Inverse Cowgirl

by Alicia Roth Weigel, Jonathan Van Ness (Foreword)

From a celebrated activist on the forefront of fighting for intersex representation and rights—and a subject of the forthcoming documentary Every Body, from the filmmakers behind RBG—a funny, thought-provoking collection of essays about owning your identity and living your truth.

Two percent of the world’s population—the same percentage of humans who have naturally red hair—is born intersex. Yet many people aren’t even familiar with the word. Intersex individuals are born with both male and female reproductive organs, yet many are stripped of their identity at birth when a parent designates M or F on a birth certificate. That subjective choice is often followed by invasive, life-changing surgeries, performed without the individual’s consent. Intersex people have become a target of politicians, attacked for who they are and threatened by legislation that attempts to categorize and define them.

Alicia Weigel is fighting back against the hate and fearmongering to protect the rights and lives of everyone. As an activist and the Human Rights Commissioner for the City of Austin, Alicia has championed legislation to reduce sexual assault and human trafficking, mandate paid sick leave and abortion funding, decriminalize and alleviate homelessness, and target other social determinants of health. In this book, Alicia boldly speaks out about working as a change agent in a state that actively attempts to pass legislation that would erase her existence, explores how we can reclaim bodily autonomy, and encourages us to amplify our voices to be heard. Disarming, funny, charming, and powerful, this is a vital account of personal accomplishment that will open eyes and change minds.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Queer, LGBT, Audiobook, Biography Memoir, Intersex

227 pages, Paperback

First published September 19, 2023

Reviews

[Sunny Lu · Rating 3 out of 5]

Study abroad Ivy League white girl turned electoral politics social media activist memoir! Enjoyed all the discussion of intersex identity

[Liralen · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's a season for memoirs about growing up intersex: I read Nobody Needs to Know by Pidgeon Pagonis (mentioned in Inverse Cowgirl, because the intersex advocacy world is small) earlier this year, and with Weigel adding her voice to the mix, I hope this heralds an era in which intersex people feel that they can talk more freely about their experiences.

This is likely one where how much you enjoy the book will depend largely on how well you connect with the authorial voice. Words that come to mind: punchy, chatty, rapid-fire, manifesto, y'all. (Tattoos.) Weigel comes in swinging and never really stops—she's quick to call out structures (and individuals within those structures) doing, and perpetuating, damage to her community, and as quick to call out her own privileges and shortcomings and learning experiences. Formally, this is a memoir in essays (with a common theme of the experiences that led Weigel to her tattoos), but I'd posit that a lot of context would be lost if you tried to read any of the essays solo.

Two things that I really would have liked from this book: first, Weigel focuses heavily on her advocacy and political work, especially later in the book, and as a reader that's something that I've never been very interested in. No criticism of the work itself, obviously, just that it tends to read to me as "and then I did this thing and then I met that amazing person" (perhaps reflective of the exhausting nature of campaigns and advocacy work). I would have been interested to see her talk more about things like HRT—a necessity when your reproductive organs have been removed, but a necessity with consequences, such as loss of bone density and spending your life on medication that insurance might well not pay for. I'd have loved to read more about knowing she had a "condition" but not knowing the word "intersex" until she was in her twenties(!!), and knowing that she had other family members who were intersex. In the latter case, I doubt she could have gone far while maintaining privacy, and I respect that, but my gosh that would be a fascinating line of inquiry.

The second thing I really would have loved is a direct exploration of the intersections between sex and gender, and what it means to Weigel to be intersex and also to firmly apply the label of "woman". Weigel touches on this a little, but it sounds like she (luckily) never had to question her gender identity, which might have been interesting to discuss. This might be an area in which I'd like to see more science—I really don't have a sense of how often assigned gender (or assigned sex!) feels true to someone whose body, as Pagonis puts it in Nobody Needs to Know, "chose intersex" rather than "boy" or "girl". And perhaps the science simply isn't there—Weigel notes, after all, that there's a dearth of knowledge on how intersex bodies develop in the absence of, e.g., nonconsensual childhood surgeries, but as far as I can tell there's just a dearth of knowledge on the personal experiences of intersex people in general, because it's a topic that's so long been taboo. (Ooh, can someone please curate a book of essays by intersex folks with varying experiences and from varying generations and locations?)

Overall, an interesting look at an experience that isn't talked about enough, and hopefully one of many voices sharing stories about this in the next years.

Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.

[Madeline · Rating 3 out of 5]

*2.5/5

Gay book club will be hearing about this.

I really enjoyed the author’s discussion about her intersex journey. And all the information about intersex individuals.

I did not enjoy how much this book felt like I was reading someone’s cover letter / resume. There were paragraphs where it would just be her listing jobs that she had or things she did. Also, so many parts felt very pretentious which is just not my vibe.

Solid 50%

[Haylee Perry · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is not good (change my mind.)
Some of my biggest complaints are more about the writing style than the content. Alicia writes like a 6th grader. She uses in-text citations and cannot seem to connect ideas just like my own students. She also used way too much “exact” dialogue for a memoir. I prefer memoirs to be summaries of conversations, not the author pretending to remember exactly what was said. Besides the poor writing, I also really just couldn’t stand reading all about every place she lived, every job she worked, every celebrity she slept with, etc. I skimmed a lot of this book, especially the ending, because so much of it seemed useless. I am giving it two stars just because I learned a little bit more about what it means to be intersex than what I knew before.

[TL *Humaning the Best She Can* · Rating 4 out of 5]

Libby app, Overdrive was better
-----

Powerful, important, moving, occasionally uncomfortable (some political stuff), and moments you wish you had powers like Captain Marvel.

Was impressed with and really admire this interesting lady. I definitely would want her on my team (and she's also neurodivergent!). She's tough, stubborn, persistent, flawed like we all are, eloquent, and a force.

This is a book that everyone should definitely read 📚 (and put into every library and little free library).

I have many big feelings about this book I can't express how I want to (alexithymia (sp?) but would highly recommend this, especially if it's out of your comfort zone. Learn some things :)

There needs to be more kindness, understanding, and empathy/compassion... so much hate and darkness in the world right now... especially with the orange one.
Reaching more people and making things better for everyone who doesn't fit the "normal" definition would make it a better world for all humans.

Disappointed in my country but trying my best to hold on to hope (some days are slightly easier than others).

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fantastic, deeply personal and honest memoir about what it's like to live as an intersex individual. I confess I did not realize nearly enough about the unique challenges intersex people are faced with daily.

From birth they are often forced into one gender or another without consent and have to spend the rest of their lives dealing (and paying) with/for the consequences.

Alicia's story is uniquely hers and was an eye-opening, must-read sort of memoir that I really enjoyed listening to as an audiobook.

Highly recommended especially for fans of books like Pageboy or One sunny afternoon (two of my other fav memoirs this year and while those books are about trans lives, there are some similarities).

⚠️CW: rape, drug use/abuse, forced sterilization

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

There was a lot I liked here, and Alicia seems like a generally kickass person and activist. But this memoir did feel a bit unfinished. She alluded to childhood abuse but didn't go there. She alluded to difficulties with her identity/activism with family but didn't go there. She alluded to dating problems but didn't go there. While the work she has done was impressive and fascinating, I felt like maybe she should have waited a few more years to write a memoir because this one feels a little underdone. That said, her perspective is fascinating, sharp, and I enjoyed the ride.

[Heather Marie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I overall thought this was a decent memoir. Again, with any author experience, it's hard to judge their life, but I felt Alicia really did a good job of explaining the experience of being intersex, something I am not really familiar with at all. I listened on audiobook, and felt, as she read it herself, that she had a good voice for it, and it was easy to get through. And the ways in which she describes the struggles/experiences she's had dealing with politics/healthcare system was almost relatable at times, and really eye opening in how campaigning particularly is.

So, even though I'm not much into memoirs, I felt this one was solid, and I did enjoy the cheesy finishing lines.

[Andrew Eder · Rating 3 out of 5]

Started a new job while reading this…both were very messy and unorganized. But I didn’t hate that structure? I feel like it kind of lacked purpose. And drive? And maybe an editor?

I do not anticipate this author writing novels because there were so many missed connections between the tattoos and events and development etc…

Overall, I felt like I was reading her resume, not a book. It was a great resume and she absolutely gets the job!! But I was wanting something different. Something both more emotional and more factual? Rather than feeling like just her and I catching up on what we’ve been up to lately.

[Rohan Myers · Rating 3 out of 5]

Learned about Alicia, her intersex journey, and her travel experiences! This was my first book by an intersex author, so I definitely learned a lot.

Unfortunately, the farther I got into the book, the more it felt like I was reading publicly available information from her LinkedIn 🤷🏽‍♂️ Also not super into memoirs so maybe it wasn’t meant for me.

[Ashley Heuser · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’m disappointed that Roth acknowledges that we live in an ableist society, yet does not realize that she is contributing to that by using ableist and sanist words throughout her book (lunacy, blind, lame). Why must she use phrases that frame disability as inherently negative to criticize dates and legislators?

[Chaz · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this for a book club, as I am not a memoir person. I am still not a memoir person.

[Jess Hagemann · Rating 4 out of 5]

I tore through Alicia Roth Weigel’s moving depictions of undergoing IGM (intersex genital mutilation) as an infant and how this invasive and unnecessary surgery, imposed to make her anomalous body (she was born with XY chromosomes, internal testes, and a vagina) “fit the binary,” sent her into the equivalent of menopause at age four, complete with hot flashes and uncontrollable bouts of crying.

[Sydney | sydneys.books]

Equal parts informative, heavy, preachy, and inspiring. Thank you to JennaClareK for the recommendation! I haven't read many things about intersex people and it was perfect to kick off Pride Month. I don't know if this is the best writing about the intersex experience on the market, but there aren't a lot of options and I plan to read them all.

TW: Forced sterilization; Transphobia; Alcoholism and substance abuse; Anxiety and panic attacks; Rape (not graphic); Parent with anger issues; Cheating; Slut-shaming

CW: Lack of bodily autonomy (major theme); Nonconsensual medical procedures; Harry Potter mentions

Alicia having a thing for Brazilian men is so relatable. She's just a girl!! With XY chromosomes!!

This memoir is overall about what it's like being an intersex person and learning the language for what you've always been told to keep a secret. It's about accepting yourself and coming out. But it's also Weigel's journey into politics and how she ended up in Texas, continuing to advocate for queer and trans rights, even in the second Trump administration. It's also a bit of a travel memoir. The author has spent a lot of time in other countries, which has informed her political views.

If you're looking for escapism, this ain't it. But I do think this (or any of the books she recommends in the memoir) is crucial reading for anyone who is queer or an ally, myself being the latter. The I is in LGBTQIAP+ but so few actually know much about it. The author also has bipolar disorder and anxiety.

[mads]

Deeply appreciated the author's vulnerability and discussion of her journey as an intersex woman, as well as introductory information about intersex experience as a whole.

Aside from that, this does read a bit choppy as if we are reading a collection of the author's experiences rather than a cohesive memoir. Other reviewers have noted that this kind of sounds like the author's resume, and I can't disagree (though I will add, it also felt like reading a bunch of Instagram captions and piecing together a life through the pictures of vacations and shaking hands with influential people). Much of the book is us following the author as she lists all of the things she has done and the people they have met - sometimes creating a question in the reader of why this was included.

All in all, though, I'm glad I read this and I would still recommend it, especially to anyone whose prior knowledge of intersex had only been taught through a sensationalized lens.

[Maddie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Really disappointed with this one :(

[Ariadne Will · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book feels slapdash. The structure relies on the author’s tattoos, which I feel depends on them having more meaning than maybe they actually do. It also feels to me that this book should have been written later on, when the author is more settled into herself. As is, it reads like a 220-page blog post/LinkedIn profile rolled into one. I agree that intersex visibility is crucial, but I wish this book had been better executed.

Also, the grammar drove me crazy: so many (misused) ellipses; very sporadic commas. I’m surprised at the amount of buzz this book has received, though I do admit it has had a good marketing campaign.

I’m glad that this book is accomplishing the author’s mission of visibilizing intersex folks. It feels strange, though, the way she does not include two-spirit folks in any of her dialogue, even after spending pages making the point of the acronym LGBTQIA+, considering that an updated form of that acronym is LGBTQIA2S+.

I ultimately feel that, despite trying to account for her privilege, the author remains susceptible to it in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable. I wish she would have taken time in her memoir to talk about the ways she, too, is learning, instead of positioning herself as an outspoken woman who is in👏the👏right👏

P.S. I find it telling that this book came across my radar very shortly after its publication, when the Aug. 2023 memoir by Pidgeon Pagonis, a BIPOC intersex activist mentioned in this memoir, did not come to my attention until just now.

[Jenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

i wasn't sure what i was getting into when i picked this up, but i was immediately hooked from the get go. this is such a lovely little memoir about both the intersex experience and alicia's activism work. a lot of people in the reviews critique this by saying it's too much like a resume or a cover letter, and while i do think there is a lot of name-dropping (people and orgs/jobs), i think that's kinda the point. alicia's clearly very passionate about the work she's done and even though there is a lot of great talk in here about her experience being intersex, it's completely intertwined with the other activism she strives to do. i really loved hearing about her life because not only has she done some pretty insane stuff, but i also just appreciate how hard she tries. it's clear that even if she isn't a perfect person (nobody is), she works hard to grow and learn and become the best version of herself while also helping the people around her. i loved how millenial this book is, and i loved that it's structured based on her tattoos. it doesn't take itself too seriously, but it's really thoughtful and obviously it made me think about a lot of things i'd never considered before! i'm always on the lookout for more intersex information because it's few and far between and i think this is a great place to start.

[Emilie Maierhofer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciate Roth Weigel sharing her story with open honesty. However, the book read like an autobiography, not a memoir. There was a lack of depth, and I was disappointed by the rush through life events. Although she comments on her privilege, her life story still left me thinking that her lifestyle is unrelatable.

I think after more years of reflection and distance from the events, this could be re-written with 5 stars.

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was very nice to listen to as a young adult. Not only to learn more about intersex people but as someone trying to find a career. A large section of the book was dedicated to the many jobs she’s had in her 20s and 30s so it was helpful for me to see what i can expect these next few years! She also talks about how she got into being more serious in her activism with many different groups which i found interesting.

[Bek (MoonyReadsByStarlight) · Rating 3 out of 5]

The parts about intersex experience and activism, and some parts about coming up against TX legislature was interesting and important. There were sections that were compelling. Unfortunately, a lot of the memoir bits fell flat. Parts that could have gone somewhere stayed with little to no exploration, while other details were unnecessarily included. The writing style ranged from boring to grading.

Additionally, the spirituality bits sometimes ventured into cultural appropriation (white people being shown around the Amazon so they can do psychedelics is suspect to me) and some of the attitude when bringing up Harry Potter was majorly off-putting (instead of any careful explanation, there was a sarcastic comment about cancel culture).

So, parts with interesting and important insight. But also parts that were just not enjoyable to read

[Frances Krumholtz · Rating 2 out of 5]

This waffled between a 2 and 3 star situation, but this was Very Not For Me. I listened to the audiobook but wonder if reading it would have been more palatable. 🤷🏻

[Andrea Keeler · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm not a big fan... this book reads like a blog post with no depth or personal reflection. I love that this book brings awareness to intersex folks, though!
The author is very privileged, and it shows in her writing. She complains about going to an Ivy League, complains about her parents who pay her tuition, complains about her free, private Austin housing. She travels around the world and obviously has a lot of money (can afford to not take a job and instead to live abroad for a year on savings??). Some parts made me uncomfortable, like she was the only informed person in the world? And it's kinda braggy, like she's having sex with all the famous people and had a famous teacher in high school. Ok, cool.
I feel like she brings other folks down, too - like stereotyping gay people, wanting to remove L, G, and B from the LGBT+ acronym, and making ace folks feel unloved and unwelcomed in the queer community. Ugh, I was really excited about this one, but it needs a lot of editing and reworking.

[Shelby · Rating 2 out of 5]

My rating has nothing to do with Alicia as a person, the intersex population, etc. Unfortunately I think this suffers from the classic memoir downfall of the writer being too young to write a memoir. A lot of it was white girl studies abroad from prestigious college, celebrity name drops, and resume/job interview answers. I think this would have been better as a collection of essays centering on being intersex vs a memoir about her life.

[Mai H.]

Memoir March TBR

Non-fiction November TBR

Pride TBR

📱 Thank you to NetGalley and HarperOne

[Cari · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is for anyone who wants to better understand the life of an intersex person (the I in LGBTQIA+). Does the bathroom debate piss you off? (Pun intended) What about the sports and gender/sex debate? Trick questions: no matter your answers, you should read this book.

[Madelyn (Vaughn) Burke · Rating 4 out of 5]

I added a star because I appreciate what she’s trying to do here
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so much of the way she talks just feels like I’m in 2016 twitter again & it actually hurts my head
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it’s really weird, because it feels like she’s been in activist circles for long enough that she knows how to acknowledge her privilege in words, but I don’t think it shines through otherwise. the whole part about her connection to South America just felt like a white woman who over-pronounces Spanish words at a Mexican restaurant (part of the problem is that I listened to the audiobook and she does that a little with the Portuguese words). It’s hard to acknowledge both privilege and oppression at the same time but I often got this feeling like she feels like her intersex identity negates some of her whiteness? and it just doesn’t
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I get it, it’s hard not to name-drop and brag when writing a memoir. she has done a lot of cool things & her accomplishments are truly incredible HOWEVER it felt like reading someone’s resume in narrative format
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I am unreasonably annoyed about the “making a Harry Potter reference does not mean support of J.K. Rowling” bit because do you not want trans kids to read your book? and feel safe doing it? idk it just felt icky maybe pick a different reference
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I remember this one video I saw that was talking about that Sam Smith and Kim Petras song, something to the effect of “it’s so cool and great for representation that a nonbinary person and a trans woman worked together on this really popular song, I just hope it’s good next time” except “it’s cool and great for representation that she shared her intersex experience in this memoir & is doing great work to raise awareness for intersex people and their stories, I just hope the next intersex memoir I read is a good one”

[Maddie Harvala · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a super interesting book that has spurred a lot of conversations with others and a lot of reflection, myself. Autobiographies are wild, man. That’s so much vulnerability!! Thank god no one is making me write one

[Dot526 · Rating 3 out of 5]

Learned a lot about the Intersex community while reading this fascinating memoir. Very glad I picked it up but wish it would have had more depth in many sections. Weigel has experienced a lot at a young age and I look forward to hearing more from her.

[Victoria Law · Rating 4 out of 5]

Engaging and informative memoir. I learned a lot from this slim book.

I wish she’d had endnotes or a list of the articles & books she’d referenced for historical facts so that those of us totally new to the issue can easily look up more. (That’s the only reason this is 4 rather than 4 stars).