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You Need This Book to Get What You Want
Imagine how much easier your life could be if you could get people on your side instantly. If you had the skills of effortless persuasion that produced the results you wanted and needed, when you needed them. Like a How to Win Friends and Influence People for the 21st century, You Need This Book is a powerful recipe for getting what you want in life, from a better job to how to get served quickly at a busy restaurant. Trained by Paul McKenna, Mark Palmer and Scott Solder are experts in interpersonal dynamics. Until now, their elite techniques have been available only to high-paying clients, who have seen fantastic results in performance after attending their 'You Need This' seminars. Bringing their infectious personalities and clear, accessible style to a wider audience, Palmer and Solder impart their in-depth knowledge of how to influence people - in business and in personal life - with humour and a very British voice. From getting rid of 'toxic autopilots', to learning how to read people's moods, the book is an invaluable tool for anyone who wants to get on in life and get the job, relationship and happiness they deserve.
288 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2010
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100 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
March 28, 2013
At first it may seem like it's all about getting what you want. Well it is, but not in a bad way. This book starts off by correcting your mindset to think about what you want rather than don't wan't (eg. want to be slim rather than don't want to be fat) and making sure what you want is really what you want. Then they establish a few rules, among them is to never assume that your rules apply to others, or autopilots; things that happen unconsciously.
The book doesn't exactly teach you to be an asshole either. You can be nice, or not, depending on context and the situation given. Some confidence definitely helps here. And since it teaches you persuasion skills, it also makes you aware of people using persuasion skills on you, so you be a bit more careful on being influenced by persuasion, giving you more options on how to react.
So yeah, kinda useful stuff. A recommended read. Just use your skills for good purpose.
The book doesn't exactly teach you to be an asshole either. You can be nice, or not, depending on context and the situation given. Some confidence definitely helps here. And since it teaches you persuasion skills, it also makes you aware of people using persuasion skills on you, so you be a bit more careful on being influenced by persuasion, giving you more options on how to react.
So yeah, kinda useful stuff. A recommended read. Just use your skills for good purpose.
May 18, 2014
For a book that is almost universally panned by reviewers, you would think it would be a poorly done book. In fact, the book is written super-simply, packaged beautifully to intrigue, and well-organized.
You know the real reason the book is perhaps disliked? Because it talks about using persuasion solely as a way to get what you want, not as a way to create a win-win solution for the other party. Had the book gone to the farther extreme of pretending to actually BE sociopathic, perhaps it might have been reviewed more and better on shock value. But I doubt it.
And the book has an unpleasant commanding tone in it also. A glance at the inside cover author photo shows two handsome young men, one warm and friendly, one icy-cold and manipulative: the whole book contained in an image!
So... another book on the unknown art of rhetoric: let's see how it rates against Aristotle's Rhetoric, shall we? :-)
After three chapters of the usual nonsense, chapter four suggest we define "adaptability" as moral relativism and violating our own principles. Interesting rhetoric, but morally dubious.
Chapter six: know what you want, not what you do not want. Yawn.
Chapter seven has a rather fascinating exercise in pretending you are in your opponent's head: empathy for Machiavellians.
The core of the book is the half dozen chapters on specific persuasion techniques.
The first technique is to click with someone. I like the simple breakdown of rapport-building to "use your peripheral to note and copy one aspect of face, body and legs of your target". Simply put. It has an interesting exercise in what the NLP folk call "calibration" of mood and rapport with another. this chapter (9) is excellent.
The second technique is "make it hard to say no".This involves a number of salesman word-games to hypnotically command a person to respond. Manipulative or supportive of your goal? This is remarkable for the various manipulations, and perhaps a valuable innoculation of the unwary.
The third technique, "I'm a celebrity", is to act like a big shot. Perhaps the authors have been transported from the 1980s to today and not realized that much of the world now runs on win-win...
The fourth technique "Human or inhuman" means being personal and authentic or being formal, bureaucratic and rational. It suggests being the opposite to your opponent, for no apparent reason.
The fifth technique is "Give them SOME credit". It becomes clear in this chapter that this book was most likely dictated rather than written, because of the word play in a British intonation. The technique is to disarm bossy dominant people by giving them a little credit only in some area not important to you. In other words, manipulate.
The sixth final technique, perhaps the most heartless, is titled "Break connection." This suggests that breaking rapport will increase compliance while the unsuspecting person tries in vain to re-connect with you, supposing you to be sincere when in fact you are false.
Perhaps this book is good for dealing with criminal gangs and terrorists, but how it can be anything other than a sophisticated calling card for promoting the authors' business is beyond me.
The simple writing infers to me it was probably a spoken-word book rather than written, and it reads like a transcript of a bunch of caffeine-fueled rap sessions.
Sad to say, I think it deserves its popular opprobrium. The chapter on rapport is excellent; the chapter on psychologically speaking is a bit scary, and the entire is beautifully marketed: kudos to Simon and Schuster for their team's production values.
EDIT: I felt a bit guilty after reviewing this book. Should we post critical reviews like this that may harm the repute of the person who wrote the book. I should hope the book itself did the harm, however, and that my review might be taken as rebuke instead of just vicious criticism.
Because a reading of Aristotle's "Rhetoric", and perhaps also Machiavelli's humane and realistic "The Prince" are the correctives for all the errors caused by bad Machiavellians such as the authors of this book.
You know the real reason the book is perhaps disliked? Because it talks about using persuasion solely as a way to get what you want, not as a way to create a win-win solution for the other party. Had the book gone to the farther extreme of pretending to actually BE sociopathic, perhaps it might have been reviewed more and better on shock value. But I doubt it.
And the book has an unpleasant commanding tone in it also. A glance at the inside cover author photo shows two handsome young men, one warm and friendly, one icy-cold and manipulative: the whole book contained in an image!
So... another book on the unknown art of rhetoric: let's see how it rates against Aristotle's Rhetoric, shall we? :-)
After three chapters of the usual nonsense, chapter four suggest we define "adaptability" as moral relativism and violating our own principles. Interesting rhetoric, but morally dubious.
Chapter six: know what you want, not what you do not want. Yawn.
Chapter seven has a rather fascinating exercise in pretending you are in your opponent's head: empathy for Machiavellians.
The core of the book is the half dozen chapters on specific persuasion techniques.
The first technique is to click with someone. I like the simple breakdown of rapport-building to "use your peripheral to note and copy one aspect of face, body and legs of your target". Simply put. It has an interesting exercise in what the NLP folk call "calibration" of mood and rapport with another. this chapter (9) is excellent.
The second technique is "make it hard to say no".This involves a number of salesman word-games to hypnotically command a person to respond. Manipulative or supportive of your goal? This is remarkable for the various manipulations, and perhaps a valuable innoculation of the unwary.
The third technique, "I'm a celebrity", is to act like a big shot. Perhaps the authors have been transported from the 1980s to today and not realized that much of the world now runs on win-win...
The fourth technique "Human or inhuman" means being personal and authentic or being formal, bureaucratic and rational. It suggests being the opposite to your opponent, for no apparent reason.
The fifth technique is "Give them SOME credit". It becomes clear in this chapter that this book was most likely dictated rather than written, because of the word play in a British intonation. The technique is to disarm bossy dominant people by giving them a little credit only in some area not important to you. In other words, manipulate.
The sixth final technique, perhaps the most heartless, is titled "Break connection." This suggests that breaking rapport will increase compliance while the unsuspecting person tries in vain to re-connect with you, supposing you to be sincere when in fact you are false.
Perhaps this book is good for dealing with criminal gangs and terrorists, but how it can be anything other than a sophisticated calling card for promoting the authors' business is beyond me.
The simple writing infers to me it was probably a spoken-word book rather than written, and it reads like a transcript of a bunch of caffeine-fueled rap sessions.
Sad to say, I think it deserves its popular opprobrium. The chapter on rapport is excellent; the chapter on psychologically speaking is a bit scary, and the entire is beautifully marketed: kudos to Simon and Schuster for their team's production values.
EDIT: I felt a bit guilty after reviewing this book. Should we post critical reviews like this that may harm the repute of the person who wrote the book. I should hope the book itself did the harm, however, and that my review might be taken as rebuke instead of just vicious criticism.
Because a reading of Aristotle's "Rhetoric", and perhaps also Machiavelli's humane and realistic "The Prince" are the correctives for all the errors caused by bad Machiavellians such as the authors of this book.
January 25, 2012
This book is the most cynical I have ever read.
I’ve been feeling disconnected from people for a while - don’t know why. Just can’t seem to make mutually pleasing and enjoyable relationships at the moment. So, I did what all self respecting readers of books do (other than buying on Amazon). I went to the library and headed to the self-improvement section. That’s where I found this book. I thought even its title sounded selfish, but I had also picked up a book at the opposite end of the spectrum with words like heart and golden on its front cover, so I decided to check it out as a counter-balance. My first instinct was right. This book should really be titled ‘You Need This Book Like A Hole In The Head’.
The first few chapters cover concepts that most of us are familiar with nowadays, like affirmations and visualization. It discusses our subconscious, or unconscious, part that actually is the driving force behind our thinking. Then it gives some sound advice such as being aware that other people beat to a different drum, and that fact must be recognized. It also points out that it is far more productive to think constantly about what you do want, rather than what you don’t want, which is what most of us fall into the habit of doing. And there is a wise tip about projecting your thoughts forward if you are going through a rough patch to a time when the present troubles will not longer be important. Good stuff, so far. But then, like an unpleasant person who has been on their best behavior in a new relationship until they’re sure they’ve hooked the other party, the tone changes around Chapter 9. This is where the authors put forward their first of six persuasion techniques. They cover methods such as reading body language; winning compliance from people by using phrases that make it hard for them to say no; coming across as though you’re in charge, or special, so that people will defer to you (the authors call this the ‘I’m a celebrity’ technique, shudder); using a humane approach to get people on board with you, or, if that doesn’t work, switch to being inhuman, which entails coming down on them like a ton of bricks. Get the picture? If you DO want to get your own way by thinking entirely of yourself and seeing other people as just tools to help you do that, then maybe this book could work for you. I tell you what though; you’ll get exhausted. These techniques involve planning and scheming every minute that you’re around people whom you want to influence. You’re welcome to that. Me, I’m picking up the second book I got which sounds lovely e.g. how to develop secure relationships built on trust; to listen and communicate; how to create relationships built on a rich, generous and inclusive idea of love. If you’re interested, I’ll write a review on that in a few weeks. In the meantime, this book is going back to the library al pronto.
I’ve been feeling disconnected from people for a while - don’t know why. Just can’t seem to make mutually pleasing and enjoyable relationships at the moment. So, I did what all self respecting readers of books do (other than buying on Amazon). I went to the library and headed to the self-improvement section. That’s where I found this book. I thought even its title sounded selfish, but I had also picked up a book at the opposite end of the spectrum with words like heart and golden on its front cover, so I decided to check it out as a counter-balance. My first instinct was right. This book should really be titled ‘You Need This Book Like A Hole In The Head’.
The first few chapters cover concepts that most of us are familiar with nowadays, like affirmations and visualization. It discusses our subconscious, or unconscious, part that actually is the driving force behind our thinking. Then it gives some sound advice such as being aware that other people beat to a different drum, and that fact must be recognized. It also points out that it is far more productive to think constantly about what you do want, rather than what you don’t want, which is what most of us fall into the habit of doing. And there is a wise tip about projecting your thoughts forward if you are going through a rough patch to a time when the present troubles will not longer be important. Good stuff, so far. But then, like an unpleasant person who has been on their best behavior in a new relationship until they’re sure they’ve hooked the other party, the tone changes around Chapter 9. This is where the authors put forward their first of six persuasion techniques. They cover methods such as reading body language; winning compliance from people by using phrases that make it hard for them to say no; coming across as though you’re in charge, or special, so that people will defer to you (the authors call this the ‘I’m a celebrity’ technique, shudder); using a humane approach to get people on board with you, or, if that doesn’t work, switch to being inhuman, which entails coming down on them like a ton of bricks. Get the picture? If you DO want to get your own way by thinking entirely of yourself and seeing other people as just tools to help you do that, then maybe this book could work for you. I tell you what though; you’ll get exhausted. These techniques involve planning and scheming every minute that you’re around people whom you want to influence. You’re welcome to that. Me, I’m picking up the second book I got which sounds lovely e.g. how to develop secure relationships built on trust; to listen and communicate; how to create relationships built on a rich, generous and inclusive idea of love. If you’re interested, I’ll write a review on that in a few weeks. In the meantime, this book is going back to the library al pronto.
July 11, 2017
Badly written, unstructured and rambling. In amongst the stories of Polish girls and friends who've made terrible mistakes, I'd say the book is nothing more than a "dummies guide to manipulating others, for short term gain and long term pain". I can't assess the intelligence of the authors or how well their methods work, but their wisdom on life and others is seriously lacking!
August 22, 2020
This is the only book you should judge by its cover. A must-read!
Very helpful, straight to the point techniques to help you get what you want! Definitely rereading it.
Very helpful, straight to the point techniques to help you get what you want! Definitely rereading it.
July 28, 2023
Too much preachy, boring. I could hardly read 51 pages.
April 22, 2010
Bordering the manipulation, nevertheless hits several interesting self awareness spots, specially about our internal dialogue that shapes your behaviour unconsciously.
August 21, 2011
Some interesting concepts.
However, most of the ideas brought forward in this book is a bit useless.
Read this book like a textbook (only the chapters that you are interested in)
However, most of the ideas brought forward in this book is a bit useless.
Read this book like a textbook (only the chapters that you are interested in)
Want to read
December 15, 2012*for daughter
July 12, 2013
Written by a pair of half-wit bovver boys, this book is a tragedy.
October 10, 2016
You are the message.
June 3, 2016
Simple but very practical advice on how to get what you want... Defenitely worth a read
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews