue: A Fish Has No Word for Water. A Punk Homeless San Francisco Memoir

“…is a memoir about what it’s really like for homeless kids, the strength of chosen family, and a hard love letter to San Francisco.”

Living a complicated life with her mother wasn’t where a young Violet should have been living. Drugs, violence, even a cartel, to name a few, added to the reasons she walked out the door and into a life on the streets. Not just any street, she and her friends lived in and around Haight and Castro Streets. Some of the roughest parts of town.

Violet’s story draws the reader in to feel her fears. To see her struggle to maneuver through a tough crowd looking for the few friends she calls family. Desperate, yes. Probably as much as loving.

Within her book’s introduction, Violet Blue exposes the history behind the why of a growing homeless population in San Francisco, CA, USA. How the AIDS crisis affected everyone in the homeless community. “San Francisco is home to 75 billionaires and over 8000 homeless people, over 70% of whom are from San Francisco.” References are included.

[Rob · Rating 5 out of 5]

Violet Blue's evocative prose brings immediacy and life to her account of being a homeless runaway teenager in San Francisco in the 80s. This is a story of being repeatedly failed by those who are supposed to provide love and protection, and a story of finding and creating and protecting community in precarious circumstances, and occasionally a story about finding unlikely allies, all amidst a background of the AIDS crisis and monstrous economic inequality, in a city that she obviously loves.

My only criticism is that it became difficult for me to keep track of everyone, so when someone who hadn't been mentioned in a while was brought up again with implied importance, I often had trouble remembering them and their significance.

[Nick Maricic · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great read, a look not only into what trauma, homelessness, and loss can do to someone but what resilience looks like as well as the importance of a support system no matter what your circumstances. Violet Blue does a great job weaving in political and social commentary and educating the reader about her experiences along the way. I feel grateful to have had the opportunity to see the world through the author's eyes as I read this.

[Luke Nelson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read the opening page and I defy you not to finish the book.

This is an amazing story that will grab you from the first paragraph. Try the first page, if that doesn’t hook you then move on. ;)

[Mel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've never read a book like this, which tells you how rarely a book comes out from the perspective of runaways or young houseless people. I identified with so much in this book and it also reminded me just how much a person's life is changed by even seemingly tiny acts of kindness.

[Elizabeth Lee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gripping. A raw account of a homeless teen in the late 1980's. Rough to read but very moving and heartfelt. Brought back memories of San Francisco before the Silicon Valley takeover. Definitely a page turner.

[Alex Cruise · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed it, it would've been 4/5 but the copyediting was pretty spotty

[Lillian · Rating 5 out of 5]

This goes straight to my favorite books of the year

[Chet · Rating 5 out of 5]

HOLY SHIT read this book. Blue's memoir of her childhood and adolescence is both harrowing and enlightening. Bless her for writing it.

[Heather Fidler · Rating 5 out of 5]

This may be one of the most visceral things I’ve ever read. Blue took me with her into the streets, warehouses, and her own worst moments. I’m in awe of her.

[Buck · Rating 2 out of 5]

Slow moving and repetitive. First person view of the underside of SF in the early days of AIDS.

[Gregg R · Rating 5 out of 5]

The homeless crisis in the U.S. is a national disgrace. This book is an honest, clear-eyed portrait of the regrettably predictable causes of homelessness (drug abuse, sexual abuse, homophobia, racism, blinkered entitlement, abandonment, bad decisions, bad luck) and it's all-too-often heartbreaking consequences (poverty, hunger, hopelessness, disease, ostracism, and death). A Fish Has No Word For Water is also a heartwarming and encouraging portrait of someone who refused to give in to her undeserved situation and fought for herself and her chosen family and friends. We will truly not be a civilized nation until we resolve as a nation to help those in need. Reading this book emphasizes that even the smallest kindness may help save a life. Highly Recommended!

Update: the audiobook is excellent -- Kira Grace is a marvelous narrator!

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a wild card choice from the library when I didn’t have anything at home that I wanted to read and the ones on my want-to-read list at the library all had long wait lists. I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would. The incredible events of Blue’s young life are jaw-dropping in their unbelievability and yet, in the very frank and unreserved way she tells it, I believe it’s 100% true. I learned so much about the reality of folks caught up in housing challenges, and all the circumstances that seem almost designed to keep them on the streets in desperation. The author’s writing shines with intelligence and creativity … it’s hard to know if her writing ability is because of her experiences on the street, or in spite of it. What I liked best about Blue’s writing is how she lays it all out, but doesn’t resort to trauma porn or guilt-shaming the reader.