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Power and Love: A Theory and Practice of Social Change
War is no way to resolve our most problematic group, community, and societal issues, but neither is a peace that simply sweeps our problems under the rug.
To create lasting change we have to learn to work fluidly with two distinct, fundamental drives that are in power—the single-minded desire to achieve one’s solitary purpose; and love—the drive towards unity. They are seemingly contradictory but in fact complimentary. As Martin Luther King put it, “Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic.” Using revealing stories from complex situations he has been involved in all over the world—the Middle East, South Africa, Europe, India, Guatemala, the Philippines, Australia, Canada and the United States—Kahane reveals how to dynamically balance these two forces. Just as when we are toddlers we learn to shift from one foot to the other to move ourselves forward, so we can learn to shift back and forth between power and love in order to move society forward.
To create lasting change we have to learn to work fluidly with two distinct, fundamental drives that are in power—the single-minded desire to achieve one’s solitary purpose; and love—the drive towards unity. They are seemingly contradictory but in fact complimentary. As Martin Luther King put it, “Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic.” Using revealing stories from complex situations he has been involved in all over the world—the Middle East, South Africa, Europe, India, Guatemala, the Philippines, Australia, Canada and the United States—Kahane reveals how to dynamically balance these two forces. Just as when we are toddlers we learn to shift from one foot to the other to move ourselves forward, so we can learn to shift back and forth between power and love in order to move society forward.
192 pages, Paperback
First published December 11, 2009
70 people are currently reading
895 people want to read
About the author
Adam Kahane
21 books92 followersAdam Kahane is a Director of Reos Partners, an international social enterprise that helps people move forward together on their most important and intractable issues.
Adam is a leading organizer, designer and facilitator of processes through which business, government, and civil society leaders can work together to address such challenges. He has worked in more than fifty countries, in every part of the world, with executives and politicians, generals and guerrillas, civil servants and trade unionists, community activists and United Nations officials, clergy and artists.
Adam is a Member of the Order of Canada. In 2022 he was named a Schwab Foundation Social Innovation Thought Leader of the Year at the World Economic Forum in Davos.
Adam is a leading organizer, designer and facilitator of processes through which business, government, and civil society leaders can work together to address such challenges. He has worked in more than fifty countries, in every part of the world, with executives and politicians, generals and guerrillas, civil servants and trade unionists, community activists and United Nations officials, clergy and artists.
Adam is a Member of the Order of Canada. In 2022 he was named a Schwab Foundation Social Innovation Thought Leader of the Year at the World Economic Forum in Davos.
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Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews
October 31, 2011
Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic.
~ Martin Luther King
Of the many wonderful quotes in Adam Kahane’s book Power and Love: A Theory and Practice of Social Change, the one above by Martin Luther King provides the pithiest summary of Kahane's central thesis. His simple argument, elaborated at length in the book, is that we need both power and love to achieve effective social change when faced with tough challenges. When we let either of these drives dominate, we stagger and stumble. Only when they are in balance can we walk successfully and find resolution to complex social challenges.
Some definitions are needed to give this argument its full force. Power and love are common terms with a heavy weight of cultural meaning, so what does Kahane mean when he uses these terms? He draws his definitions from the work of Paul Tillich. Tillich was a Protestant theologian and philosopher. He defines power and love as follows:
Power is the drive of everything living to realize itself, with increasing intensity and extensity.
Love is the drive towards unity of the separated.
So we are not talking about power in the narrow sense of power delivered through politics, celebrity, position and wealth. For Tillich (and Kahane), power is a universal drive to achieve your objectives and realise yourself as an individual. Love is not merely romantic love but the urge towards community with others.
Those who are familiar with Ken Wilber’s work will recognise these universal urges. Wilber argues that reality is composed of holons, which are simultaneously wholes and parts. As individuals, we are a whole, but we are also part of a community, for example. Wilber argues that all holons have four fundamental capacities: self-preservation (agency), self-adaptation (communion), self-transcendence (eros) and self-dissolution (thanatos). These are some of the twenty tenets that Wilber outlines in Sex, Ecology, Spirituality and A Brief History of Everything.
Power, then, can also be seen as the urge towards agency and self-transcendence. Love is the urge towards communion and self-dissolution (i.e. losing oneself in the whole). If we focus too much on our individual agency when trying to create change, we can come across as arrogant, leave people behind and fail to connect with people where they are. But if we focus too much on communion with the group and not enough on actual achievements, then our work can be ineffectual.
The challenge of balancing power and love, or agency and communion, is very clear for climate change. According to Kahane (p.114):
Climate change epitomizes, in the extreme, everything we know about tough social challenges: how they arise, why we get stuck, and what it takes to get unstuck and to move forward. It demonstrates the extreme fullness of our world and the global interdependence this produces. It exemplifies extreme dynamic, social, and generative complexity: cause and effect interlinked and separated by decades and continents; deeply differing perspectives and priorities among the worldwide actors involved; and a situation that no one has ever faced before. And it provides an extreme answer to the question of what it is that belongs essentially together and that is therefore driven to reunification: all of humanity, plus the ecosystems on which we depend.
Climate change demands that we co-create new low-carbon social realities on a scale and at a speed that is without precedent. It demands that we learn how collectively to exercise 100 percent of our power and 100 percent of our love.
Kahane has some suggestions on processes that can help to balance power and love, particularly the idea of change labs (p.124):
The change lab is a controlled environment within which a group of people experience, become conscious of, and then develop strategies for how to cope with the turbulent and fast-moving dynamics of a modern society. In comparison with the "real world", the change lab aspires to be a space within which it is safe to do things differently, be that shifting power relations or fostering a culture where mistakes are the basis of learning. The fast-changing nature of society today means that in some ways the strategies developed within the change lab are themselves less important than having the environment and the capacities with which to continually develop new strategies in response to the ebb and flow of social challenges.
I like this idea and I’m keen to try it out in my own work. Climate change is an issue of such breadth and complexity that we cannot hope to know in advance what will work well in responding to climate change. As such, we need to create spaces where we can experiment with different responses, both technological and cultural, and come to understand what works. Climate change requires us not only to build new techno-economic systems but to create new socio-cultural systems based on different ways of relating to each other.
Kahane’s book is an easy read and quite short, but packed full of interesting ideas, so I recommend it. Has anyone else read it? What do you think? How successful have you been at balancing power and love in your own life?
See also http://chrisriedy.com/2010/11/power-a....
~ Martin Luther King
Of the many wonderful quotes in Adam Kahane’s book Power and Love: A Theory and Practice of Social Change, the one above by Martin Luther King provides the pithiest summary of Kahane's central thesis. His simple argument, elaborated at length in the book, is that we need both power and love to achieve effective social change when faced with tough challenges. When we let either of these drives dominate, we stagger and stumble. Only when they are in balance can we walk successfully and find resolution to complex social challenges.
Some definitions are needed to give this argument its full force. Power and love are common terms with a heavy weight of cultural meaning, so what does Kahane mean when he uses these terms? He draws his definitions from the work of Paul Tillich. Tillich was a Protestant theologian and philosopher. He defines power and love as follows:
Power is the drive of everything living to realize itself, with increasing intensity and extensity.
Love is the drive towards unity of the separated.
So we are not talking about power in the narrow sense of power delivered through politics, celebrity, position and wealth. For Tillich (and Kahane), power is a universal drive to achieve your objectives and realise yourself as an individual. Love is not merely romantic love but the urge towards community with others.
Those who are familiar with Ken Wilber’s work will recognise these universal urges. Wilber argues that reality is composed of holons, which are simultaneously wholes and parts. As individuals, we are a whole, but we are also part of a community, for example. Wilber argues that all holons have four fundamental capacities: self-preservation (agency), self-adaptation (communion), self-transcendence (eros) and self-dissolution (thanatos). These are some of the twenty tenets that Wilber outlines in Sex, Ecology, Spirituality and A Brief History of Everything.
Power, then, can also be seen as the urge towards agency and self-transcendence. Love is the urge towards communion and self-dissolution (i.e. losing oneself in the whole). If we focus too much on our individual agency when trying to create change, we can come across as arrogant, leave people behind and fail to connect with people where they are. But if we focus too much on communion with the group and not enough on actual achievements, then our work can be ineffectual.
The challenge of balancing power and love, or agency and communion, is very clear for climate change. According to Kahane (p.114):
Climate change epitomizes, in the extreme, everything we know about tough social challenges: how they arise, why we get stuck, and what it takes to get unstuck and to move forward. It demonstrates the extreme fullness of our world and the global interdependence this produces. It exemplifies extreme dynamic, social, and generative complexity: cause and effect interlinked and separated by decades and continents; deeply differing perspectives and priorities among the worldwide actors involved; and a situation that no one has ever faced before. And it provides an extreme answer to the question of what it is that belongs essentially together and that is therefore driven to reunification: all of humanity, plus the ecosystems on which we depend.
Climate change demands that we co-create new low-carbon social realities on a scale and at a speed that is without precedent. It demands that we learn how collectively to exercise 100 percent of our power and 100 percent of our love.
Kahane has some suggestions on processes that can help to balance power and love, particularly the idea of change labs (p.124):
The change lab is a controlled environment within which a group of people experience, become conscious of, and then develop strategies for how to cope with the turbulent and fast-moving dynamics of a modern society. In comparison with the "real world", the change lab aspires to be a space within which it is safe to do things differently, be that shifting power relations or fostering a culture where mistakes are the basis of learning. The fast-changing nature of society today means that in some ways the strategies developed within the change lab are themselves less important than having the environment and the capacities with which to continually develop new strategies in response to the ebb and flow of social challenges.
I like this idea and I’m keen to try it out in my own work. Climate change is an issue of such breadth and complexity that we cannot hope to know in advance what will work well in responding to climate change. As such, we need to create spaces where we can experiment with different responses, both technological and cultural, and come to understand what works. Climate change requires us not only to build new techno-economic systems but to create new socio-cultural systems based on different ways of relating to each other.
Kahane’s book is an easy read and quite short, but packed full of interesting ideas, so I recommend it. Has anyone else read it? What do you think? How successful have you been at balancing power and love in your own life?
See also http://chrisriedy.com/2010/11/power-a....
June 22, 2010
Adam Kahane, Managing Director of Reos Partners, is one of those rare change agents whose remarkable work has touched the lives of people throughout the world.
Kahane tells powerful stories. It’s not because of his delivery (which is understated) but because of his unerring ear for capturing the heart of a situation -- in a quote, a phrase, a memorable anecdote – and using his observations to show us new ways of thinking. He projects a world-weary credibility built through a career of immersion in the world’s most challenging problems — not from the distance of academia, but up close and personal on the front lines of intractable social conflicts.
“The benefit of having done this work for a long time is that I’ve had a lot of trial and a lot of error,” he says. Equally important, however, is that those trials, errors and successes are not lost on Kahane. He is reflective, analytical and innovative – mining his experience for ways to help his clients, colleagues and readers make sense of their own conflicts.
Archetypal Positions At Copenhagen Climate Summit
At a gathering to launch Kahane’s new book, “Power And Love,” the author began his remarks by reflecting on his experience with the gnarly issue of climate-change. Kahane gave his impressions of last year’s Copenhagen Climate Summit, that (for someone whose career is devoted to “big picture” conflict resolution) was “…like being at the Olympics.” He relayed a friend’s comment on the intensity of those climate change negotiations: “It was like being in a class in which each student was deeply interested in the subject and everyone had read all the assigned materials.”
Kahane described how the climate change conflict seemed to organize around the positions of two broadly opposing camps: The “Power” archetype and the “Love” archetype. In the “Power” camp, Kahane included major actors such as the U.S., China, and “Big Oil” — whose interests were driven largely by the imperatives for growth, development, sovereignty and security. (Discourse among this group focused on growth…their growth.) The “Love” camp included the “Greens,” the Danish hosts, a multitude of smaller nations and the complex patchwork of NGOs and grassroots organizations. (Discourse within this faction focused on themes of interconnectedness and planetary health.)
"Shadow Sides" Of Power & Love Archetypes
Where there was conflict, Kahane observed, the archetypal “Power” players tended to view the archetypal “Love” players as unrealistic and irresponsible. For their part, “Love” players saw the “Power” block as often tyrannical and repressive. As Kahane reflected on the negotiations, “which were poised between breakdown and breakthrough,” he saw an extreme example of the dynamics that characterize many other areas of conflict. On the face of it, balancing power and love may seem simple, but this process is made infinitely more complicated by the “shadow sides” of these archetypes. (When power is not tempered by love, it can degenerate into forms that are reckless, mechanical and abusive. When love is not tempered by power, it can degenerate into forms that are sentimental, anemic and without vitality, the author observed.)
“Choosing either power or love is always a mistake,” Kahane said. “It is essential to balance power and love – and one must do this first as an individual before one can do it as a leader." How best to achieve this balance? Through awareness, practice and consciously strengthening the weaker of these two primal capacities. (Kahane told an anecdote about an Alcan corporate executive who was highly regarded for his managerial skills. When asked the secret of his success, the executive replied: “When I’m tempted to be tough, I counsel myself to be compassionate. When I’m tempted to be compassionate, I counsel myself to be tough.”)
The central metaphor of “Power And Love" is “walking” – where power and love constitute the two “legs” necessary to move forward. (Having one really strong leg simply cannot get us where we want to go.) In this construct, people (and organizations) must be comfortable in “a perpetual state of imbalance” moving from one leg to the next. Within this framework exist organizations that have “fallen,” are “stumbling,” or are “walking” – and Kahane’s book offers case histories and stories illustrating each of these states.
“Power And Love,” is a field manual for social change — but don’t expect to find a set of group exercises or tactical plans. Instead, you’ll come away with a new “lens” for viewing conflict – a way of seeing that is easily grasped and applied, but whose subtleties will provide a never-ending source of questions and course-corrections along the way.
"How To Change The World"
Full disclosure: I had the pleasure of having Adam as a client some years ago, when I helped him prepare a major presentation for a FASTCOMPANY conference. You can download the text of that presentation here: How_to_change_the_world. And if you like that speech, you also will appreciate Adam's earlier book: “Solving Tough Problems.” Here’s an illustrative excerpt:
“We get stuck by holding on tightly to our opinions and plans and identities and truths. But when we relax and are present and open up our minds and hearts and wills, we get unstuck and we unstick the world around us. I have learned that the more open I am the more attentive I am to the way things are and could be, around me and inside me; the less attached I am to the way things ought to be the more effective I am in helping to bring forth new realities. And the more I work in this way, the more present and alive I feel. As I have learned to lower my defenses and open myself up, I have become increasingly able to help better futures be born."
PS: The book launch party was held in Harvard Square's emerging "Democracy Center," a former Harvard frat house that promises to be an exciting (and affordable) gathering space for social change organizations, non-profits and other relevant groups. Sponsor's for the event included The Berkana Institute, Pegasus Communications, the Society for Organizational Learning (SoL), and Reos Partners.
October 12, 2015
A compelling call for an integrated approach to social change and daily life.
Adam gives a compelling foray into the two energies needed to lead ourselves and others to a more generative future. Adam draws on his experiences at Shell, Generon and Reos, and his direct work with some of the world's leading change managers to help us discern the essence of power and love within us and around us. This book provides examples of the various forms of power: power to, power over, power within and power with. It also gives a compelling treatment of what it is to love without power.
Power and Love speaks to our human evolution, although Adam doesn't necessarily use that term. It walks us through the degenerative side of modernist consciousness, where power to without love has led to power over and mass exploitation of people and destruction of the world's resources. We also explore the degenerative side of love without power, where despite its good intentions, post-modern consciousness has largely ineffectual at bringing about the morality, fairness, justice and equality we need. Power and Love speaks to an Integral approach to addressing the problems we have created using a previously one-sided approach of power OR love.
If this book falls light anywhere, it is in not providing more explicit guidance on how to bring about the balance between the two energies of Power and Love. And perhaps that is the journey we each must discover for ourselves. I see power and love at the individual level, as the work we each must undertake as part of our evolution to return to a state of wholeness. And power and love at the collective level, as the work to include a widening circle of the earth and its people in our definition of oneness, and thereby take them into our consideration and care.
Adam gives a compelling foray into the two energies needed to lead ourselves and others to a more generative future. Adam draws on his experiences at Shell, Generon and Reos, and his direct work with some of the world's leading change managers to help us discern the essence of power and love within us and around us. This book provides examples of the various forms of power: power to, power over, power within and power with. It also gives a compelling treatment of what it is to love without power.
Power and Love speaks to our human evolution, although Adam doesn't necessarily use that term. It walks us through the degenerative side of modernist consciousness, where power to without love has led to power over and mass exploitation of people and destruction of the world's resources. We also explore the degenerative side of love without power, where despite its good intentions, post-modern consciousness has largely ineffectual at bringing about the morality, fairness, justice and equality we need. Power and Love speaks to an Integral approach to addressing the problems we have created using a previously one-sided approach of power OR love.
If this book falls light anywhere, it is in not providing more explicit guidance on how to bring about the balance between the two energies of Power and Love. And perhaps that is the journey we each must discover for ourselves. I see power and love at the individual level, as the work we each must undertake as part of our evolution to return to a state of wholeness. And power and love at the collective level, as the work to include a widening circle of the earth and its people in our definition of oneness, and thereby take them into our consideration and care.
October 4, 2012
I give this book four stars for its importance in the development of western thinking around social dynamics, more than its literary value.
It is a work of non-fiction, a historical and searching account of Adam Kahane's work as a high profile facilitator of groups seeking to find solutions to significant problems. Adam Kahane has worked on projects at the very grass roots level of social planning to the level of government policy development, and in highly diverse settings.
This is an important book both in defining theory and in offering a way forward in the field of group dynamics that fits more naturally with what really happens, rather than attempting to impose a set recipe for a particular outcome. Adam Kahane's experiences are rich resource material.
The book is not long. It's written quite well, though somewhat repetitive in conveying its central message.
It is a work of non-fiction, a historical and searching account of Adam Kahane's work as a high profile facilitator of groups seeking to find solutions to significant problems. Adam Kahane has worked on projects at the very grass roots level of social planning to the level of government policy development, and in highly diverse settings.
This is an important book both in defining theory and in offering a way forward in the field of group dynamics that fits more naturally with what really happens, rather than attempting to impose a set recipe for a particular outcome. Adam Kahane's experiences are rich resource material.
The book is not long. It's written quite well, though somewhat repetitive in conveying its central message.
February 22, 2010
I like this book's premise: that both power and love are necessary ingredients for successsful social change, particularly in situations characterized by high complexity in terms of cause and effect, relationships, and change dynamics. However, I felt there was too much repetition and too little deepening of this rich topic. It's essentially a story of how Adam Kahane became aware of these dynamics and how he's seen them play out in some of the work that he's been involved in as a facilitator. I had expected a little more here. Good, but could have been much better.
Want to read
December 23, 2011Cité par Michel Venne à l'école d'été de l'INM, décidément je crois que ça vaudra la peine!
May 17, 2011
2 1/2 stars.
I mean, I don't think what he's saying is a bad idea at all; it's great. But I didn't really find the writing to my liking. It's a lot of 'this person did this, this person said that, a quote from a philosopher, love without power is sentimental and anemic!!!' (I cannot tell you how many times he said this last part--"love without power is sentimental and anemic"--I think it must have been at least a dozen.)
Also, I was hoping for more things that normal people could do. He's like, 'oh yeah there were ten of us and we raised millions of dollars.' ?!?! Qu'est-ce que c'est?! By that point I'd hope they already know everything in this book and have a much more rigorous analysis, much more complex ideas and lessons to impart. He gives you a brief rundown of some scenario-planning workshops but doesn't ever really get into any kind of details about how you do it--just that you should, and here are some vague examples of it happening, here's an outline of what it should look like, and, well, go on your merry way. I was much more interested in the psychology behind actually doing it, or people working together. I wrote down some names of other authors he cites that sound like they might be a little more up that alley.
I mean, I don't think what he's saying is a bad idea at all; it's great. But I didn't really find the writing to my liking. It's a lot of 'this person did this, this person said that, a quote from a philosopher, love without power is sentimental and anemic!!!' (I cannot tell you how many times he said this last part--"love without power is sentimental and anemic"--I think it must have been at least a dozen.)
Also, I was hoping for more things that normal people could do. He's like, 'oh yeah there were ten of us and we raised millions of dollars.' ?!?! Qu'est-ce que c'est?! By that point I'd hope they already know everything in this book and have a much more rigorous analysis, much more complex ideas and lessons to impart. He gives you a brief rundown of some scenario-planning workshops but doesn't ever really get into any kind of details about how you do it--just that you should, and here are some vague examples of it happening, here's an outline of what it should look like, and, well, go on your merry way. I was much more interested in the psychology behind actually doing it, or people working together. I wrote down some names of other authors he cites that sound like they might be a little more up that alley.
January 24, 2013
Great book with lots of examples of power and love side by side. I had always struggled in reconciling the corruption of power with my own desire of connectedness. I also love Adam Kahane's honesty at his supposed failures and the insights this has given him.
I was lucky enough to meet Adam at the recent Creative Innovation conference. He gave me a piece of advice I will always treasure "Know your gift & use it. Connectors are needed in this fragmented world"
I was lucky enough to meet Adam at the recent Creative Innovation conference. He gave me a piece of advice I will always treasure "Know your gift & use it. Connectors are needed in this fragmented world"
June 21, 2010
Probably one of the most inspiring and useful books I've ever read, especially paired with his first book, Solving Tough Problems.
May 7, 2012
Lets talk about development by people that balance love and power to do it.
May 21, 2022
This is the second book I've read by Kahane, the first being his most recent book, Facilitating Breakthrough. Kahane often recounts the same experiences and projects he's worked on his books, but with time, experience and constantly "sifting through and trying to make sense of [his]…most confusing and challenging experiences of social change", his perspectives on those events, the conclusions he draws and the insight he offers are quite different. In this respect, reading his works in reverse order is quite an interesting experience.
In Power and Love, Kahane's thesis is that addressing tough challenges requires us not only to connect - with our true selves, to one another, to our context and what it demands of us - but also to grow. In other words, love - which Kahane defines as the intentional disposition to help another person develop to their full potential - is necessary but insufficient. We must exercise power - Kahane defines this as the "ability to achieve purpose" - as well. (In Facilitating Breakthrough, Kahane concludes that there is a third element that must be present - equity.) Kahane argues that without love, power becomes degenerative - it oppresses and exploits. Conversely, without power, love is anemic and impotent; it doesn't allow for real change but reinforces the status quo.
It is not easy to hold the tension between the two. Kahane cites Charles Hampden-Turner:
" What makes contrasting values seem so oppositional is that both are presented to us at one moment in time. In reality, time is used to mediate these contrasts. I see learning to employ both power and love to be like learning to walk on two legs. We can't walk on only one leg, just as we can't address our toughest social challenges only with power or only with love. But walking on two legs does not mean either moving them both at the same time or always being stably balanced. On the contrary, it means moving first one leg and then the other and always being out of balance - or more precisely, always being in dynamic balance."
So what does it mean to hold the tension between the two effectively, to move fluidly between the two? When one element dominates, Kahane notes, we will stumble and we should then "build up or bring in our weaker drive". For instance, when our power is dominating, we might need to "emphasise processes for social homogenisation and integration… [like] dialogic processes such as meetings or encounters or workshops to bring together and connect separated actors and help them see their shared situation more empathetically and holistically". Conversely, when our love dominates, we should emphasise processes "for social differentiation and individuation".
Kahane argues that we can only address complex challenges by moving fluidly between power and love. When we move from power to love, actors are able to see more clearly the system they are part of, their role in it and how they can be part of the solution. Kahane quotes Boston College professor Bill Tolbert saying that the old quip "If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem" was less useful than the alternative formulation: "If you're not part of the problem, you can't be part of the solution". Moving from love to power helps support actors to undertake individual and collective actions, to shift from "someone should" to "I will".
It might be tempting to just read Kahane's latest book with his most "complete" theory. But sitting out entire legs of Kahane's journey - to see how he unpacks and makes sense of his experiences - would diminish the learning experience significantly.
Some thought provoking snippets:
- Indian businessman Arun Maira who pioneered multi-stakeholder dialogue processes in India: "most of the time, when a group of stakeholder leaders enter a dialogue, every one of them believes that if only the other ones would change what they are thinking and doing, then the problem would be solved. But it is not possible that it is all the fault of others! The real innovation here is that we are inviting stakeholder leaders to reflect on how they might need to change what they themselves are thinking and doing"
- Israeli psychologist Shlomo Brenitz: "In order to maintain hope…we need to believe that the future can be better than the present and to see milestones of progress. But whereas the milestones of independence or democracy are clear, progress on complex challenges such as poverty or reconciliation comes only slowly and with many ups and downs. This makes it hard to maintain hope and forward movement"
- Angela Wilkinson of the University of Oxford: "Social innovation arises not only from new ideas…but from new networks of relationships"
In Power and Love, Kahane's thesis is that addressing tough challenges requires us not only to connect - with our true selves, to one another, to our context and what it demands of us - but also to grow. In other words, love - which Kahane defines as the intentional disposition to help another person develop to their full potential - is necessary but insufficient. We must exercise power - Kahane defines this as the "ability to achieve purpose" - as well. (In Facilitating Breakthrough, Kahane concludes that there is a third element that must be present - equity.) Kahane argues that without love, power becomes degenerative - it oppresses and exploits. Conversely, without power, love is anemic and impotent; it doesn't allow for real change but reinforces the status quo.
It is not easy to hold the tension between the two. Kahane cites Charles Hampden-Turner:
" What makes contrasting values seem so oppositional is that both are presented to us at one moment in time. In reality, time is used to mediate these contrasts. I see learning to employ both power and love to be like learning to walk on two legs. We can't walk on only one leg, just as we can't address our toughest social challenges only with power or only with love. But walking on two legs does not mean either moving them both at the same time or always being stably balanced. On the contrary, it means moving first one leg and then the other and always being out of balance - or more precisely, always being in dynamic balance."
So what does it mean to hold the tension between the two effectively, to move fluidly between the two? When one element dominates, Kahane notes, we will stumble and we should then "build up or bring in our weaker drive". For instance, when our power is dominating, we might need to "emphasise processes for social homogenisation and integration… [like] dialogic processes such as meetings or encounters or workshops to bring together and connect separated actors and help them see their shared situation more empathetically and holistically". Conversely, when our love dominates, we should emphasise processes "for social differentiation and individuation".
Kahane argues that we can only address complex challenges by moving fluidly between power and love. When we move from power to love, actors are able to see more clearly the system they are part of, their role in it and how they can be part of the solution. Kahane quotes Boston College professor Bill Tolbert saying that the old quip "If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem" was less useful than the alternative formulation: "If you're not part of the problem, you can't be part of the solution". Moving from love to power helps support actors to undertake individual and collective actions, to shift from "someone should" to "I will".
It might be tempting to just read Kahane's latest book with his most "complete" theory. But sitting out entire legs of Kahane's journey - to see how he unpacks and makes sense of his experiences - would diminish the learning experience significantly.
Some thought provoking snippets:
- Indian businessman Arun Maira who pioneered multi-stakeholder dialogue processes in India: "most of the time, when a group of stakeholder leaders enter a dialogue, every one of them believes that if only the other ones would change what they are thinking and doing, then the problem would be solved. But it is not possible that it is all the fault of others! The real innovation here is that we are inviting stakeholder leaders to reflect on how they might need to change what they themselves are thinking and doing"
- Israeli psychologist Shlomo Brenitz: "In order to maintain hope…we need to believe that the future can be better than the present and to see milestones of progress. But whereas the milestones of independence or democracy are clear, progress on complex challenges such as poverty or reconciliation comes only slowly and with many ups and downs. This makes it hard to maintain hope and forward movement"
- Angela Wilkinson of the University of Oxford: "Social innovation arises not only from new ideas…but from new networks of relationships"
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 15, 2017
This book gave me a lot of ideas about how to think about power in my work. I'm aware of it, I talk about it, and I understand that working with the dynamics of power are essential for social change work. But I'm somewhat more comfortable thinking and talking love, and hadn't thought about the relationship between power and love in this particular way. I also thought he offered useful definitions for the concept(s) of complexity.
June 15, 2020
Wasn't super groundbreaking but spoke about looking at the system as a whole when facing complex challenges, and balancing out power and love in our work to balance the recklessness and suppression of only power and the submissive and over-sentimentality of only love. He spoke about interdependence being necessary in fighting the world's major issues, which is my view as well. Sometime where there is no clear roadmap, we just have to try our best collectively, start walking, and keep moving.
August 24, 2021
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It gives a case for the need for both generative power to take action to make change and the love that is required to make effective change possible. Kahane uses examples from his transformative justice work in India, South Africa, and Israel to demonstrate his points.
November 13, 2017
Very energizing and important message, but there were too many long and not too insightful examples from the author’s carrier that mostly felt like “hey, I talked to world leaders about climate change, my ideas must be true”.
January 17, 2020
A welcome perspective on power. Adding in love makes it that much more useful. A bit repetitive, but not to the extent that it dilutes the clear observations of the theory and practice if power/love.
January 12, 2026
Definitely gives me food for thought looking at everything through the lens of self-actualization vs pursuit of harmony. Very theoretical, but then again it never promised to be a handbook. One major point is that tough problems often require new and creative solutions.
September 23, 2017
I’m giving it five stars because the simple construct of love and power is such a potent mental model, and I love how Kahane’s casual, transparent storytelling style brings it to life so vividly.
January 20, 2018
Great book - love Kahane's succinct writing style. Really enjoyed this!!!
February 3, 2010
Love it. Insightful use of the power/love polarity in effecting change among people. Power is defined as the "drive toward self-realization", and love as the "drive toward unity" (or differentiation/homogenization).
The author draws on his long experience on social change, and particularly on his failures.
The author draws on his long experience on social change, and particularly on his failures.
February 3, 2010
Insightful view of attempts at social change using the lens of the power-love polarity. Power here is defined as the "drive toward self-realization", and love as the "drive toward unity".
The author draws on his long time experience of facilitating workshops, and has a thing for learning from his failures. Carries the wisdom of its simple writing.
The author draws on his long time experience of facilitating workshops, and has a thing for learning from his failures. Carries the wisdom of its simple writing.
June 19, 2010
A fascinating foray into the world of social change negotiations and the role both these ideas play, unfortunately too often in opposition to each other, but as explained by Kahane, to be effective, in balance with each other. Gave me a new paradigm not only for viewing worldly happenings but to analyze my own relationships and life context.
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April 28, 2023The concept is such a necessary one and there are a few gems in the book for reflection and deep consideration. But the methodology of the book is a lot of case studies steeped in international consulting dynamics. 99% of this book is story telling, but stories that don’t necessarily land and aren’t applicable to most people. The 1% that shares powerful concepts and guidance is really valuable.
May 11, 2011
An interesting tool for understanding how to balance relationships in the process of engagement. Useful insights from a experienced hand in capacity building for organizations and NGOs.
January 13, 2013
Another brilliant work that helps us think holistically about community development work. Pastors and Non Profit workers alike should work through this piece closely.
June 4, 2016
Beautiful overview of the need to accept the drives of power and love - and about learning to recognise and harness them for good.
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February 2, 2014303.484 K121 2010
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