Principles of Non-Euclidean Romance

by Ela Bambust

Sammaël, Accuser, Destroyer, an eldritch entity older than space and time itself, roams the universe, looking for a way to alleviate its boredom.

When down on earth, Abe Douglas dies alone, drunk and angry in an alleyway, Sammaël seizes the opportunity and takes his body, unaware of the strange and impossible journey it is about to undertake.

Principles of Non-Euclidean Romance is a Queer Science Fiction story told in 10 dimensions, unlike anything you've seen, read, or experienced before, going forward or backwards.

Genres: Romance, Queer, Fantasy, Novella, Adult

134 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 10, 2022

Reviews

[Skye Kilaen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic mix of wild events with very real emotions and time-loop-y sci-fi goodness. Ela is a trans author with so many books that I wasn’t sure where to jump into her catalog, yet it turned out I found the perfect one for me. Trans MC on a journey of self-knowledge with a sapphic romance subplot. I cannot praise this book highly enough.

[Heidi Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Where do I start? This book is incredible. It's a very short, very fun read reminiscent of Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy. The characters are charming and fun, and the author has done a great job trying to conceptualize things that would drive most people mad in a way that is approachable and funny. I laughed out loud at points and giggled at some of the sillier bits. I don't want to say much without spoiling more.

Spoilers below

This is a story about what happens when an eldritch horror tries to figure out what it means to be human, realizes she's trans falls in love, and breaks time to save the woman she loves. The depictions of dysphoria and the slowly dawning horror every time Sam woke up again resonated so strongly as a trans woman. The way that Sam and Sierra fall for one another is so perfect and cute that it puts into question the least believable piece of this story. Which is how a woman like Sierra: kind, compassionate, open-minded, understanding, could fall in love with, and almost marry a guy like Abe.

And to top it off, this book seems to have been written for me specifically because the fact that all of this includes a time loop? It's perfect and amazing and wonderful!

[Helen Whistberry · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this novella a surprisingly moving meditation on identity and what gives meaning to being alive. Sammaël is an eldritch entity that has roamed the universe throughout time and come to find it all a bit blah. After being attracted to Earth by a catchy song, it decides to experience life as a human in order to seek out other music primarily, but gets more than it bargained for. Bit of a Groundhog Day vibe as its first attempts to take over a dead human's body go spectacularly awry (in increasingly horrific ways) sending it back to the beginning of its adventure. I enjoyed the metaphysical goings-on that were explained in an approachable manner as well as the sweet relationship that develops with the first human Sam forms a bond with. Lovely and sensitive exploration of gender identity and smart mix of humor and fantasy makes for a very intriguing and worthwhile read.

[X · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very fun!

[Siavahda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sweet and very funny (I loved the footnotes!) but I'm not in love with time-loop stories and wish I'd known it was one before I went in.

[Jeff · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a fun and cute read! Cute is not normally the term I'd use for a book involving eldritch beings from the void between the stars, but...in this case it fits. It's a meet-cute of cosmic proportions. Although the genre of eldritch horror romance is a bit overdone at this point (that's a joke...), Ela brings to it charm and wit, with the stylings of Douglas Adams (with a direct tongue-in-cheek reference to the Hitchhiker's Guide at the beginning) or Terry Pratchett (with his liberal use of footnotes sprinkled throughout to add some local colour).

Speaking of Pratchett, not long ago I read Reaper Man, and my mind made the connection with it while reading this book. The figure of Death (i.e., the Grim Reaper) in the Discworld series is a personification of a concept, a powerful being who exists outside time, and who initially struggles to understand humanity. In Reaper Man, Death ends up spending some time as a mortal being, and begins to learn about the meaning and value that life has when one's life is fleeting. I think Principles of Non-Euclidean Romance strikes many of the same notes, with the main character coming to understand the world in which humanity lives, including all the messy things that make humans human, like gender, relationships, and the meaningful things that make life worth living, like music, love, and chocolate. (Let's be honest, it's 90% chocolate.)

So for anyone who likes the wit and charm of Pratchett or Adams, or who likes queer-focused narratives, or who just finds the idea of mashing together eldritch beings and romance amusing--I think this book is well worth the read.

[Charlotte Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Overall: A good introduction to eldritch topics (without horror) with a very satisfying end

The main character's multiple points of view throughout the book are very smartly placed and show the gradual construction of the character, the character development is stunning, especially for a book of this size.

I would recommend it to anyone, regardless of their sensibilities with the topics (apart from those with high negativity/traumas toward eldritch novels).

[Holly Blue · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very fun, very visceral, with a lot of heart. And gender.

[Luna · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s a very sweet book, funny with a lot of heart, and it has a lot to say about the human condition. That said, I do wish it was longer

[Sam · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sammaël, an eldritch entity, the only one of its kind, has been travelling the universe forever, when its path is interrupted by a strange new sound. Interest piqued, it decides to investigate this thing called music and finds itself hovering over a blue planet, which it might have devoured whole during any other time. When an opportunity for a fresh, recently emptied vessel presents itself when Abe falls and dies in an alley, it takes the chance. At first, most of its attention is focused on the more immediate sensation of concussion, but soon other experiences crowd in, such as the fact that something feels deeply wrong with the body she has taken, the name that is being used and the pronouns applied to her. To be able to enjoy music however, she has to convince Sierra, Abe’s ex, that she is not Abe, the man who died in the alley, without driving her insane through cosmic knowledge. And if all that wasn’t enough to deal with for an eldritch entity’s first foray into human interaction, she finds herself dying over and over and over again.
Sam is a fascinating character (and not just because we have the same name, but I always find that funny too) and her learning about humanity, trans identity and how to experience happiness was a joy to read. Sierra too, was incredibly interesting and I liked that her reactions weren’t always positive, but that she was supportive when it really counted and that once she had gained the knowledge that Sam was not Abe, she really got to shine as a kind and compassionate woman. It was also fascinating to read how their relationship changed and shifted during the various time loops. (Slight spoilers) I also really loved that at some point during it all Sierra gained knowledge of the time loops, allowing their relationship to grow despite the gruesome deaths.
I enjoyed the way space and time very depicted in a very fun and approachable way and the story mentions Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy to set reader expectations and then manages to fulfill them very well. This story takes cosmic horror and manages to tell a very touching and sweet romance through it. Because even the cosmic horrors sometimes want to experience new things.

TW: deadnaming, death (both accidental and through murder), past domestic abuse (emotional, financial – minor aspect of the book), dysphoria

[Damiensbookcorner · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book book is so much fun! The little comments the author added made me giggle all througout this book !!!